Useless RPG Characters Competition Results

   A few weeks ago, the GIA gave readers the choice to select the single most useless RPG character of all time. (The original candidates and nomination speeches are available here.) Despite Qlon's allegation of voting fraud, the results were split fairly even amongst the wide cast of unreliable, uncontrollable, weak, or just plain incompetent characters.

Pokey demonstrates his mighty powers

   Edward "Spoony bard" von Muir and Cait Sith took the early lead thanks to name recognition, but the sheer incompetence of Rafa and Malak, Final Fantasy Tactics' vision-impaired magic users, quickly earned them the upper hand. The final winner, however, was Pokey; late-game stumping from EarthBound.Net pushed the chubby Onettian into the top slot by a sizeable lead.

   Although Suikoden's androgynous Qlon is staggeringly useless (he/she is only able to announce the name of the Liberation Army's castle), he/she garnered just 6% of the vote, prompting him/her to launch an investigation into possible fraud in the ballot counting. No such misconduct was found, though the investigation delayed the release of the results by several weeks.

   The GIA had the chance to speak with Qlon him/herself regarding his/her allegations:

   GIA: Thanks for taking the time to speak with us, Qlon.

   Qlon: Welcome to Toran Castle. I feel so good.

   GIA: Qlon, you claim that Cait Sith and Pokey conspired to rig the vote count and cheat you out of the title. What evidence do you have to support this claim?

   Qlon: Welcome to Toran Castle. I feel so good.

   GIA: Er, right. So, Qlon, what do you plan to do next? Will you be sticking around to contest the title next year?

   Qlon: Welcome to Toran Castle. I feel so good.

   GIA: Qlon, a lot of us at the GIA have been wondering what gender you are. Could you shed some light on this situation?

   Qlon: Welcome to Toran Castle. I feel so good.

   GIA: Just one more questions for the fans: Can we expect to see you in Suikoden 2?

   Qlon: Welcome to Toran Castle. I feel so good.

   GIA: Qlon, I'm afraid we'll have to leave it there. Thanks for dropping by.

   Qlon: Welcome to Toran Castle. I feel so good.

Final Voting Results -- 5106 Votes Total
Cait Sith76414%
Knights of Justice1903%
Rafa and Malak88817%

Feature by Fritz Fraundorf, GIA
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