You upset me, sir - August 18th, 2000 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. English as a second fucking language. Don't say that I didn't warn you.
Look, I'm not going to lie to you: introductions are for losers. Losers who are so insecure in themselves and their abilities, they feel they need to re-establish their wit on a daily basis. I've just been playing along to placate all of you. But not today. Today I go for the gusto.
| I can't believe I'm answering letters like this when I could be playing Chrono Cross |
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Yet RPG fans will pick apart a solid title on the grounds of its
characters, story line, artwork, battle engine, and backdrop -- amongst
other things. Can't you people ever be happy?
Well, well. I think some people could very well be categorized as this.
Let's see...oh yeah, their names were Andrew Vestal and Nich Maragos.
I don't see what their problem with Legend of Dragoon is. They seem to
hate every aspect of the game, and never look at anything good about it.
For them I guess 'If it's not Final Fantasy, then I don't like it' holds
true. Maybe they didn't even play past the first disk. If that were the
case, they would find the game much more interesting in its later stages.
Now, they also complained about the graphics. Sure, they weren't
anything amazing, but if you think about it, the game was started 3 years
ago, and the engine would have to be at least 2 years old, making the
game somewhat graphically dated. Even though, I still think they were
above average.
Also, for the battle system. One word for it: UNIQUE. Maybe Andrew and
Nich have a fetish for 'regular' battles. Looking at LoD's battle system
though, I for one saw it as interesting. The battles took longer, but I
never spent the 'Oh half the battle you'll be guarding' technique. Well,
Andrew and Nich can have their old systems; I for one, want new ones.
The story line wasn't horrible either, nor was it a cliche. It was
fresh, interesting, and had many twists and turns. I never expected MF
to take over Z and use S as the means to awaken the VE so he could meld
himself with the it. (Names shortened to get rid of spoilers).
Last point: It was Sony's first attempt at creating their own RPG. Give
them some credit. I'd like to see you guys pull that off on your first
try.
Enough ranting, This letter's long enough.
-Carnicerae
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Look, I'm only printing this shit on the grounds of volume -- I must get at least 4 letters each day ranting about Nich or Andrew's dislike of Legend of Dragoon. Chris must be ready to tear out his own eyeballs with the slender end of a carpentry hammer by now. Nich fully justified his feelings towards LoD within the body of his review; no one's asking you to agree with the points he makes, just that you accept their validity.
But let's break this down a bit. First of all, just because a battle system is unique doesn't necessarily mean it's good. There's not a correlation there. What I especially like is your suggestion that Nich was unimpressed by LoD's battle setup because he is adverse to change. Perhaps you didn't notice his Chrono Cross review, where he sings the praises of the unique battle system at length. As someone who knows him, I can tell you that he's always been a major proponent of advancement in the genre.
Additionally, While Nich does make mention of the dated graphical engine, it's hardly the focus of his review. As an example, he's a very big fan of Symphony of the Night, and it wasn't exactly known for having state-of-the-art visuals.
Finally, as one who hasn't played LoD extensively enough to pass his own judgement on the storyline, I'll move on to address your final comment. LoD was only Sony's first attempt at making an RPG because the company saw a ripe market they felt they could cash in on. When deciding to make a game, a company should do so because they feel they have a unique take on the genre, or some ideas that haven't been done before. A company shouldn't say, "hey, these games are pretty popular, let's just jock off the biggest franchise to pick up a few bucks." It's this kind of me-too rationality that saturates the gaming market with mediocre garbage, and I'm not going to tolerate it simply because it's a company's first effort.
Just as an example to anyone else who would to waste my time or Chris's time with letters bitching about another staff member's reviews, I'm pulling out a new award. I call it the Shut the Hell up Award. Congratulations, Carnicerae: you're the lucky, lucky person who gets to be the very first recipient. It's not quite as good as drinking from the firehose, but I guess it will have to do.
Remember, the Shut the Hell Up award wants you to shut the hell up, asshole.
| They may get the crack rabbit, but they don't get Lucky Dan |
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It DOES suck that Americans won't be getting Vibri and his 1.5D world, but
there's something infinitely crueller happenning to Europeans. Squaresoft
decided against localizing Chrono Cross for Europe because of some
translation problems. Think about it: no Chrono Cross. Kick... in... the...
TEETH.
-John Mora
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Talk about putting things into perspective. I think in dealing with the anger, your own rational course of action is to blame all of this on Germany. Germany and their damned anti-blood-in-video-games laws. We here in North America can blame all of our woes on Canada, and you guys get Germany. That's just the way it works.
| Nerd to the bone |
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Why are RPGers so f***ed up? You have to ask?!? Isn't it obvious? RPGers have more intelligence than any other gamer, it's practically a proven fact. Take a poll of fighting game players and then poll RPG players, then compare their IQ's. What did you find? The RPGers come out far ahead in nearly instance. Any exceptions you find are the result of graphics whores jumping on the bandwagon. We are smart as hell. That is exactly the reason why we pick apart every game that comes in. All highly intelligent people strive for perfection, so therefore we want perfection in the games we play. We enjoy "old school" games because they remind us of a time gone by. We enjoy complacency because it allows us to stay on top of our lives without worrying about becoming behind in the technology or popular opinion of our genere. Don't believe me? With all the honor classes and/or high-level jobs we take, we have very little time for games (except for weekends). So when we have time, the games we want to play are behind cutting edge. So, when the next game that comes out is also behind cutting edge, we don't notice or care.
