No Self-Control -
October 17, 2001 - Brooke Bolander
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed
within this column are those of the participants and the
moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the
GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive
material afoot. And the rowers keep on rowing. Don't say we didn't warn you.
What was the topic again? ....Oh yeah, people not being able to contain themselves when buying games and consoles. Right. I personally don't see the appeal in selling your kidneys just to buy a piece of shiny plastic, but then I'm not hardcore. I admit it, I'm sorry. I hope you can all forgive me.
And with Christmas coming up, money is not something flowing like wine, to put it nicely. Damn rich gamers.
| It's sweet, like candy. |
| "Why the heck do people have to have games and systems on the first day/days
they come out?"
The answer to that can be summed up in two words:
Peer pressure.
I see this every day. I see this on IRC, I see this in my e-mail, I see this
on the GIA.
The next big game is coming out soon. Here's pretty screenshots. Here, have
some music. Oh, look, over there is massive spoilers to the plot. Take a
looksee. (Well, that one doesn't happen until a few months -after- the game
comes out, or only in certain reviews, but..) Don't want the spoilers, but
you don't want to hide from everyone you know online? Simple, buy the game
and play it before they do.
As far as systems: An answer to that one can be summed up in another
question. "Why the heck do people shell out $500-1000 for new equipment for
their PCs when what they have will run any game out there on the market?"
Because people believe "newer = better". While this is occasionally true,
and widely accepted, it's still not completely well-thought out. Why buy a
PS2 when there are still some games being made for the PSX? Why buy a GBA
when GBC games are still being made? Why did those fourteen people that
bought the Jaguar actually BUY it?
Because it's newer. L337er, if I may be so rude. It's gotta be better,
right?
Ah well. Maybe it's the bitter jaded oldschooler in me talking. Dance Dance
Revolution's the only game I play on the PS2 anymore anyway.. ^_-
~SMB
|
Maybe the people who bought the 3DOs and the 32Xes and the Sega CDs saw something we did not, something we were not prepared to see. Perhaps...perhaps they could see past the shoddy outer shells, past the shite games, deep into the hearts of the plucky little underdogs. They could see the console's inner beauty, if you will. Who needs a PSX when you can play Sewer Shark?
...Naaaaaaaaaah.
Peer pressure to buy consoles, eh? That could make for some interesting public service announcements...
Little Billy : I dunno Tommy, my mom said I shouldn't play with the X-Box. She said the controller might crush me.
Microsoft Exec Dressed As Six Year Old : Aww c'mon, you know you wanna! Here, just...just hold this controller for me, okay?
Little Billy : Well...oka-AHHHH!!! My arm!!
Too true, too true. And yes, I just took another potshot at the X-Box, not because I have some sort of vendetta against it, but because it's the big dumb kid of consoles right now, and an easy target. Nyah nyah.
| The high cost of gaming. |
| Ms. Bolander,
I can't speak for everyone else, but I buy my games as soon as I can because
I've missed out on picking up certain games while the retailers were still
carrying them. The SNES Harvest Moon wound up costing me over $120 on Ebay a
while back, for example -- insanity at its finest. There have also been
other games that rarely, if ever, make an appearence on the online trading
grounds, or even the used games shelves at the local Record Exchange.
I guess what it all comes down to is, if you don't act quickly, you may have
to work a lot harder to find and spend a lot more money to get that copy of
Phantasy Star IV than you would have liked.
-Some Random Jerk
|
That is a problem, but it's more of a game problem than a console thing. You can go to any random pawn shop/thrift store/E-Bay and get an old console for fairly cheap, but when it comes to games, that's a potentially dangerous action. Those crafty hellions at Working Designs pulled a good example of this - after about a year, they announced that there would be no more copies of Lunar: SSSC being shipped out. That's it, grab it while you can, give us your money. Now it's getting harder and harder to find a copy, and Vic Ireland is probably sleeping on a mattress stuffed with bills. Well, not really, but I'm sure he's got more cash than I do.
At least Working Designs was honest about it, though, unlike some other sneaky-sneak companies. It was a calculated move that worked, and I salute them for their balls. Bravo. Um, now can I have a Nall plush guys? Pleeeease?
| The Nelson Muntz Approach. |
| Hi Brooke,
I had to have my PS2 on launch day for no other reason than spite.
