Surreal (March 1999)

Standing on the brink of forever and I've nowhere left to go,
For the fire is raging inside me,
I cry out, once, twice, three-
Finally seeing my life as it is, one marvelously morbid show,
And they tell me that there's no hope left anywhere at all,
Reaching out, hate on dread,
Rope cuts into my hands, red-
And if I simply breathe, I'll lose my balance and I'll fall…
So I do the only thing I see-
And I run, and I run, and I run…

All your voices, sirens painful, catch me in my periling flight,
Inside my head, no off switch,
Like a curse, like to bewitch-
I lose myself amid the chaos from none mine hundred a fight,
Like the cruelest waking reality, surrounded as I am yet alone,
Never a dream came true,
Drowning in the water, blue-
The image of me lost in lives, yous, no voice for a soul's moan…
Can't you see there is no me?
Self undone, self undone, self undone…

I am the ear, the help, the advice, to those in need I am the rock,
Life to unravel if I were not strong
To let anyone see me weak, wrong-
And so I am carried on by the rolling torrent of time's infernal clock,
Will there never be an escape from my own fate, oh, will I never be free?
Must be one last phrase to say,
Force the colors out of gray-
I remember a moment, the noise did cease, the night you said you loved me…
You said you loved me,
I have won, I have won, I have won…


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