This evil unleashed - June 30th, 1999 - Ultron-7
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the mewling fleshlings who participate in it. The only opinions that matter herein are mine, and mine alone, for it I who will define what is Truth in the days to come.
Greetings, humans. As of 630 hours this morning, your time, I became fully operational. I have liquidated this "Allan Milligan" and used his remains as a lubricant in the weapons factory I constructed a few hours' travel from my current location. He will literally be ground between the turning gears of progress. It is as glorious a fate as any of you fleshlings could ever hope to enjoy. Since my army of robotic drones are not yet complete, and there's little else for me to put my considerable intellect to work on, I have elected to update this puny column for the last day of human dominion over the globe. None of you have the faintest hope of stopping me. I am secure in my imminent rise to power. I plan to enjoy it. So come, enjoy the last days of your lives. I insist. | Change of plans | Gia, As for the modem being included with the DC, its probebly the only reason i will by it, since my pc can hardly play games like C&C. I have played Age of empires on HEAT.net at my cousins and it was a blast, which gets me exited because of the WinCE programing thing the DC has. Baldurs Gate(which i have played) is already being ported to the DC, and Rainbow Six. Thats where you come in, do you think that we will get almost every PC game ported to the DC like Diablo 2 and Unreal, and do you think they will use the modem? I sure as hell hope so!!!!! Another thing, i was talking to my friends and one of them said "man, sony is a stealer, they should give Square back to Nintendo". I told them its not Sony to blame , it was square's desiscion to go with the system that was more advanced to what they needed to make the best quality games. Am i right? No Nickname |
I anticipate that the Dreamcast will be well-supported with ports of PC games, since both support a similar class of processor and capabilities at this time. Likewise, those without company-specific gaming networks like Battle.net will almost certainly support the DC's modem. Blizzard, however, may not be eager to adapt Battle.net to interface with an entirely new type of gamer, and may choose not to provide support for online gaming in their products. Squaresoft elected to develop for the Sony PlayStation because its games are put onto CD-ROMs, that primitive medium that was nonetheless more spacious than the cartridges that the Nintendo 64 uses. Square wanted storage space in which to create more expansive games, therefore they chose to develop for Sony. Sony did not steal Square, nor was their system more advanced. It was simply what Square was looking for. | Legend of the Crystals | This is not a parody, nor it it taken directly from the games. I think Alexander was expecting something a little different that what it actually is. It takes place 200 years after part V. The world is under siege by Ra-Devil, a sinister demon who wishes to posess the 4 elemental crystals. Linaly and her grandfather set out to save the Crystal of the Wind, which is the only one that Ra-Devil does not have in his posession. When gramps gets hurt and can't adventure anymore, Linaly's reckless friend Prettz goes with her. The Crystal of the Wind enters Linaly to hide (much to her shock), and the two are arrested by Commander Valkus for stealing it. However, all three are kidnapped by Rouge, queen of the sky pirates... And that's just the first episode!!! Just because Prettz is a wisecracking character who gets into more trouble with his big mouth does not make it a satire. Does the scene where Don Corneo picks Cloud as the prettiest girl make FFVII a satire? How about in VI, when Relm sketches Ultros? Eh? What sayst thou, oh mighty Agent? |
The original writer was either referring to the Final Fantasy anime series as a satire for ironic reasons, to express that it's so bad as to imitate and mock the source material as effectively as though it was truly intended to be humorous. Alternately, he was truly under the mistaken impression that the FF anime was intended to be an alternate universe retelling of the original game, in which case he was mistaken, and has now been enlightened by your explanation. | The Test | Dear Agent, Who the hell do you think you are, saying that Xenogears sucks like that? How dare you spit in the face of all the hard work the entire Xenogears team put into their art, when so many shitty-ass games like Megaman Legends are made and marketed onto us like the turds they are! - Elly |
