Understanding

[09.18.01] » by White Crescent

1

The sun set, the moon arose, the stars appeared, and a soul left for the stars.

The alley was dark, filthy, and silent. So silent….. except for the tiny moving sounds of a life whose future was unknown.

There it lay, hidden under a dead body, totally oblivious of what was happening.

A lonely drunkard passed this alley and saw this body, but it cared not, and continued on his way to the next bar.

The creature crawled out of from below the body and whimpered.

No, the man hadn't cared. Why would he?

They were dogs, so what if one found one dead dog and an orphaned puppy? They, as people believed, had no souls. Just living creatures living to fill the world and to entertain.

The puppy trotted away from his mother. Only a few hours ago did his mother still live, only hours ago before some other dogs decided to pick on them.

A father? He never knew him, never knew the smell of the man who shamelessly impregnated his mother in one of the alleys one dark night, and left them to starve.

His other brothers and sisters were dead, and now even his mother was dead.

Stray dogs they were. Just stray dogs that were not wanted.

He passed one curve, and there he heard the tiny whimpers of another dog, and some drunken men's laughs.

He didn't need to turn and see what was happening, he knew, him mother told him one night.

People ate dogs, especially those that loved to drink.

He remembered wondering why people ate their species. Did dogs eat people?

It was unfair, truly unfair, just because they were dogs, just because humans were so called 'the higher life-forms' they could end their lives without remorse.

So what? Cats ate mice, his mind said.

He justified his anger. Cats, he said, have no choice but to eat mice.

Cats never did have a choice, his mother said. How could they catch birds at a city without them? How could they catch fish on display on shop windows?

Mice were the only things available.

But humans…. They had food almost everywhere. Food was abundant for them!

While unwanted dogs had to search garbage cans for old and albeit spoiled food that many humans would never want to eat.

What gave them right to eat them? Them who were unwanted? Them who were without a future? At least they could let them enjoy their little life and let them starve to death than be eaten!

Shameless humans! Why?! Why?!

It was then that he heard them—humans, one of the shameless life-forms….

~*~*~*~

2

"Rin, that was close, wasn't it?"

The puppy bared his teeth. Tonight he would show humans his anger. He would show that even a tiny puppy like him could wound.

His tiny paws made no nose as it ran across the pavement towards a box. Soon they would know, soon….

"Uh-huh. I dun like them! They always come out whenever we go out!"

The footfalls grew louder, making echoes that seemed to haunt the alleyway.

He bared his teeth and they, small as they might be, looked deadly.

One of the humans laughed. "You mean you don't want your mother to be famous anymore?"

He waited silently. They were closer.

"No! That's not it…. I still want my mom to be famous… but I don't want them following us aaaaaaalllllll around and taking lots and lots of pictures! They're meanies!"

"Rin, that's not a nice thing to say. It's their job, you know, they're not—"

He jumped out and blindly ran towards one of them, his mouth wide open. And then he bit one of their legs…

"Ahh…."

Whomever or whatever he bit, it tried its hard to shake him off. But he was determined. He would make them bleed. He would show them his anger, he would make them pay…. They deserved it.

"Mom!" A pair of gloved hands caught him and threw him to the wall. "—Stay away!"

Pain flooded his whole body as he slammed against the wall. Unlike cats, dogs would never be able to recover as fast as cats would when they hit walls.

Cats were light, dogs clearly weren't. And he was a puppy…. Would he die? He wasn't even able make them bleed.

Useless….very useless….very very useless…. So he would die young…. What would his mother say? Would she be angry with him? For wasting his life, and failing to hurt humans?

His mother wanted… no… needed revenge… his whole species needed revenge…. And he could not deliver. How pathetic…..

The world faded, but the stars continued to glow, the moon continued shining, and soon he would be one of them….

~*~*~*~

"Mom….. It's a puppy………I-I… didn't mean to hurt it…."

Tears fell from the young girl's eyes. She didn't mean to hurt the puppy. She didn't mean to throw it to the wall….

But she was afraid…. No, it was the puppy's fault… the puppy suddenly appeared and bit her mom.

A gloved hand was placed on her right shoulder.

There they were standing in front of a wall. A puppy lay crumpled on a wet box. Around the puppy were the boxes they had put away to get a better sight of what attacked them.

And it was a puppy, a small, thin, and starved puppy.

Just a puppy?

The young girl opened her mound to speak. Silence, did the puppy deserve their sympathy? Surely it didn't after it attacked them, did it?

"It—" She strengtened her words for the blame she was about to put on the puppy. "It was the puppy's fault, mom! It—"

Her mother hushed her, bent down and picked the puppy.

