Double Agent
And it freshens your breath, too - October 8, 2000 - Andrew Kaufmann

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. P. Don't say we didn't warn you.

I couldn't think of an intro, so I went to Andrew Vestal to give me one. And he came through in a major way!

"Mints are a good way for people who don't smoke to meet each other. If you ever watch movies, you'll realize that smokers have it made when it comes to initiating social contact. Lend someone a cigarette, give 'em a light; hell, give 'em a cig AND a light and you're set for the evening.

"Meanwhile non-smokers sit around, lonely, trying to figure out how to bridge the awkward silence that separates them. So bring a box of Altoids with you wherever you go! Everyone likes mints, and they actually make your breath smell *better*, meaning you'll have more of a chance after the initial mooching period has passed."

Brilliant, isn't he?

Graphics aren't so bad

I seem to be a graphics whore, so what the heck, I WILL get grandia 2 after all.

DCB, who needs to buy a DC first

Grandia 2 is looking pretty swank, man. Nothing wrong with being a graphics whore. I like graphics, too. I didn't play much of the original Grandia, but I'm hearing good things about the second installment.

Corrected

Just a note here Amano didn't make the "cool and sly" Locke into a leather clad prostitute. Square made a leather clad prostitute into the cool and sly Locke.

True, true, you are very correct. I guess what I meant, but didn't actually say, is that my perception was changed by Amano, since I played the game before I saw the artwork. I didn't say that though. I biffed. My bad. I still give Amano props though for pretty cool artwork, if... weird.

A busy day for many

Yo AK,

I've got a simple question. October 26th. Are you getting a PS2, Zelda, or both?

My total videogames related expenses will be topping $500 that day. Ugh...

--The Steve

Actually, believe it or not, I'm getting neither. I sold my Nintendo 64 ages ago, and I'm not going to be getting a PS2 at launch. Not enough money, and not enough games that interest me at launch to make me want to really work hard to get the money. Everyone will be having fun that day, but to me, it'll just be another day... I'm jealous!

Sci-fi? Fantasy? Again?

Originally, I wasn't going to send this in...but then I thought to myself, "eh...what the hell. I got a few minutes to kill and I'm getting tired of all the bitching". Thusly, here I am.

Anyway, even though I haven't really given a shit about video games since the early 90s, I'm writing in about the Final Fantasy games of latter day lore. Now, I don't want to hear anything about how I suck because I'm defending the latter games...because I'm not defending them. I thought FFVIII was total trash. I also want to hear nothing because I'm "biased against the true hard core fantasy spirit yo!"...because FFIX looks great to me. But for a different reason...

Yet I stray from my point. I'll begin with FFVII. I loved the game. It was not godly, it had the same crappy battle system as the previous sextuplet...but still. I did like the game. It was fantasy as well, mind you. Yes, there were air planes and cars and big machines and space shuttles and the like...so traditional fantasy it is not. But between you and me, traditional fantasy is shit. It's so uncreative nowadays that it's hard to find some good traditional fantasy.

As for FFVIII...well, it had even more futuristic gizmos in it...and sometimes the "magic" could be scientifically explained, but other than this, it was still fantasy. You still have your big bull looking fire gods and your naked blue ice goddesses.

And finally, onto FFIX. The game looks beyong great to me at this point. Why? Because it's "returning to the original old school hard core spirit"? Well, no. Not at all. "Why else could this game look so fantastic to him?", you say? Because the character designs were done by Jesus Christ, or as some know him Amano Yoshitaka. Amano did the designs for the best game in the series, FFVI(which also had alot of futuristic machines and mechs and the like but I didn't see anyone bitching there!).

Anyway, I can see Kaufmann waving the "no-no" finger and mouthing what looks like "get the hell off the stage you dumb"--oh correction "you bum". So I will bid you all goodbye! Now uh...can someone play designated driver?

-Ven

Hey man, I'm not going to call you names! In fact, I almost agree with you. I think Amano's character designs usually translate well into games, even if I think they're weird in print. I think FFVI was pretty darn awesome too, and I loved the characters.

I'm slowly developing a new take on the old sci-fi vs. fantasy thing. I think I've been wanting a return to a fantasy because I like what Square did in the games with that setting. But I think it's less about the setting and more about what's done within the setting. I think old-style fantasy is more "charming," but I don't require charm in a good game. It's about what you do within the setting. I think that's my new mantra.

PS2 or Dreamcast?

AK

The age old question: should I buy a DC right now, which has Grandia II, Shenmue, Eternal Arcadia, and the numerous other non-RPG's that have graced the system, or should I wait for the more expensive, guaranteed to have more games than the population of some small third-world countries, PS2?

-Agent X "that's one helluva sentence!"

Mmm mmm. If getting a Dreamcast would preclude you from ever getting a PS2, then I'd say wait for the PS2. But, if getting a Dreamcast only precludes you from getting a PS2 at launch, I might just go after the Dreamcast. The PS2's RPG library is going to be pretty slim for a while, while the Dreamcast's RPG library will likely be hitting its peak. If you can swing getting both in the long run with an immediate DC buy, I'd go for that option. But if a DC means no PS2 ever, then I'd exercise patience.

An old, crazy picture

I've been forced to watch SNL reruns while waiting for you to put up the new DA.

DCB, up too late again

Ps. Is this pic really you? (attachment follows)
PPs. My new favorite song is Sheep go to Heaven, I don't know why.
PPPs. i'd be funny if you put up the new colum while I was typing this.
PPPPs. no, it wouldn't.
PPPPPs. I'm not sleeping untill you post todays/yesterdays/tomorows colum.
PPPPPPs. you better put this up, or I'll tell the great Mr. Stipe all about
your plans to kill, and then switch places with Peter.
PPPPPPPs. oh yeah, I like bagels too.

Ah yes. The guy in the background of this picture is definetely me, back in my bleach blonde days (you can see my black roots coming in. That black thing in my arms is my favorite guitar, my Rickenbacker 330. The pic is a one that Brian Glick skillfully doctored on a feature article about where the GIA staff will be in 10 years.

Uhoh... not sleeping until I put the column? Sorry if causing you to lose some sleep... it's 4:15 and I'm not quite done yet. Sorry!

Closing Comments:

Tomorrow is Chris time again. Take care!

-Andrew Kaufmann

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Chris thinks that email is the greatest invention since the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Grillin' Machine. Don't try to tell him that email came first.
DA FAQ is here. It really is Chris' thing, and doesn't really apply to days that AK hosts, but is great reading nonetheless. And this link really looks cool, so I don't want to delete it just because I don't use the same rules.