Double Agent
What, I gotta do a column today? - September 4, 2000 - Chris Jones

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. But don't ya be tryin' somethin' on me, just 'cause I'm cute and all. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Well, didn't get quite as much CC in as I would have liked - only 25 hours so far and I don't think I'm gonna get any more in tonight, because of all the stuff I meant to get out of the way this weekend (like unpacking) that's still left undone. Gonna be a short column too, in all likelihood, but Friday's was pretty long so don't get too worked up.


Carryover from Friday
Gaming: How the non-athletically-inclined and the introverted while away Fridays, Sundays, and all the days in between.

RPG's: The art of reading phenomenal stories often poorly translated into English. Contrary to popular belief, not limited to the non-athletically-inclined or the introverted.

Fighting Games: How the non-athletically-inclined and the introverted vent their frustration at not being one of the athletically-inclined or extroverted.

Playstation: see 'God.'


ps I love UT- thought you'd like to know. Unless I'm mistaken and you went to A&M.

The "non-athletically inclined"? Nice way to say couch potato, dude. (Not that I can look down on couch potatoes, after spending about 72 hours straight without leaving my apartment.

I did indeed attend UT, which does indeed rock. However, a friend of mine recently informed me that Austin hit a toasty 108 today, so I'm just as happy to be up here where it's windy, overcast, and 70.

Speaking of colleges

Grrr... At Virginia Tech here they don't want to give us a happy labor day. Today we all have classes. Grrr...


Painful, amigo. Unless, of course, they're postponing the holiday for some sort of mid-semester break, in which case I envy you. Most of the schools I've gone to have had an unbroken stretch between Labor Day and Thanksgiving, and it gets real old sometime around late October. Either way, here's hoping you get some free time soon.

Next on MASH: Hawkeye's antics annoy the other surgeons
Bah weep graaagnah wheep, ni ni bong, Chrispy!

Yeah, The Simpsons is fantastic, but M*A*S*H, Chris, M*A*S*H was the best TV show ever.



Heh. My dad used to say the same thing, and I'll tell you what I told him: only one of these shows ever used the phrase "Guatemalan insanity peppers" and had Johnny Cash as a talking Space Coyote. I rest my case.

Sequels must wait five to ten business years

Since Allan and Drew were kind enough to let Square go ahead and release Chrono Cross, can you possibly be cool enough to let them release a Chrono 3 in a couple of years? Please!

And this from an Arch Nemesis...I feel so dirty.

Justin Freeman

Aw, come on, you know you don't really want another Chrono game just yet. The anticipation's gotta build up for years and years and years before it can be properly enjoyed - not to mention we've got to hold off until an entirely new type of game comes out, not unlike the transition from 2D to 3D. (Full-sensory VR, maybe?) That way, purists can bitch for months on end only to be most satisfactorily silenced when the game actually comes out.

So at this point, I'm thinking 2008 for Chrono 3. How does that work for you?

Lazy Americans
A long time ago I went to Playonline and they had english stuff but instead of keeping it they scrapped it, and for the last two months have been "working" on the English version. I dont think they're working at all, or if they are they're taking their sweet time. Square Japan had it done long ago. Whats taking these guys so long. My conclusion, Square USA is lazy.

"A person who's gonna write a longer than usual message here because that's the kind of awe inspiring power that comes with being" Kramer

I dunno what's up with Play Online, except that a lot of the games it's trying to hype aren't exactly targeted towards the US yet - Final Fantasy 9 and The Bouncer, to be specific. Once the current crop of summer games has been fully digested by the US audience (I'm thinking mid to late-September) the US marketing machine should start up, and I wouldn't be surprised to see Play Online start updating in English.

Note to self: not a Working Designs game

All of this discussion about Chrono Cross and DQVII is just fine, but I think there's another wonderful game that deserves some attention. It came out at the end of August. The first word of the title is "Valkyrie". The second word is "Profile". Why hasn't anyone said ANYTHING about this game?! Doesn't anyone know it's out? Hasn't anyone played it? Doesn't anyone CARE about this game?!

This is a fantastic game, with an excellent plot, wonderful battle system, and decent voice acting (that right there is reason enough to discuss it). It's very innovative in all aspects, and the graphics are spectacular, too. You get to play as a goddess! You get to take people's souls! It's FUN, dammit!

So, uh...I think I got a little too excited there, but, uh...the point is that Valkyrie Profile deserves more attention. It may not be better than Chrono Cross, but it's still a great game.

-Shinji, beginning to calm down...

Don't know much about the game, except that it's been getting good to excellent reviews and I'd probably be playing it if I didn't have a 5 game backlog already. Still, there's no reason we shouldn't start discussing it, so send in some info if you're so inclined.

Closing Comments:

Well, hope you all had a proper farewell to summer. (Note to those in the South: apparently, in the rest of the country it stops being hot right about now.) Let's hear about what you're gonna be playing for the rest of the year, or any thoughts you have on Valkyrie Profile. Catch you later.

-Chris Jones, a bit chilly

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