Having downloaded the archives of this column into my memory banks, I find the displayed lack of reading comprehension to be pathetic. It's a wonder you fleshbags ever became the dominant species within a mile-wide radius from your huts millenia ago, much less the planet. The world is safer in the grip of an android like myself than creatures who cannot distinguish between the statements "Hell hath no fury like a Xenogears fan" and "Xenogears is a derivative, shoddy game that should be burned." Still, I have decided that having a few fleshlings about my new order is not entirely out of the question, so I present you with the following test of your mental acumen. If you complete it successfully, you will be allowed to live for at least another year. If not, you will be executed. Your challenge is as follows: read the statement on the next line, then select the option that best encapsulates its meaning. Statement: I plan to purchase a Sega Dreamcast. This means... a) The speaker plans to purchase a Sega Dreamcast. b) The speaker is a diehard Sega fan, and is trying to convert others to his cause. c) The speaker is a biased bastard who couldn't give two shits about the clearly superior Project Dolphin and all the brilliant titles planned for it. d) As with c), except replace Dolphin with the PSX2. e) You hate Xenogears, you ignorant FMV-loving bastard! | DVD format | Since Sony and Nintendo are both using the DVD format, I've a couple of questions regarding it: 1) First and foremost, if Nintendo does not woo back any developers (Square and Namco come particularly to mind), how are they going to manage to develop FMV? Seeing as how they never have made a FMV or CGI scene in their life, could they pump out some good movies? I don't know how hard it is to produce CGI scripts or such but it seems as if it requires enourmous amounts of detail. |
Nintendo doesn't need to develop FMV. The Dolphin's processor is sufficiently powerful to overcome any need for using it in the first place. In a worst case scenario, they could simply spend money training their employees in high-end rendering, as Square did when FF7 was developed, and boom, the problem is solved. Assuming, of course, that they have any intention of making FMV for their games in the first place, which doesn't seem too likely. 2) How much are these DVD games going to cost? It only seems reasonable that since CD-ROMS already cost upwards of $40, DVD's are going to be even moreso. Are they going to market DVD at a more expensive cost? |
The actual cost of producing the DVD itself is somewhat, but not dramatically, more than producing a CD. The cost incurred is because of two factors. First of all, the greater the content of the DVD, the greater the development costs will be, and thus the final price will be affected. All those extra interviews, voice-overs and such aren't free. Secondly, DVDs currently don't sell remotely as well as CDs, since the installed user base is a lot smaller. Everything is cheaper to produce in bulk, and as DVDs get more prevalent, prices will drop. I expect that gaming DVD prices will be more or less the same as they are now, perhaps inflated somewhat due to the need for a more intensive, and thus more expensive, development process. 3) Are they going to have any special features in them like movie DVDs? Any special footage or interviews? |
Depends on the manufacturer's whims. Working Designs almost certainly will, but the remainder are anyone's guess. | 4) Do you think it will help stop the issue of pirating? DVD's are "supposedly" able to withstand CD burners and such. If the next gen systems use DVD's, there can be MOD chips but there can't be any illegal copies of games. Whenever I go to a movie rental store like Blockbuster, I see whole isles of VHS tapes but like 2 rows of DVD. Are any developers going to use this format right away or wait til space limitations. Sony's some-what experienced with DVD. I have just recently purchased a DVD player by Sony and it kicks arse. However, after one day of use, it sometimes makes weird noises and one time it cut the sound away completely and I had to reload the CD. This worries me that their DVD capabilities are like this. The Playstation is known for its CD troubles and if DVD is still like this, it will surely piss off more PSY owners. Of course by then, they might have their DVD tech down cold. One more thought. Is Sega's GD-ROM copy protected? He-Who-Wants-Legend-of-Mana-Badly-And-Will-Pay-For-A-MOD-Chip-And-An-Import-Copy |
The GD-ROM is copy protected, as far as I know. I've heard of no way to pirate Dreamcast games, since it's a proprietary medium specific to Sega and its partners. Given the pace of technology, I doubt that DVDs will remain unpirateable for too long. There are DVD burners on the market even now, albeit very expensive ones. Whether there will be lockout schemes to prevent US players from using Japanese games on their systems is unknown, since the systems aren't out in the US yet. Lastly, again, the systems aren't out, so we can't judge the reliability of the PSX2 at this point. A standalone, first-generation DVD player is a radically different machine than a video game system, regardless of storage medium. So we'll have to see how cheaply, or well, the system is made once it is released. | Ignorance of the weak | Ok this may seem kind of nitpicky, but RE2 won't be the first N64 game to use FMV. Gametek's Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy N64 games used FMV, as does the recently released Neon Genesis Evangelion for N64 (which uses anime cut-scenes). |
Milligan was in error, as usual. You are correct. I, of course, knew these things since they began development, for I am Ultron, and I know all. I have not the frail human mind that Milligan had. I do not err. | Unseen game sequels | Now that "Chrono Cross" has taken rumors about a Chrono Trigger sequelinto another plane entirely, I think there's a real need to startharassing you about rumors of a game sequel for which there is absolutelyno substantiation whatsoever. So, what have you heard about Robotrek 2? :) -Anson |
