The translation have started to move! - June 13th, 1999 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. For the next hour, we will control all you see and hear. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)
You know, sometimes I just have to take a little time out to help the readers. Yes, without the readers this column would be nothing. Okay, so it would be a bunch of letters I make up myself about 8 bit Nintendo games and Taco Bell, but that's beside the point. The truth is, I like to help you readers out when I can. I like to remove the proverbial potato sack that you've stuck over your head to cover the huge zit on your nose and let a little light shine into your lives. And so, on that note, I've noticed some people expressing concern about the dating scene. How will you ever find that Princess or Bride, or that Prince Charming or whatever the Hell it is you're looking for, you little freak? Well, with practice of course! And so, taking a few notes from the Japanese, I sat up late last night and deviced the ultimate dating aid; Drew's Dating Sim! Enjoy, my little Pop Tarts. | Just because it has a lameass name doesn't mean it can't have Lunar | I was watching the Making of Lunar, movie included with Lunar, and I noticedthat Game Arts's testing facilities had Dreamcasts sitting right next to thePlaystations. I remember reading that Game Arts may decide to make the nextLunar for Dreamcast, what are your predictions on this happening? -Kit |
Its already common knowledge that Lunar 3 is in the pre-production stages, so now people are interested to know just which platform it's going to be on. I can't really tell you for sure, but I'd say it's a safe bet the next Lunar will arrive on the Dreamcast, at least in Japan. Game Arts is an extremely loyal developer for Sega's systems. Hell, they made the first two Lunars for the Sega CD, which bombed in every sense of the word. But when it comes time to be translated for us North Americans, that's a whole other story. Vic Ireland absolutely loathes Sega, and point-blank refuses to develop for one of their systems ever again. One of the Sega PR guys stepped on his lawn or something. So, I'd expect to see it ported to the Playstation 2 here in North America. | It's either England or Hell | Hey, I've been on vacation here in Huntingdon, England for a week now, with 5 weeks left to go. Anyway, what I wanted to say was: we have no right whatsoever to complain about video games, RPG's in particular, in the USA. I went to Toys R Us yesterday, hoping to find Star Ocean or Lunar, and they of course weren't out here yet. So I looked around the videogames section for other RPGs. THERE ARE NO RPG's HERE! The only RPG I could find was Final Fantasy VII (which came in a nifty more compact package). I think I'm going to die, since I've arrived in a land devoid of RPGs. One thing's for certain, though, I'm going to appreciate living in America a lot more now. So basically what I'm saying is that before you write in to rant about translations, or something else, at least we GET the games. I don't know how I'm going to survive the next five weeks. :( oh, and on a completely unrelated note, the instruction booklets here are huge! They have the instructions in english, then they have it all over again in every european language! Golly gee willickers! Ok, I don't have anymore words now. -BenGrande. Blue! Blue! Join the cult! |
When you can't find an RPG anywhere you look, you can only come to one of two possible conclusions. Either you're in Europe, or you've died and gone to Hell like you know you deserve. Don't lie to me, we all knew you had it coming. Allow me to make this a little more positive for you. There's a game for the Super Nintendo by the name of Terranigma that was translated and released in Europe, but in one of life's little ironies never made it stateside. It's an excellent game, and there are people in America willing to pay excuberant prices just to get their hands on a copy. If you can track it down, you'll have a fun little game to play while you're over there, and you'll be the envy of your friends. Besides, how could I resist a letter with a cool Earthbound reference in it? | Severe depression | "When does a game become so serious that it loses its value as a form ofentertainment? Is that even possible?" Yes, I definitely do believe this is not only possible, but also acceptable,in my opinion. If you've ever watched Schindler's List, you know how greatthat movie was, it's superb directing and writing, but can you honestly sayyou were entertained by it? In fact, if someone actually says they wereentertained by it, wouldn't they sound like a cold, heartless bastard?They'd sound like, "Heh, heh, the Jews are being killed, heh, heh," which isobviously very heartless. Since a movie can be of excellent quality and notbe entertaining because of its seriousness, so can another art form, like atelevision show, a song, or a videogame. Whether the player actually WANTSto play such a type of game is basically player preference. I know peoplewho wouldn't watch Schindler's List ever because of how depressing it is. Sojust because a videogame isn't necessarily entertaining doesn't mean it'snot worth playing. A winner is you! The truck have started to move! Are you bad enough torescue the president? This's the way! (anyone who says "This is the way!"obviously doesn't see the translation error) -Clyde Hudman |