Well maybe a little because of SSX, but primarily out of spite.
For months, people everywhere had been telling myself and others that
without a pre-order, there would no way in hell we would get a system.
"You won't get a system till late next year!", they snarled on message
boards around the Internet, tightly grasping their receipts which officially
made them the 253rd, or perhaps the 411th person to pre-order that
system from a local EB shop which might receive 12. I was determined
to prove them wrong... prove them all wrong... and then make fun of them.
On the morning of October 26th, I didn't camp out anywhere, I didn't stalk
mall parking lots looking to little boys with shiny blue boxes to rob, I just
casually strolled into my local Zellers (a Canadian department store)
shortly after it opened. A few minutes later I walked out with my PS2.
I was so full of glee that I couldn't inform the grandmother in front of me
in the checkout line that half the accessories she grabbed were for the
PS1, and would be utterly useless with PS2 games. Victory was about
to be mine. A victory against pre-order zealots everywhere... like my
friend who pre-ordered his months beforehand and wouldn't get "the call"
until late January.
Perhaps if Microsoft and Nintendo can actually produce a game I want
for their systems, which isn't already coming to the PS2 or PC, perhaps
I'll score another little victory this November.
Mike.
|
Well-done, well-done. Of course, you could have gone one step further and just waited until this summer, but I see what you were trying to accomplish. And really, isn't bitterly gloating over our overzealous friends what gaming is all about? Pretentiousness, I KISS YOU.
Oh and for the record, when I read this I was really expecting the elderly lady in front of you to turn around, whack you in the kneecap with a crowbar, and steal the PS2, but that didn't happen. I'm truly suprised, considering how people were acting over the damn things...
| *Sob* |
| Dear Agent (and all readers):
Stop everything you're doing right now, and check out Andrea
Hartmann's drawing in gallery one in the Sketch Artist update.
.
.
.
Good god, how does that lady get any sleep at all?
the insane bovine,
Daniel Nelson
|
I saw this before it was even up, and I'm trying really, really really hard to forget I ever clicked on the link Andrea sent. Imagine a placid, blue-haired femme calmly pecking away at her keyboard one moment, then imagine the same girl 5 minutes later, huddled twitching in a corner of the bathroom rocking back and forth. It's that scary.
Sweet Mother Of God.
Click on that at risk of sanity and sleep. Betty Doinxalot makes Baby Jesus cry.
| This is a bad land for Gods. |
| "Maybe he's just like one of those crazy Old Testament prophets and
we don't know it yet. You know, the guys who would wander around in the
desert for several years eating locusts and screaming at god? Something
like that. Only he screams at Square."
So, Square IS God! .....
Ummm...
Eww?
|
If Squaresoft is God, then I'm agnostic. And considering how badly the Final Fantasy movie did, and how bad I'm guessing the anime is going to do, God's fallen on rather hard days. So sad.
...Wait, they're releasing FFX and Kingdom Hearts, why the hell should I feel sorry for them? Pfft, forget that.
| Real Life - The Game! |
| Actually, that's what I normally do unless it's a FF or Zelda, etc. For instance, I didn't get SSX until I found a near perfect used copy for $28. I didn't get AC2 until it's "Sequel" came out, thus, the price of the original dropped. And as much as I think Okage is worth a buy after my rental, I won't get it until the price drops either. Why? Because I'm patient and it will drop. Duh.
-Scott
|
Smart lad. There's another risk no one mentioned, maybe because it's so friggin' obvious - what if the game sucks? What if the console sucks? Congratulations, you just bought a fifty to five hundred dollar paperweight. Lovely. When you look at it that way, being patient suddenly becomes a lot more appealing.
And come on people, five hundred dollars for a game system? You can buy a round-trip ticket to Europe for that much. Go outside! Take a flight, see the world! Meet people, smell flowers, knock over a small child on the sidewalk and take his lollipop - LIVE!
| Gendo Ikari : "I skipped and sang all the way over." |
| You can't just start with Second Impact and expect to
understand everything... Here is how I see it.
Warning: Complete and Total Evangelion Spoilers Ahead.
You have been warned.
First Impact:
A big rock kills all the dinosaurs back
in prehistory. (An economic crash pretty much kills
off Atari back in prehistory). Life (video games) will
never be the same.
