The End Of Normal Life

[12.22.99] » by David Solomon

"…Pokemon is actually getting more popular."

-Nintendo representative

The lights went back on after the commercial break was over. On the screen were Reno and Elena. Due to the circumstances of Meteor, the Turks decided to make a change in career. Newsmen (and women) have higher life expectancies than the Turks ever had, anyway. With the 11 o'clock news well underway, it was time to get to the main story.

"Well, Elena," Reno began in an over-exaggerative energetic tone. "First there were baseball cards. Then there were beanie babies. But now, the thing that's biggest in both America and Japan is…Pokemon!"

"That's right, Reno. Having grossed over $5 billion dollars, this little wonder has gripped the hearts of children."

"And the wallets of parents!" Elena then proceeded to do what arguably could have been one of the most fake laughs ever in the history of the world. Reno wore a fake smile, which didn't look at all good on him.

Vincent stepped into the new dwelling of Cloud and Tifa. The pledge to stay in touch was starting to make Vincent weary, although it was definitely worth it.

"Hey, Vincent!" Cloud called out as he came out of the hallway. "How're things?"

"Oh, okay," Vincent said, without much enthusiasm.

"Vincent?" Tifa shouted several rooms down. "I'll be there in just a moment!"

"So, how's the kid?" Vincent asked. As if to answer the question, a hyperactive 4 year old proceeded to run through the house.

"It's time for Pokemon!" the kid shouted.

"Trent!" Tifa shouted, finally appearing. "No running through the house!" She then looked at Vincent. "Oh, Vincent, sorry. I don't think I said hello. Hello!"

"Hi Tifa," Vincent greeted. "Kid still a problem?"

"Well, nothing's terribly wrong. I mean, sure he's always hyper, but his obsession is about as G rated as you can get!"

"Ah, Pokemon." Cloud said, sarcastically. "Contains all the action packed fun of GI Joes, with the harmless factor of Teletubbies!"

"I dunno, Cloud," Vincent disagreed. "Homosexual aliens with TVs embedded in their stomachs doesn't seem that harmless to me."

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Didn't you read that TIME article? A kid stabbed another kid over Pokemon cards!"

"So? That doesn't mean anything. That kid's parents were probably abusive."

"Pokemon, anyone?" This came from Trent.

"Sure," Vincent said. "You know, I've never actually seen an episode."

Cloud held back laughter. "Go ahead…but me and Tifa have given up trying to understand that show."

Vincent sat on the couch while Trent sat approximately 2 inches from the T.V. Then Pokemon came on. In an instant, Vincent was both visually and audibly attacked by an extreme barrage of unknown words and bright colors. In 2 minutes, Vincent began to faint, and decided to leave. It didn't matter. Trent didn't even move his head to see Vincent leave.

"Jeez, what's with that?" Vincent asked. Cloud laughed.

"It's a great show for kids, but adults can't understand it." Cloud, Tifa, and Vincent sat down.

"So how long has it been?" Vincent asked. "You know, since Meteor."

"Oh, I'd say about 6 or 7 years," Cloud replied. "Still have that job at the shoe store?"

"That? Nah, got fired a few months ago. I'm on welfare again."

"Vincent," Tifa began. "You can't just go job shifting and mooching off of welfare the rest of your life. You have to pick a job you like."

"That's just the problem! All these jobs are too boring. Saving the world isn't exactly an occupation, and the Turks organization was dismantled. What job matches the excitement of anything like that?"

Cloud thought for a while. Then, he said "A cop. You'd be great at that!"

"You know," Vincent said. "I've never thought about that. Sure, it may be a bit more restricted, and there's less shooting, but that'd be great! All right, I'll do it. I'll join the police force today, and have solved my first murder case by tomorrow."

"Um…it's not exactly like that," Cloud said. "You kind of have to get a desk job and hold that well for a while, and then get promoted a few times."

"Really? Aw…but still I'll do it. It'll be worth it. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

6 months passed. Vincent did paperwork for the police. It was hard, yet boring, but Vincent managed. It was on that faithful day that Vincent got the words…

"Vincent Valentine, please report to my office."

And it was in that room that he was promoted.

"Vincent, normally we wait a little while longer before promoting someone to a detective. But, you've obviously had 'special' experience. Am I right?"

"Yes, you are," Vincent stated, holding back glee.

