Doot de doot. Well, in comparison to yesterday, today's column is outright tepid. People apparently got a little frustrated by the unrelenting anger put on display in yesterday's column, and decided to start some new discussions, and even, heavens to Betsy, just share some information. Nifty, no? But Double Agent just isn't Double Agent without a prevailing wind with a tinge of flames on the edge of it, and by god, have we got a winner today. It's fallout time from our corroborated-by-multiple-sources FF Collection story. And man, it goes to show you that the old adage that you can't please everyone all the time is very, very true... | Square Nazis must die! | Dear Double Agent, I can't believe this. Square finally deigns to bring the FF collection, with FFV, to us Americans, and they cut out the greatest game ever made, FFIV! How fucked up is that! What, do the Japanese see themselves as a master race? I'm sick of being treated like a moron because I was born in North America. I'd like to give Herr Sakaguchi a piece of my mind, and tell him where to stick his elitist attitude and shit it out. - Jeffrey |
Okay, most of the responses about this were a LOT calmer than this one (not a difficult task), but it sets up the major themes of the complaints re: not having FFIV in the US Collection, so here we go. Essentially, a lot of people are beating down doors, setting up petitions and writing angry letters so FFIV can be included in the Collection. The problem being that, simply put, putting out FFIV again would be a very costly venture for Square, for little or no gain, and potential humilation as well. As our news story notes, the PSX version of FFIV is actively inferior to the original, with less than three minutes of FMV to spice it up. It'd get thrashed, review and public perception-wise if it was released in the US. Moreover, while it'd be nifty to bring the game to a new audience, especially closer to its original form, the two office changes since the original game was released in the US, and the switch from Easy to Hard Type would necessitate a complete retranslation of the text. Which is a costly venture. So, let's recap. Releasing FFV in the US requires a translation, but is a new game to the US market. Releasing FFVI involves reusing an existing text translation, probably with some editing, and boasts significant additions in the form of substantial FMV. Releasing FFIV involves completely retranslating a very old game that's already been seen in the US, and the remake is actually inferior to the SNES version. Hmmm. Tough one. We've all read accounts of how much was slashed out of FFIV for the US version. Would it be nice to have it? Sure. Don't get me wrong, here: I'd be very, very happy to see FFIV included in the collection. But the letters today beg a question to be asked: is it so completely anti-ethical for gamers to be happy with what we are getting? We're getting Final Fantasy V in the US, after years of waiting and begging, and it takes us all of ten seconds to find a new crusade to string up Square for. And to me, that's just sad. Can't we all just be happy about something for once? Please? If FFIV Hard Type is really that important to you, download the translated ROM. There's a lot of reasons why FFIV was excluded. Accept them, let them go, and enjoy what we are getting. Be happy.
(Oh, yeah. Ten points to anyone who can ID where that letter title is taken from.) | And now, for something completely different | Have you ever thought that if Brian GlickÇs name were, say, Paul orPeter, his nickname would be Pig Lick? That would be cool! Hum... On the other hand, it wouldnÇt be cool. It would just be weird. Oh, well. |
Ah. So good to see that, whatever changes time may bring, weirdness is eternal. | Dreamcast games rule the day | Hello double agent. You didn't tell me last time I asked, what othersite do you work for? Are you Thor Antrim in disguise? Anyway, I don't think Clyde Hudman was accurate in saying most peopledidn't like Final Fantasy VII for the reasons he said. A number of myfriends had never played an RPG before bought FF7 for Playstation orthe PC version. Every one of them said they liked the game. To quoteone of them, "Unlike most PC games, it (FF7) actually has a point." As far as I know they all want FF8 when it comes out. Sega's proud of their hardware. They should be; the Dreamcast is afine piece of equipment. (Although I don't know how well it comparesto Sony's and Nintendo's next consoles yet, the DC sure looks goodfrom the specs.) But one of Sega's big mistakes is to promote thehardware. Why hasn't Sega hyped up the actual Dreamcast GAMES yet? If they show DC game screenshots in magazines, they should speak forthe hardware as well. The console wars of September '99 shouldn't be "FF8 vs. Dreamcast." They should be "FF8 vs. [Sega's favorite DC game]." If Sega can putthe same marketing campaign into one of their games that FF8 will get,they can use the "128-bit vs. 32-bit" argument much to their advantagethis September. This is what I think Sega needs to do if they want the Cinnabon to besuccessful, but why haven't they done it yet? Sadly, it looks likethe Dreamcast will go the same way as the Saturn unless there is a bigchange soon. Personally, I'm not too excited about the DC and probably won't buy itunless I see some more really cool games soon. I'll be off in thecorner, rooting for Nintendo. |
Ah... very, very good point. Does anyone, perchance, have a list of the DC's launch titles? I'd suggest that they find a high-profile RPG or strategy-type game to add to their launch, to appeal to the growing RPG market. Sort of a direct response to FF8, saying "Dreamcast has all that AND (rest of cool games they have)!" Cover all their bases. And as I said before, I can't tell you who else I work for besides GIA, or I'd have to kill you. I can, however, assure you that I'm not Thor. I'd probably smack anyone who ever called me Sexypants, if nothing else. :) | More DC launch stuff | Dear Allen or Allan,Clyde's right. He always is even though I don't want to admit it. Many peoplethink that FF8 is gonna crush the dreamcast. I don't really see it like that.If you've read EGM or one of those magazines it told you about the JapeneseDreamcast commercials. For anyone who may not know the president asks kidswhat they think about Sega and they say it stnks and they want a playstation.He then awakes in his office. This signifies that Sega knows it has mademistakes in the past, and are poking fun at themselves about it. To me, comeSeptember there will be a battle of epic proportions with my cash. If Segafollows it's Japanese advertising campaign and then a litte more. Square mightfind itself holding the short end of the stick (what does that saying meananyway?). And if Square ends up on the losing end (which I predict it will) Iwant to see them adapt to the new challenge. P.S. Say Hi to Fritz for me Peace Out, Owen Humphreys |
