Column written under the influence of cartoons - April
21st, 2000 - Chris Jones
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of
the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There
is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. It's me that's here the now,
AND I'VE GOT MY ROCKET LAUNCHER! Don't say we didn't warn you.
I got the day off, so instead of writing today's column at my desk after hours, I'm
writing it in the middle of the afternoon laying flat on my ass on my insanely comfortable
couch. (Laptops rule.) Frankly, I'm interested to see if this will cause any appreciable
difference in my writing style. The Animaniacs in the background may have some influence
as well.
Onward.
| He was an artificial being, but didn't even
know it |
| No reason to write today. So... I have five bucks riding on a bet that
you're actually a sophisticated auto-response application with a small team of Microsoft
industry analysts who use this column as a basis for corporate decisions in the console
market. For instance, my guess is that they're currently checking your letters to see
whether "X-Box," "X-box," or "Satan" is the preferred
spelling in the gaming community. Seriously, five bucks, help me out here. ~Stefano
This message is brought to you by a dire need for that five bucks. |
It's entirely possible that I was created by Mr. Bill and don't know it, I guess, but
the same thing could be said of anyone. So sorry, but as best as I'm aware, I'm not
associated with Microsoft in any way, shape or form. You lose.
You might bet your friend double or nothing that Pokemon will continue to be marketed
ad nauseaum, if he's dumb enough to take the wager.
| He disagrees strongly. No, STRONGLY!!! |
| I disagree strongly with the idea that playing SNES or other old games on
a computer is somehow 'less' fun than playing them on a TV. I've been playing a lot of
SNES games that I never had access to earlier via emulation (shame on me), and personally
many of the latest added features (graphical enhancement to make it look as nice as on a
TV screen, speed ups to zip past Xenogears-moments, good gamepads for the PC) make it more
than plesant to play on my PC. The fact that I'm able to play classics like Kirby 3,
Tokimeki Memorial, and the Megami Tensei games now is a big plus, too. I understand
that for many people playing emulators on the computer isn't nearly as convenient or
comfortable as playing on a TV, and it certainly isn't the SAME. But I feel that some
games, RPGs for example, translate well to the PC interface.
As for PCs becoming obsolete in the face of the new systems, I have the following
comment. My PC runs Photoshop. My SNES runs <shudder> Mario Paint. Do you really
need me to describe my experiences with <stronger shudder> Mario Paint, or can we
just say that for some applications a broad-tasked PC works better than a game-specific
console system?
--Jason Morrow |
I did make the specific comment that people who do programming, graphic design, or
other technical things wouldn't be likely to give up their PCs. As a programmer, I'd have
real problems with a system I couldn't adapt and control easily. (But then again, I do
code on WinNT...)
I really can't talk about emulation much here, and by and large the debate so far has
been about PC paradigm games vs. console paradigm games. That said, generally speaking I
don't think emulation can be done as well on the PC as the original system. RPGs
especially, since I tend to go into a boneless, button-pushing lump when playing an RPG
hours on end that wouldn't be comfortable at a desk. Something like Bleem! doesn't have
Dual Shock support that I'm aware, which is a good chunk of what makes MGS so playable.
| Dancing the Protoss with his girlfriend |
| You thought that the FMV in StarCraft was as good as the stuff in FF8?
Interesting. While in some places the StarCraft FMV was pretty cool (like showing off cool
looking Zerg and Protoss), I found that the actual people where pretty poorly animated.
Not that the FMV didn't do it's job, the ending to StarCraft was amazing and emotional
(sniffle, Tassidar), it just wasn't FF8 quality. Anyway, you know what my friend does?
He dances for a dance company, he spends time with his girlfriend and he plays StarCraft.
Sure he finds time to do other stuff (like hang out with me), but really his average day
is StarCraft, Dance, Girlfriend. Now dancing and girlfriend aside, I find it impressive
that he can play StarCraft ever day and not tire of it. I can't think of any game I own
that has that kind of replay value. Except I do have games like that. Both FFT and FM3
would have been GREAT multiplayer games. Infact they would have been quite like StarCraft,
fun to play in one player, kick ass in multiplayer. Oh well there is always the PS2 or the
Dreamcast (or the Dolphin or ...shudder... the X-Box).
I totally agree with what you are saying about Saturday morning cartoons. For an
example of this just look at Transformers in the 80s and Transformers now. Beast Wars was
a slight evolution from the stupidity of Transformers and now Beast Machines just kicks
ass. Although cartoons now are a little more PC than they used to be, you'll never get a
cracktastic cartoon like ThunderCats anymore (Thunder, THUNDER, THUNDERCATS HO!, Oh look
my sword has grown, no symbolism there). When I was a kid however I always hated the
complicated cartoons (Why are they on the same ship as the RoboTech masters? They were
just fighting the RoboTech guys last week! Oh well He-Man is on next.) And I can totally
understand Pokemon. After re-watching some Ninja Turtles episodes that I loved so much,
I'm amazed not only at the Pokemon stores, but at the continuity. In Ninja Turtles little
things (like voices, the state of Dontello's portal to Dimension X, the layout of the
sewer) always changed. These were things I noticed as a kid and would bug the hell out of
me now.
Anyway I've almost written 500 words so I should stop now. Why aren't my Philosophy
papers this easy to write?
--
Evil is Good. Evil is the JOB!
BeerGoggles_FromMARS
Daniel Kaszor |
Perhaps the Starcraft FMV wasn't technically as good as FF8, but what it lacked in
smoothness of movement it made up for in attitude. Details like the rednecks-in-space
motif really go a long way with me. Heck, I think the Warcraft III trailer works better on
a narrative level than the FF8 intro, and now I'm going to be killed by legions of rabid
Square fans.
Online multiplayer FFT...