"And so, with the power invested in me, I now pronounce you, Detective Valentine. And because of your 'special' experience, I'll start you off with your first case right away." The chief pulled out a file. "Recently, we've been having reports of missing children."

"No problem, chief."

"I'm not finished. The numbers, frankly, are scary. Have a look for yourself."

Vincent stared at the sheets of paper in front of him. On each sheet were perhaps 100 names.

"Jeez," was all Vincent could say.

"Jeez is right, Valentine. This is a serious crime, caused by a serious group of people. Can you handle it?"

"Yes sir, chief. I'll be right on it."

"That's what I like to hear. Make me proud, Vincent."

"I will, Chief. I will."

Vincent stood in front of the first household for interrogation. He had made up several questions to ask on a notepad, and was prepared to get asking. He hoped it wouldn't get too emotional, such as the parents bursting into tears. He rang the doorbell. The door opened.

"Who the hell are you?" An overly concerned female asked, with what looked to be about 3 or 4 cigarettes shoved in her mouth.

"My name is Vincent Valentine. I'm from the Kalm Police Department."

"Oh, it's about time one of you bozos showed up! I suppose you want to come in and answer some questions. Well, come in! Don't let anymore of the outside world in!"

Vincent stepped in, and sat down. "Well, I guess I better start now. Had your child ever done anything remotely like this before?"

"You mean run away from home? Well, he hid in the closet once, when I lit a chair on fire with a cigarette."

The questions continued.

"Did you ever…abuse your child?"

"Have I what? What are you saying! Of course not!"

It was then that Vincent asked his last question.

"What sort of television did your child watch?"

"Television? I dunno. Uh…mostly Nickelodeon. Oh, and Pokemon."

"Thank you for your time, miss."

"Wait, don't go…I have a, uh, surprise in the, uh, bedroom."

Vincent gave a strange look. "Are you a widow?"

"Widow? You think I'm married? Hahahahaha…"

"Alright, I'm leaving now." Vincent took a few steps back, and ran out.

Vincent asked the same questions to every parent, or parent pair. He only was able to make it to about fifty houses. After all, there was no way of asking 20 questions to a thousand people in seven days. By the end of the week, Vincent was exhausted, and clueless. A few parents said they were a "little" abusive, but not enough to prove the massive loss of knowledge of location of children. That only left one option. A cult. But that made no sense whatsoever. After all, 100% of all the kids that were missing consisted of the age group of three to seven. Vincent tried to desperately make sense of the situation, but came up empty-

The phone rang. Vincent picked it up. "Hello?"

"Vincent? It's Cloud." He sounded very distressed.

"Cloud? What's wrong?"

Tifa could be heard in the background screaming indecipherable outbursts. "Vincent…" A long pause. "Vincent, Trent is gone."

"Gone? Oh, no!"

"We have no idea where he could be!" Vincent then heard the control of the phone switch over to Tifa, who was now hysterical. "Vincent? Vincent! Find Trent! PLEASE, find Trent! And kill whoever took him! You hear me! Chop off each and every one of their damn fingers!" While this was going on, Vincent cycled through the mass amounts of data he had collected, desperately trying to find a connection. He looked at each question, and checked every answer. So far, so bad. Meanwhile, Cloud had once again gained control of the phone once again.

"Vincent, sorry about that. Look, we were just calling…to see if you have any information on the missing children. Do you?"

Vincent's heart sped up a beat as he cycled through the answers of the last question. "Uh, Cloud? Did Trent watch Pokemon every day?"

"Vincent?! Why do you care?"

"Just tell me!"

"Yes! Yes, he watched Pokemon every single day of his life! Are you happy now! Have you solved the mystery! Vincent, do you have any idea what my life is like right now?"

Vincent re-cycled through the answers again, quicker and quicker.

"…Vincent? Are you still there?"

"Cloud," Vincent began. "To the maximum of my capabilities, I will find your, and everyone else's missing children, even if it takes my life."

"Vincent…" another long pause, as the sound of something breaking was heard on the other line. "Thank you. Thank you very much." Cloud hung up.

Was it true? Vincent looked as the only connection between the answers was that each and every child watched Pokemon. Could a TV show send subliminal messages powerful enough to persuade a kid to run away from home? It was the only way. Besides, it made perfect sense. After all, adults couldn't understand it, and kids seemed to perfectly comprehend every word of that show. That must be it. But the chief wouldn't believe him. Maybe nervous parents would.

"I've got it solved!" Vincent said, that next Monday.