Second Impact:
Mankind (video game industry) has
rebuilt itself, when some scientists who don’t know
what they’re dealing with (all those companies who
thought they could produce a successful video game
system) screw up big time (screw up big time). Half
the Earth’s population is killed (a majority of these
attempted systems fail miserably), and only the strong
survive (Nintendo, Sony, and to a lesser extent, Sega
survive).
Third Impact:
When an Angel (really good, almost-perfect game) gets
past the Evas (the critical game reviewers, common
sense, Devil’s Advocates, etc.) and comes into contact
with Adam (the Average Gamer’s Belief of what a
Perfect Game should be), mankind (the videogame
industry) will be reshaped (a Perfect Game shall be
realized), and cease to exist as we know it (the
Perfect Game and countless pale imitations will
dominate the market, like back in the Atari days, only
with 32-bit graphics).
Our Mission Statement:
NERV (everyone who has ever made an informed opinion
about video games) was established to prevent the
Angels (Imperfect Games) from getting to Adam (the
Idea of a Perfect Game). This is done through the use
of Evangelions (video game websites, magazines, etc.),
which can only be piloted (written) by only a select
few children (reviewers who are either lucky enough or
unfortunate enough to get the job, depending on your
point of view).
Here’s Where Things Get Iffy:
Now, while NERV (Informed Gamers) is supposedly backed
by the secret conspiratorial organization SEELE (Video
Game Developers), Gendo (Bill Gates) is actually going
rogue, and decides he wants to reshape mankind in the
image he so chooses, as opposed to SEELE’s (Bill Gates
wants to rule the Video Game Industry, and is going to
use his own idea of the Perfect Game to do it by
hopefully making the ideal platform, X-Box). Part of
how he’s done this is to clone his version of the
ideal person, Rei (Bill Gates makes X-box), which he
intends to be the vehicle to be used for Third Impact
(X-Box will be the platform on which the Perfect Game
will be realized).
The End?
Now, here’s where Third Impact comes in; SEELE is
getting impatient, so they launch a conventional
assault successful against everything but the Evas
themselves (the Game Developers flood the market with
average/crap games; these occupy people’s time), while
attempting to subdue/capture the Evas
(discredit/destroy informed gamers) with the same
conventional troops (crap games, mass-media
advertising). This doesn’t work, so they have to send
their big guns in; they launch the Eva Series (the
REALLY REALLY cool games, all of which are coming out
within a month or so of each other), in hopes of one
of them, any of them, getting to Adam (getting past
the Evas).
Hopefully, the video game industry will NOT turn out
like the endings of the series or the End of
Evangelion movie (I’m pretty sure they were officially
classified as “Alternate Endings”). Unfortunately,
given where things are leading, I’m not sure what else
could happen.
- Cecil, both proud and ashamed that he could work this
out in about half an hour.
|
Hardcore Evangelion fans scare me. Don't get me wrong, I liked the series too, but...sheesh. Now I've got this creepy image of Bill Gates with big muttonchop sideburns and glasses...ewwww, who would Yui be?
(And yes, I admit the only reason I posted that letter was because it frightened and awed me. Sorry.)
| Consoles stop for no man. |
| Brooke -
Umm..I DON'T want to buy anything opening day. The prices are way too high. I
always wait for a drop. I buy most of my systems used, got my PSX for 50 bux
2 years ago, one of the first released with BOTH a/v ports on the back, still
works beautifuly. I'll buy a game I feel worth it new, just to support the
company, like Golden Sun looks worth it.
But I think everyone should boycott these new systems untill they slash the
prices to a hundred bucks a pop. THEN I'll do some business with the
capitalistic bastards.
Oh, and a quick word to anyone who would ever stand anyone up: fuck you. It
happened to me once...I'm fine with rejection,. but getting led on and then
dropped...that sux. Oh well, people are shallow assholes. My sympathies to any gamer who has been
stood up, played with or otherwise because they were considered "nerdy."
Peace,
Ray Stryker: If Brooke is the gaming Goddess, I am her Pope. Bless you my
children. Now give me money or you go to hell.
What? It worked for THEM for 1600 years....
|
It would be nice if that worked...but as a few people have already pointed out, the companies would just write the consoles off as a bust and pull them off the shelves after six months. Which sucks, but as I always say, thaaaat's capitalism! Whaa whaaa waaaaa.
