Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Hello, I am the King of Japan! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Andrew here, writing from Japan. Drew's general topic of Japan-type questions has put me in a bit of a double-bind today. Several of you wrote in with Japan-themed questions for me, which is great. Most of these questions, however, asked for my own thoughts or opinions on different parts of the culture. This puts me in the inenviable position of talking about myself--and if there's one trait I can't stand in a letters host, its self-indulgent narcissism. That said, let's talk about me!

I might as well address this criticism up front. As you're no doubt aware, Japanese trains are CROWDED. The moogle suit's wings are four feet wide and have a pointy, metal wire frame. Not the best way to make friends with the natives. In any case, I debated the wings issue intensely, but in the end, decided that a wingless moogle out-in-public beats a winged one in the privacy of my own home. So there.

First things first; internationally annoying memes [currently down] to the contrary, there is no 'p' in hamster.

That said, yes, hamster sims are very popular here. Especially licensed ones featuring everyone's favorite Hamtaro, though the "generic" ones are popular too. They're not really breeding simulations, per se, so much as hyper-Tamagotchis. Feed, bathe, play, poop scoop, etc. Virtual pets for the poor apartment-bound Japanese child, or so goes the most common rationale.

"Those latrine things," for those those unaware, are basically glorified holes in the ground. Anyways, most houses and apartments have been fully converted to the Western-style toilet, usually with incredibly elaborate heated-seats with integrated bidet--seats that threaten to transform into a giant robot at any moment. Public places like restaurants and department stores, however, tend to be a 50/50 split.

Aside: the other day, I saw the most cruel trick at a train station. I've heard of pay toilets before, and smirked, but this was no laughing matter. This station let you use the toilets for free--it was the toilet paper that cost money. And it was only sold outside the bathroom, before you went inside. I can only imagine the poor gaijin who enters, goes about his business, and only THEN realizes the trouble he's in.

Sure are. Loose socks are as popular as ever, though the tight high-socks are gaining in popularity, especially the navy variety.

Poor videogame quality control? I'm soaking in it! To answer your question, most of what doesn't come to America fall firmly into two categories. The first is titles that, while well-produced, fall into genres that, outside of a few diehard otaku, would never sell in the U.S. The better dating simulations and narrative adventures (like Tokimeki Memorial and the Suikogaiden games) are in this category. The rest are a glut of bizarre titles in genres that would be best kept on this side of the ocean; pet games, horse racing games, mahjonng and pachinko games, and terrible anime-licensed titles, to name a few.

All in all, Americans have very little to complain about nowadays. And don't forget, America even got ICO and Metal Gear Solid 2 before Japan--not to mention Silent Hill 2 day-and-date. On the other side of the coin, in a just a few weeks Gitaroo-Man, a fantastic, quirky music-rhythm game that sold fewer than 4,000 copies throughout the whole of its Japanese release, will be hitting U.S. shores. The U.S. market is being seen as increasingly important to Japanese makers; in today's thankfully enlightened climate, almost everything worth playing is coming to the states. Take it from someone who has to sort through the glut everytime he heads to Akihabara: you're missing out on very, very little.

Yes! It's true! You may have heard this was just a vicious Internet rumor, but that's just what the man wants you to think. You can save Aeris in the Japanese version of FFVII! But only certain copies. I have stockpiled these copies and will sell them to interested parties for $60 each. Interested parties should contact me at the address below.

I'm not sure it's the sort of thing the GIA would cover, but I'll certainly plug it in DA. I'll also plug the ridiculously cute cheerful Tomak that introduces developer Seed9's official website.

As a severe Bemani fan, I'll drop a few words about the series. Guitar Freaks / Drum Mania has really taken off in the past few mixes, with tons of licensed songs, both Western and Japanese. Some serious chart-topping talent, too, not just no-names. Keyboard Mania uses the same song set as the previous two games, but is nowhere near as popular. Meanwhile, Dance Dance Revolution is going even further down the techno / house /parapara path, adopting a candy raver style and leaving its funkier stylings almost entirely behind in favor of speed, speed, speed. The original Beatmania has sort of fallen off the radar; the 7-keys of II DX are too hardcore for all but the extremely devout, and development on the 5-key version has all-but stopped. Fortunately, the most recent 5-key mix (6th, "the u.k. underground mix") is really, really good.

Personally, I play Guitar Freaks and the original Beatmania, and am just starting to pick up Drum Mania. Overall, though, the Bemani family has had really taken off in the past year and a half; the in-house, no-name music of the original mixes has given way to fully-licensed, "real" music of a variety of genres. Of course, your mileage may vary.

I haven't played GTA3 yet--its distinctly American brand of vigilante justice has yet to cross the Pacific. Still, everything you've said rings true with what I've heard about the game. Even so, I think that to insist that the GIA should cover Grand Theft Auto 3 for these reasons misses the larger point at hand. The gameplay points you listed are hardly exclusive to Grand Theft Auto 3. The fact is, nowadays, everything is turning into what was once called an "RPG."

For years, elements like character development, gripping narrative, and a constructive, semi-linear gameplay pacing were exclusive to RPGs. As technology has advanced, however, we've seen these traits expand to other genres. Nowadays, action games, first-person shooters, and even fighting games are coopting these elements. "RPG elements!" used to be an important bulletpoint on the back of boxes. No one says that anymore--nowadays, they're just gameplay elements.

Given the changing state of the medium, is it any wonder that the GIA expanded our coverage--or that our coverage is sometimes somewhat confused? Deciding whether or not to cover a "borderline" game on the GIA is a complicated matter that ultimately comes down more to a "gut feeling" than to any scientific checklist. One of the questions we ask ourselves is, "Is the game already receiving adequate and comprehensive coverage on other gaming sites?" In GTA3's case, the answer was a resounding "yes," and we decided to pass.

Closing comments:

Tomorrow's topic is Metal Gear Solid 2. This is the big time, folks; bring up anything and everything you please, and expect full-frontal spoilers throughout. What do you think of the title's gameplay changes? Its unexpected narrative twists? Its narrative pacing? The way Kojima handled its central themes? The way its themes differed from what might have been expected? The way the game dovetailed with the first Metal Gear Solid? And what do you want to see in the inevitable Metal Gear Solid 3?

These questions and countless others have doubtless been gnawing at your skull since the game's release. Let it out. Let it all out. Anything brought up in today's column is also fair game for further discussion.

- Andrew Vestal, stranger in a strange land