The Northern Crater - Fanfics - MSTing of the Final Fantasy I Script: Part 3

	MSTing of "The Final Fantasy I Script" Part Three Daniel Seltzer _____________________________________________________ - The Final Fantasy Script - Part III - WORLD REBIRTH _____________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \| Chapter 6 - Virtue of the Fallen \| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- SEA To get to Crescent Lake the LW must traverse much open sea. The journey will be a long one--so the LW, wisely, head back to Coneria to stock upon some supplies before departing. * * * EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- FAR SOUTHEAST PORT OF LOWER CONTINENT The LIGHT WARRIORS reach their destination after many days at sea. The trek was long and arduous but the party's resiliancy presided over the trials. Eager to set foot on land, the LW dock and head-out for Crescent Lake. Through a dense forest a quaint (albeit genteel) town resides on a peculiar shaped lake ... one shaped in the likeness of a crescent moon. EXTERIOR: CRESCENT LAKE -- OUTSIDE MAGIC CENTERS WOMAN: LIGHT WARRIORS, you can do it! Yator: Hee hee... Halzamon: YATOR—NO HENTAI!!!! EXTERIOR: CRESCENT LAKE -- BEHIND WEAPON SHOP MAN: (s, he's asleep) z---- z---- Yator: Funny how they only have one z when they sleep....they must not TRULY be that deeply asleep... Hator: (Grunts wondering why someone's asleep in the middle of a town anyways) EXTERIOR: CRESCENT LAKE -- SECLUDED GROVE NEAR TOWN Locating a hidden path behind the magic centers the LW hapen upon none other than the Circle of Sages. Lukahn at last! Halzamon: HAPEN!! HAPPEN, YOU MEAN!!! EVIL FERGUSON, EVIL EVIL EVIL!!!!! SAGE: We, the Twelve Sages, were lead here by the stars and prophecy. Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "Anyone who believes in some worthless prophecy is an idiot.") Yator: Hey, I believe in prophecies... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. SAGE: Once the ORBS shined with the power of Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water. The four FIENDS seized those Powers. SAGE: Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water---- The world is bound by these four Powers. Halzamon: The world is bound? Untie it, damn you! Untie the world! Don't keep it prisoner!! SAGE: Each element's power focuses at its Altar. Locate, and crush the Fiend. Then to make it shine, place the ORB on the Altar it guarded! Yator: Why not just walk around the fiend and go straight to the altar? SAGE: Four FIENDS are bent on the world's destruction. 200 years ago, the FIEND of Wind teamed with that of the Water to destroy civilization. Hator: (Grunts wondering about the other two fiends) SAGE: The Earth FIEND causes the rot of our land. Halzamon: "Caused", you mean. Past tense. Yator: Hal, you pay way to much attention to grammar and spelling errors. I don't feel this need to comment on every one I see... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. SAGE: The Fire FIEND will burn everything up! Halzamon: Yeah, and THAT'S why there is an Ice Cave located within spitting distance of Kary's lair... SAGE: As you restore light to the ORBS, we will reveal more secrets, please see us repeatedly. Yator: Um...why not just tell us everything you know now? Hator: (LW) (Grunts in a manner indicating that he is throwing the sage into the tree, trying to find out more information) SAGE: LIGHT WARRIORS, only you can make the ORBS shine again!! All: Why? SAGE: Quickly, before all is burnt, hurry to Gurgu Volcano and stop the FIEND of Fire. Halzamon: Yeah, everything around us sure looks burnt to me... SAGE: Great job vanquishing the Earth FIEND. Now, the Fire FIEND wakes. With this CANOE go to the VOLCANO, and defeat that FIEND also! And finally, the LIGHT WARRIORS meet the 12th Sage: Lukahn. LUKAHN: I am Lukahn. Now all legends and prophecy will be fulfilled. Our path has been decided. Yator: Grr....I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE people who talk in esoteric nonsenical phrases like that... EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- CRESCENT LAKE RIVER Gurgu Volcano. There they will face their next challenge. The FIEND of Fire! Prepared, the LW pack everything into the canoe