Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Nuclear chicken wings killed my stomach. Fear them. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Howdy, howdy. I feel like I should say something profound here, but all I can think about is that fact that it feels like it's Friday, but it's really only Wednesday. Go figure.

The main problem I see with having bars or cafes devoted to gaming is that to purchase and maintain all the equipment would be pretty expensive. From my observations in college, alcohol and video games don't mix well, and the result could be something petty like a smashed controller to an actual brawl over a game, which could result in the gaming system getting destroyed. It may not seem like that much for one instance, but if problems persist the expenses could really add up. A cafe might be a little easier to manage, but the people getting excited in front of the big screen would probably disrupt the rather tranquil atmosphere one usually finds in a cafe.

Personally, I think arcades still have a good amount of life in them, but measures do need to be taken to ensure their longevity. As you mentioned, getting a single round of a game in can be quite expensive, and you don't always get that much playtime for your money. I'd like to see a return to the good old days when all you needed was a quarter to play anything, but as long as mobs of people will pump their change into games like Marvel vs. Capcom 2, I don't think there's a chance for decreased rates.

Having missed out on Final Fantasy Tactics, I would be happy with a confirmation about a re-release. It seems pretty unlikely to me that FFT2 would be announced, since Square will probably start a big push for Final Fantasy X. They've been rather quiet about it thus far and it could undermine their efforts to promote it if the display another highly demanded sequel at the same time.

It's not like Sony is doing the translation again. Just remove a limb or two, ok?

Having watched a lot of Tom Green in the past, I can honestly say that the show is completely void of any form of intellectual stimulation. Don't get me wrong, it's entertaining, but you won't come away with it having learned anything. Then again, that's the whole purpose of the show: to provide a half hour or entertainment in which you don't have to think. The show is capable of providing somewhat educational material (as seen in the special about his testicular cancer), but the majority of viewers would probably turn away from it had the majority of the episodes not relied on totally random and obscene gestures.

RPGs, on the other hand, require at least a small amount of thought while playing through them. Even if you're just traveling through a dungeon, you still need to use a bit of strategy to maintain decent health and solve any puzzles that may present themselves along the way. Either that, or you could just load up on potions and ethers and run around until you happen to find the right path. Even then, though, your thinking up a strategy for how to tackle the problem.

And I don't care what sort of divine state you're in, wake and bake is not cool.

Ed basically hits the bull's eye here. Just because a person could do something doesn't mean they will, and sadly, given the choice between a good book and a mind numbing sitcom, the average person is probably going to go for the full frontal lobotomy and use the book to prop up their TV stand.

1. A little ridiculous, yes, but how often does the industry really make sense? I mean, we've had three Army Men games released this month for the PlayStation 2 alone. It may be a popular franchise, but three games in such a short span is overkill. As for the Square/Namco thing, my little theory is that it's a byproduct of the stock swapping between Square, Namco, and Enix. If they're out to cut costs on game development, I see no reason why they wouldn't merge teams for some projects.

2. I thought Soul Caliber was a blast, and despite the fact that Chrono Cross can be perceived as one of the largest side quests ever, it's still considered a sequel.

3. While I suppose it's possible that we could have made up Xenosaga, I doubt GameSpot and IGNPS2 would have both covered it, too. Yes, GameSpot took the bait for Funky Fantasy, but it's a little easier to falsify a magazine report than it is an entire game that's supposedly on display at one of the biggest conventions of the year.

4. You make it sound like it's a bad thing.

Chrono Trigger supposedly had a decent transition onto the PlayStation, so it should be fine. Final Fantasy 4 came out in worse shape, and aside from the new translation Square has planned for it, I don't think they plan to improve the port at all. It's a shame, but something I'm not too concerned with since all I really want is Chrono Trigger.

Don't worry; I don't plan on assigning any big essays or anything... unless you all misbehave. Don't think I haven't noticed that you've all been inching your desks closer and closer to the front of the room.

Closing Comments:

Speaking of assignments, here's you're topic for tomorrow. Retail stores including Best Buy, Electronics Boutique, and Toys R Us have been putting Game Boy Advances display units up that have met with some mixed results from people who tried them out, mostly over the actual size of the system. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to venture out to one of these stores and test the system for yourselves, then report back with your thoughts. Simple enough, isn't it?

Alex Annis, about to self destruct in 5, 4, 3...