"You do? Great! Where's the teen-boom of tomorrow, Vincent?"

Just as Vincent was about to answer, he remembered how ridiculous the solution sounded even to him.

"It's too complicated to explain here. Call a town meeting. Invite anyone who cares about their child's life."

"Will do Vincent. You'd better be right about this, though."

That night in city hall…

"Ladies and Gentlemen," The chief began. Your concerns will now be answered! Today, we all will learn where our beloved children are!"

Much cheering from the audience.

"And now, for your answers…Vincent Valentine of the Kalm Police Department!"

Even more cheering from the audience.

"Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen." Vincent silently prayed they would believe him. "I will be frank. What I am about to tell you, is not a joke. What I am about to tell you, you may not like to hear. What I am about to tell you, you may not even believe. The destructive force that is taking your kids minds and bodies is…Pokemon!"

Vincent decided his prayer wasn't answered. The response to that was a few stifled laughs, and the random outburst containing the words "Are you joking?"

"I am not joking, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is the truth! You must believe me! Those of you that still have your children! Don't let them watch Pokemon!"

"!@#$% you!" was the response from the audience. "The KPD suck!"

"Yeah, stop eating donuts, you licentious howlers!"

The chief did not look a bit happy.

"Vincent," he began, that next day. "Every now and then, people make mistakes."

"Boss," Vincent began.

"WE BOTH made mistakes. I promoted you too early, so as to give you the idea that every crime is as unusual as a madman summoning a giant Meteor."

"Boss, it's not like that at all!" Vincent pleaded.

"Vincent, if you couldn't find anything out, that's okay. To admit to failure is merely a slight disappointment. But to make up a ridiculous statement, and embarrass the entire Kalm Police Department…that's out of the question."

"Boss, please! Listen to reason! That show is bad news."

"Would you shut up? Haven't you done enough? Vincent, give me your badge."

"But…" The look of the chief was enough. Vincent laid down his badge and weapon. "I swear, chief. You're making a mistake."

"Vincent, you're living in a fairy tale world. You need a vacation. Hell, you need medication! Get some help."

That night, Vincent laid on his couch drinking cheap beer straight from the bottle. He was not too happy. Tomorrow, he would have to go back on welfare. Maybe he really was going crazy. Maybe the pressure was too much. Maybe he needed help. At this moment, he was depressed. He had let down Cloud and Tifa, not to mention about a thousand other people. Then there was the KPD…oh, he didn't even want to think about that. At least he didn't need to worry about anything right now…

If Vincent hadn't looked out of his window at that exact time to stare at the moon, the end of normal life might have happened eventually. But Vincent did look out his window, and see a child wandering in the street. Actually, he seemed on a pretty set course to Vincent. Almost like he was…hypnotized. Vincent checked his clock. It was midnight. He took a camera, got in his car, and began following the kid. Not surprisingly, the hypnotized kid didn't notice Vincent behind him. The sight of the kid was disturbing and amazing at the same time. The very idea that a 5 year old child was walking at a steady speed, not caring, or even noticing anything around him, was simply amazing. Yet disturbing. Time passed. The kid was, after all, walking, so distance passed slowly as well. By 7 AM, the kid seemed to have reached his location. It was at this point in time that the pressure Vincent applied to his jaw completely dissipated.

From his eyes, Vincent saw a giant, boarded up, abandoned warehouse, with what appeared to be creatures both big and small crowding around it. Beyond the warehouse stretched miles and miles of unoccupied territory. Technically. There were no "houses" on the plains. In place of those were strangely shaped buildings where the creatures dwelled. But what were these creatures? They all looked completely different, as if they beared no relation at all. Then, Vincent's jaw dropped again.

These were Pokemon. They existed in real life. And around them were thousands of kids doing odd jobs, ranging from harvesting crops to tidying up the buildings. One kid stopped working to take a breath and a Pikachu electrocuted him until he died. This was when Vincent stopped looking and was reminded that this was awful, truthful reality. Vincent took out his camera, and took snapshots of the Pokemon, kids, and buildings until he ran out of film. Then, he took the long trek back.

A few days later, after the film was developed…Vincent ran as fast as he could into the Police Department.

"I must speak with the chief of police!" Vincent shouted, waving small packages of film around. "I must speak with the chief of police!"

"Sir, what exactly is your name?" Was the response from the man behind the desk.

"Vincent Valentine! He'll remember it, believe me!" The chief came down after a few minutes.

