Double Agent
Fight scene - July 28, 2001 - Nich Maragos

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Time machine go! Don't say we didn't warn you.

May as well be another free topic day today, what with the random assortment of mail I got.

However, there is one topic I will not touch, and that's the relative merits or shortcomings of Final Fantasy VIII. It doesn't matter where I stand on the issue--I'm tired of it, and not going to answer another letter about it. Surely we can think of something new to talk about rather than drag out that old thing again.

Saturday night's all right for fightin'
Alan Moore in an easy victory. Grant Morrison has that crazy streak, Warren Ellis knows how to kill people for good, and Frank Miller has dark thoughts, but Alan Moore can write the psychos - John Constantine, Miracleboy, Commisioner Ultima....and he even looks the part, as a glimpse into the top-writers category of "Wizard Magazine" would show.

-KZ

I'm surprised Alan Moore's even in contention for this one. He's getting on in years, he's never been known for writing tough-guy stuff (let alone living it) and he's got all that hair in the way. Spooky guy, but in this case I think he'll be the first one on the floor.

Miller's a tough nut, that's for sure. They say write what you know, and Miller's the author of books where the main character has taken more than one bullet of the years only to come out on top time and time again. As for Ellis, well, let me quote a bit from the author bio in the back of one of his books:

"Warren Ellis has killed over forty people in single combat over the last two years. Eight of them died by Ellis' bare hands and teeth. So let's have no more smart comments about the English and their bad teeth. He ripped out their throats and bit their hearts in half. That takes good teeth. Hearts are hard. Dense and chewy. You couldn't do it."

All that said, I give this one to Morrison. Not only is he one of the craziest bastards ever to walk the earth, he's in much better shape than any of the others. He's been attending Jeet Kune Do lessons fairly regularly these past few years, after all. But if all that wasn't enough, Morrison can out-magic any of 'em. Moore talks a good game when it comes to mysticism, but Morrison's the only one who ever saved his own comic book by launching a distributed charged sigil in the letters column. Maybe Chris and I should try something like that in Double Agent to save the GIA, although I'm not sure if the disclaimer would cover us if we went that far ...

(For people who have no idea what any of that was about, the four contestants are all writers of comic books and graphic novels aimed at mature audiences. Give one of them a try sometime.)

A Game to Kill For
Just so that I can say that I am not completely off topic, I think that some of the PS2 peripherals will be worth buying. Once they get REAL cheap, that is.

Now to what I really wanted to say. I have been looking for a copy of FFT for months. But I am not crazy enough to $60, $70, or even $80 dollars for one. Thank you Square. Thank you Square's Greatest Hits. Thank you dad for not letting me use your credit card to buy a copy for $60 bucks. And thank you GIA for telling me about the rerelease of FFT.

-relsky, who has already called Babbages, Wal-mart, and K-mart to see if they would give me a copy early.

No charge. Just don't forget to hit our ad banner a couple times, or maybe donate?

All Over the World
Miller would win Nich,

Frank Miller made Sin City and Dark Knight Returns, some of the most hard hitting action I've ever seen in comics. There are guys in Sin City who could go into gunfights with a broken bottle and come out unscathed. What I really wrote this for was about the player killer thing. That sucks. I suppose a solution would be to become a player killer yourself and instantly kill anyone who violates your private games, thus when everyone does this, PKs will just give up realizing that it's too big a risk. Of course not everyone wants to spend 50 extra bucks for a fair fight. Maybe they could build it into the game itself. That's similar to the idea that if we give everyone a gun and gun training, there'll be zero crime.

-Gilbert

I've always been slightly skeptical of multiplayer games where you couldn't see your opponents, and this whole sordid business only makes me more so. When you've got two or three other people on the couch next to you, it's a given that nobody's using cheats unless everybody knows about it. Not so on big, faceless servers like these. I'm not against online gaming on principle, but I'm not against Communism on principle either. In practice, both tend to break down rather grievously.

Kissing Mr. Yamauchi
Alan Moore's an experienced occultist. He wins with a little help from the spiritual plane. But then Rumiko Takahashi comes in and gets Kachutenshinamaguriken on his ass.

More seriously, the issue of online cheating suddenly seems a lot nastier with Game Sharks in the picture. I love using the cheat device for fun things, like changing Ramza into Lede the Assassin and fighting battles with only the one character(There is a better character than Orlandu, you just don't get her in your party). Using such tricks to annihilate people online is contemptible, though. I bet this problem is going to get really ugly in the next generation of consoles. Makes me wonder if Nintendo's going to new lengths to prevent cheat devices from working on the Gamecube.