Why, then, do we clamor for delayed, dated, and probably crappy games (yes, I just insulted DQVII)? Because the game wasn't delayed, dated, or crappy looking when we heard of it last. (Now, though, thanks to places like the GIA, this is becoming less of a problem. And, low and behold, RPGs are catching up to the cutting edge.) So, we still want the game that sounded cool, back then.
And to finalize my point, I really want to say, I am pretty much proclaiming myself a nerd. And you know what? I don't care. If I can play RPGs as a nerd, then I'm all for it. Plus, I'm calling all RPGers nerds. And guess what? Most of them are (Sorry, guys. It's true.). The only popular/ sport (football, basketball, baseball) playing RPGers are graphic whores. Ha! There I've said it. Now I'm done.
-Rayeth
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Wow, talk about the aggrandizement of perceived mental abilities. I have friends who are fans of other genres that are extremely intelligent, interesting individuals. I'm impressed that you're able to make such broad generalizations without proper evidence, as that's something I always encourage, but I think I'd have to disagree with you there. Also, I know quite a few fans of RPGs who are also into other genres; even sports and (gasp) fighting games.
As for being nerds, this has always been my thought: anyone who enjoys the escape from reality afforded by video games as much as we do has to have something a bit wrong with them.
| Single-sentence replies are the best |
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Drew,
I have a somewhat simple answer for why rpg fans are so damn critical of their genre. Everyone wants to be "hardcore", in other words, they want to appear or sound like an expert. they (me too sometimes) look down on anything "mainstream" and go for anything on the outside of it so they can say they are different and intelligent. well, feel free to make fun of me if you want.
Lurch (yes that one)
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Again, it's a bit sad that when choosing an area of self-proclaimed expertise, people will make that area RPGs.
| I've found that simply saying "go to hell" when they're mid-sentence works, too |
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Dear sirs,
Stop picking apart videogames or legal action will be taken.
That should end that debate.
-Masami Eiri
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I've noticed that the threat of legal action puts an end to many unwanted things. Conversations, for example.
| Back-up non-vocals |
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Drew,
I've been reading your columns since you wrote columns on RPGamer waaaaay
back when, but this is the first time I've ever written a letter. Y'know
why? Because I'm a *CONTENT* RPG player! Gasp! I bet you didn't even
know that our kind existed! I've enjoyed just about every RPG I've ever
played, so I've never felt the need to write into a column and complain
about how feature X of RPG Y sucked. I like some RPGs more than others,
off course, but I get at least some enjoyment out of just about every one
I play. I think there are a whole slew of content RPG players just like
me who always *read* these columns, but never bother *writing* in to the
columns, just because a letter of praise for a game is a lot less likely
to get printed and is just not as interesting to read as a letter that
rips a game apart. So, for every Ian P., J. Parish, The Steve, Princess
Jemmy, and all the other regular letter writers, there are a whole
buttload of content, less vocal RPG players out there reading your column.
We play games to enjoy them, not pick them apart. So, before you write
off RPG players as complainers and whiners, think about us, the non-vocal
(probably) majority. Exactly what is the ratio of number of letters
written per day to number of hits the page gets per day?
-Brad B.
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Yeah, an excellent point. People are more apt to express feelings of anger, hatred, or anything else negative than they are to express their contentment. Now you know why I regularly pick topics that are intended to piss people off. People are willing to wipe the potato chip grease from their fingers and fire up their email client to let me know why I'm wrong. Not so when they feel I'm correct. And frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I hate obsequious letters of accolade, anyhow. They make me feel dirty.
| Yet another shoddy translation |
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Gah! I just got Chrono Cross, and while it's one of the best games I've ever played, the manual isn't in color! That just ruined the entire game for me. Thank you, Square, for yet another dud.
-Lord Brian
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You think that's bad? Get this: at one point, Korcha says "your" when he should have said "yours." This translation sucks. What a piece of trash. You'd think Square would at least put some effort into their games.
| Are you trying to get me beat up? |
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Please note: Purses aren't called "purses" anymore. They are called
"European Carry-Alls." I trust you to update your lexicon accordingly.
Thank you.
I am,
Jim Loffredo
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Dude, all of my friends would totally begin to question my manhood if I started calling my purse a "European carry-all."
| Thanks, Mister! Thanks a lot! |
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DA Drew,
print this, respond with "...", post, play Chrono Cross. Time saver? Damn right.
-James "ChuckMan" Thorne
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See, now why can't the rest of you be this thoughtful? Thanks, Jimmy. And you get your wish. All that's left is to specify a topic, and it's back to Chrono Cross for me. The fact that I'm on 8 hours of sleep for the past 2 days is no excuse to stop playing now. Oh, and here you go:
"..."
Closing Comments:
Initially I wanted to put forth a nice Chrono Cross topic for the lot of you to ponder -- capitalize on the current RPG zeitgeist, and all. Then I remembered that I'm about 12 hours into the game myself, and I'd rather not have vital plot points ruined by either those who don't have jobs and have gotten much further than I, or the people who imported it months ago.
Although, admittedly, I do kind of get a kick out of the hate mail people will send me after they read letters that are clearly marked as being spoilers. I swear I could find a way to embed road flares into html files to use as markers, and I would still get a few hostile letters. Hosting is fun.
So here's another topic: what do you think of this whole "digital actress" thing? Is this the future of cinema? Just a cheap novelty? Let me know what you think, all right?
-Drew-om Cooosner
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