Tide Of Fantasy

[03.28.02] » by Asyria Nightshade

I can already feel myself forgetting exactly where I am. My world, there only exists this beach, this ocean. The hazy fog that surrounds me, blocking out everything else. All I can hear is the waves of blue crash on the sandy shore. All I can feel is the cool breeze that sweeps over me and the sand tickling my bare feet. Noone else exists. Just me and this sea. My feelings are numb as I'm being hypnotized by the waves. I could stay here forever. Lost in this timeless place. Void of all feelings and emotions. But as those waves creep further away, the tide decreasing, I know that time still moves.

Only a few cruel, short hours from now, there will be a ceremony. A usually joyous occasion for all, except me. No, not for me. Not this wedding. For it is not mine.

Soon, the love I feel for the groom will truly be just a fantasy. Just as the tides recede further and further away, so does the possibility of my fantasy to come to life. Receding are the chances to hold him in my arms. To gaze into my eyes, allowing me to see love. Unrequited love, finally returned to me. Now, as the wind carries away my protective fog that shields me from the sun of reality, my dreams go with it. I can feel myself losing grasp of them. Not ripped away, but carried away from me. So I can see the dreams go, and feel the emptiness they've left behind. Now the sun shines. It's going to be beautiful. It will be perfect for their wedding. As it should be, I suppose.

As I gaze out onto the ocean once more, now that the fog has lifted, I see the true vastness of the ocean. The neverending blue. Unbound and limitless it is, so much like a fantasy. Though the tide is receding, it can never leave me fully. This beautiful ocean will always be. Just like my fantasy. Now, only allowed to exist in the far reaches of my dreams. I may lose him to another, but I can never lose my dreams.

And as it is with the ocean, the tide must come back eventually. It will return to the shore, crashing against the sands. Refreshing and clearing the sand for a new beginning. It shall be the same with my fantasy. The tide will return, clearing the tracks and marks of my old dreams to make a new dream. A new fantasy.

What will this new tide bring to me? What sweet and wondrous dreams await me? Even as I mourn the loss of this fantasy, I know that there will be another. I will never forget him, my first tide of love. He will always hold a special place in my heart and soul. Even if the next tide does not bring me the one, my true love. I know the tide will wipe the slate clean for a new love. And though this fantasy is over, there shall be another. Perhaps he will love me back. And when his tide recedes, I shall go with him and live the fantasy.