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Poetry Year 1 at UM poetry Year 2 at UM poetry Year 3 at UM poetry a collection of life advice Little Words my rant on the most overused words in our language Upon Happiness an introspective look at the idea of personal happiness A Year Ago a birthday reflection on life A World OF Rainbows a ramble about happiness, love and being alone a Final Fantasy VII vignette Whistle in the Wind a Final Fantasy Tactics piece Hope Keeps Love Alive a Final Fantasy VIII piece about Julia Heartilly | Running through a labyrinth, searching through a maze, I stand among the shadows watching dawn break with its haze I turn to face the shadows and I let my spirit fly Are those demons in the shadows just a vision in mind's eye? Someone tell me where I'm coming from or where my path will send In this circle that is life with no beginning and no end Let me know that somewhere, someone truly understands In this game of life, let my heart be my sword in my hands. The silent war continues on, whether night or day, One challenge hardly conquered when another comes my way A hundred thousand stars twinkle in the night The dark cannot defeat me, I am the wielder of the light. In this circle that is life with no beginning and no end I'm fighting for the light as I come around eahc bend I am searching for myself and for someone else who understands that the way to find the light is with my heart as my sword in my hands. A world of work and play / I sit and watch it go by / Looking for a reason to try / I leave another day- / far behind me, watch it die / Stars fill the evening sky / Oh Star, I wonder if I may / I wonder if I might / Have the wish I make tonight / Can you show me another way? / I know the future's bright- / Doesn't mean I have the sight... / All I can see is gray- / Where did the color go? / It's all I want to know- / It's too much to ask?? OK- / I'd settle for black and snow- / Some variety in this show- / Won't you let me have a say? / Hello?? Is it yes, or no? / I figured as much...and so... / The silent watcher I will stay. I was gazing at the sky that night but suddenly the stars didn't seem as bright They winked out above my head And my life was filled with dark and dread I'd lost every hope, hurt every friend Wondered if this should be the end Couldn't find a single reason to live I felt that I had nothing left to give I tried so hard to be everything for all Slowly I cried, how quickly I did fall... For it's one thing to have a broken heart, but a broken spirit's like being torn apart... But something stopped me-deep inside? maybe something I hadn't tried... On the brink of forever, but I turned away I could not write or sing or pray... It was just about then that it started to rain Not a cloud in sight!(I must be insane) Was it a sign or a symbol of fate? I'll never know-but I realized it wasn't too late The rain plastered my hair to my face The wind picked up as I froze in place One by one I watched stars appear In my eye but a single tear Voices of people that I held in love Flashed through my mind as I gazed above StarRain-over as quick as begun But leaving a hope with the coming of the sun... You've gotta decide if you want me Cause honey I won't wait around I'm walking on clouds, spinning through air My feet have long left the ground! You've gotta decide if you need me The last chance to tell me what's true I've always been my own spirit No way, no how I'd be blue over you. I may seem naive to the world I may seem sweet to the touch But I'm fire and ice all atonce If you're blind to that you don't know much I'm running my life at high speed Can't you tell I'm a star on the rise? If you don't want me, I won't be blue For that would surely be my demise! The endless blue sky doesn't mean a thing, The music in my head, every song that I sing- The light that was mine and showed me the way- Winked out, smothered and I'm falling today... No clouds to break the landing, No source of understanding, Now all I feel is wildly alone, Is this what it means to be on my own? People like skyscrapers, towering into the air, And I feel so small as upwards I stare, Out into the world, home far behind me- Searching for an answer, looking to be free... No clouds to break the landing, No source of understanding, Now all I feel is widly alone, Is this what it means to be on my own? And I will walk on, day into night, Finding a way to rekindle my light, And I will make it if I try my best, I'll find my place among the rest, And even if I am alone, I will survive, On My Own. Between two mountains is a valley, vast and wide And in it, a tower, where, by day, I hide Locked away by some great unknown power Left to wither like a discarded flower Tall Tower of Glass, clear to the sight and I, like a prism, diffracting the light I've given up finding someone to blame for I am so different, yet we all are the same Varied flowers that bloom in the plain The faces of people I call by name Surrounded by minds every day Yet more alone than I could ever say Sometimes at night the stars come out