Double Agent

Okay.

All right, here's what we're up against today.

In the Deep Thoughts cornah, we've got three letters, long ones, about Final Fantasy Tactics, and the church thereof. I left off my own commentary because, really, it's not needed at all. Be warned that we wander a bit into the realm of real history, which is technically off-topic for this site, but what the hell, says I. It all springs from an on-topic discussion.

In the Agent cornah, we've got a bunch of good letters, one truly atrocious pun, and a long, angry letter that I disagree with almost completely. What else is new, ne?

And in the bottom left cornah, there's a strange sort of greenish fungus growing onto the wall. Ewwwww.

Floigan a dead horse

"Whither the Floigan family?"

Sega seems to be having a bad time as far as mascot games go. FirstBug, then Croc, now the eponymous Brothers. I dunno how I'm going to beable to preview the game for Seganet without sounding offensively cynical.But then again, I did manage to write a successful piece on "Roommate'sChatting Room" based on one screenshot and a four-line news item, so Iguess I'm capable of anything. But still, what the hell does "Floigan"mean? Who on earth came up with that one?

Oh, and on another mascot-related point, no knocking Bonk. Or at leastno lumping him in with Bubsy.

"Time to get your groove on and Bust-a-Mmgroove!"

The instrumental pieces are accessible in the Sound Test mode ofBust-a-Move/Groove. There's an option to turn off the vocals when you're playing the music. It's interesting to note that if you turn off thevocals of Kitty-N's track in Bust-a-Groove, you'll hear the originalJapanese version of the song without the vocals. It's too bad, in myopinion, because while I like the Japanese vocals better, I prefer theAmerican mix of the music.

Regards,

Rev. Dr. David Francis Smith.


I'm going to Hell for that pun, aren't I?

Bonk is a good mascot who starred in pretty good games (for the time, at least), who sadly had a name which didn't port too well to international markets. Find me a resident of the UK who won't cripple themselves laughing if you start discussing how he went around and bonked people. Just try. And, more to the point, Bonk suffered the ultimate of indignities. He was the lead spokesman for the Turbografx-16, he was their mascot, and he ended up starring in a Gameboy game. THAT is humiliation. That's why he's hitting the bottle nowadays.

As for the Bust-A-Move info, thank you. Everyone and their kid sister (hi, Annie!) wrote in to tell me that, duh, the instrumental tracks were available through the option menu.

Story unfolding like a map

Ok, SSSC=hype, hype, hype. Sounds really good. I'm kinda tempted tobuy the stupid thing. Question: will this game be more of a storyunfolding thing like FF7, or a game with a less invloved story-line likeSOM.

Before I get flamed by all the SOM fans (of which I am one), I am notsaying that it didn't have an involved story line, but it wasn't so muchof a story unfolding as, say, ff7 or PE. What I'm asking is, will I bewatching something like an interactive movie that I will love, or will Ibe dazzled by gameplay instead?

I_Am


I guess it's closer to FF7, then. The emphasis is clearly on the story, and development. But overall, it's got a much more traditional RPG feel than FF7 or especially Parasite Eve did, so take that into account. Picture FF4 with deeper gameplay and the occasional bit of FMV, and that's the sort of feel you'll be getting into.

Latin and Level -1 resurfaces

> I mean, it's a church, renamed the Ethos. You > fight God, renamed Deus for these purposes. [quoted from the April 9th col]

"Deus" is Latin for "God," so it's not even re-named... justtranslated. This is only barely-relevant, but I thought I'd point it outanyway.

Also, how do you get to level -1 on Mario Bros?.. or was that justa fake?

- Buck Wylde


Hey, I never said it was cleverly renamed. But to me, translating a word into another language counts as a very mild form of concealment. But renaming's probably the wrong word. Mea culpa.

The Level -1 trick in the original Super Mario Bros. can be reached via the method described in this FAQ, courtesy of GameFAQs. Love that site. Everyone should. And yes, it does work. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's not a lot of fun, really, but it exists.