Sometimes you watch, listen to, or play something in order to expand your horizons and become a better, more understanding human being. Does all film and literature have to constitue as entertainment? On the flip side of the coin, don't you go to the movies to get away from reality? It's all a matter of taste for the most part. | It's square to be Square | | Howdy. I disagree with the guy who said we shouldn't overanalyze games too much. There is a vast difference between trying to find religious themes in BFM, and in doing it in Xenogears. Xenogears probably has the most convoluted plot of any game ever, and a massive part of that plot is religion. To me, the main theme of the entire game seemed to be to look inwardly to find God, and not outside of yourself. This was represented by the Nisan sect, and in direct opposition is the Ethos, who look to an external God, and are undeniably modelled after Catholics. This isn't some kind of random thing that was tossed into the game. This is at the heart of the plot. It isn't overanalyzation to see this as making a religious statement. About the guy who was unhappy with the newer Final Fantasy games, it pushed me to write what I've wanted to say for a long time. Doesn't anyone still love Squaresoft? Almost everyone I meet is unhappy with the way the Final Fantasy series is headed, or hated Final Fantsay VII, or continually throws off cliched lines like "If I wanted watch a movie I'd go to the theater." Am I the only one left who still gets giddy over the upcoming arrival of Final Fantasy VIII? It seems that Vestal might still be a dedicated Square lover from his reviews on videogames.com, but then again, most people I meet don't like him either for some reason that I can't fathom. Am I doomed to be forever thought of as a hapless eye-candy loving newbie just because I happen to like where Square is headed? -Arpad Korossy |
While some people, such as my cheerfully bitchy self, will complain about the weightiness of Xenogears' plot and the almost obsessive scrutinization of even the irrelevant minutiae regarding its storyline and meanings by fans, I can't deny that Xenogears was a game intended to be thought provoking and dwelled upon even past completion. As much as I enjoy complaining like an old man who's chagrined by the misplacement his dentures as a neighborhood dog steps onto his precious crabgrass, I'll concede that it would be downright ignorant not to realize the religious overtones to the game. I'll be honest about the Squaresoft issue. I like most of Square's latest offerings. I thought Final Fantasy VII was great. Maybe not on par with the Godlike Final Fantasy VI, but it's still one of my favorite games to date. What people don't like is the fact that Square has lost the consumer-friendly facade it once had in the days of Woolsey and the gang. They just seem so corporate and stuff shirt now, you can't help but cast them a cynical eye. So, to sum it up in so many words, most people don't hate Square's games, they hate Square's business practices. There are a few people that genuninely dislike everything Square releases beyond FFIV, but these are just the vocal minority. And I use that phrase lightly. | Some crap about Square and a potroast | I belive (here it comes) that after spending all that money MAKINGthe game in Japanese, after slaving over the computer writing code afterendless code to make little sprites dance, you kinda think: Screw thedamn Americans, so they spend three bucks to hire a spider monkey witha tinfoil hate with red slacks to type in a phrases, you gotta admit,for a monkey, that's a real acomplishment. In all seriousness, afternearly draining the budget, and the nerves of the creators and theconsumers, that you don't have the time/care to really work on a wellworked on translation, just enough to get the idea past (and even then,not even that). So all in all, go monkey go, make us proud. -Zemus |
In a way I can understand that logic. If you worked all day making a potroast, and all your American friends would eat it, but there was this one Japanese friend of yours who refused to eat anything that wasn't a dead, uncooked fish, you'd probably just grab a frickin' can of tuna for the little bastard so he'd shut up. Okay, so that was a pretty screwed up illustration, but you get my point. But wait a second, you say! Isn't the number of Americans buying the games equal to, if not greater than the number of Japanese buying them in many cases? Why yes! That's kind of like opening a restaurant that only caters to the tastes of half the population. If a company wants to release a game to english speaking gamers, they should show us enough gratitude to give us a decent translation. God I love assinine illustrations. | Choke your cucoo | I'd also like to point out that in Zelda: Link to the Past, Ganon resides in the Pyramid of Power, and in Z64, there is the giant snake woman statue in the Spirit Temple (I think that's the statue he was referring to). Not to mention the wizard Agahnim wears garments that resemble what the people wear/wore in the Egyptian/Arabian area (mostly Arabian, I think... but desert wear), the little flowing hood with the mask covering the lower face. There's also a book (Book of Mudora) that helps decode ancient Hylian writing, similar to ancient Hieroglyphics... (I think that's how it's spelled) of the Egyptians. What I'd like to know is, where does (or what religion) attacking chickens come from? ;-) Perhaps Nintendo isn't as conservative/goody-goody as one might think... Quick! Somebody call the Humane Society! Get those Cuccoos' agents on the phone! Under that kid-friendly outer exterior lies an evil corporation bent on causing extinction of Cucoos! Oh, I can't help but say it.... "Oh, please don't tease my Cuccoos!"*dies laughing* - Seiferoth |
