Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I hope Madonna keeps shooting videos with lots of gunplay, that way whatever happened to Bruce Lee's kid might happen to her too. Don't say we didn't warn you.

It's good to be back for a weekend stint as Double Agent, especially with such a lively topic to work with. And since yesterday was my birthday, what better present could I ask for than some quality time with our best readers?

I hope everyone enjoyed Chris's one year anniversary last week, as he's done a fantastic job with what is a very, very difficult task.

But enough intra-site backslapping, let's have ourselves a good ol' fashioned bitchfest!

They're probably thinking "hey, let's stay in business!"

I hate to say this, but you should be happy we even got Eternal Punishment. Yes, they're innovative and unique games, but you can't go to the bank and deposit innovation and uniqueness. Atlus may “know how many fans are out there,” but when they say future decisions will be based off sales, they judge by the more important number – how many customers are out there.

The business end of any creative enterprise is always an unwelcome intrusion, but unless you're an 800-pound industry gorilla, you can't just shove a game down the market's throat without the name brands and the mainstream recognition they bring. Even then, it's difficult. Just ask Nintendo why Perfect Dark sold less than a third of what GoldenEye did in the U.S.

We at the GIA greatly appreciate every chance a company like Atlus takes on a game like Persona, and strongly encourage them to take more. But if they take too many financial chances, there won't be an Atlus around to localize anything.

I've never played Radiant Silvergun. Hell, I've never owned a Sega system, much less cared about games that didn't come out in the states for one. But I do know that RS has a good reputation, if only due to the merciless sermonizing its fans do.

In fact, it's the kind of merciless sermonizing that usually creates a backlash. *cough*

Hold on while I give any Radiant Silvergun fans reading the column a chance to stop dry heaving.

I usually defer to people who know magnitudes more about something than me, especially if they make obscure references designed for instant credibility (Sokyogurawhat?). But you seem quite suspicious in your zeal to condemn people for their zealousness.

Let's stipulate for a second that you're right, and RS is a giant steaming turd unjustly worshipped as a great game. So what? The game lacked a powerful enough constituency to be localized, so I doubt that many people actually liked it, just that those who do are enthusiastic. Another problem is that many of those fans probably know as much about obscure shooters as anyone, including you.

I get a fair amount of shit among GIA staffers for lacking an iota of interest in Metal Gear Solid 2, but that doesn't mean I try to dampen their interest, just tell them why I'm not interested myself. You'll save yourself some headache if you just lay out specific factual reasons for your opinion – I thought the first game was melodramatic, I don't like mullets, whatever – instead of acting like a lone prophet wandering the desert trying to convert the infidels.

Besides, if the game inspires opinions this passionate, there must be something noteworthy about it. If I were you, I'd just blame GameFan for everything and move on with my life.

Well done. Those were specific, concrete reasons why the lack of localization was a bad thing.

It does seem odd to bring part one of a trilogy over and then ignore the latter two, but the Saturn was dying and those titles sound like a pricey project. Unfortunately, this may be one of those “be happy you got something” situations, especially considering Sega's circumstances at the time. Sega has been fairly fan-friendly in both the games they develop and bringing them out here, despite some serious oversights, most notably the entire Sakura Taisen series.

And I'm all for strangling Bernie Stolar on general principle, along with the guy who came up with Sonic Shuffle and a long, long list of others.

Mike gets serious brownie points with me for mentioning what is by far my largest disappointment: the Fire Emblem series. Nintendo has shown themselves immensely talented in every genre they've tried, from platformers to racing to RPGs, yet their flagship RPG series has never made it out here. Intelligent Systems has been responsible for games from Excitebike to the Metroid series, which is alone enough to set virtually gamer drooling. Fire Emblem 64 crashed and burned and a PSX version is in some sort of development, though I don't know how the name/copyright/staffer issues have been happening.

Nintendo seriously and massively dropped the ball here, and Square deserves all the credit in the world for pushing RPGs with the gusto they did here in the states. But they had a very good reason – it's all they do well.

Companies like Nintendo and Sega could afford to be lazy about translating RPGs because they had other blockbuster titles to fall back on in those days. Square has only one genre in which they have distinguished themselves and had no choice but to try and open up new markets for it. The fact we're discussing a relative handful of games, virtually all from the pre-PSX era, is a testament to just how well they did that.

You certainly have an ally in the whole “liking rare games because it's l33t to do so” theory with our RS-hating friend, but not buying games because you only want them coming over on principle may just lead to a game you do want never coming over at all. It's definitely shortsighted.

Take one for the team occasionally!

Nice sentiment, but the argument just doesn't match the lunatic energy of the game enough.

Try this next time:

Then import him. This isn't exactly a game in that the language barrier presents a serious problem, especially considering that the truly insane original Japanese soundtrack would have probably been tamed somehow in a U.S. version. Get yourself a mod chip and you'll have all the dancing crack rabbit you could ever possibly need.

In the meantime, take this WinAmp skin instead, courtesy of our own Dancing Crack Fraundorf.

This is the best of the many SD3 letters I got, mainly because it managed to blame a whole bunch of stuff on Secret of Evermore. I own the game, and while it isn't a classic, I found it diverting enough, especially all the trading in the markets. But I didn't worship Secret of Mana, so maybe my whole "Secret of" judging abilities are shot.

Your two choices aren't the best way to present the situation, by the way. It wasn't about having enough money to do one or the other, but about which would bring a greater return on the investment. Square figured a U.S.-developed game would make the genre more accessible, but they forgot that what drew in most RPG fans of that era happened to be some of the more Japanese qualities of the games. Oops.

A better explanation is that Square rushed their U.S. development into producing original product without the proper training. Nintendo's new U.S. house, NST, has done a number of ports and updates before they'll venture into a completely original title. This means they'll have a firm grasp on what makes quality software from a variety of standpoints before doing so, and probably guarantees a much better end result.

This was just too level-headed and informative not to print.

Kinda makes the rest of this column seem terribly petty, doesn't it? Not that you'd ever find me busy playing Lunar 2.

Closing Comments:

What the hell happened? Did somebody fire all the scenario writers and level designers when they brought on new artists? I can see why Metal Gear Solid games are so short, as they're more story than gameplay, but I'd expect more than 3 hours from giant flying and fighting robots.

I don't care if ice cubes melt realistically, I don't care if I can see fluid running through a robot's tubes, and I don't care if I can play back through a game in a panda suit. I want more first-play value, and I'm not getting it. Does this trend bother anyone else?

Tell me.

-Ed McGlothlin, hoping you got your money's worth