and head northwest; up the river. * * * EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- GURGU VOLCANO Perched high atop an island, Gurgu Volcano seems to be a timeless relic, one capable of great feats. Yet harboring such evil--the LW must be ever vigilant for the FIEND of Fire is not as forgiving as Lich had been. Destiny beckons them down into the fiery belly of the Earth. Halzamon: (Forgiving Lich) Yeah, so you're out to kill me...I'll forgive you. INTERIOR: GURGU VOLCANO -- FIRE ORBS' ALTAR ROOM After winding their way down the searing hot depths of Gurgu Volcano, the LW discover the lair of the evil FIEND of Fire. The battle for the element of Fire is here--nary a coward in the LW's, they stand true against the febrile and ever-pyretic Kary. Yator: Oooh...big words... KARY: Is it you, the tinder that defeated the FIEND of the Earth, and distrurbed my sleep? I, KARY, will now show you the force of Fire, and you shall burn in its flames!! (she sure is "torchy", ne?) All: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yator: PUNS ARE EVIL!!! Halzamon: And he ripped that one directly out of Nintendo Power, too...now THAT'S disgusting... Hator: (Grunts in agreement) A resounding battle with Kary took it's toll on the LW's resolve but eventually through might&magic they overcame the FIEND's ravenous spells of flame. Intrepid as they are; the LW step forward and renew the lost power of the ORB of Fire. A resurgence of committment is felt by the LIGHT WARRIORS--for they have restored half of the ORBS! Still, a long road lies ahead and many perils tread with them ... * * * EXTERIOR: CRESCENT LAKE -- BEHIND WEAPON SHOP MAN: (s) For ten years I probed for the FLOATER. CANOE north, to the Ice Cave. Yator: Oh, NOW you wake up.... EXTERIOR: CRESCENT LAKE -- SECLUDED GROVE (CIRCLE OF SAGES) SAGE: We must use force only for just purposes. Halzamon: Well, then, use your force to JUSTLY help us! SAGE BEFORE LUKAHN: 400 years ago, we lost control of the Wind. 200 years later we lost the Water, then Earth and Fire followed. The Powers that bind this world are gone. Halzamon: Yes! The world is finally free! Hurray! Yator: Hurray? Um...Hal....are you starting to be smoking unhealthy substances? * * * EXTERIOR: ELFLAND -- OUTSIDE ARMORY ELF: In the desert south of the crescent, something is emerging from below the sand---- Use the FLOATER! Yator: Now, what are the odds of someone coming all the way to Elfland to talk to this person? EXTERIOR: ELFLAND -- CLOSE PROXIMITY OF BLACK MAGIC CENTER ELF: (s) I can see a cave above the crescent---- To the north of the volcano, there you will find the FLOATER. * * * INTERIOR: DWARF CAVE -- NEAR ENTRANCE DWARF: Oh, did you see that canal? Old Nerrick truly is great indeed. DWARF: Old Nerrick is a very respectable Dwarf. DWARF: The earth is reviving! Thanks to you, LIGHT WARRIORS! Halzamon: All right...now what's our reward? Yator: (Dwarf who was shouting "hurray") Here, try smoking this! Halzamon: Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! * * * EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- CRESCENT LAKE PORT The LIGHT WARRIORS with all the hints of knowledge gained from the Circle of the Sages and townsfolk of Crescent Lake, begin their search for the mysterious relic of the past which can defy the laws of gravity and powerful enough to suspend entire castles--the FLOATER. Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying: "Suspend entire castles? Cool....now let's lift Coneria castle 100 miles up in the air, just to get back at that idiotic king.") * * * EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- RYUKAHN DESERT -- AIRSHIP GRAVE Having obtained the ancient FLOATER stone from the frigid Ice Cave, the LW head south to the Ryukahn Desert. Maybe ... somewhere exists a wonder that people used to roam high above the clouds with called an Airship. After a days worth of traveling in the scorching sun-baked dunes, the LW almost given up hope..but then something happens. The FLOATER stone eerily glows an strange aura over a portion of the land. The LW hold it tight as they witness an ancient legacy unfold before their eyes. The AIRSHIP rises from it's 400 year-old grave and magnificantly hovers before the LIGHT WARRIORS--ready to aide and assist them on their quest to save the world. Halzamon: Oh, an Airship! How ORIGINAL!!! What a STUNNINGLY NEW idea!!! Yator: Um...Hal....this game was released in 1990. Back then, it WAS a new idea. Halzamon: Oh. