Live the game - December 2nd, 2001 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Hey, kids, rock and roll. Nobody tells you where to go. Don't say we didn't warn you.
As is typically the case with a topic steeped wholly in opinion, the responses in today's column are pretty succinct, and tend to be irrelevant banter on my part. I prefer to think of it as a "minimalist" column. I'm sure you can think up plenty of words of your own for it, too.
Although, hey, this is the first time in a while my introduction has actually been relevant to the column itself. I guess I blew my entire cache of relevance in one fell swoop.
| Keeping it real |
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Considering how many times I get hit, zapped, killed, cut, slaughtered, slapped, whapped, poked, prodded, frozen, set on fire and just plain whooped in just about every RPG I play I would never want to be in a RPG world as one of the main characters in some sort of parallel real life. I'd rather settle to be one of those guys that walks in a predetermined path saying the same humorous thing over and over again. I think I'd rather stay in real life living other lives through fantasy so I can stay out of the hospital thank you very much.
-Pendy
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Point taken, although I should probably have phrased things better yesterday: I wanted to know what game world readers would live in were it a living, breathing place, rather than operating under the constraints of the video game format. In other words, take FFVII: there would still be Mako infusion, magic, materia, etc., except the people would have their own lives and will, rather than spouting off predetermined lines and watching blankly as you robbed their homes.
Then again, a world where anybody could buy magic or weaponry in a local shop would probably be pretty dangerous. Fortunately there's no real-life places where anyone who wants to can walk into a shop and procure deadly arms. That would be insane.
| It's not my fault I'm illiterate |
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Drew -
First off, I didn't say that a good FF should be like Xenogears, I said that
even during that time period where all Sqaure did was push Final Fantasy,
they still made good games that were in no way connected to the series.
Although I definatly agree about that whole random encounters thing. As much
as I didn't like Chron Chross's execution, I enjoyed the battle engine(or
lack of a need for one) immensely.
As for my living game world? I would probably live on Lunar, where adventure,
Dragons, and babes abound, and wherever you go, you are met with witty
sarcasm and music that Enya could have written.
What's not to love?
OK, well the fact that some of those dragons are in reality small, annoying
cats with pissy attitudes, whiny voices, and superiority complexes that match
my own. But other than that...
Peace,
Ray Stryker, about to place the Enya cd directly between Fear Factory and
Iron Maiden...
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In your letter yesterday, you said that "they still put out quality non-FF titles" in reference to Square. I sort of read that as a contrast: quality, non-FF titles. I guess I mentally added a comma or something, misinterpreting what you were saying. So, uhm, yeah. I'm a retard. Anyway.
Lunar was a pretty popular response, actually. I figured since I incorrectly said you said what you didn't say, I'd make it up to you printing your Lunar letter. I'm always cool with charity that involves no physical strain outside of clicking a few keys on my keyboard.
| I'm tired of other people having opinions |
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In response to your response about my "bashing" a
Square game, I happen to be one of the many people who
bought FFVIII because of the name. I am a huge Square
fan and love all their games except for this one. I
was just trying to state the point that even though in
my OPINION VIII was below their usual standards, I
still went out and bought IX the day it was released.
No one can be so much of a Square whore that they love
every single
game they've ever made.
Sylvia
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...and now to take the focus off of my own inability to properly parse English by needlessly correcting someone else. Actually, your exact words were: "Even if a sub par game is made (FFVIII), it doesn't effect the high sales of the next game released." I fail to see where you made it evident that this was your own personal opinion. It looks like a pretty cut-and-dry case of assertion to me. Nevertheless, point taken. I'll forgive you this one time.
| Wasted youth
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Well, none of those worlds in recent Squaresoft games, that's for sure. They all feature these incredibly young teenagers as the main character (Sion, Serge, Squall, Zidane, Tidus). And their girlfriends are equally young. So if you're over 17, you're basically an old, boring fogey who's always stuck being the minor character and who just accompanies the main character for no good reason other than you've got no life. I'm no longer a teenager (just turned 20), but I'd like to think I'm still young and sexy. . . . Oh crap. Please tell me I'm still young.
Paris
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Hey, you're younger than I am, if it makes you feel any better. Although I distinctly remember feeling a tad depressed the first time I realized every single character in the RPG I was playing was younger than me. But hey, look at it this way: you've got 10 good years of life yet! Now that the specter of Death is breathing down your neck, you'll appreciate every minute on this planet all the more.
This pep-talk is really getting me down.
| Forestpooping: the coolest new verb around |
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Hi, Drew
"...if you could reside in a living, breathing version of any game world,
which game would you go with?"
I was initially going to say Final Fantasy 7, simply because every town has
at least one fairly decent bathroom (there's a lot to be said for creature
comforts, y'know).
Upon further reflection I decided to go with FF8, playing the role of Squall
Leonheart.
Pros:
- You get to live in Balamb Garden: bed, bathrooms, food; it's like living
in a Holiday Inn!
- You have demigods at your beck and call. "Shiva, fight the monsters for
me, would you?..." "Shiva, go level up for a few hours and tell me when my
MAGpower maxes out..." "Shiva, my shoulders are a little stiff, could you--?
ahhhh..."
