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¤ Serious Fics ¤ Silly Fics ¤ Weird Crap ¤
Are YOU obsessed with Final Fantasy? ¤ My rabbits look like FF7 characters! True story of my FFVII obsession ¤ The... Chicken Joke? FF7's Team Rocket Speech ¤ If Seifer and Squall played TT...
I know there's about a million "You know you play too much FF when" type lists, but I just had to add a few of my own. So...
Are *YOU* Obsessed with Final Fantasy?
- Have you ever theorized on a storyline which ties all the FF games together into a continuous saga which has gone on for eons, from the Light Warriors' orbs to Materia?
- Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever left you because he/she was jealous of a video game character?
- When something really bad happens to you, do you hum the "sad" music from FF2(4j)?
- Have you ever called someone a spoony bard?
- When you see a roll of "Bounty" paper towels, do you immediately think "and mercy"?
- When you're on a train, do you blame the bad food on the fact it wasn't made by ghosts?
- Did you decide to let Shadow or Cid die in FF3(6j) to see if you'd get a different ending... and then chicken out because you felt bad about it?
- Do you know all the words to Celes' opera song?
- ...Including the multiple choices?
- ...And you sing along whenever you hear it?
- ...And you do the same with "One Winged Angel?
- When watching MTV, do you ever accidentally call Natalie Imbruglia "Yuffie", because that's who you thought it was when you first saw the video for "Torn"?
- Have you ever wondered if perhaps the demise of the dinosaurs was why the Ancients sealed the Black Materia in their temple?
- When listening to a They Might Be Giants album, do you start asking yourself "Hmm... I wonder if Tseng could tell me why Constantinople got the works?"
- Is your favorite love song "Aria de Mezzo Caraterre", "Theme of Love", or "Interrupted By Fireworks"? (Or, uhm, perhaps "One Winged Angel"? Maybe I'm just weird...)
My rabbits look like FF7 characters!
First of all, we have my rabbit Teddy. He's athletic (it helps him be mischevious, I guess), with black fur, and every time I take a picture of him, his eyes look like they're a deep red. Now, that's true of most people or animals with dark eyes, but I've never seen red-eye happen so much as it does with Teddy. So let's see... black hair, deep red eyes, athletic... If only I could put a crimson cape on him and a gun at his waist, he'd make a really cute bunny version of Vincent!
And then there's Teddy's brother, my other rabbit, Zipper. Zipper's a little more calm and collected than Teddy, also larger and with pretty grey fur. Teddy and Zipper are both half-dwarf and half-lop, but where Teddy's inherited more of the dwarfish looks, Zipper looks more like a typical minilop, like his mom. His ears seldom actually flop over, but when they do... well... I noticed while looking at some of my screen shots that Sephiroth's bangs kind of resemble the ears of a lop. And Zipper's eyes, though they appear black, sometimes change color to grey, or sometimes brown. So, color-changing eyes, grey hair, ears which sort of resemble Sephiroth's bangs... well, I guess it's sort of a stretch. And I can't decide which one's cuter (though of course it's a different kind of cute, between Zipper and Sephy).
True embarrassing FFVII obsession story...
Well, I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the asteroid that they thought was going to hit Earth in 2028? The day they released that story, I was sitting at work, using my lunch break to write my fanfic. Well, I've been writing some scenes out of order, and it just so happened that I was writing a part where Kit tries to keep Sephiroth from using the Black Materia, but he uses it to summon the Meteor anyway... When I hear two coworkers talking:
"So, did you hear about that meteor headed for Earth?"
"Yeah, supposedly it might hit the planet and wipe out all life, right?"
For just a moment, I had to wonder if I'd slipped into some realm of Final Fantasy delusion where Sephiroth existed...
The... Chicken Joke?
I wish I could take credit for this, but I can't. The following is the contents of one of the most hilarious messages I've ever seen posted on a message board, and so I asked the author, Jhiend if I could put it up. She said no, but it was so funny that - no, I'm kidding, she said yes. ^_^
So anyway, I'm not sure who came up with this idea, but a bunch of people were talking about, what would be Square characters' responses if asked "Why did the chicken cross the road?" And here are the answers Jhiend gave...
Marle: Oh chicken, you're so strong. *giggle*
Edgar: There were ladies present!
Shadow: There are chickens like it in the world who have killed all emotion. Remember that.
Gau: shiny! road shiny!
Edgar (again): You see, there're more chickens here than grains of sand out there. I can't keep track of 'em all!
General Leo: Don't be pompous! And DON'T forget that they are PEOPLE, just like you and me.
Kefka: Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of chickens crossing the road in unison!
Locke: I.... failed it.....
Locke (again):
C
C
C
C
C
C
CHICKEN?!
Relm: I was going to paint its portrait.
Shadow (again): Don't misunderstand me. I just wanted to get my chicken back.
Terra: I know now why I must fight, for the chicken!
Cloud: I don't care why it crossed the road.
Cloud's mind: Watch out! This isn't just a chicken!
Tifa: Whenever I'm in trouble, my chicken will come and rescue me.
Tifa: You weren't here. The chicken did not cross the road five years ago.
Aeris: They say chickens can't cross roads in Midgar. But for some reason, the chickens have no trouble crossing roads here.
Red XII: An informed question. But difficult to answer.
Sephiroth: With its superior power, knowledge, and magic, the chicken was destined to cross the road.
Rude: ...
JENOVA: Because, it was...... a puppet.
Hojo: Quit asking me why you moron.
FF7's Team Rocket Speech
I think I've been watching WAY too much Pokémon for my own good lately... This honestly just popped into my head one night.
Prepare for trouble!
Make it double!
To protect the world from falling planets...
