Dignity is for the dogs - November 4th, 2001 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Sassy! Don't say we didn't warn you.
I wish I had something good for you guys up here. I know I always try to hook my readers up with a phat intro, but alas, not today. I tried sleeping on a textbook to internalize the information via osmosis while I slept, but I think it just drained my brain energy instead. | A man with moxie | | I just read AV's Moogle suit article, and I must say, the man's nickname should be Andrew VeSTALLION. WOO! -Adam |
Boy oh boy do I remember how the shit hit the fan the first time Andrew made the mistake of putting a picture of himself in that costume on the Internet. Say what you will about the costume being fruity, but it takes a lot more moxie to be seen dressed as a moogle in public than it does to dress up like Neo from the Matrix or something. The only way it could have been worse is if Andrew had disguised himself as a giant dildo or something. | Just give it up. | | My roommate was in the room when I finally made it to the ragnarok scene in FFVIII. After all my "this is a cool game!"ing, that pretty much sucked for me. -Narbus |
You may as well just give up on the idea of ever convincing him that Final Fantasy is a deep, complex series brimming with mature plot aspects at this point. That'll never happen. | Being Rude (or Reno, in this case.) | | Howdy. I must sadly admit that I have indeed sacrificed my dignity at the altar of gaming. It happened back in high school when I was still in a total fanboy phase, when I would have been honored to have someone call me an otaku. Basically, I was an idiot. Anyhow, me and the other two guys I knew at school who were into RPGs decided to dress up as the Turks. Or, as I should say, I convinced them to dress up as the Turks. However, I only had one suit at home, which wasn't even blue, and it was incredibly small on me. Nevertheless, I secretly packed it into my backpack one day, along with an ugly pair of aviator's sunglasses, a white shirt, and a mostly straight stick I found that I had spraypainted gray to be my nightstick (I was going as Reno). I snuck into the bathroom at school before classes, put on the suit and sunglasses, then messed up my hair and untucked half the shirt just like Reno wore it. I then left the bathroom and walked around in the hallways to let everyone possible see how cool I was by dressing up as a video game character at school. As if this wasn't all enough, we later took photos of ourselves, which I scanned in, and still have as a constant reminder of what a dork I was. In fact, pretty much my entire time in high school is a string of incredibly embarassing incidents of me willingly making a fool of myself. Like that time I dressed up as the nurse from Romeo and Juliet. Thanks for bringing it up. I think I'll go sit in the corner and cry now. -Arpad |
Look at it this way: at least you can use that as a measuring rod for the remainder of your life. Anything you do, no matter how nerdy, can ever be that bad. If you consider it that way, you're always better off than you used to be! | Dance dance, you fool | | Sacrificed dignity? I think I gave dignity up in general a few years ago, but importing a GameCube controller and showing it off to nearby people in my college classes sure had to make me look stupid to some people--especially when I'd go off on how cool the analog shoulders are. And, of course, Dance Dance Revolution. Speaking of people losing dignity for money (be it for self or donation), you've gotta love the human Pikmin who recently shaved his head, painted hisself blue, put a leaf on his head, ate crickets and mealworms, and came away with a GameCube and $5000 more than he had before. He's my hero. Joshua Slone |
Ah yes, DDR. By far the most common response to yesterday's topic. Something about flailing around like a psychotic while other brooders are bent over the Tekken machine makes you feel a tad out of place. That the game is constantly trying to pass of homosexual come-on lines as compliments in a bombastic voice only makes matters worse. Unless you're female, but I still can't imagine those lines sound like genuine, heart-felt praise. However, I'd certainly like to see this Pikmin guy you're talking about. Please feel free to send a link in tomorrow to enlighten us. | I told you she wears a skirt | | Drew, Does Outlook Express not format? Yet another reason to hate Microsoft I suppose. Anyway, AV is not the only gamer to lose dignity dressing up as a FF character. I also dressed up as Pikachu the next year but alas, no fuzzy pictures of that still exist. The list of things I've actually done to GET games is fairly long, and more than half of it probably would be R or plus rated. The more memorable ones (and family friendly too) include backrubs, biking 130 city blocks, and turning my entire family into a chorus of Zelda theme humming idiots. Also the aforementioned being late to my own wedding to pick up FFA. And then there's the "actually having" a new game. My entire life I've played hooky for days at a time just to finish a new game... from school, from work, whatever. I literally get plugged in. As a matter of fact, the only reason I'm taking a break from DWVII is because I'm starting to have hallucinations brought on by lack of sleep. I *heart* fatigue poisons. ~arc |
