Double Agent
The future as you see fit - February 4th, 2000 - Drew Cosner

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Stuff so offensive, the ferris wheel was painted green. Don't say we didn't warn you.


I've got nothing to say here. At all. Seriously. Sorry.

For those of us keep track

>Lunar 2 the last PS One game? Soulless wretch...you've forgotten Megaman X5, >shipping as I type this. Being the ONLY game I've been looking forward to for quite some >time, the carelessness of your omission can only be righted by a sledge hammer to your >thumbs. >Snort. >SonicPanda

Ehh......both of you are wrong. The latest game coming out for PS1 (that I know of) is Dance Dance Revolution, coming in March....this is one of my favorite games, how dare you forget about it!

But seriously, if I have my released dates right (and not counting TBA release date titles), Time Crisis: Project Titan would be the last one, coming in June.)

*grabs sledge hammer from SonicPanda* *starts aiming*

-CuBEz


For all of you who really care what the last PSX game is, here you go. Don't go saying this column isn't informative.

I feel the urge to scratch the itch

DC,

By creative, you obviously mean something so far-fetched that there's no actual real chance of it ever happening, just so you laugh at the writer's inability of finding something more productive to do with their time than to write a letter columnist who's only going to berate and belittle their precious idea anyway. Nice try, Cosner. Maybe YOU should be a little more creative next time.

...

...

I think this is a sign that I've been reading your columns for far too long.

-Red Raven, the itch that can't be scratched


Actually, when I said "be creative," I was trying to discourage people from writing obvious forecasts with only minimal alterations. For example, "If I were in charge of the gaming industry, I'd make it so that all survival horror games don't have that lame control scheme!" Yes, I too would like to see that control scheme done away with, but that's insipid and about as funny as the comic strips that come on the inside of Bazooka Joe wrappers. And if you haven't caught on already, the entire reason I have people send me letters is not so I can put together a thought-provoking column with insightful replies, but so that I can get a laugh. This isn't about you; it's about me.

Of course, I was also trying to discourage this from happening:

...and a-one

Which direction would I steer the gaming industry? It can be summed up in thrre words:

Full Frontal Nudity

Nuff said.

H-Box (I am nude right now.)

...and a-two

If you could choose the direction the gaming industry would take from this moment forward, how would you direct it?

I'd have it so that there would be at least one naked woman in every console game. I'm serious.

-Lee Meador, Holy Whore

...and a-three

Drew I'm not going to lie to you man. If I was in full control of the video game market, you'd likely see nothing but hardcore porn in about 2 years. Not only that, but I could justify it by saying its all an elaborate maneuver to make the industry more mature, and thus receive more respect. We all know porn gets respect and being mature consists of deciding which animal gets lucky on any given day. Then I'd pocket all of the money horny old men would spend on my games, and run off to Russian where my fancy American dollars could purchase damn near the entire country. Russia in hand, I'd stop the black market sale of nuclear weaponry just for press. There'd be a big parade, and I'd do something stupid like march all the nukes through downtown Moscow before attempting to light them on fire, symbolically destroying Russia's EVIL past, thus making myself a worldwide icon. Of course, lighting nukes on fire would actually just take the "symbolically" and "EVIL past" out of the previous sentence, and replace the word "icon" with the words "wanted criminal". So basically, if I controlled the gaming industry, we'd all be dead within 5 years.


If you guys don't knock this crap off, I swear we'll start sticking up homoerotic pictures in Sketch Artist again. Don't test me.

Too bad CrateMaster isn't multiplayer

Better multiplayer implementations, for every genre.

Now that broadband access is more available than not (okay, it's still a little pricey, but look at how fast computers got cheap), publishers ought to start figuring out ways to make that broadband work for them. EA Sports games where every player is human-controlled. Online RPGs done right, with the funding and talent given to games like Final Fantasy. (Didn't you ever want to see whether your FF7 party could trounce your buddy's?) Gran Tourismo World, where human players compete directly with each other for national rankings.

I played single-player Doom for about a month, and then I managed to get a multi-player game going. And since then I've only finished about three games, because the rest of my time has been spent playing against OTHER PEOPLE.

-Mike Powers


I'd personally like to see games where the multiplayer implementation is done well, but isn't the sole focus of the title. Online-only games get to be a bore real quick, but if there were more games like Perfect Dark that were fun on and offline, I'd be a happy camper.

I hate you!

What direction the game industry would take from this moment onward?

Sorry Drew, that would be telling.

Richard "KZ" Knight


I keep stealing Richard's time-travelling wristwatch, but then he just goes back in time and stops me from stealing it. Then his future self and past self have to add insult to injury by making out with each other while I lie on the ground with a fist print on my face. It's so unfair.