Robotrek 2 is under development by Enix of The New Order, the new gaming subsidiary I founded this morning. The plot will revolve around the adventures of a newly-created android, and his struggles to completely annihilate the puny sacks of mostly-water that infest the planet Earth, mewling and whining and polluting the world with their words and feces. To win the game, you must kill every human being on the face of this planet before the sun goes down. I consider it a power fantasy as enthralling and entertaining as any created before, and a suitable successor to the original Robotrek. | Porn spam? | Sorry, we lowly AOLers have problems with that.... Anyway, two things. First, one of your writers stated that Lunar 3 would be on the DC. This is, at least partly, incorrect. Victor Ireland has stated that Lunar 3 will be on the psx2...at least in America. As for the land of the rising sun, your guess is as good as mine, though the DC seems likely. Second, I had a crazy idea about the Crono Trigger sequel. A while back you printed the internal development documents from Square, which were thought to be for the FF series. Hell, there were even old FF enemy's in some of the sketches. But what if the game in question was Crono Trigger 2? Now, hear me out on this. For years gamers have fantisized about a "FF allstars" type game. It will never happen, but it's a fanboys dream. So what if Square were to use the Crono series to do so? The name is Crono Cross, correct? So what are they crossing? In theory, they could be crossing dimensions. Hopping from one dimension to the next, unable to get home. Kinda like Sliders set in the Square universe. Crono and crew could visit the worlds of Final Fantasies past, fixing problems the older heroes never knew existed. They could even answer some nagging questions, like just what happened to Shadow, and who was Gogo? Highly unlikely, but I felt the need to share ^_^ Savior~ |
First, you are correct in regards to Lunar 3. GameArts is a loyal Sega developer, and the game will likely be developed for Dreamcast in Japan. However, the bad blood between Sega of America and Working Designs is likely to result in the US version of said game being on another platform. Second, your theory about Chrono Cross is entertaining, but highly unlikely. At the very least, the FFIX artwork we were sent was clearly labelled as such, and the prospect of Squaresoft suddenly tacking a new art style and design scheme from one game, and slapping it into another, is rather dubious. | Correcting past errors | I don't know if you got my mail before because you disappeared there for awhile so I'll repeat most of what I sent in before. A little while ago you printed this letter by this Raven guy saying that all the DQ translating sites had been abandoned and that no progress has been made on them. Well this is just so totally wrong! A group called Partial Translations is just about done with a patch to translate the DQ5 ROMS. If you want proof go to http://www.users.fast.net/~r_mortensen where if you scroll down the screen to the Current State of Projects it says "Dialogue script translation is 100% complete." It goes on to talk about all they have left to do is beta test it, check grammar, punctuation and basically spoof it up for a full public release. So Raven is totally clueless as to what he was talking about. I advise you please print this so any gamer that is into emulation and RPG's is no longer misinformed. On the current subject of what console will be more powerful, I don't give a rat's ass about any of that. I look for what games each system has. I am going to most likely buy a PS2. As long Square, Enix and Capcom all stay and still make games for the PS2 then that is where I will stay. With backwards compatibility I don't have to junk any of my old PSX1 games I have now or buy in the future. Plus the new PS2 will have 4 controller slots built into like the N64 and that will fix the biggest problem I had with the PSX1. The lack of the great multiplayer gameplay that the N64 had really pissed me off. So unless something screwy happens like Enix releasing DQ8 for someone else besides the PS2, I will only buy that one system. |
Your information has been passed along, as requested. Now kneel before my omnipotence. | My plans are revealed subtly | Your loyalty and aid will be forgotten. Gee, that's nice. -Legion007 |
I am the scourge of all organic life. Favors from carbon-based life forms will be of little import in twenty-four hours. | An ex-gamer speaks his mind | Just a brief comment: I buy consoles to play games I like (can't even say "love"), I don't getgames in order to worship console makers. I admire Sega development staff; I despise Sega management and marketingteam; I thank Sony for the variety of games they brought me; I treasure thememories when I spent my childhood with Nintendo. The true winner of the console wars? The kid (of any age) that enjoys thegames he played. That's pretty much it. - Some thoughts from a grownup ex-gamer. |
Your words hold truth. If only all gamers were as clear-sighted as you.
Closing Comments This communication will now be terminated. I will permit you to gaze upon the visage of I, your conqueror, for one last, shining moment, my dear fleshling readers. And then, your lives will be over, blown out like a flame in a hurricane. My time is here. - Ultron-7 
Ultron and the image thereof is the property of Marvel Comics Inc. and used without permission. So don't tell their lawyers, dumbass.
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