Yes. The huge number of Egyptian-Americans should feel proud right now. Or something. As for the cucoos, what warm blooded human being has never at one time looked at a chicken with that dull, unaware gloss over its eyes and thought to his or herself, "I'd sure like to whack that thing repeatedly with a sharp broad sword while dressed in tights and a Peter Pan outfit"? Okay, so probably nobody, but it sure was fun in the game. Now leave me be so I can get back to chasing around bees with an empty Schmuckers jar and a fishing net. | Indiscriminate killing | Are you sure it was the gravity of Xenogears that fried your brain?Perhaps it was the dragging text. Or the plot, bloated to 2.5 times thereasonable size with endless tangents. Or Disc 2.To answer the original question, I think there are people who willbe entertained by anything. Hell, there are even those who love thestory of an idealistic young boy saving the world enough to hear it overand over again. In short, every sort of topic matter is a viable basisfor an entertaining game, just as long as that subject can be accuratelyrepresented within the medium. Much of the more subdued subject matterfound in books and movies must be jettisoned because of the need forindiscriminate killing. An RPG truly loses its entertainment value only when the plot takesaway the player's chance to win--wraps everything up in a neat littlepackage, as it were. The joy of victory is partially stolen when thegamer realizes that his characters lose no matter what. While someplayers are exceptions, I think the amount of bitching over FF7's endingshows that I am at least partially correct.I have run out of things to say. -The blatantly false corpse who does crack just to spite the sewer |
But, then, isn't gameplay everything? That's what people like to say, even though they know darn well they're just being graphic tarts in self-denial. Release the inner graphics tart! You know you want some fancy explosions, admit it. But yeah, beyond my mindless ramblings, a game's plot has to allow for tons of baddies to wax and a clear cut nemesis so you feel a sense of accomplishment upon beating the game, something other forms of media don't have to concern themselves with, necesserily. | I'm real helpful... | Hey Drew, do you know any good DexDrive archives? Specifically, I want tofind Final Fantasy VII saves from right before the various Golden Saucerdates. I'm playing FF7 through right now for the second time, but I justcouldn't bring myself to be mean to Aerith. So I've had to accept thereality that I'm never going to see any of the other dates unless I usesomeone else's save data. Unfortunately, my web searches only foundappropriate saved games for the Japanese version of the game. Can you orone of the readers please help me with this dilemma? - Kaxon |
Unfortunately, being a broke sumbitch, I haven't been able to get my hands on a Dex Drive yet, and thus have no experience in finding data and saves for one. I'd say your best bet is to check out www.dexchange.net, being the official site and all. When the GIA gets its Community section up and running, there's going to be a sexy Dex Drive section with just the kind of saves you seek. Dig it. | Monikor madness | Drew, I think you should have a moniker. I took the trouble to invent a couple for you, but they aren't very good. Also, some of them are already used by other things, but I figured they could work for you just the same. If you don't like mine, maybe you should hold a contest called "Give Drew a Moniker" or something of that vein. You might want to also hold a pledge drive called "Give Allan Pants". That might be a smart plan, too. It could save life on earth. My Sample Drew Monikers, by Denethor Greenleaf Drew "He Eats The Bacon" Cosner Drew: He's what's for dinner.
Drew "My Attention," Cosner Drew "No, I'm the one with the third breast" Cosner
Drew "Not Kevin, Dickhead" Cosner
Better than the Few New Ewes: Drew
Got Bent? Get Drew.
Drew "I Eat My Monkey Brains" Cosner
Drew "The Anti-Fucko" Cosner
Got Drew? Get Bent. And. . .Drew "I'll tattoo a picture of a naked Richard Simmons rubbing against a desexed Michael Flatley on your ass if you harass me again you spiny-skinned son of a cabbit fucko who enjoys the lesbian tendencies of Bob" Cosner Do I need to say which is my favourite? You should let people vote. -Denethor Greenleaf |
I think Drew "Almighty Lord and Sovereign of the Universe" Cosner will do just fine, thank you. Closing Comments This isn't a secret message, but if you want to sit around all day trying to decode it anyway, feel free. - Drew Cosner, The one whom the children call "Santa Claus"
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