"Vincent, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Proof! Here's some damn proof for you, chief! Round up everyone you can!"

Vincent slammed the pictures on the table. The chief picked them up, and looked at each one. After he searched through each picture, he looked up, not convinced. "Vincent…you need help. Real fast. Tell you what. Why don't I call the Kalm Institution, and…"

"You just don't get it, do you? This is probably the biggest case of your life, and you're sitting in your office, eating donuts, not even believing your eyes!"

"Vincent! This isn't your ordinary everyday Sephiroth case! The world isn't always in danger! Get out of here before I put you in jail cell!"

Vincent stood in sheer amazement at the chief. "You'd probably do it, too." He calmed down. "This experience has proved that the Police aren't capable of handling cases like this. That leaves me with one choice. That choice, chief, is to get my own guys to solve this case."

"Taking the law into your own hands is against the law, Vincent!"

Vincent chuckled. "You have failed your duty, chief. To arrest me would only make things worse. Do the right thing." Vincent took out a sheet of paper and placed it on the desk and wrote an address. "If you decide to trust me, here's the address to the warehouse the Pokemon are staying at." Vincent then left the building. Would those precious minutes he spent in that building be his last (in that building)?

The next day…the final day of this story. Cloud, Barret, Tifa, Red XIII, Cait Sith, Yuffie, Cid…and Vincent. They all stood their ground, at a distance close enough that the warehouse was in sight, yet far enough that they weren't seen.

"I'm glad you all came," Vincent said.

"Aw, it was nothing," Cloud stated. "This was bound to happen again, anyway. Vincent, we were born for this. Saving the world is our bag, baby."

Barret gave a blank stare. "Yo, man, how we gonna do dis?"

That arose several confused people. Red XIII looked at Vincent "Yeah, Vincent, how are we gonna do this?"

"We rush." With that, Vincent idiotically ran towards the Pokemon. With nothing better to do, the other 7 followed. The truth was, Vincent's plan didn't seem that idiotic at the time, because there didn't seem to be many Pokemon around. It was at this point that they all came out from hiding. Onix appeared out of nowhere, bashing through everyone and knocking several heads. In an instant, Red XIII, Cait Sith, and Yuffie were out cold. The remaining 5 began hacking and slashing Pokemon, killing few but killing nonetheless. However, they were hopelessly outnumbered. Pikachu and Raichu teamed up and electrocuted Barret, Tifa, Cid, and Cloud. Having the wrong materia-elemental combos equipped, they all hopelessly were knocked out too. Vincent stood in the middle of a large crowd of Pokemon.

"You bastards! You'll never take me alive!" And with that, he took his gun and blasted everywhere, taking the lives of a few Pokemon. All of a sudden, Vincent felt sleepy, as Jigglypuff sang a beautiful song.

"Jiiiiiiggllyyyyypuffffff…Jigggllllyyyyyyyyyy…"

"No! No! Noooooooooo……..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"Vincent, awaken."

Vincent awoke with his wrists cuffed to the wall, hanging a few feet above ground. He looked around. Everyone else was caught, too. Oh, well. At least none of them were dead. Yet.

"Vincent, your team has killed 6 Pokemon. You should be ashamed."

Vincent looked up at the tiny catlike creature floating in mid-air. "Who are you? And why are you doing this?"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry for not introducing myself. My name is Mew. I am the king of all Pokemon. You must be the small percentage of the population that knows that we're trying to take over the world and doing something about it."

"Great job, Vincent," Cid said. "You !#$#ing got us all killed!"

"I'm…sorry everyone. I had no idea…"

"…that we were powerful? Yes, hard to believe you were defeated by Pokemon!"

"Don't worry, Vincent," Cloud said. "You're not to blame." Cloud then looked around. "What are these two white and red orbs on either side of us doing?"

"Oh, those are Electrodes. When I feel like it, I'll have them exterminate you."

Vincent gulped. "Why? Why all this? How? How have you done this? I deserve to know! It is my dying wish!"

Mew stared at the floor. "If you wish to know…oh, what the hell! It'll be a welcomed ego boost for me, anyway. It really began a hundred years ago. We all lived on the peaceful planet of Xargov, which is hundreds of light years away from this wretched planet. There, we were known as 'the worst crime organization in history.' You see, monetary currency was even more important there than it is here. The dumb, big, purple and slow aliens all had giant natural pockets that they stored their stuff in. We simply picked pockets. But with our powers, we were able to get away with it very easily. Hence the name PickPocket Monsters, or Pokemon. But, even the weak succeed once in a while, and we were all caught. But rather than be locked up in prison, where we could escape, we were banished to the planet Jupiter."

