Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. A harpy killed me an hour from my last save point last night. Insert your own expression of outrage here. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Let's take a look at Square's stated reason for not porting Chrono Cross to European gamers, shall we?

"...Chrono Cross will not be coming to Europe. Chrono Cross has a particularly complicated text system which does not suit the syntax and morphology of German and the romance languages, and so has only been translated into English. We felt that such a big title should not appear as an English-only version in Europe as this would deprive the majority of gamers of the complexities and beauty of the plot. [...] We receive many comments from people who say that they would not mind playing our games in English, but as a dedicated European office we aim to be inclusive rather than exclusive."

To describe all the ways in which the above statement is deceptive, misleading, illogical, and just plain wrong would take me all night, and I really want to play some Vagrant Story. But we can touch on a few of the key fallacies: Chrono Cross may or may not have a complicated text system. I don't know, I haven't played it yet and I don't want to know until I do. But if said text system could be moved from Japanese to English (and reports so far say the CC translation is excellent, naming limitations aside) then moving it from English to any other European language should be exceedingly simple - English is far closer to any of the Romance languages than it is to Japanese.

And while it's also nice that Square doesn't want to deprive gamers of "the complexities and beauty of the plot" I speak from experience when I say I'd rather have some than nothing at all. It's a safe bet to say FF4 didn't give American gamers the full experience that our Japanese brethren got, but I thrived on the butchered remnant Square saw fit to sell me, and can't imagine where I'd be today if they hadn't sent it over here. Lastly, if Square's European office wants to be "inclusive rather than exclusive", then they should include everyone with an English translation rather than excluding an entire continent. I may be nuts, but I get the impression a good chunk of the European teenagers and college students liable to be CC's target audience have a far better grasp of English than Square gives them credit for.

The ironic thing is, I think there may be a very plausible reason why CC's not going across the Atlantic: resources. Square's already announced that FF9 will be receiving a five way European translation, and it wouldn't surprise me if that effort was taking up all Square's translators' attention. From there a simple economic analysis could tell them that hiring additional people to translate CC, etc. would not be a profitable thing, in which case their decision makes sense. But I'd far rather be told the truth: "sorry, kid, there ain't no money in it for us" than be lied to. It's simply an issue of respect.

Then again, I'm not European, so what do I care?

Onward.

Heck, I dunno... a buck? Buck fifty, maybe?

This is a classic case of our capitalist, market-driven society deluding this young man into thinking he needs to have "possessions" to be "cool" and "hip" and "with it" and "socially accepted". As a result he's literally ready to sell his immortal soul to get a mere "video game". Someone should sit this young man down and explain to him that all he really needs to be a "groovy fella" is a sunny disposition, a wonderful smile, and some "way out" disco moves. Now you're "riding the walrus!"

The preceding message was brought to you by someone who already has the money for his next year's worth of video games saved up.

Before I say anything else, let me correct a grave misunderstanding here. Parasite Eve does not have an RE style control scheme, nor will PE2, unless I've been misinformed. Not that I'd ever try to stop someone from buying DQ7, mind you, but don't let bad controls get in your way of enjoying PE goodness. Mmm, mitochondria... er, I mean midichlorians... I think.

Here we have the other end of the spectrum - enough cash but not enough time. Which is in and of itself enough reason not to buy every game you want. I mean, I'm as big a fan as anyone of throwing money away, but putting $300+ bucks down for a system you potentially won't have good cause to use for months seems to cross the line in to Donald Trump levels of extravagance.

Note to my readers unfamiliar with the 80's: that's a bad thing.

Again, to be clear: I haven't played Chrono Cross at all, so I really don't know what could be a spoiler and what's not. Point of fact, I didn't censor the letter yesterday, that came pre-censored. It's possible that specific names, etc. could slip through and let someone know something very key, which is why I put the warning up yesterday. But all things considered, I doubt there's any serious harm at looking at the names.

I also like the final vocal track very much (I'm not naming it because I don't remember it off the top of my head, but I don't think it's much of a spoiler in any case.) It's not one of my absolute favorites, but it is quite respectable and has one huge advantage over "Small Two of Pieces" - it's in Japanese. I don't mind the Japanese version of SToP, and the English version of Star of Tears is actually quite good. But anyone who thinks lines like

"Torn by this pain, I paint your name in sound
And the girl of the dawn, with eyes of the blue, and angel wings
The songs of the season are her only crown"

scan well needs to stop listening to so much dubbed J-pop. Try some Alison Krauss, much better.

I'm honestly surprised at how many people cite watching DVDs as a reason to get the PS2. I'd have thought anyone with the cash to blow on a PS2 would have already gotten a DVD player, and would be somewhat upset by the fact that it's now somewhat of a moot appliance. Then I remember most people aren't across the board early adopters like us techie engineer types. 

You hear that, people? Respectfully! Very Respectfully! This is a much better way to get my attention than painting my truck metallic peach and shaving your names in my hair whilst I sleep.

At any rate, Mr. Kato (or should that be Sung? Can't remember which way Korean names go, or maybe you've auto corrected for me. Never mind.) I honestly don't see Innocent Sin getting ported. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's a great game and I wholeheartedly thank Atlus for taking the time to port it over, especially after the cruel, evil fate that Sony gave Soul Hackers. But I simply don't see enough people buying Eternal Punishment to warrant Innocent Sin's translation. So my advice is, take the monkey and run. And while you're at it, pick up that Innocent Sin copy too.

Yep, that was pretty much my take on it.

Yep, that was pretty much my take on it.

What, you want more? Ok, by the time FFX comes out I expect development for the system to be at a much higher caliber. If Sony hasn't corrected the current technical shortcomings of the system I'll be very surprised, and I'll probably have to raise Akio Morita's spirit from the grave to kick some serious butt down at Sony HQ. It will be a great system someday, but for now even the potential coolness of The Bouncer isn't enough to convince me.

Er, sorry about that. I don't think I can be held responsible for spoilers on five year old games, but I honestly do sympathize with your pain. If it happens again, I'll institute some kind of window on how old a game has to be to talk about plot details. Once more, apologies.

And yeah, I'd go with the Dex Drive if you've got a PC to hook it up to.

Closing Comments:

Well, that went by relatively quickly. Groovy. Hopefully I'll get Vagrant Story out of the way before I leave.

What, didn't I mention? Heading back to New Orleans and Illinois for a week on Thursday. I should be able to keep up with the column courtesy of my trusty laptop, but don't be too surprised if a substitute shows up.

For tomorrow, let me know if you've got anything more to say about the PS2 and year end games, or give me your thoughts on the lack of a European translation for Chrono Cross. That's all for now, later.

-Chris Jones: slipping away courtesy of the Federales