Sounds like a neat commercial. If that's the tack Sega takes, they may well do nicely. However, that doesn't mean that Square's in any trouble whatsoever here. Much as I, and others, discuss this as a FF8 vs. Dreamcast war, it's not that clear-cut. It's not an either/or proposition. FF8 is one game for an established system, that is and will continue to be hyped up the wazoo until the day it's release. It's Big Name Game for September, and it's gonna sell extremely well, no question. There's no "lose" situation there. Sega, on the other hand, is selling a system and the games for it. It's creating a user base, whereas FF8 is using one. Big difference in terms of intent and target audience. What Sega needs to do, in order to really make a splash, is to steal Square's thunder somehow. They need to be the #1 story of that day, not the second act. FF8's gonna sell, but Dreamcast needs to make itself the big news, or it'll be total humiliation for Sega - on the launch of their trailblazing new system, they're in second place. Bad place to be. Sega needs to make Dreamcast the system on everyone's lips. Square's already sold their product. Sega needs to beat them. | Educational demands | Hey, Milligan.... Just felt I'd break up all the rantin' and the ravin' with some niceinfo. 1) Most people get the "cosmo" reference in Cosmo Canyon, but I think itmay have been named after "Chaco Canyon". Chaco Canyon was the hub of aNative American community of people known as the Anasazi. The kicker hereis the fact that they were apparently quite interested in the heavens, andsome of their building's appear to have served as stellar observatories.Archeologists have found petrographs of what look to be pictorial records ofHalley's Comet and the Crab Nebula, among others. I came across this infoquite by accident and thought people might find it interesting. Besides thesimilarity in names, both the fictional Cosmo Canyon and the real ChacoCanyon have to do with astrological study and, of course, there is thatNative American connection. Heavens, but I love this stuff. ^_^ 2) A Turk is a person from Turkey, but I believe the name for everyone'sfavorite assassins came from another meaning of Turk which is a "cruel ortyrannical" person. Seems to fit the Turks of FF7 pretty well, methinks.... 3) Yeah...well...I have some Xenogears stuff too, but I never did get toread that part of the Name Origins list, so I can't be sure what was alreadythere and what wasn't. C'mon, Allan, get that list up. I've surely annoyedyou about that enough by *now*...heh heh.... =) ~ David Barton |
Okay, okay, okay. Name origins list. Got it. Coming. Soon. Will do. | Success of translation | Dear Mr. Milligan, My friends and I were recently having a debate on whether or not FF7 could be considered a successful translation. Sure it has been blasted and destroyed for poor grammar, bad spelling, and a general lack of high-school quality English, which we all generally agreed were prerequisites of a good translation. But then one of my friends brought up an excellent point, that in my mind proved that FF7 was a good translation, my friend mentioned the weapons. For those of you who don‰t know the Emerald and Ruby weapons didn‰t even make it into the Japanese release hence when the American product came out it was much improved over the Japanese fare. So improved that in fact square decided to release the American versions in Japan (FF international). So when FFVIII comes out in Japan I would prefer it if the localizers of it don't bosses over the grammar (well if they bosses a little) but work in improving the quality if the game. - Tyler Bowlin |
This is a valid point. FF7 did boast some nice revisions and improvements over the Japanese original, and that was a nice show of faith from Square. So, props to them for that. I still contend that the text in FF7 made the plot needlessly difficult to understand, not to speak of the grammar and spelling errors, which in my book counterbalances the tweaks and extra bosses. In a game where story is paramount, a translation that obscures the storytelling is a Bad Thing. In the balance, I'd say that the US release of FF7 was a good localization project, but hampered by poor text translation. How's that? | Information session, part two | Due to the lack of "Actual Information" in the Double Agent column, Shawners"That Insufferable English Bastard" Cooper proudly makes the followingpublic service announcements. 1) Questions are generally more entertaining than rants, and lead to fewerinstances of cardiac arrest, asymptomatic aneurysms, and apoplexy. Thisletter ignores the preceding fact for the most part. 2) It is generally wise to avoid swallowing your video game controller, asit can cause mild difficulty breathing and swallowing food or drink. 3) Dr. Mario game paks do not contain the necessary vitamins for a healthydiet. 4) This public service announcment is neither, being a disservice tovirtually everyone, and limited to the few people who will visit this G-I-Acolumn in the limited period of time this letter is present. 5) All people are wonderful unless they are not. This ends Shawners "That Insufferable English Bastard with the nickname thattakes too long to type" Cooper's not-so-public disservice announcement.Interested women, men, llamas, and violent column hosts can contact theauthor at "shawners@ameritech.net". |
Warms the heart, doesn't it? Oh, and out of curiousity, if I chew people out and rant regularly, but never actually strike anyone physically, do I count as a violent column host?
Closing comments Prediction: the thing that I'll get the most mail about tonight will be the FFIV not in the Collection thing. Twenty bucks says I'm right. As an aside, Brian M. appreciates the praise for his Yas Noguchi interview. I've got a lengthy response to it to post up tomorrow. I disagree with almost everything said in said response, but it's going in Deep Thoughts anyway. Watch for it. Also, some people asked how Tales of Destiny did, sales-wise, in the US, and what the official word on Tales of Phantasia in the US is. The former, I'm looking into. The latter is a solid Maybe. Very sorry. Wish I had a better answer, but Maybe is all we've got. - The Double Agent | | | |
