Double Agent has been experiencing technical difficulties. As many of you noticed, the Recent Columns links have been fritzy for the past three days. Confusion reigned. What was going on, you asked? Well, it was a simple misunderstanding. See, the archiving scheme for Double Agent goes like this: lmmddyy.html. That's l, the month, the day, and the year. However, Drew didn't realize this, and uploaded his columns to the archive as lddmmyy.html, which not only messed up the links, but overwrote the columns for January and February 5th. Oopsie. Guess who forgot to explain this crucial piece of knowledge to the permanent fill-in guy. :) And, as if that wasn't enough, I forgot to switch the mailto: address in the blue box back to my own address yesterday. Gah. Thanks to those that noticed these errors. All of them are now fixed and cuddly as you please, and with any luck, they won't recur. | Same-sex romance | Hey there, Allan . . . I must agree with you on the same-sex couple bit. If I were a gamedeveloper, I'd put one in in a heartbeat. Sure, you'd get the people whowould refuse to play the game because two people have a romance and they-- gasp! -- happen to belong to the same sex, but in my opinion they canjust not buy the game. They'll bitch and moan, of course, because that'swhat everyone does nowadays, but it'd just create more publicity anyway. Good Reasons To Have A Same-Sex Couple In A Game: 1] Sheer originality. As far as I know, it's never been done. And anygay characters in games have always been portrayed as, well, pretty damndemeaning. Not that any are ever really SAID to be gay, but . . . youcan generally catch on pretty swiftly. They act stupid. I find itpretty damned demeaning, to be honest. 2] Story. I can see love triangles, very much confused by the fact thatsome of the members of said triangle are of an 'alternative' sexuality.Or quadrangles, or whatever. And the whole buildup-resolution thingcould be done well. Lord knows most romances in games nowadays [with anotable exception of Xenogears, which I thought handled it with only asprinkle of cliche] is boring and predictable as hell. I'd love to playa game with same-sex lovers just to see what happens to them. Are theyostracized by their friends? Accepted? What? There are more, but this letter's pretty longwinded as it is. Needlessto say, I'm all for a same-sex couple in a video game, as long as it'sdone WELL. No revolting translation, please. [Hint hint, Square.] Sunfall to-Ennien, patiently awaiting all the letters that lambast him asa radical gay liberal, which is right on only one account [hint: it's thethird.] |
See, I agree with you. Same-sex relationships open up a huge realm of dramatic possibilities that you don't get with straight people alone. Borrowing an incident from my own life, picture this scenario: there is a very attractive woman who is bisexual. On one side of her is a gay woman who has the hots for her. On the other is a straight male, again, attracted to the first woman. Thus begins a potential tug-of-war of emotions, where the central woman needs to decide what orientation she is, and whether that gels with either of the interested parties. (In the real world, the situation fizzled before it became interesting, with my hooking up with someone else entirely. Still, it could have been interesting.) | Mama mia! | Dear Agente, ( ha ha! little italian for ya ) Well, I don't know if we have ever gone over this before, or something similar, but what the hell happened to games that were just plain fun? The games where you could play for hours upon hours and never get bored. The games that you could bring your friends over and play a one on one deathmatch to end all deathmatches. Im talking about the Mario Karts, the Missle Commands, ( it may be old, but who hasn't played that before and miss it now? ) the Parappas, and my personal fave, Poy-Poy. I would just like to know what the hell happened! Did game companies get greedy and just shovel us these piece of monkey crap games? Have all the good game ideas been taken? What the hell is happening to the game industry? We used to have games everyone could play, and love, and enjoy. But now we've got these games like Fantastic Four, The Hulk, these piece of shit games that noone except a four-year old could enjoy...and even he would be sickened by it! Now i may just be ranting for no reason, because I alone cannot change a thing, I can't change the game companies ways, or their ideas on what a "grand" game is. And all you who say we can change it, we can make them see our plight...nope...thats just hopeful thinking. None of us can, Allan is right, nothing we really do will change a damn thing! All we can do is sit here and be force-fed these wastes of CDs. - Kevin Strange |
