Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)

Someone recently wrote to me and chewed me out for the deep-seated biases I hold. They went on for about half a page, using just about every expletive I can think of in rapid succession. His finale involved declaring that he was the one true unbiased RPG fan in the world, and that Star Ocean 2 was "clearly superior."

I tossed it out, shrugging. So?

First off, this is a letters column, not a news story. The whole point of the exercise is to exchange opinions and flaunt personalities, and heaven forfend, those often involve biases. I make no claim that anything I write in this column is unbiased. Hell, I revel in my biases. I like Working Designs and don't think too highly of Pokemon. I have fond memories of the Turbografx, and will slag on the Virtual Boy at every opportunity. That's my perogative. If you want unbiased news, you're really in the wrong place.

More to the point, everybody has biases. Everybody. It's part of your decision-making process. Your past experiences and general tastes will influence how you react to new stimuli. You can attempt to minimize the influence and how apparent it is, but every time you write a reaction, your biases do play a role in how you express that reaction. It's no crime, it's nothing to get up in arms about.

The only problem is when people get high and mighty, and point fingers saying "that's clearly biased for/against such-and-so!" This is, almost without exception, a shorthand for "I think you're wrong." But since accusations of bias seem to hold much more weight (and require less effort) than actual, coherent arguments, they're pulled out by the simple-minded like Excalibur from the stone.

Revel in your bias. Love it. There's nothing wrong with it, and never was.

Tah and dah. And, for those wondering, we've got more information about the Working Designs music and vocals further down the page. Who says I don't aim to please? Besides my ex-girlfriends?

I... I... god, I just keep on getting flashbacks to Austin Powers, mixed with porn movies. This is not a good thing. Ugh ugh ugh. Let's move on before I coat my monitor with vomit.

Yep, half the population of the earth wrote in with this correction. Makkuro wrote it out completely and explained it fully, though, so he gets his printed. Plus I liked the irony of the Swede who corrects the English of the native speakers.

Let me check our original article text. Here we are:

As previously reported, Final Fantasy VI will retain Ted Woolsey's English translation and name changes -- the heroine is Terra, not Tina, and Cyan is not named after a pepper.

I'm afraid you totally misread the article, somehow, which is sort of mystifying, since it's pretty explicit. The heroine is Terra, not Tina. It's the Woolsey translation. Ba dum bum.

Thanks for the clarifications, Jason. I think that solves that little case, non?

Tactics Talk

Herro thele! I was readring your column letter and I thought...this's the way! I have a good feering! Many people are being saying that the translations in FFT are good not being! Har har! If you know, you can foresee! Learn and prepare for battles! Har har har! Being good FFT it is! Translations are being good! Just look at how good I am being!!!! This was the darkened Items won't appear! Seeing you? Off course! 'Learn' learns ability! Being going to there been when are Allan? Translation of mine is fine! Swords are for fighting not for playing! This you must be remembering! Soldiers perform many tasks throughout the battle; they're not just playing with swords. When in battle, not building sand castles are you, but instead fighting! No swords for you! These guy are sick! I even doing translation FF7 been working on! No, way! Leaving not doing yet! Har har har! What a silly being this game is! I have a good feering! This's the way, off course! When items are being useded in battles, you must remember these words of advice! Items being used are Items that are consumed during battle! This you must be remembering, also!!! If you forgetted, overing the battle could be before you know it! Buy lots of phoernerix downs! LISTEN! Move is your moving ability! Movering around the board is how you move! If you can't move, then you will be in one place fer the wholer battle! My seeing has been going lately, as also! "Arrange" reorders the Items appearing on the list! But many persons are being telling me that that says Order! Off course! These silly persons! Bering foorish they are, don't think you? Har har har! Well, leaving I must be now! This's the way! I will go to work on FFT2! I have a good feering!!!!!! Daravon P.S. This site has some other screen shots as well! Graphics

I think the good professor nails the issue pretty well here (and amusingly, too). If there is any remaining question, head down to Zany Video Game Quotes.

If there is ANY question that FFT has a crap translation at this point, I worry for the grammar skills of our nation's youth.

We were going to do a big Star Ocean 2 guide at GIA, but a quick visit to GameFAQs quickly illustrated how pointless that is. There are 400+k walkthroughs and guides to the game. Between those files, and the GIA Star Ocean message board, any game help you could possibly need should be covered. As for general shrines to the game, I'm unaware of any at this point.

I'd have to play devil's advocate to argue the "graphics aren't everything" point, which would be a dumbass thing to do, so I'm not going to bother.

First off, of course I recognized the Ash reference. I was just doing another schtick for my joke answer, and it would've been jarring to suddenly switch tracks and discuss the Evil Dead movies. So I left it be, assuming that my cultured and intelligent readers would spot the reference, smile, and move along without hand-holding.

As for Xenogears, I did find that it dragged in places, and genuinely disliked the second disc. I did enjoy the latter half of the first disc, though. Lots of movement there, lots of interesting plot developments, albeit ones expressed in overlong dialogue sequences.

I grew up on Nintendo systems. For the longest time, Nintendo game was synonymous with video game, in my mind. I owned an NES, countless games, an SNES, a Game Boy, and beat just about every significant title available, and then some. I even read Nintendo fricking Power. Submitted high scores and everything. I was a big Nintendo guy.

But times change, and my blind loyalty to Nintendo disappeared when they stopped deserving it. The N64 is a flaming wreck in terms of RPG support. They released some truly putrid piles of shit like Crusin' USA, Killer Instinct in all its hideous incarnations, and Yoshi's Story. They ceased to be the development platform of choice for many of my favorite companies. More and more, Nintendo made it clear that their audience was the 6-12 year old set, and that everyone else can piss off. So I did.

There are some N64 games I enjoy, and play them when I get together with friends. No problem there. I recognize some of their recent titles, mainly Zelda, as being excellent pieces of work. But until Nintendo starts giving a rat's ass about anyone who's gone through puberty, I see precious little reason to buy their systems and games, much less treat them as the end-all be-all of gaming.

I don't hate Nintendo, for the record. I just don't follow them blindly any longer. I treat them like any other developer, on the same level as Sega, Capcom, Sony, Square, or Acclaim. No better, no worse.

Thank you very much. I don't know how I could've struggled through this crisis without your help. From the bottom of my spleen, I thank you.

Closing Comments

I'm considering just tossing this section, because I never have anything interesting to say here anymore. Ah well. See you tomorrow.

- Allan Milligan