To cuss out #$&%ing slow mechanics!
To denounce the evils of Shinra Inc...
To build a plane and paint it pink!
Shera!
Cid!
Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!
Surrender now, or prepare to #$&%in' fight!
Hey-hey! That's right!
Hey, it's fatman Palmer! Get the @$&% outta here!
Hey-hey! Hey-hey! Hey-hey!
Cid, I think he's broken...
Yeah? Well, you ain't fixing him - you'd take a hundred years!
*sigh* I guess I'll just go make some tea...
Hey-hey! Did somebody say tea?
If Seifer and Squall played TT...
Note: This DOES contain a plot detail for FF8, the end of disc 2, so if you're not there yet and don't want to be spoiled...
This is just a transcript of one branch of a very odd thread that erupted on a message board, after I commented that I was thinking about writing a fic based on a game of Triple Triad between two characters. Rob kind of liked the idea, apparently, and got his own idea... and so we bounced ridiculous scenarios around for awhile...
Nick: |
Robert Silvers |
Date/Time: |
Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:15:28 MDT (Mon, 10/18/1999 at 12:15:28 EST) |
Subject: |
You sick obsessed freak. |
Spoiler Tag: |
Mini-Spoiler - guy you fight and stuff he says near end of disk 2 |
Message: |
Disk 2: Galbadia Garden Seifer: Hey, chicken-wuss. Zell: Grrr! Seifer: Am
I still one of your favorite students, Instructor. Quistis: Not anymore. Seifer:
Let's go. Squall: Wanna play cards? Seifer: ... ... ... Sure. One quick hand.
Then I gotta kill ya. Squall: Whatever.
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Nick: |
Ellcrys |
Date/Time: |
Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:21:44 MDT (Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:21:44 MDT) |
Subject: |
Mwahaha... actually, that would have been cool. |
Message: |
*they begin to play, using the Open rule* Zell: *snickers as he sees what cards
Squall's chosen to use against Seifer* Seifer: What?! How did you get all these
rare cards? And where did you get MY character card?! Squall: ...None of your
business. Seifer: That's it - you're on the list! Quistis: You mean just 'the
list', or your 'list of tough nuts to crack'? Squall: (I thought I was already
on both those lists.) Seifer: Don't patronize me, Instructor Trepe. Play the game,
Squall...
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Nick: |
Robert Silvers |
Date/Time: |
Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:27:26 MDT (Mon, 10/18/1999 at 12:27:26 EST) |
Subject: |
I dunno about that... |
Message: |
Seifer has access to lots of Boss Cards (through Martine at Galbadia) and the Edea
card. And he could have won Quistis and Seifer while Squall was out being the BAD
DUDE by killing the fake president. *They play using the Random rule* Squall:
RED BATS? NO! Seifer: Ha ha! Squall: Well, at least I've got my Minotaur card. Seifer:
*turns the Red Bats over, and wins the Minotaur card* Heh heh. You still suck, Squall. Zell:
DAMMIT! You lost the Minotaur card! Squall: *puts his head in his hands* Why me?
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Nick: |
Ellcrys |
Date/Time: |
Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:38:57 MDT (Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:38:57 MDT) |
Subject: |
*snickers* |
Message: |
Ah, at any rate, in my game, I won Zell and Quistis before I was even a SeeD. so
with that and the Seifer card, there's three cards for my hand... add Minotaur, Sacred,
Diablos, Odin, Siren, Ifrit, and Cerberus to the pile of rare cards I'd aqcuired
before that particular fight, and Seifer wouldn't have stood a chance no matter what
boss cards he used. Unless he was super-intelligent and used the Same/Plus rules
and got a good combo.
Seifer: *turns all 8 cards that have been placed red with a Same combo* Hah hah!
Didn't see that coming, did you, chicken-wuss? Zell: Grr... Squall, do something...
I don't want HIM to have my card! Squall: (But... I only have this one Sacred
card left, and only one place left to place it, down in the corner. And neither side
is higher than the side of the card by it... Well, at least I still have the chance
to beat him in combat.) *places Sacred, accidentally triggering a Plus combo that
turns every card on the board blue again* Zell: Whoa!! Seifer: Arrrghh... Quistis:
Very impressive, Squall! I didn't know you played so intellectually... Squall:
(Wow... that was weird.) Quistis: You were setting up that combo from the beginning,
weren't you? You're much smarter than I gave you credit for. Squall: ...Whatever.
*takes Seifer's Cactuar card* Seifer: You'll pay for this! Prepare to die, Squall! |
Nick: |
Robert Silvers |
Date/Time: |
Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:43:23 MDT (Mon, 10/18/1999 at 12:43:23 EST) |
Subject: |
I dunno... |
Message: |
Squall showed his intelligence in the Shumi Village quest.' But I think if Seifer
had Zell (he could get it earlier too), Quistis, Seifer, Edea, and Tiamat, he could
rock Squall. And since they're next to Edea's house, it's Centra rules, and Centra
= random. Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!
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Nick: |
Ellcrys |
Date/Time: |
Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:47:41 MDT (Mon, 10/18/1999 at 11:47:41 MDT) |
IP Address: |
207.89.142.112 (as2-112.klmz.mi.net-link.net) |
Browser: |
Netscape Navigator V3.0 Gold using Windows 95 |
Subject: |
heehee... |
Message: |
Red Bats would suck. Or worse yet.. they get a rematch and Squall gets all Grats
this time! Mwahahha....
You know, this is highly amusing. I'm tempted to take these messages with the little
snippets of scenes and stick them on the "Weird Crap" bit of my homepage... |
And as you can see from reading this, I was more than tempted. Heh heh... it's good to be a geek.
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