- Quistes Trepe
Cons:
Well, you do get your face sliced open in the first scene, but.... I think
the rest of it kinda makes up for that, eh?
-Friarjohn (If there's no bathrooms, it means they all hafta poop in the
forest. Remember THAT the next time you play such "great" games as Dragon
Warrior or Phantasy Star. The only real character class in those games is
FORESTPOOPER!)
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Ah yes, the infamous bathroom discrepancy. If they wanted to make RPGs more realistic, there would be about 15 well-placed, highly visible women's rooms scattered throughout town, with a single men's room hidden in a broom closet or something.
| Living not-so-large |
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Which game world would I live in? Shenmue. I'd like to be a delivery
lackey for the soba shop.
-Anson
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It's good to see some readers have realistic dreams.
| I think Quistis is available, though |
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Come on Drew, that's a no-brainer :
the final-fantasy world, so many pretty ladies there !
yum
-Daniel
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The only problem is that you'd have to beat off their main character love interests, who generally are powerful enough to punch God to death.
And now, for your reading pleasure, lots of letters without responses:
| So many words! |
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Hell-o,
I'd choose to live in the world of Xenogears. I was quite amazed by
characters and the story. In fact, my addiction to the game was so bad
that I finished the game in about a week and a half. I bought the game
when Final Fantasy Chronicles came out, and since I was too lazy to get
a real job to buy a car, I had plenty of time to play the game. I would
play the game as soon as I came home (6pm) and play until I felt too
tired to play (2-5am, I'm quite a night owl after all), and then I'd get
up at 12am, get lunch, and hang around my parents business, catching up
on all the latest gaming news on the internet, and come back home at 6pm
again to repeat the cycle. In other words, my life revolved around the
game for that short amount of time.
And I don't think it was long enough. I would gladly forsake this
stupid, freaky world for more important matters such as helping Fei save
his world. I would love to actually meet these characters and be in
their world, and actually see what's past the credits.
But unfortunately, it is completely fictitious; I am separated by
the goddamned glass screen, and the only thing behind it, really, is a
steady stream of electrons which is probably further destroying my once
perfect vision.
-Frank Green, hoping that they won't screw up Xenosaga like they did
that spawn from hell, Chrono Cross, and if I were to live in a game
world I'd also like some of Mitsuda's music to be played everywhere in
the world, too
Drew,
If i could reside in any gaming world, i would reside in Nintendo's Warehouse, because Gamecube rules for one reason... It has a handle.
- Dustin Hubbard
Yo Drew-
Probably a choice betwixt Saga Frontier 2 and FF Tactics: both are
lushly illustrated with a rich sense of history and many interesting
locales, and while both are medieval, neither one seems to have much in
the way of death plagues or sewage-in-the-streets the way the real
middle ages did. And while SF2 probably has the edge in gorgeous scenic
environments (while not quite being as trippy as Legend of Mana), if I
lived in the FFT world, I could be a Dragoon with Calculator abilities.
Ah, decisions, decisions...
-coldjones
Dangit Drew,
You made me think. I now officially hate you...but I'll still read and send
it letters. It is insanely hard to name one game world where I'd like to
live, but I think if I had to choose I'd have to take my absolute favorite
game of all time and say FFIV. You have magic everywhere, lotsa swords and
stuffs, dwarves, summoners, Lunarians, and airships that can go around the
world in 6.3 seconds...and the people still stat on deck. You have a city
rules by women whose guards dress in leotards and go nude sunbathinng just
around the corner, a city of Ninja ruled by a perverted Ninja Prince, a city
of mages with a psycho kid and his sister to provide endless comic relief,
another city of Monks who say achoo and can kick 3 goblins to death
simptaneously, and then there are Dark Knights, and Golbezes, and
everything! It is the kinda world I would love to live in, cause it has
magic, is not in the middle of an industrial revolution ( I hated the way
those thingies appeared in FFVI, all the steam engine stuff), and any place
that has a belly dancer chick kinda hanging around every town has got to be
good.
Oh, and despite everything, I will never be the wussiest person around cause
Gilbert is chilling and writing lame love songs in his derstroyed castle.
Efrate, starting up FFIV once again in memorium.
I've thought long and hard about this, mainly because I'd rather not be
killed after the hero decides to go for a walk around outside the
village. I would have chosen FF6, had it not been for the world being
nearly copletely destroyed. Therefore, being a coward, I choose King's
Quest. It contains dwarves, Wizards, and the like, but noone seems to
actually die in it except the baddies and the hero. I don't like dying.
Nope!
-Arawn
I'd kill every last one of you for a real, geniune, fully-fuctioning
suit of MagiTek armor.
~Ian P.
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As you can see, I got quite a few good letters on today's topic; that was the only way I could even come close to printing a reasonable number of them. I guess what I'm saying is that I like to get you interested in a topic, then clump all of your letters together, failing to offer any sort of commentary.
Closing comments:
I'm getting back to studying for finals now. I think you should contact Erin. Why? Because you want to participate in this discussion: do you ever see the GBA becoming a premier platform? Or was Golden Sun just a shiny coin in the bottom of an otherwise murky fountain?
-Drew Cosner
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