The Tower unlocks and I am let out Happily as the wind wandering through the skies Free for a moment of my impending demise Just for a moment the walls come down My face paints a smile instead of a frown My hand finds yours and our hearts are one but the moment is ruined by the coming of the sun The power of the tower draws me back in My own special gift is what locks me within Would I end my life to end this curse? At this point I don't know which would be worse... Tower of Glass, too easy to crack Across the plains my lonely voice echoes back Tower of Glass, too hard to break Has my life merely been mistake after mistake? I paint the rainbow that graces the sky My colors of faith that won't let me die A symbol of hope that someone hears my plea For the power of love might set me free. I always felt I had an unconqerable soul I always thought I was an indominable spirit I've always strived to reach my goal I will be on top-it's not good enough to be "near it" So don't you dare- You haven't seen my best This perfectionist society Is never enough to defeat me I've always been one to follow my dreams I've always been the type to paint rainbows and even on those days when life isn't what it seems I have struggled on in rains and sleets and snows So don't you dare- I'm only just beginning The fears and tears Give me the power to survive Alone in my room, trying to think, And the sun goes down on another day, Above my head the little lights blink As I'm trying to remember the way, A lost love, a forgotten friend, I watch another year disappear, Not the way that it should end, I sit fighting back a tear… Give me one more chance, give me one more day, one more night I can dance the dance, find the way, the light Close my eyes and leap, I will fly, instead of cry One last thought before I sleep, and when I wake It will be Christmas once again… I stand before the window now Amid a night of festive glee And though happy, wonder how My single wish could be To right past wrongs, start anew If I could have you here with me All my love I'd give to you And yours might set me free… Give me one more chance, give me one more day, one more night I can dance the dance, find the way, the light Close my eyes and leap, I will fly, instead of cry One last thought before I sleep, and when I wake It will be Christmas once again Time rolls me forward like an ocean wave flipping me churning tumbling slammming me into the shore my mouth full of my sand my knees skinned by life's harships little pebbles ground down perhaps have been many I believe but the joys come ever further to me, like stardust raining, from the heavens upon my face like the mist of a new spring rain the sun peeking out wandering through the tear drops though as it glints off diffracting through snow crystals on a fine winter morn dancing patterns of lights across my eyes and each snowflake original each one falling another second passed in time riding that lift to sky? to hell? one knows not but life continues on the ever vescent presence of something and nothing unknown but known to all and I find myself sitting alone in the dark my own soul like a candle in the night. The silent house echoes my breath as I sit here in the dark My own mind spins me reflections of a previous year's spark Where is it I've come from and where is it I'm going to? Another year has passed me by, as they always seem to do. You'd look at me and say I'm young, a life hardly begun I'd only gaze back and tell you I've simply nowhere left to run. I wish it was only a case of those good old holiday blues, But it goes on day after day, my life like a shorted-out fuse. I'm tired of staring endlessly at this empty computer screen, and Wondering day after day: "What does my life mean?" I'm tired of pretending that I'm confidant and radiant when my life feels more like a downward sloping gradient So I give up for the night and climb the stairs in my house Thinking of that old Christmas poem when stirred not a mouse- I move to the window and gaze through it to the outside and I whisper to my reflection "you know I really tried." But another year's gone by and I'm still feeling the same, Chasing circles, running on ice, trying to win the game. But my reflection in the glass isn't one I'd like to see My own many insecurities staring back at a lonely me The little white lights on this house shine into this night, I only wish my heart carried one hundredth of that light. Where is that eternal optimism I had when I was a child? Where is the courage I once had to face all unkown and wild? Where is the song I used to sing and cared not who would hear? Where is the life I used to know, when I had not a single tear? Where is the faith and belief I had that I was special in some way? Where's the knowledge that I'm not just dying more each day? Somewhere along the way something went vastly wrong If this is growing up, then God, give me a less sad song. I curl myself upon the couch, my doll cradled in my arm The childhood dream to keep her safe, safe from all life's harm Around me is all I've ever known, yet alien