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \| Chapter 7 - Coming of Age \| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD In the Airship the LIGHT WARRIORS head to uncharted territory, their quest has taken so many twists and turns -- what now? No one knows for sure but the LW face their quest for light with an undying courage.. courage. Yator: Twists and turns? It's looked fairly straightforward to me...me. Halzamon: Yes, definitely...definitely. Hator: (Grunts....grunts.) EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD -- CARDIA ISLANDS The LW land their Airship on a chain of islands that bears many 'cave entrances' if you will. Perhaps inhabitants make an adobe from these. Mystery abounds! Halzamon: ADOBE?? ABODE, IDIOT!!! Yator: No, the caves are made out of clay... Hator: (Grunts in agreement) INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- FIRST CAVE -- NEAR ENTRANCE DRAGON: Only the courageous ones bring back the proof of their courage. Halzamon: Gee, thank you for telling us this! Yator: Hey, that wasn't obvious to me... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- SECOND CAVE -- NEAR ENTRANCE DRAGON: We are going to the Castle of Ordeal to the northeast. There we will test, and bring back proof of our courage. INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- SECOND CAVE -- INSIDE ROOM DRAGON: The proof of your courage might be anything. Hator: (Grunts in a manner implying that it is probably something large, slimy, and moderately toxic.) Yator: I'm not so sure about that.... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. Yator: No, YOU two are! It's a rat's tail, you dummy... Halzamon: Who's to say that it's not a large, slimy, moderately toxic rat tail? DRAGON: Once in the north, there were beautiful palaces and big mechanical castles. INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- THIRD CAVE -- ENTRANCE HALL DRAGON: If you are brave enough try meeting the King of the Dragons, BAHAMUT. Yator: Oh, so THAT'S the test of your courage...gee...sure sounds easy to me... INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- THIRD CAVE -- EASTERN JUNCTURE DRAGON: Unprofitable business is not a practice of the Dragons of Cardia. DRAGON: Long ago, Dragons and humans lived and traded together. Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "Gee, everyone's houses must have been much bigger.") INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- FIFTH CAVE -- NEXT TO ENTRANCE DRAGON: Have you met BAHAMUT, the Dragon King? He honors those with courage as true warriors. Yator: Yeah, by making them look thinner and cooler. INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- SIXTH CAVE -- SECOND ROOM Room is filled with old chests and wares. Simple yet strangely 'neat' for dragons. Oh well... All: Huh? DRAGON: You are not afraid of me?? Then, I am impressed! Halzamon: Oh...THAT'S the test of courage... INTERIOR: CARDIA ISLANDS -- BAHAMUT'S CAVE -- BAHAMUT'S CHAMBERS Descending a long, silent hall the LIGHT WARRIORS uncertainly seek out Bahamut's whereabouts. The party enters a room filled with seemingly meticulously placed candles. ((Notice the shape they form?)) Yator: Um...I don't see it. Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. GUARD DRAGON: This is BAHAMUT's room. GUARD DRAGON: BAHAMUT verifies the true courage of all. BAHAMUT: I am BAHAMUT, King of the Dragons. Bring me proof of your courage, to receive the honor due true warriors. * * * EXTERIOR: CASTLE OF ORDEAL Heeding Bahamut's will, the LIGHT WARRIORS advance toward the intriguing Castle of Ordeal. What awaits inside? A test ... ? INTERIOR: CASTLE OF ORDEAL -- CENTER OF PILLARS OLD SAGE: Possession of the CROWN is required to test your courage. Take it to the royal throne, and bring back proof of your courage. GOOD LUCK! Halzamon: Oh, so there WAS a point in getting that crown instead of just going up and beating up Astos.... All: Yay. How exciting. INTERIOR: CASTLE OF ORDEAL -- THRONE ROOM The LW place the CROWN on the