"That doesn't make sense," Vincent interrupted. "Jupiter's gravity would crush you in a millisecond."

"We brought machines that prevented that. Anyway, things went fine, but after a while, work was starting to get tough. We were all our own bosses, but we were also our own work forces. Our special abilities made good for combat and crimes, but now, the only people to steal from were ourselves. We would cease to exist if we did this. With minimal resources on Jupiter, we proceeded to head to earth, which not only had more resources, but also was inhabited with humans. We decided that the best way to get the work done would be to take over the human race."

"But we've already nearly mined this planet dry!" Vincent responded.

"Oh, you foolish humans. There are ways to extract resources you haven't even heard of yet! If you got every last ounce of resource from this planet, it would last for hundreds of thousands of years! The question, though, was how to take over the human race. We studied your race, and discovered that you had an extraordinarily powerful military. You had a weakness, though, and we chose to exploit it. It's all in your commercialism. Advertising rules the world. More specifically, fads consume kids. If enough people like it, pretty soon, everyone will. What do we do? So little. We take over a company, call it Nintendo, then we plotted our plan in more details as the company grew larger. Finally, we decided to release a 'video game.' It was so popular, we released more, then a TV show…pretty soon, companies were making all kinds of deals with us! The key is the TV show. We send subliminal messages to kids that hypnotize them and give them directions to our warehouse, where they proceed to build. Thanks to marketing, we now have a 3rd movie coming out in Japan, and a Pokemon toaster! Japan is already under our control. As you can tell, Pokemon are already starting to populate the cities. So there you have it. How we got to the top. I remain here just in case twerps like you get farther than my Pokemon can handle. I guess I wasn't needed."

Vincent was astounded. "You…you're horrible!"

"At a loss of words? Yep, you should be."

"How can you take everything over if kids are the only ones you can seduce?"

"Hello? Kids are all we need! In large groups, they're very powerful. Best part is, once the adults die out, the kids will have kids of their own that are born respecting and worshipping us! Great plan, eh? But you guys have found too much out. You'll have to die. Good thing nobody else believed you when you told them."

With that, the Electrodes began to generate electricity through the 8 different bodies. They all emitted screams of pain. But Vincent felt the worst. He had let down Cloud, Barret, Tifa…everyone. All the parents…Japan…it was truly over. As the pain increased, however, his sadness turned to anger. As his anger boiled up, a strange thing happened…Vincent morphed into Chaos. It was funny. Vincent almost forgot he could do that. He broke free of his chains.

"What is this? Some sort of surprise?" Mew got nervous. "Electrodes, attack!"

They never had the chance. Vincent spun around, and shouted "Chaosabre!" With that, the two Electrodes were chopped into two even halves. Vincent then turned to Mew. "Chaosabre!" The slice hurt Mew, but didn't kill him.

"So, the little mouse wants to play! Hehehe…PSYCHIC!"

Vincent felt a brain piercing feeling as he was rendered helpless and paralyzed. Mew then summoned energy, and shouted "HYPERBEAM!" A large beam of white light incinerated Vincent. He screamed for dear life, and was left barely alive when the beam ended. Vincent summoned up his last ounce of strength, and felt a powerful attack coming. He stared at Mew, who was recovering from the enormous usage of energy. He gave an evil grin.

"Satan Slam!" Mew tried to fly up, but was still weak from the Hyperbeam. A giant skull shape rose up from the ground, lifting Mew. Mew looked around, as flaming skulls began to bash him. More and more and more skulls came, as Mew got weaker and weaker and weaker.

But Vincent did not stop there.

He felt a surge of power. Almost like he was reborn. Skulls began to fly everywhere. They broke the chains on his friends, destroyed the entire warehouse, and did considerable damage to the houses. Next thing he knew, he was flying above ruins. And homeless Pokemon. All of a sudden, the aftereffect hit him. Vincent sank like a rock, and could barely move. With his last ounce of energy, he lifted his face to look at the new corpse of Mew. Or was it? Mew rose up with an inhuman roar, just as a bullet rushed through Vincent, followed by several others, putting Mew out of commission, along with his band of Pokemon. Then Vincent lost consciousness.