Double Agent

Today, I've decided to follow some readers' suggestions and approach this column in a more professional, mature manner, as befitting a professionally-styled and run site such as GIA. No sniping at people, no ranting, no irrelevent personal business.

Dragon Quest anime

Hey, you can find copies of the DQ anime athttp://www.capsule-corp.com

They're a very reliable and fast service. Just click on the titles A-Lbutton to get started.

-See ya!

-- Bob Mackey


Well. There it is.

Gameboys and Fritz's jobs

1. If you have a regular Gameboy can I still play new color games (namely Pokemon silver.) on my regular Gameboy. I don't have much money, and I don't care about graphics, so will I have to buy a color Gameboy?

2. I'm new to this site, and I'm a huge Cosmo canyon fan, so what sections does Fritz run/contribute to?

well that is all

~Dekar the bard


1. No. Your existing one will work fine. All Gameboy games to date are cross-compatible.

2. His primary duty is news updates and games coverage. Additionally, he does game guides, like the Legend of Legaia one currently on display, and the occasional Vault or Feature article.

Correction

Dragon Quest VI: 3,200,000 copies

Dragon Quest IV: 3,100,000 copies.

Also, on a talk show program in Japan, Yuji Horii (the creator of Dragon Quest) said he wanted to bring the Dragon Quest series to the Gameboy Color, starting with I, II, and III. So basically it is said that Enix is doing a remix of DQ1-3 in one Gameboy Color cart. But Enix says it's not in development yet. They are working on Dragon Quest Monsters 2 right now.

- Desmond Gaban


Interesting. I stand corrected on the sales issue - I'd heard otherwise, along the lines of 3.4 million for DQIV, versus an even 3 million or so for DQVI. But I'll trust Famitsu.

Internal Section

I know you guys cover less action-oriented games, but I know you used to runSquare Net so you guys should know this. I'm looking for a shooter fromsquare for the psx called "internal something". And I know it's notEinhander It's supposed to be a tempest type shooter. What have you heardabout a release date?


It's called Internal Section. It's already been release in Japan. It's supposed to suck pretty hard. I believe it.

Easter eggs

Hey, a few of those things are possible, hell I even did some of them! First off, its not all that hard to steal all of the gengi equipment from Elmdor, it takes a while, but its not all that hard. Second, the treasure that the thief in the esper cave in FFVI is talking about is the Atma weapon, which is easy to get. And in FFVII, I think there were 13 Sephiroth clones, but don't quote me on that. Fourth, I did get all of Gau's rages in FFVI. fifth, in FF Tactics, I let the counter reset, but it doesn't really reset, it just stops at 99:59. I hate to be nit-picky, but I had to do it.

Justin Freeman


Easter Eggs are hard to find or hard to do things in games, not impossible figments of our imagination. Level -1 of Super Mario Bros. is an easter egg. Aeris being revived in FF7 is not. Finding some of the easter eggs is not impossible. It's possible to have done all of them.

No PC games

I know that your site is for console-RPGs only, but on the old Square.net site Vestal drifted a little and added some info on Anachronox and Septerra Core, two PC, console-style RPGs in develeopment. I just viewed the Anachronox trailer and it looks mighty awesome. I was wondering if you guys were planning on straying a little and giving us some coverage on these sure-to-be-aweseome games.

- Tim


Nope. We cover console games only, no deviations. AV has since admitted that expanding and doing coverage of those two games was a mistake, and we're unlikely to repeat mistakes. More to the point, adding some PC RPGs which we deem to be "console-like" is an even more dubious tack for our coverage to take, beyond the murky quality of what an "intelligent" game entails. We're staying with what we know, what we can do well, and enjoying the rest on our own time.

UnJammer mania

((((((((((((((((((((IN SENSURROUND)))))))))))))))))))))

It all began one day when I was shopping for a Net Yaroze. It was one of those gifts your aunt suggests for you to buy when she notices you've been playing video games all day long. Of course, I was interested in the idea, and I said, in these very words: "Okay." And no, I'm not lying. Anyways, this was about a month after the Yaroze group decided to not accept any new members, so I was pretty damned unsuccessful at it. But while I was foraging for a new/used Yaroze, something caught my eye: The Japanese PSX site.