*deadlock*
*kill proc*
Ok, moving on...
| Same old, same old magic system |
| is final 9 is going to be the same as 7,8 with the summons and magic? and
another thing what year does this take place in? |
Insofar as FF7 and 8 have the same magic system (they both had summons animations, I
think it ends there) yes, FF9 should be the same as well (it will also have summons
animations). I don't know the precise year XI is set in, but I think we can safely say it
won't be in the Century of the Fruitbat.
| HDTV and the people who love it |
| Hi Chris, After seeing all the comments about how hard it is to
control console games on a PC, I had to give my opinion on the gamepad I currently have,
the Hammerhead FX, from Interact. It is simply the best controller I've yet found for
playing console or console-styled games on a PC. It has all the features of a Dual Shock,
plus enough buttons to mimic any console system out there, and would have made an
excellent N64 controller. Heck, I even got FF8 PC to run as if I were using a DS with it
(too bad the game doesn't have the force feedback bit). Anyway, its just a great
controller for anyone who likes playing PC games with a gamepad or is into emulation.
And just so you have something to respond to, would you buy (or want to buy) a
widescreen TV if a really great game was released that took advantage of that screen
format?
Bart |
I'll take your word on the controller. You bring up an interesting question with the TV
thing, tho. I currently have a Sony WEGA with component video inputs (read it and weep,
folks) which is about as good a TV as you can get short of HDTV. So until the HDTV price
comes down a bit, and/or I've got few grand to waste, I won't be upgrading any time soon.
But when HDTV does become widespread, things are gonna get interesting. If I remember
correctly, the Japanese adopted their new TV standard a few years ahead of the US, which
might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but ultimately left them with a high
definition analog standard while the US settled on a digital standard. Arguing about
analog vs. digital aside (we're better than they are, nyah!) this means that US and
Japanese consoles may someday have to support different output formats, putting us in the
same position as European PAL TVs are currently in. In other words, consoles could take
even longer to come out over here than they already do.
| I want to name my character
"Grandfunkmastahcooldude" |
| Are there any RPGs out there that let you rename characters with names of
8 or more letters? Just curious. Zidane |
Can't think of any, but my internal retrieval systems aren't 100% right now. Show what
a hard core dedicated game player you are and email AK.
| This time, he's gone too far! |
| What do I want to do today? I want to lure Bill Gates into his
"Scrooge McDuck" style bank vault and suffocate him in his billions of dollars
of gold doubloons. There is a rumor on FGN that Microsoft is looking to aquire (read
hijack) Square! Why not pick up Konami, Capcom, Namco and EA while you're at it, Rich Boy.
I hope the federal government breaks up Microsoft; breaks it up into so many companies
there will be one purely for desktop folder design. -Rick Radatz |
While I think Microsoft acquiring Square is about as likely as Duke Nukem embracing
pacifism, if such a thing did come to pass, I'd have no choice but to personally destroy
every MS facility in Redmond. I'm not kidding, the anti-IMF protesters would be as nothing
compared to the full frontal assault Square fans would launch against Mr. Bill. Fear our
wrath.
| Me love vid-game music long time |
| You better believe I love me some vid-game music. Favorites include Sonic
CD, Castlevania 4, Wipeout, Final Fantasty 3 (US), Chrono Trigger, and Panzer Dragoon.
You're not alone in your preference for more realistic orchestral sounds instead of
obviously MIDI tracks. I used to imagine my favorite epic numbers from the Final Fantasy
or Zelda series as performed by the London Philharmonic, awaiting the day when such
quality was possible. Fortunately we seem to have arrived. The first soundtrack that just
grabbed me by the ear lobes and swabbed them with the Q-Tips of Greatness was Sonic CD.
For the first time, I was hearing professional quality music in a video-game (an
exceptionally fun one, natch). But you've still got to love some of that old-school funk,
like Ninja Gaiden 2 and Metroid. With the limitations of the system in mind, the musicians
for these games came through with big-time success. However, it's hard to believe that the
idea persists today that game music is still just a series of bleeps and blips. But what
should we expect when most television programs or movies show people playing a Sony
Playstation accompanied by the most ancient of Pac-Man sound effects? What is the freakin'
deal with that?! Another point I'd like to make today concerns the latest FF9 promo
stuff shown on the GIA. I think we should start another big debate on the talents of
Yoshitaka Amano. I for one think the guy is great, and his latest work for FF9 is his best
yet, in my view. Inevitably, though, someone will hate it for not looking like their
latest bug-eyed anime purchases. Let the conflict begin anew!
--Brad G. |
I love it when people on TV are obviously holding a Dual Shock but are hearing the
sound effects from the Atari 2600 version of Pac Man. I suppose it's a testament to the
power of bad games that 2600 Pac Man still lives on after all this time. I don't remember
Ninja Gaiden 2 (played the game, don't remember the music) but Metroid was almost ambient.
Very good for its time, but not something I'd want to listen to today.
And I'm not nearly insane enough to tackle Amano's artwork as a topic, I'll leave that
for AK this weekend. Heh.
| Almost, but not enough |
| Well since I dont want my games to become pong, I hope this is enough to
satisfy your sick urges. Now leave me be. Kandrin on ice. |
I won't turn your games into Pong, but I felt your letter lacked the appropriate amount
of zanshin (very rough translation: "emotional intensity"). Therefore,
all your games are now Joust for the Atari 5200. Enjoy!
Closing Comments:
A lot of people pointed out that Kojima has suggested MGS2 will be on the PS2, but I'm
withholding judgement until I see the actual screenshots. Just trying not to get my hopes
up at this point.
I started writing this to Animaniacs but ended up on Scooby Doo. Figures. Talk to the
AK, because I'm not listening. See you Monday.
-Chris Jones, prefers Robotech to Voltron |
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