Think of this as my way of helping bolster your ego: just say the word and I'll post your email address here, to. Then I guarantee you'll have about 50 guys sending you emails begging for a date. | Make it obvious, guys | | Argggggg, yes, okay there's this person in my scupture class with long black hair, who wears lots of makeup, espeicialy around the eyes, Anyway one day they came in to the class wearing a FF8 top, and my first immediate thought was wow another female gamer. That of course was the first thing I said to them! whoa was that a mistake, for starters this person unbeknown to me was male!!! (and believe me you couldn't have guessed it) at first when the second years starting sniggering, and this person started giving me evils, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why! Anyway I kept quiet for the rest of the lesson and as soon as it ended decided to slip of into the alcove the art students hang out in, as I arrived there was no one there so I sat under the stairs and did some sketching, 5 mins later I hear the person talking to my philosophy teacher about what I said... It was at that point I realised that the guys father was my philosophy teacher!!! who I might add already had it in for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you see someone creeping around college trying to keep a low profile its probably me, -yours in abject humiliation, GEm. |
Now you know why I never kept my hair very long in school. Between my figure and my face, if I had long hair, I'm pretty sure I'd suffer the same fate as this fellow of which you speak. But don't worry too much, GEm. He should've taken some responsibility for himself: when you look girly, keep the hair short, guys. Please. For your own good. You're not less of a man for admitting to yourself the truth. | Looks like Jello | | Drew, Andrew looks an awful lot like Jello Biafra. Anyway, yeah, I have sacrificed my very personal dignity for a video game -- this summer, whenever my girlfriend would come over in the morning, I'd be playing Lunar 2. Usually, I'd pause, let her in, tell her to just chill for a sec while I finish whatever it is it was, which could take, sometimes, about an hour - her just sitting there bored and whining and me kind of ignoring her... but, heh, just once, I was so caught up in playing the game that I decided, somewhere around her third knock, that I'd rather just take the day to devote myself to kicking Zophar ass. So I just never answered the door. Despite having asked her to come over around 9:30 in the morning. Despite her living about an hour and a half away. "My alarm never went off," I said. And, when I was a kid, my friends and I would get into fights claiming we were Mortal Kombat characters. I always picked Sonya, and I'd could wrap my legs around my friend's neck and try to wrestle him to the floor. I don't know which is more embarassing. Rob |
Your tail of woe speaks for itself, so rather than doing my part as a DA by coming up with a snappy response, I instead screwed around in Photoshop to make this visual comparison:  I see the similarity. | No, no... this is definitely not a family column | | Drew, Do you think masturbating to some pretty little anime girl from Star ocean 2 is sacrificing dignity? If so Im the lowliest degenerate around. But that lead girl with the blue hair looked great in the instuction booklet. -A Sailor in Spain who's hoping this isn't a family column |
Hi, I'm Drew. I like to end my columns in the most disturbing fashion possible. Is this working for you? Closing comments: Okay, here's a weird little topic for you: considering the associated level of geekiness each possesses, you'd think Star Wars and video games would be two great tastes that invariably taste great together. Unfortunately, such has rarely proven to be the case. So I ask you: if it were up to you to make the next Star Wars game, creative control entirely yours, what would it be like? What system and why? Tomorrow Chris is back in, so let him know, okay? -Drew Cosner, the guy with the name. | | | |