It was pretty damned cool. It was PaRappa everywhere. A shockwave on the main page. A bunch of frames designating how cool the game is. (Er, I can read a small bit of Kanji.) The way it should be. I'm annoyed with Crash Bandicoot and everything, and do I need to begin my hour-long discussion on why Lara Croft sucks donkey balls?

Anyways, I saw a cool flaming skull on the "Product Info" page with UJL on it. And I had no clue what it was. Seriously. Oh, and in the corner was some Romanji saying what remotely resembled "Coming Soon." Naturally, my curiosity was piqued, and since I had nothing better to do, I went to videogames.com and was about to do a search, but instead I found out that I didn't need to.

There it was, on January 11, 1999. In big, glaring letters, "PaRappa the Rapper 2 Announced." Jesus Christ. The game I had been waiting for was finally being released. God damn. Anyway, it was called UmJammer Lammy now, and it looked like the coolest thing that had happened to me in a LONG time, even though I thought the name was stupid. I opened ICQ and told Fritz Fraundorf (The only PaRappa fan as big as I am) that his prayers were answered. Remember, this is just after the breakup of CC.

Now, let me explain my PaRappa purity. You see, I've played it twice as long as I have FF7. And, as you know, the game takes about 6 minutes to beat. Which means that I must love it shitloads. I would have gotten the soundtrack if it weren't so damned tricky to get. I'm gonna place an order for the ultracool alarm clock that's supposedly used by the head designer of Grim Fandango. Anyhow, I opened up the preview, and looked at the ad.

"MARCH!"

"(Er, something in Kanji I don't understand)

"(See the last one.)"

Then I saw a gameplay movie, and I'll be damned if my eyes didn't turn into hearts like PaRappa's did. Except with one minor difference. I needed it. I wanted it. I knew I had to get it as soon as humanly possible. And so far, it's going splendidly.

Take, for example, the GameShark I bought for no real reason. Well, it's not a real GameShark, but it's a third-party thingy that plays imports and stuff without entering codes. So I'm modchipless, and thus can play Japanese games whenever I want. Er, if I had any yet.

Next, I did a large, kickass project involving several broken systems of mine, and thus aced a few classes during the third quarter. Meaning a cool $200 to waste. On GameCave and their owning of the game I consider godly, if not more.

After that, I downloaded about fifty gameplay movies and am watching them on continuous repeat. I own some video editing software (Coincidentally) and have edited out the annoying high-pitched beep at the beginning of all IGNPSX movies.

Maybe the old, naked strange man in the clouds living with my two dead dogs is actually giving me a break to play the hard, yet insanely fun sequel to a game I already love. Maybe I'll be able to finally hear the heavenly guitar solos and see the jillion-functions-a-second-with-no-slowdown Fire stage. God damn. This will be on the short list of "things that have actually worked out perfectly for me" list. All that's left to go wrong is GameCave sending my lovely import to the wrong house.

All that's left to do is screw around and watch the trailer a million times. Patience...........

-Cedric "Lobsterboy" Henry


Enjoy.


Closing comments

Well, wasn't that fun? Isn't professionalism an interesting and entertaining thing? Aren't you glad I dispensed with everything that might offend or annoy one of you, out in readerland?


I trust my point is made. THIS, my friends, is what happens when I decide to kowtow to reader and editorial demands. THIS is Double Agent under the auspices of professionalism. THIS is what a lot of people have been demanding of me. I've been flamed, and sniped at, toldagain and again that I should never ever respond to outside forces. I should be better than that. I should turn the other cheek. Yeah, well take a good, hard look back up at that column. That's what inoffensive is like. That's what playing nice is about. And you know what? I want no part of it. I'd rather be rude and completely in the wrong than boring and complacent.

Fuck professionalism. I've got a column to write.

- Double Agent

 
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