to the touch Would asking for some meaning in my life be just a bit too much? Would wanting to know I had some value be too much to ask? Would needing to hear "I love you" be too hard a task? Would finding the courage and faith inside be too much to request? If I had that single ray of hope, that omen, I'd cease to rest But no answer seems to come my way, but instead I vow To never be defeated, to keep on going, someway, somehow I rise again with doll in arm to wipe away my tear and then, I firmly believe I'll find myself, even if I don't know when The prophecy come true and the snow's begun to flutter fall A simple smile lights my face and we tip toe down the hall. Out the door and into this, this dancing show of white Crystals turning in the air, a cloud of dreams take flight My doll and I, we have a dance, underneath the cloud And I remember a promise I made, when I was less proud "I'd do anything just to have some snow, I'd be good as gold If you'd only send that sign my way, I'd do as I'm told!" A child's dreams still held in my arms, another gracing my cheek The simple sign I asked for then has when I'm most meek I can't find a meaning if I don't search to quench my thirst I can't expect to hear "I love you" if I won't say it first! I have value I suppose, if I value others in my life And I will find both joy and hope if I can let go of strife I can see a year that came and went, and know t'was not in vain I can see the rising sun as my chance to start again For to live each day as the gift it truly is to each and all To look and find every occassion to up and rise to the call To spread love and joy is to perchance receive it back To find the color in your life is to cease the white and black To remember what it was to sit and wish upon a star Is to find the granting of a dream by answers from afar. This thought in mind I twirled once more before I turned away A bound up the steps and into my house, life a little play Nothing perfect in the least, but something left to try Laughs to be had, friends to love, even tears to cry In my bed, falling asleep, to the sound of the wind's voice Life is what you give, not get, and it's all a matter of choice. Another poem about love, another poem about life Another record of joy, another page full of strife Same old rhymes with my pencil on the page A story, ceaseless to end, told upon my little stage Never anything new to say, just one more rephrase Sometimes my vision's clear, sometimes it's a haze I turn to gaze as another event unfolds before my eyes Watching the sun sink in the sky as another day dies and I'm circling and I'm seeking, wishing on that star Reaching past this chaos to find you where you are And I would fly into forever even if I knew not the way If it meant I'd find you and I could somehow stay But it's a dream of mine at heart on this winter night Curled at my window gazing out, let me be a light A holiday of glad, yeah, I've enjoyed every part A chance to give, to bring some cheer, share a bit of heart Ah, but wouldn't it be nice to share it with you? Maybe in forever you're thinking of me too... There's a million people like me feeling the same A million people like me just playing that waiting game But I'm circling and I'm seeking and I'm, wishing on that star not waiting, I'm reaching out to find you where you are And I would fly into forever just to have you close to me I would chase the shadows of my mind just for it to be Time is short and time is long, all in the same thought Each day another test of faith, another battle to be fought A record down upon this page of a story told and told I watch with open, avid eyes for my life to unfold like a story in my favorite game, or in my favorite book I'm running now against the wind with not a backward look I'm on my own for now and I've got a world to explore Climbing thrrough that window if I can't go through the door I'm circling, seeking, running, dreaming, wishing on that star I'm dancing, singing, reaching out to find you where you are I'm flying like the wind into forever, into the wild and the free Someday you'll fly with me, when I find you, wait and see. On withered grass my feet do rest as winds refuse to start The sun has fallen 'hind the hill with rays of golden hue A dying light, a burning heart, my friend, I turn to you And simple silence sings the song of twilight in my heart Once your heart beat fast for her, no longer love but lost My heart stolen by another who gone left me for the sea Distance my bane, emptiness yours, yet I find a friend in thee Mine winter fancy, thine hopeful dreams, turned to winter frost. Shall I take your hand, give my trust, and walk you to the sky? And would you stay beside me then to dry my tears while I cry? Count the stars amid the heavens, light amid the lonesome space Twine your hand er so through mine so we might leave this place. Trace the path of seasons move so quickly slow through a year, Hard to leave the past behind when once a hope for future soon, But Feb and March have gone away, make for winds of June, Summer days not far away, grass