"The horror, the horror... !" Anyhow, I think you've got a pretty skewed perspective here. I mean, representing all modern games with Fantastic Four and the Hulk is totally unfair. There have always been loads of crappy games. There have always been crappy licensed games. Really, with the debatable exceptions of the Genesis Spider-Man, and the Capcom fighting games, can anyone name a good Marvel comics-based game? I think there are plenty of cool, innovative, fun games out there. I'd say that Carnage Heart is a truly fantastic game, and if you count the EZ version, it's pretty recent. How about the upcoming Shen Mue? On a personal note, I've been playing Elemental Gearbolt recently, and it's bloody brilliant. Quite honestly, if you can't find any games that are fun anymore, you're either picky as all hell, or not looking very hard. Hell, if you like PaRappa, pick up UnJammer Lammy when it sees US release. Smile. And for the record, my nominee for the most purely fun game out right now is Trap Gunner. Lousy graphics, but fun as hell. I'm *so* Vaulting that. | Feeling adventurous, are we? | You do realise that by the definition of an adventure you've given, Zelda isn't an adventure either? Ah poor Link - caught 'twixt fowl and flesh...I've always wondered, BTW, why do people always debate Zelda being an RPG or not with such intensity, while Alundra, a game which engine-wise _was_ Zelda is always baldly accepted as an RPG without question? Hmph. And how come none of you ever ever ever mention Diablo? Personally my perceptions of adventure games are shaped by the old Amstrad PCW - Colossal Cave, Avon, Bestiary and so on. On consoles I would class point-n-click extravaganzas such as Discworld as adventure games, and Resident Evil and Tomb Raider as Arcade Adventures (like an Arcade RPG, except with less calories). There you go - one non-sexism related letter. Ciaran. |
Interesting. Yeah, I know my definition excludes Zelda. Wondered if anyone would catch that, actually. Heh. Like you say, it falls in a gray area for me, neither fish nor fowl. As for Alundra, I guess the storyline is just so everpresent and the amount of plot so huge, compared to Zelda, that it fits neatly as an Action/RPG, rather than an Adventure title. That's my interpretation, anyway. I generally think of Diablo as a PC title, and since this is a console site, I tend to blank out PC game references. Still, it's a pretty solid example of an Action/RPG by my definition. We should probably cover it sometime, though the console versions are sort of unimportant compared to the massive coverage the PC version gets. Lastly, interesting definition of Adventure titles, especially the Arcade Adventure bit. Hadn't thought to divide them up that way. | Real letters, real passion | This time I'll try and get published by writing a regular letter instead of a randomly generated complaint letter. I've got a few RPG related questions.... 1) Has there been anything heard about Lufia 3 in a while? I remember hearing that it was in development again and its still up for a release on Natsume's website. Anything going on, on the Lufia 3 front? |
No word terribly recently, but we're going to be seeing Natsume at E3, so we'll see what we can find out then. If necessary, we'll have Big Lick unleash his patented Canadian Charm upon any female member of the Natsume staff. 2) Has Sony confirmed Grandia for an August Playstation release? What do you think the odds are that Grandia will make to the United States? |
100%. Babbage's lists it as an August 18th release, all sources at Sony confirm that it's coming, yadda yadda. I'm not sure if there's a formal press release, but it's in the bag, kiddies. And I'll be first in line to play it. 3) Do you have any idea how Xenogears sold here? I heard it was doing downright awful here which if true would be a real shame and would be sending the wrong message to all of the RPG making companies. |
It's my impression that Xenogears sold pretty well in the US. Not FF7 well, or even Parasite Eve well, but respectable, and the good press alone indicates that it's not considered a failure to the industry at large. 4) My last question is what do you think is the most that a person should for Lunar? I'm getting mine for $45 but I've heard that other places are selling it for a while lot more. Thanks for your time, Metnut99@aol.com |