I bet you never get tired of this argument

The RPG developers have swished their KOOL-AID between their cheeks for the last time! I'm turning the RPG genre around and we're going home right now!

I would immediately reverse the trend towards RPGs being interactive movies. I believe the major cornerstone of RPGs and all videogames is player involvement, and every year the player's involvement gets eroded away more and more. After a strict console-RPG diet, I picked up a copy of Fallout 2 and was glued to my monitor all night. What did Interplay, with less than one tenth the budget of a big Square RPG, manage to put into Fallout 2 that compelled me enough to play it all night, sleep 2 hours and then get up and play it some more?

For the first time in a long time, I felt truly involved in an RPG. As developers have added more and more storyline to RPGs, it hardly seems like it's MY quest anymore. Why even bother PLAYING anymore? The actual RPG gameplay is quite boring if you think about it. Select a command from a menu and watch the character do it. Go from point A to point B. Play a card game.

I think more and more control will get people more into the games. Sales of RPGs that are movie-like and uninvolving are growing, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't grow also if RPGs were different.

It can be a happy compromise... many PC RPGs have too much freedom, so story and characters take a back seat. FF6 was a great cross between story and player involvement. You had a main storyline to follow, and selected anyone from a group of 16 characters to have in your party. The forcing of characters down your throat like FF8 did can alienate the player if they don't like the character they are given. Choices and options, without adding too much freedom or eliminating too much story is the way RPGs should be. Nobody will pay $50 to watch a movie.


I have to be honest: I'm tired of people bringing up Fallout 2 every freaking time they want to point to an RPG that "gets it right." It's a decent game, sure, but if I wanted to play PC RPGs I would.

As I've said before, console RPGs are absolutely a matter of the whole being more than the sum of the parts, and strong narrative is one of the parts I enjoy most. If anything, I'd like the plotlines to stay as strong as they are now, with a little extra gameplay thrown in. I don't know where people got this idea that more gameplay equals out to less story and vice versa.

I see him up at the arcade all the time

hey drew...

So I was in College Mall here in Bloomington, Indiana on Wednesday afternoon, on my way to Software Etc to pick up my copy of Phantasy Star Online when I felt a sudden strange presence. Well, maybe I felt a strange presence, maybe I didn't. Who cares either way?

Anyway, the Software Etc in College Mall is located right across the hall from a Victoria's Secret. As I sensed this aforementioned "Strange Presence," I looked to my left, toward the Software Etc. And what did I see?

A group of about nine or ten Tibetan monks, all wearing orange robes, red coats, and brown leather sandals. All around eighty years of age, all bald. Standing amidst them was a more well-dressed Tibetan man of about fifty, whom I recognized, and standing next to him was another man dressed the same as the other monks, except he appeared slightly younger. And he was wearing black horn-rimmed glasses. And carrying a big bag from B. Daulton bookstore.

I looked him right in the eye, for a noticable second, and as I did this, he looked at me and smiled. He nodded to me, and I nodded back.

It was the Dalai Lama, shopping at my mall with an entourage of nine or ten monks and his younger brother.

I could go into details, explaining exactly how it was possible (and probable) that I run into the Dalai Lama at College Mall in Bloomington, Indiana, just a few blocks outside of the Indiana University campus, though, well, I would rather comment on the fact that I shook of my encounter rather quickly in the name of childish excitement about buying Phantasy Star Online. Even being the avid reader of articles concerning Tibetan studies that I am, nothing beats a new RPG, nor an online one at that.

So I bought PSO and a new, official Sega 4X memory card, both for a "dead" system. I was pleasantly surprised to see that a Sonic Adventure 2 demo was included. I went home and played them before my Chinese film class. I had fun. PSO is hard as hell.

Just today, playing Skies of Arcadia again, I realized, "I saw the Dalai Lama, at the mall."

Just one of the things videogames can do to you. Imagine how complicated my life would become with drugs and/or alcohol. I think this one little addiction is to RPGs is enough. Spread the word, eh?

--tim rogers


While I have to question your Dalai Lama story, I appreciate the spirit of your letter. End of thought. Proceed to next letter.

Lookin' good

Yo Drew,

I think that this is really easy. First, I'd make it so that there is only one console. This can only help the gamer, as they won't have to have one system for Zelda, one for Metal Gear, and one for Sonic Team stuff. Then I'd make sure that by penalty of capital punishment, no Tomb Raider, wrestling, or Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen games could be produced.

Ah...utopia...

--The Steve


Sounds like a good plan to me.

Closing comments:

Tomorrow Chris is in, as per custom. You can send him mail by clicking here. Or you can click the link that says "Chris" in the sentence before last. Or you can click that one. Or you can click where I wrote "click that one." You can even click my name, because it's really just a link to Chris's mailbox.

-Drew Cosner, long-lost Wonder Triplet

 
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