throne and are magically whisked away into a cramped-up room..and outside it lies a maze to test their naked wits as well as their physical strength. All: NAKED WITS???? After a long battle to the top the prize ended up being a rat's TAIL!!!!!!?????? WTH!? Let's go see BAHAMUT shall we? (Note: if you forgot to do it before, check out the text for the "TAIL"--Final Fantasy humor in it's infancy, huh?) All: Um.... INTERIOR: BAHAMUT'S CAVE -- BAHAMUT'S CHAMBERS (glorifyed, obviously - hungry too, perhaps? LOL) Halzamon: Wha-? BAHAMUT: The TAIL of a rat proves your courage. I shall give you the honor due true warriors. (WHOOOOSH!! Whoa! We just got a LOT more powerful and kewler lookin'! Thanx, O'fiery-breathed one!) All: Um... Halzamon: I think this script writer was smoking unhealthy substances when he was writing this chapter....it's gotten very weird. Yator: Weird is good! I love weird! Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. Bahamut has bestowed a great power on the LIGHT WARRIORS and they each now know their true-self. The party is now prepared for the conflicts ahead of them and to face them with courage. BAHAMUT: WARRIORS. Revive the Power of the ORBS! ((Note: the latter these two dialogues spoken by BAHAMUT is standard issue for integral characters (after they have accomplished their main reason for "being" in the game). So, if you come back and visit them again--that is all yer gonna get.. trust me! ;) To employ an aphorism: "It's sad but true.")) Halzamon: Gee....like I hadn't noticed that already... Yator: Well, I'm grateful for the info... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \| Chapter 8 - The Mermaid's Tale \| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EXTERIOR: OVERWORLD Now the LIGHT WARRIORS turn their focus west to the town on the coastline. Perhaps the civilians there can provide some useful information. Halzamon: The civilians? Um...yeah...or maybe the military, too. EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- OUTSIDE CLINIC SOLDIER: Have you found OXYALE? Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "What the #@$@ is that?") EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- BEHIND CLINIC OLD MAN: Until 200 years ago the Mermaids lived in the Shrine. Then, in fire and smoke, it sank. The Mermaids?---- Yator: Well, um, considering that mermaids breathe underwater, I'd assume that they're just fine... EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- PATHWAY YOUNG WOMAN: My legs are beautiful! It's so nice to have legs. (hm? i'll let you figure it out) Halzamon: An ex-mermaid? MAN w/MOHAWK: Underhill, the Caravan master, had something very strange---- Halzamon: Yeah, he called it, "pot". PIRATE (BIKKE?): Avast ye landlubbers! Stay out of me way! EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- NEAR GRAVEYARD ANOTHER MAN w/MOHAWK: Kope 'says' he saw a shining object fall. Yator: Why is "says" in quotes? Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "because he didn't really say it, he communicated it through telepathy, idiot.") Yator: Oh. I didn't realize that. Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- GRAVEYARD MAN: (mourning) This town used to be prosperous 200 years ago. EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- OUTSIDE BLACK MAGIC CENTER WITCH: You have legs! Hator: (Grunts in a manner indicating that he lost a leg a few days ago, but Yator gave him another one.) EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- BROOK'S SURROUNDINGS UNDERHILL'S DAUGHTER: My father runs the Caravan. He is having a close out sale near the oasis in the western desert. Halzamon: And he's selling pot? Oooh...We MUST hurry there... EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- NEAR SOUTHERN EXIT DRAGON: I saw BAHAMUT, but to be honored as a true warrior I must return with proof of my courage. DRAGON: Well, well---- I see you have been honored. ***** Note: The former dialogue is spoken ONLY if you visit Onrac before changing. And if your wondering about the screen shot on the back of the FF box--nope, that text is NOT in the game. Go figure! I assume the translator pulled a last minute rephraseal. =P ***** Halzamon: A rephraseal? What on earth is a rephraseal? Yator: It's