Boycotting wouldn't work either, and you know why? The companies would just laugh in our collective faces and start releasing consoles and games only in Japan, that's why. "You don't like our prices? Heh, that's fine and dandy, seeya." I also know for a fact that it would only take about three days tops before hordes of gamers cracked like walnuts and ran screaming back to the very money-munchers they were boycotting. Oh well.
| Brrrrrr, scary. |
| *Waves arms in Wayne’s World fashion*
Scene: The ‘80s. Place, Atari corporation.
What happened: Having more executive officers than actual game creation and distribution staff, someone thought it to be a good idea and make more copies of a game than there were consoles.
Long story short: ET for the Atari 2600 became the world's greatest failure, succeeding Tron and many many others like it. To this point, they actually BURIED the remaining cartridges at a landfill in New Mexico. The gamer’s elephant graveyard, if you will. The problem was the fees they paid to Lucas to produce this stinker. Those and the production cost were kind of like one of the many big bricks which came out from under the company, causing its eventual miserable failure. I’d give you much more specific details, but my copy of “Game Over” is in Texas right now. :P
Since Atari was (pretty much) the only game company around at the time (not arcade wise though) all home console games kind of vanished until the NES spread its dark tentacles across the land. About, oh, 5 years.
XZellDx – I know I left out some facts, it's been awhile since I’ve read the book, OK?
|
Remind me to never, ever ask a question about something that is most probably common knowledge among HARDCORE GAMERZ! everywhere. I now know much, much more than I ever wanted to about the Great Crash of The Early Eighties. Seriously though, thanks for the info - you guys are the BEST!
...Well, all except that one guy who called me a moron for not knowing this most important of life lessons - you're just a jerk. Expect a "visit" from my ninja fanboys in the near future.
And there's a scary thought to dwell on around October 31st. Somewhere, deep underneath the grassy, peaceful volcanic plains of New Mexico, a vast well of rotting ET carts lie. You remember what happened when someone built a house over a graveyard in Poltergeist? Yeah. As always, I'm very glad I don't live in NM.
| ...But who isn't a gamer?! |
| Surprisingly, I have special insight into this phenomenon precisely because
I don't buy games first chance I get. It's all well and good to save
a few bucks by waiting, but in the meantime all my fellow game-geek friends
have bought the latest and greatest, and now that's all they can
talk about. Guess who's suddenly outside the conversation loop? Guess who
has to stay off multiple message boards and chat rooms for fear of someone
blurting out a spoiler? Guess who stays in this state for a good six
months? Yep, yours truly.
Of course, that fact that I'm usually broke is a good (if unwillingly
imposed) reason to put up with all this, but that doesn't mean I don't feel
the pressure.
- ChocoMog ZERO, one console generation and two Final Fantasies behind schedule
|
And we come full circle to peer pressure again - sometimes people just want to fit in. I guess in that way gamers aren't much better than high school cliques. "All the cool kids have one, why can't I?"
Then there's the problem of having to sit around and listen to your friends talk about how cool it is and how long it took them to beat it and blah blah blah. Find friends who don't play games to talk to for awhile, I say. Then, when the hype has died down, come back. It's a wacky idea that just might work, trust me.
There is also a subtle joy about spending money on a loved one instead of buying games, but I'm sure most of you will just dismiss this as more of my craaaazy talk. Crazy ol' Brooke, spouting nonsense again.
| Mine's bigger than yours. |
| It all comes down to a simple case of penis envy.
DarkJodi - who has never bought a system the day it came out
|
I think this came up a few days ago in regards to the sexiest-looking console, didn't it? It's still true, though. The geek equivilent of buying a big gun.
Closing Comments:
You know, I had almost forgotten about the voice-acting in FFX until I started playing through Castlevania : SOTN and heard Alucard. Owch. So the stories were true. What if Tidus sounds like that?
So that's the topic for tomorrow - voice-acting. Is it a good thing that inhances the game, in your opinion, or are we doomed to more Star Ocean II action? Overseas developers seem to be putting more effort into getting decent voice-over actors too - is this trend going to continue? How do you think their attitudes towards US voice-acting are changing? Take a look at this!
- Brooke Bolander, who has gouged her eyes out thanks to Betty Doinxalot.
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