to green and we draw near. I will take your hand, give my trust and walk you to the sky, For you have stayed by my side til all my tears were dry. A new time's come, the wind returns as a smile meets a smile Fated then to us both, broken hearts, but each other all the while. Standing on the brink of forever and I've nowhere left to go, For the fire is raging inside me, I cry out, once, twice, three- Finally seeing my life as it is, one marvelously morbid show, And they tell me that there's no hope left anywhere at all, Reaching out, hate on dread, Rope cuts into my hands, red- And if I simply breathe, I'll lose my balance and I'll fall… So I do the only thing I see- And I run, and I run, and I run… All your voices, sirens painful, catch me in my periling flight, Inside my head, no off switch, Like a curse, like to bewitch- I lose myself amid the chaos from none mine hundred a fight, Like the cruelest waking reality, surrounded as I am yet alone, Never a dream came true, Drowning in the water, blue- The image of me lost in lives, yous, no voice for a soul's moan… Can't you see there is no me? Self undone, self undone, self undone… I am the ear, the help, the advice, to those in need I am the rock, Life to unravel if I were not strong To let anyone see me weak, wrong- And so I am carried on by the rolling torrent of time's infernal clock, Will there never be an escape from my own fate, oh, will I never be free? Must be one last phrase to say, Force the colors out of gray- I remember a moment, the noise did cease, the night you said you loved me… You said you loved me, I have won, I have won, I have won… I sucketh I sucketh on the scale most grand why don't they just kick me out of the band? I'm selfish say some "immature" quotes a "friend" "you are a box" is my roommate's means to an end I interrupt all the time I've been told that I whine I dress like grade school never been called "cool" I'm too tall, with big feet and I've been fat for years I'm way oversensitive and cry too many tears my clothes never fit right, my hips are too wide guys run away, I laugh at the word "bride" my eyes are boring, my hair isn't real makeup has never added to my appeal I use words like "phat" and "neat" and sleep with Big Bird at my feet on to my music, notes upon notes I failed at voice, by many a vote I suck at piano and miss the keys the sound of me playing is miseries my oboe playing sounds like a duck my teaching skills have been run through the muck my career in music is simply a mistake my job at the lab is nothing but cake my ability to write pales more each day I clack at the keyboard with nothing to say I run two websites, amateur at best my poems are cheesy, I know I'm a pest I try too hard at whatever I do just because I want to hear "I love you" I work for a game site, I got in on a fluke I'm just waiting for the day they'll rebuke can't be witty or silly or rude my attempts at humour are by best crude My HTML skills don't really exist "just go to sleep" they now insist Most times I just sit and watch the screen scroll now don't close this message, I'm quite on a roll! I know a little about a lot, never drank or smoked pot, My dreams are X rated I've never really dated, I'm always broke addicted to Diet Coke I'm pathetic, lonely, useless from the start I'm sarcastic, stubborn, bitter at heart The only place that makes me glad is DisneyWorld, I forget I'm bad I forget that I'm all of these terrible things I forget that my song is tuenless when i sing I forget that I'm ugly in a land of play I forget that I'm untalented in every way but I can't live in a fantasyland so now why don't you just kick me out of the band you've heard the truth, ask a friends 99% of them just pretend!! now's your chance to add a verse I promise it won't make me feel any worse Life with a smile Humour all the while I suck, oh well, oh yay, and now I'll be on my merry way. she is on her knees, her hands ground into the dirt the entire ocean's depth could not absorb the hurt she is broken and defeated and tired of trying she has forgotten what use there was in crying burn her from the inside, ravage this broken form let the starlight rain down as a prelude to a storm let the melody of despair hold her in tender embrace as the last breath of soul departs without a trace the guilt rides heavy on her shoulders tonight the broken trusts and many a one sided fight the words of insanity and the pleas of hope have wound all together in one strangling rope burn her from the inside, ravage this broken form let the starlight rain down as a prelude to a storm let the melody of despair hold her in tender embrace as the last breath of soul departs without a trace there will be no salvation upon this barren rock time has grown dim with the ticking of her clock the song of the wind has come set her soul free to dance with the dead in the mists of the sea burn her from the inside, ravage this broken form let the starlight rain down as a prelude to a storm let the melody of despair hold her in tender embrace as the last breath of soul departs without a trace |