when you rephrase something by sealing it. Halzamon: No it isn't, idiot! EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- EASTERN SIDE -- SUBMARINE DOCK KOPE: My name is Kope. I saw it north, near the waterfall. Believe me! I think it was a robot. Halzamon: Uh...yeah...robots falling from the sky...have you been sampling the caravan master's wares? Or perhaps been accepting certain substances from a certain Dwarf? OLD MAN: (s) Until 200 years ago, the Power of water brought us good fortune. WOMAN: (s) I made a submarine to save the mermaids. But, to go deep enough it will require OXYALE. EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- IN FRONT OF INN WOMAN: Fables say that when the shrine sank, many treasures were lost. Also, they tell of a cryptic stone plate. Yator: But that isn't a treasure, since you didn't group it with them, so who cares... Halzamon: Hey, picking on petty grammar errors and ambiguities is my job! Yator: Really? I hadn't realized that yet... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. DR. UNNE'S BROTHER: My brother Dr. Unne has studied Lefeinish, the language of the SKY WARRIORS. If he had the SLAB, he could teach it. (FTR: population of Onrac is 20) * * * EXTERIOR: ABOVE THE CLOUDS The LIGHT WARRIORS having aquired the Fairy in the bottle from the Caravan in the desert now search for more clues to obtain the required OXYALE for the sub. The next town is GAIA. Maybe this town will thrust the LW further on their quest. Yator: HELP!!! This town is thrusting me! EXTERIOR: GAIA -- NEAR ENTRANCE YOUNG MAN: This town is Gaia---- Halzamon: No it isn't! It's Illusion of Gaia! Hator and Yator: (Fall to the ground thrashing convulsively at the mention of the name of the stupidest and worst of games..) EXTERIOR: GAIA -- FIELD NEAR ENTRANCE SCHOLAR: Have you been to the city south of here? I just cannot understand a word spoken there. I have wondered what language---- Halzamon: Well, uh, since the town is called Lefin, perhaps Lefinish would be a good guess? EXTERIOR: GAIA -- ABOVE BLACK MAGIC CENTER MAN: Everyone thinks the tower in Yahnikurm All: Bless you! Desert is a mirage. I wonder---- SCHOLAR: Legend says the SKY WARRIORS flew about, here and there, from a castle high in the sky. Yator: Isn't moving in a flying castle a little inconvenient? EXTERIOR: GAIA -- NEAR WHITE MAGIC CENTER YOUNG WOMAN: Unbelievable! You are outsiders, right? How did you get this far north? Halzamon: (LW) Well, you see that big ship that is apparently the size of 1/4th of your town, according to Square's map drawing? We flew over here in that. EXTERIOR: GAIA -- NEAR INN WITCH: What's that broom up to? It's talking backwards! BROOM: ?rewoP taerg evah uoy oD Yator: .t'nod ew oN !yawa oG EXTERIOR: GAIA -- FIELD SOUTH OF INN MAN: Legends say that the castle in the west is a place to test courage. ELDERLY LADY: The fairy at the spring was kidnapped. Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "What kind of a loser would abduct a fairy?") EXTERIOR: GAIA -- SOUTHWEST CORNER OF TOWN WOMAN: I saw a shining object flying towards the east. EXTERIOR: GAIA -- OUTSIDE LV8 MAGIC CENTERS MAN: Only a fairy can draw OXYALE from the spring. Halzamon: Uh...why? For that matter, what's the big deal with fairies and springs anyways? EXTERIOR: GAIA -- NEAR ITEM SHOP SCHOLAR: Let me see---- Yes, there was a professor that studied Lefeinish. EXTERIOR: GAIA -- OUTSIDE CLINIC PIRATE: Hardy, har, you are too late! I BOTTLED the fairy and sold her to a caravan. (was Bikke behind this kidnapping? The world may never know...) Yator: Um...considering that Bikke is still in Pravoka and doesn't have a ship anymore, I REALLY doubt it... EXTERIOR: GAIA -- WOODED AREA -- FAIRY SPRING The LW slowly and cautiously release the fairy from the bottle near the edge of the spring. Magically, the fairy feels a calm come over her knowing that she is safe once more. She draws forth the much-needed OXYALE from the bottom of the spring with a magical spell in gratitude for being saved. FAIRY: That pirate trapped me in the BOTTLE. I will draw OXYALE from the bottom of the spring for you. Thank you for saving me. Remember! OXYALE will give you air. Halzamon: Better than giving you gas, I suppose. Yator: But only barely. * * * EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- SUBMARINE DOCK Back in Onrac, the LW pass the OXYALE to the submarine engineer. There they embark on a deep-sea adventure to the sunken Sea Shrine. WOMAN (WHO BUILT THE SUB): WARRIORS, you have OXYALE. The mermaids wait, please help them! Halzamon: Yeah, they might be drowning... INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NORTHWEST ROOM MERMAID: Unbelievable!! You can breathe underwater?! I'm impressed! INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: Are we going to become bubbles? Yator: Um...I don't see any reason why you should... Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: My friend Darryl went to the land, then never returned. I've often wondered what happened---- Maybe, she grew legs and walked away? INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: Please save the sea, and make the ORB shine again! INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: I suppose you are the legendary---- Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "NO!!! SHUT UP!!! WE AR E NOT THE LIGHT WARRIORS!!!") INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: If we cannot regain the Power of Water, we will become bubbles, then disappear. Halzamon: Well...bubbles DO have a tendency to do that... INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: This is the Shrine's top floor. The FIEND of Water, KRAKEN lives on the bottom floor. INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: As long as the FIEND of Water lives, we---- Oh, boo hoo. Halzamon: I oh-boo-hooed too...it was fun.... INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: You have responded to me!! All: Um.... INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH LEVEL -- NEXT ROOM MERMAID: To unlock the Mirage Tower the Lefeinish used a musical tone. Yator: Don't you mean they did that to make the tower real? Halzamon: No, stupid, it just altered the appearance of the mirage. INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- WATER ORBS' ALTAR ROOM The FIEND's ball is shattered, evaporating all the water. KRAKEN: Ho, Ho, Ho---- How foolhardy to dare challenge me, KRAKEN the FIEND of the water. Halzamon: Ho, ho, ho...Merry Christmas. Yator: Shut up... I didn't think that was funny. Hator and Halzamon: Yeah, but you're stupid. After a 'inky' battle, the water ORB shines brilliantly once again. YEAH! All: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BAD PUN!!! INTERIOR: SEA SHRINE -- FIFTH FLOOR -- MERMAID ROOM MERMAID: Now order has returned. The sea will be as it was before, beautiful. Yator: You know, it didn't look that bad beforehand... * * * EXTERIOR: ONRAC -- IN FRONT OF INN DR. UNNE'S BROTHER: Soar to my brother Unne with the SLAB! Hator: (Grunts in a manner saying, "And then beat him over the head with it.") * * * EXTERIOR: MELMOND -- NORTHEAST GRAVEYARD Back to Melmond to pay a visit to good ol' Dr. Unne--this time with the SLAB. DR. UNNE: A SLAB!! This SLAB will lead us to solve the riddle of the Lefeinish!! Now, listen to me---- Halzamon: Uh...so this one small stone slab has the translation of an entire language on it? Um...yeah. Yator: Sure it does! The entire language is two words..."Lu"..and "Pa"... DR. UNNE: WARRIORS. Revive the Power of the ORBS! EXTERIOR: MELMOND -- OUTSIDE RUINED CLINIC MAN: OH! An Airship! The fables are true, it really exists!! EXTERIOR: MELMOND -- NEAR BLACK MAGIC CENTER LADY: Well, well---- You have become fine warriors. Yator: Yeah...soooo lady, how about we— Halzamon: You're getting waaaay too caught up in this MSTing, Yat... * * * EXTERIOR: GAIA -- OUTSIDE MAGIC CENTERS MAN: What?? You can speak Lefeinish? ******* EXTERIOR: LEFEIN ALL TOWNSPEOPLE: Lu----pa----? Lu----pa----? Yator: See, Hal...this IS a very basic language. One stone slab could EASILY contain all they need for it. (Note: this is the phonetic/verbal response you will receive every single time, sans the SLAB [Sea Shrine] & Dr. Unne's teachings [Melmond]. Sounds a little like those Willy Wonka elves, ne?? Sorry..) All: APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED!!! Hator: STUPID JOKE!!!! BAD COMPARISON!!! DIE!!!! ******* [1][2][3][4]

MSTing of "The Final Fantasy I Script" Part Three