Me, I'd be a Monk with Talk Skill, Sunken State, Two Swords, and Ignore Height.

-Sanagi

The more I think about it, the most ingenious the GameCube seems to me. They're already virtually immune to piracy due to their storage format--to copy a GameCube game, not only would you need a DVD-ROM burner, you'd need the special small "single" discs and some way to burn those, neither of which will probably ever be widely available. Even better, the GameCube has no USB or commonly used interface port that a GameShark-style device could exploit. Unlicensed companies sure are going to have a fun time cracking that system, let me tell you.

V for VGA
Flatscreen monitor... for the PS2... *drools*.... So that I can play games whenever (and eventually wherever) I want...I want it now... I don't wanna wait until Christmas or beyond... ;_;

-Princess "That's all anyone hears if they ask "How are you?" ever since I've seen one on EGM a couple of months ago" Jemmy

Doesn't really have much to do with your letter, but have you seen this? Might be sooner than you think ...

The Highbury Malfunctioning
Nich,

Well, I think the add ons are generally not a good idea, with the exception of the hard drive. Faster loading times are always good, but who really needs a PS2 online? And of course, pretty much as soon as it gets online and everything pirating everything will step up about 4 notches. I am a fan of emulation as long as legal stuff is followed - mean, if I wanna play FFIIIUS I do not think my old cart and SNES will hold out, but I do not want to see a napster-ish situation arise and cause banning of online PS2, which may be a good thing in the future at least. Currently no add ons are really needed. I mean, a hard drive is nice, but I have not noticed any excessive load times to date in the games on my PS2. Expansion is all well and good, but I do not think it is what is needed currently. There is no need for this stuff currently, and all it is probably going to do is make a bunch of cheap games that need the accessories to play, and shelling out that much MORE cash is not something my college wallet can support right now. All that really does is ruin the possibility of a better single plaer game because the first is never the greatest in 95% of all video game cases, I want some good games. I'll jump on the bandwagon with FFXI of course...but thats a ways off. Its not needed, and it won't be for a while, so let companies play with it and then release it when the next big, GOOD thing comes out (FFXI in all probability).

-Efrate

Why am I skeptical about hard drives on consoles? Three words: Simpsons Road Rage. Rather than spend their time minimizing load time wherever possible--streaming data off the CD here, streamlining the amount of information needed there--the developers have decided to dump the data straight onto the Xbox's HDD and let it run from there. That just strikes me as lazy. No, I can't wait to see the first games you'll be required to install, rather than just run ... don't they know what a console is for, anyway? ... grumble, grumble ...

Peripherals: Year One
Nich,

Just like anything else, PS2 add ons are going to start rough, but slowly get better. Stuff like this always has a rough period. I mean, why buy the hard drive when you don't need it to play games. Why get the network adaptor when you have the computer to go online?

Eventually, as game companies produce games which either need or massively benefit from the add ons, then people will catch on, and better add ons will be made. And then that stupid company that puts out generic rf adaptors and memory cards that foul up constantly will catch on, and there will be many poor souls fooled by the cheaper add ons.

But, that's how it works. The only technological advance on gaming that avoided this was the memory card, and only then because you need it. Who needs an N mem card when you can save Zelda right on the game pack?

I do however believe that the network adaptors will pick up pretty quickly, but only on one premise. Sony makes EVERYTHING, and will probably incorporate a lot of online media, and we will eventually see PS2 compatable MP3 players, if not enough stuff to fulfill the grand dreams of BeerGoggles_FromMARS, which I share...

Peace,

-Stryker, who's first PS2 based MP3 download will be " It's All Right" by The Traveling Wilburys

Hey, Sony got off to a great start with PS2 peripherals in my book--didn't anyone else buy the Vertical Stand? It's like racing stripes for your system!

And you've pretty much hit the mark when it comes to peripherals finding widespread acceptance. The only way to get everyone to buy one is either to make it mandatory, as with memory cards, or to make it not a peripheral at all, as with the Dreamcast's pack-in modem.