The list price for Lunar is 69.99, so you're getting a superb discount. I doubt I'll get as good a deal as you. It's an expensive package, no question, but given what the product is, I've no compunctions about shelling out the bucks for it. I'd say the upper limit is the list price - $70 US. Most people will find discounts down to $60 or $50, both of which I consider eminently reasonable. | Political theory | Hey Allan, In your last column, you claim to support equality...well what could be more equality than communism? I think that communism is a great thing, where everyone is looked upon the same. I know! You could also change the column title to: "The Marxist Double Agent" Kalahari P.S. This is not an insult, or a joke. I am not attempting to be sarcastic either. I am a communist, which I take pride in, as should Double Agent. C'mon Allan, I know theres a commie in you somewhere... |
No, I'm not a Communist. And, answering other popular questions, I am not gay, a vegetarian, a virgin, a hippie, or a goth. I've got no beef with any of the above, but it's not me. At the end of the day, my favourite Marx is Groucho. | FF Collection dreams | Hey there Agent, As you know, Square has confirmed the US release of the FF Collection (or, if you prefer, FF Anthologies). So, we're getting FF5. Woop-de-frickin'-doo. Some game with pudgy sprites and another game translated by some drunken sailor who could actually understand Moby Dick. Oh yes, they're adding in a few measly FMVs to make the little people happy, along with load times and tinny music. Expect Square to make a half-arsed port instead of making actual enhancements to the game. Now hear MY suggestions... -Butz should be a rogue disco dancer and his name should be changed to Michael Flatley. -Two words: Pimp quote. -Square should be blunt and title the Anthologies "Something you dumbarses will pay for because you are idiots and will buy anything with an FF logo on it ha ha ha you suck." -Bring back FF4, but put it entirely in d00d5p34k. I can just imagine it now... R05A: "y0 c-c11, ur 1337 d00d!" C-C11: "5|-|u' uP |-|0 ba6!" [R05A slaps C-C11 silly.] -Place a notice on the cover scapegoating Ted Woolsey for any problems in selling the FF Something You Dumbarses Will Pay For Because You Are Idiots And Will Buy Anything With An FF Logo On It Ha Ha Ha You Suck (FFSYDWPFBYAIAWBAWAFFLOIHHHYS) -Jerry Springer should take Kefka's place. -Add "Kill piles of Tickle Me Elmo dolls" option to the Omake crap they're throwing in. For the children, people. -Tell the little people the truth and let them know that the "turn-your-PSX-on-its-sides" thing was an intentional design flaw of the PSX intended to begin the process of assimilating humanity into an alien culture which plans to tilt the Earth's axis. -Make Genreal Leo into a pretty boy, who will be rightly killed by ol' Kefka. -Intangir frm FF6 should be replaced with a Barney doll that has 1 HP and dies a horrible, horrible death. In fact, every enemy should be replaced with a Barney doll. It would be like FF7, except BJ wouldn't be swinging from chandiliers. -Put in Unnecessary Nude Scenes (tm FOX) -Code any PC ports into something OTHER than Pascal. -Put in programmers' rooms where the designers diss the corporate guys and make lewd jokes about last week's Seinfeld. And the final addition is... -Don't submit to Bill Gates... wait, it seems that Square is run by Bill Gates. Yaahhhhh, it's the end of the world! *runs off, leaving the rest of the world to become a festering hellhole for Square's zombification plans. --Sir Sparkle "The truth shall never be destroyed!" |
I think Legend of Legaia is going to go down in RPG history for one reason and one reason only, and that's for the pimp quote. Heh. What a way to be remembered.
Closing comments Only two more letters about the Gohan debate came in, so I decided to just let it die. I received less response to my adventure game definition than I thought I would, and considerably fewer comedy letters than expected. See, usually there's a whole slew of really silly letters on the tail end of a major, tense debate. Pretty quiet day, this time. Huh. Okay, in a blatant attempt to stir up conversation, I have a challenge for all of you. I want you to pick one RPG or Adventure game, and make up a short pitch for a movie based on said game. Yes, I know all video game movies suck. Assume that they could be good. Which one would you choose? What tack would you take? What aspects of the story would you cut, which would you play up, and what kinda of budget would you be shooting for? I'm curious to see what aspects of which games people would choose as essential for translation to another medium. So get to it. Or start new conversation. Whatever floats your boat. - Allan Milligan | | | |