Death of a memory

Hey there! I have a problem... my snes copy of FF2(4, whatever) isstarting to erase all my games after a couple of days. I remeber readingsomewhere long ago about old nes cartriges, and that the batteries godead... do you think thats what's wrong with my shit or what? and if so,HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET IN THE DAMN CARTRIGE WITHOUT BREAKING THE %&@&*PIECE OF %$#%!!!! sorry... if not, is there anyway to replace it?

-wrey


Sounds like your battery is, indeed dying. And since the Squaresoft that published that game has long since been shut down, I'm afraid you're kinda screwed. To my knowledge, there's no way to get it replaced or repaired. It'll only get worse.

This is probably the most compelling, and depressing, rationale for pushing Square to put FFIV back into the FF Anthology. I doubt their plans will change, but it's frustrating to watch the save game memory die slowly before your eyes.

Breaking in the new readers... that didn't come out right...

Greetings Double Agent!

I've been spending the last couple of days reading the back columns and letters, and finally feel that I'm caught up enough to risk sending a letter with the hopes it will be posted and/or answered.

First, I'm gonna do a small semi-rant: Why does everyone seem to complain about FF7? I mean, yes it sometimes is slow. Sure, it attracted masses of the d00d crowd. So what? I enjoyed playing it, and that's really all I care about. Get over the rest of it - either you liked it or you didn't. Stop whining, and act like adults.

There - I feel better.

Now for the general questions, both for you and your readership -

1) Do you think a RPG designed by fans here in the States, if they were given a team of programmers, equipment and a massive influx of cash, could produce the RPG of all time? And if so, what should we name it? ;)

2) How much, roughly do you spend on RPG's in a given year? Or, better yet, how many do you purchase in a year? Or heck, expect to purchase?

That's it - keep up the scarcastic wit, irreverant humor, and serious attitude towards fostering intelligent debate. You've gotten another fan.

Sean "Dark Matter" Achterman


First off, welcome to Double Agent. Always glad to see a new face. I piss off so many old ones that finding replacements is a valued thing. Hee. :D

Second, I think at this rate, we're going to see about four or five more major FF7 debates crop up, and then FF8 will be released. At which point we'll have an ungodly amount of debate and argument over that, leaving FF7 at the wayside, until at last someone comes out and says"Man, FF8 sucks, why couldn't it be more like FF7?" At which point I will scream bloody murder and tear off my own nipples.

As for the questions... 1) In theory, sure, such a project could create the great RPG of all time. Not likely, since most of the crew will probably be inexperienced, but in theory, sure, it's all good. I'd call it Bleeding Gut Wound.

2. I rent or borrow about every RPG that's released each year, though I confess I've skipped over Quest 64 and Legend of Legaia thus far. I generally only buy about three or four, but I've got some very generous friends who'll lend me games for ludicrous amounts of time, and vice versa, so my pool of games is a lot bigger. It occurs to me that I'll be screwed come September, when said friends will be thousands of miles away. Hmm.