The other key to making a peripheral work is to have it be compatible with all games, or at least the vast majority of them. This is why things like rapid-fire controllers do brisk business; you can use them on anything. On the other hand, you have to like music games an awful lot if you're going to drop the dough on an expensive controller that only works with one game, such as maracas or a dance pad. This, I suspect, will be the real test for Sony and Nintendo--will there be enough online games to support the sale of modems or BBAs?

Kill Your Boyfriend
Nich,

A few things today. First, Alan Moore, hands down. That guy looks scary. Second, There's more Amano artwork out there because he drew a Tidus that doesn't suck nearly as much as the original (Sorry. I know this is an old subject, and you guys are tired of hearing it, but as much as I'm liking most of what I see from FFX, I HATE Tidus).

Finally, I had to respond to a couple of Paris' comments yesterday. I certainly have some sympathy for her situation, as I certainly believe more people playing games is a good thing, especially more girls. I think pretty much everyone here can agree that we like girls. However, I was sort of worried by the games she offered as good "gender neutral" titles.

Tetris is great, no argument there. However, I fail to see what makes Mario any more "gender neutral" than most other games. Is it the substitution of fireballs for guns? I guess I just don't get it. Myst and The Sims, then, sort of bothered me. These are both very impressive in their own right, but frankly, as games, they suck. Myst is (was) beautiful, and did a fine job with it's puzzles and story, but it really wasn't very much fun. The Sims, on the other hand, isn't even really a game. It's a toy. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but they are two different things.

If that's what will attract more female gamers, does it mean that games themselves are inherently more attractive to a male audience? I don't think so, and certainly hope not, but I felt it necessary to share my unease. Your thoughts?

-The Neocount of Merentha, just *knows* his Evil rating will take a hit for this letter.

I'd say yeah, it is the substitution of fireballs for guns. (Which is a gross, gross oversimplification, and shame on you for making it.) I feel vaguely like I'm insulting the female readers out there by making a generalization like "Girls don't like violent games" ... but while I have known many women over the years who enjoyed video games, none of them ever talked about how much they loved Mortal Kombat. More often, they enjoyed RPGs or puzzle games. Again, I don't mean to make a hard and fast statement that only guys enjoy bloody games, it's just been true in my experience.

But I should note that while women don't seem to enjoy ultraviolence very much, neither have I ever known any woman or girl to play "feminine" titles like the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen games, or Rhapsody. I guess all you can really say is, girls like good games. Shocking, eh?

Dork Blue
Nich,

I find it kind of comforting to know that ALL girls don't think of guy gamers as hormone driven testosterone machines. Though, if anything, it got me thinking about how non-gamers perceive us. I'm currently working my way through highschool, and I don't make it a priority to hide that I like video games. However, the puzzled look I get when I tell people that I'm in anime club pretty much tells me I shouldn't inform them I'm trying to start a video game club, too.

Let's face it. We're geeks.

Well, at least, that's how we're perceived. Pasty faced geeks with pocket protectors and glasses that allow you to melt ants. We're seen sitting in our rooms with pictures of girls, a loud buzzing computer, and a TV making small, beeping NES sounds. We only come out to play Dungeons & Dragons and Magic. If not that, then lately the world has taken an opposite look on gamers. I remember the PS2 being a reason for discussion on how the voting age should be raised to 21. Not from a couple of friends, mind you, but CNBC. We're either perceived as lifeless geeks or a slovenly group of teenagers who could care less what's going on. So, what should we do? Sadly, there's probably nothing we can do.

We, ourselves, are guilty of such perceptions. No matter how much I know it to be false, I still see non-gamers as slackers, stoners, and the like. People would rather spend their time sleeping than enjoying something I hold so dear. Then I remember no game is life changing, not every non-gamer is a pothead, but the perception still stands firm.

And I swear, if one more person expects me to say "Konnichi Wa! ^_^;;;".....

-Shawn K.

That's ... odd. I always just thought of non-gamers as non-gamers. I have to say, I don't think too highly of my entrenched gaming brethren--hands up, everyone who gets a couple hours exercise every day. Beyond that, working at a site like this is a surefire way to kill any notion you might have had that RPG players, or gamers in general, are more perceptive or civilized or intelligent than "average" people. It's just not true. Get it out of your mind.

Closing Comments:

I like to take my topics from the news. But there is no news, so let's make some up. Tell me what currently unannounced game you'd most like to see get picked up for American release. Tsugunai tickle your fancy? Starving for Seven? Any excessively devoted gamers still waiting for El Dorado Gate? Let me know.

-Nich Maragos, mixing it up

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