Unparagraphed rage

You know, I at one point in my life thought Square (hey is it me, or amI the only person who thinks about videogames while in geometry class?)could do no wrong. Tobal no.1, awesome! Another Mind, why wasn't thisgame ported here? [Because it sucked - always helpful Allan] But now I'm pissed. I'm pissed not just at Square, butevery other Japanese RPG developer. The theme of the Japanese version ofFF8 was "love," but for the American version it's gonna be "action andadventure... with a little romance." What the fu*k!! I don't wantanother stupid action game. I want as close to the original concept ofHironobu and the gang as possible. Am I the only one? It pisses me offso bad that when RPGs get translated into English (which is always thecase, since I can't think of a good American made RPG), that they alwaysget watered down and the original power is gone. Why is this...? Thereseems to be two major excuses. A) Japanese developers think Americangamers are to dumb to understand complex RPGs. Now for most gamers, Iwould say this is generally true. That is is why stupid-ass sports gamesand babyishly cartoony N64 games sell so well here. But those peoplearen't the ones buying RPGs are they? No. I find that RPGers likeourselves are usually rather intelligent, and need more of a mentalchallenge than "action," stupid!! action! Love is a great topic, and asfar as I can remember has never been the dominant subject of any FF game[except maybe FF6, but there it really wasn't the love of two people,but a filial type of love]. B) Japanese game developers think Americangamers will be afraid of cultural differences in games. Now developersdo have a valid point here. It is true that many a gamers, includingRPGers, are so narrow minded that they flee away from games withparticularly Eastern tastes. This is why Americans had such a hissy-fitand bashed FF7 for being in superdeformed, when they found out FF8 wasgoing to more naturalistic, an idea more friendly to Western "we musthave over defined shadows" tastes. And y'know it's kind of a shame. JadeCocoon sounds like it's going to be a really great game. But I hear it'sultra Eastern in its look and attitude. I can foresee it now. This gameis either going to be left as is and not sell because Americans areafraid of it, or is going to be Westernized and not sell because theoriginal concept was bastardized and the game will suck. Now this is nottrue with all gamers. I know a great many are open-minded. That is whyso many gamers learn the Kana and import games. Or go to Japan asexchange students, or celebrate all the Shinto holidays...uh..., orwhatever. But I think if developers kept to the original then Americangamers would eventually embrace it. Maybe hesitantly and not at first,but I think ultimately they would. It's really a shame that Americangamers don't get to play RPGs in all their glory. Personally I'd like tosee well done exact translations, but I know I have a better chancelearning to speak Japanese fluently and learning to read all fivebillion Kanji before that happens. I think for American gamers to getthe most depth out of their games then attitudes, both Japanese andAmerican, need to change.

Paul Miano


My eyes are bleeding. All that text, so few paragraphs. Pain is overwhelming me, like watching a Facts of Life reunion special... Tootie... augh!

Okay, barring my annoyance with the lack of paragraphing, I find your logic sort of lacking. You heard that FF8 is going to be pushed as including more adventure and action in it, therefore you're ready to kill them for bastardizing the purity of the original game? That's nonsensical. It's going to be the same game. The last game I can think of which dropped any significant amount of text or meaning through translation, on purpose mind you, was Final Fantasy IV/2 US. This isn't the anime translation business, where companies often cut out major amounts of content to allow for syndicated distribution and broadcast on major networks. Video games are very seldom hacked to bits intentionally. Losses in translation are due to poor quality of the translation, something we'd all like to see fixed, not an active desire to "talk down" to the audience.

FF8 may well be pushed more for its adventure aspects than the theme of love. Okay, so what? It's the same game. They aren't about to make it into an action game. There will be no cartoony atmosphere added. The text won't live up the original, but that's due to lack of skill and care, not intent to dumb things down. Square is going to advertise whatever aspect of the game is going to appeal to the widest possible audience, and Love doesn't sell video games. This is not Japan, and replicating the advertising and sales techniques that appeal to Japanese consumers will simply not work, not now, not ever. We're two entirely different cultures.

I don't know where you've developed this attitude and belief that game companies are insidious, evil entities that go out of their way to dumb down games in translation. They don't. They will publicize them differently according to what audience they're shooting for, and the translations usually need a lot of work, but there's only one translation house that makes a habit of radically changing game text, and it's Working Designs, not Square.


Closing comments

Sachiel Kuromin wrote in to provide some links to the PSX utilities he mentioned in his letter about Bust a Groove yesterday. For the record, the PSX utilites can be found right here, plus there's an FAQ over here. Lastly, some documents explaining how to use PSXVideo and the XA ripper program can be downloaded here. There's other places to find 'em, but he figured he'd show where he found them. Thanks, guy.

Special, ooey-gooey thanks go out to Clyde Hudman today, so I'm plugging his new site, Gameaholics Anonymous. He's a lot smarter than I am, so you'll probably learn something there, too.

And remember, tomorrow is Q&A Day at Double Agent, which, if my luck holds out, will also include an important announcement. Announcing what? Am I pregnant? Getting married? Made of balsa wood? You'll have to wait and see, won't you?

- Double Agent

 
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