"Rin, it wasn't his fault—" the mother handed the puppy to the girl and gently placed it on the girl's arms.

"—Rin, learn not to judge things quickly. I wonder where his parents are…." The mother said her voice warm, as a mother's should.

"He…." It was obvious the puppy was a male. But for her mother to call the puppy a he rather an it…. Why did she call the puppy 'he'?

"—But it was its fault…." The girl started again. Helplessness flooded her—did her mother mean it was her fault?

She didn't want to be blamed; she was to be a good girl….

"No, Rin, it wasn't his fault. And it wasn't yours either… you see… animals can think too. They have lives. This one—" She took the puppy again and rocked it gently in her arms like it were a baby. "—was probably afraid… Poor puppy, he's probably seen the worse from here…"

The mother lifted her head and looked around the dark alley. The girl did too, and suddenly she felt like she understood a bit.

How could she be so cruel? What if she was homeless like the puppy? What if she was an ophan like the puppy? Neglected and unwanted….

She turned to her mother.

"Mom, can we keep him? If he's alive that is…." She lowered her head as she asked.

What if the puppy died in the impact?

Her mother lowered her head and placed her gaze to the dog. After a while of silence, her mother lifted her head up once again.

The child waited. Was she going to shake her head?

A gentle smile formed on her mother's lips.

"Come on Rin, I'm sure the vet is still open." Her mother stated.

She felt happiness, pure happiness! How she would take care of the puppy! How she would give the puppy a wonderful life!

How she would give the puppy a name!

Her mother turned and started walking away. But she remained, thinking of a name…

'A…Angel….Angelo? That's the name….' She thought.

She raised her right hand in the air, and with much glee declared:

"Let's take Angelo to the vet, then to my home!! Then we'll go shopping, right mom?!"

Her mother only smiled at her, and they went on their way….

….with the puppy….

With Angelo.

~*~*~*~

3

His eyes fluttered open.

A thick cloth was covering his body. He couldn't move, he felt so broken, so weak…. And yet so comfortable…

He was in a big room filled with furniture, toys, a bed, a wardrobe, and other things she couldn't name, and yet knew.

He looked up and saw the ceiling. On it painted were stars, feathers and moons…. And it amazed him with its beauty. He had never seen that, never in his short lifetime.

Was he in what his mother had called 'heaven'?

His gaze went to the walls and they too were beautiful.

His gaze went to the toys and they made him want to jump out from wherever he was and play with them.

His gaze went to the cabinet and it made him wonder what mysteries lay inside.

And then, his gaze went to the bed, and his mind worked, and fear flooded him.

He was not dead; he was in a human's home.

Was he about to be killed? Where… where was he in?

A banging sound alerted his senses.

He struggled to turn to see every single angle of the room, but his body's weakness prevented him from doing so.

A couple of hands lifted him, and he felt a sense of déjà vu.

Was his nightmare happening again? Would the humans punish him for atacking one of them?

He shut his eyes tight. He made himself ready for whatever was to come….

What was to come?

He was afraid of pain, and then it came….

Whoever took him started rocking him like a baby.

Like a human baby?

He opened his eyes and saw a girl with raven hair and beautiful brown eyes.

She was gently rocking him, lulling him almost to sleep.

She was making him comfortable.

But why?

"Want some doggie cookies, Angelo?" the girl asked him, laying him on her lap and reaching out for something behind her.

'Angelo?' What was Angelo? Was it the name of the so-called 'doggie cookie'?

The girl produced a small brown thing in a strange pattern; a stick with seemingly to round balls on each end.

He let out a low growl, but the girl seemed to be amused by it, not frightened.

"Come on, Angelo, I'm not going to hurt you… here eat."

The girl's hand, which held the thing, came dangerously close to his open mouth.

He became afraid, what was the girl doing?

Then a thought entered his mind. He would bite the girl's hand—that would frighten her. That would teach her never to touch him ever again.

He opened his mouth, and the girl dropped the thing—totally out of his plan.

He was about to spew the thing out and bite the girl, when a wonderful taste filled his mouth.

Food, was it food? Or some nice tasting killer?

He swallowed it and opened his mouth once again.

Never mind if it were poison. It was still delicious food….

Th girl smiled. "Good boy" she remarked as she produced another 'doggie cookie'.

She dropped another one into his mouth, and he accepted it willingly.

He'd never tasted anything like it.

There was a sound of something turning, and he turned his gaze to the direction it came from. From his position now, he could see what once he couldn't see….

The brown rectangle on the wall—something he forgot the name of, opened up, and a tall woman entered in. She was carrying something that held white liquid in it.

"Rin, don't go spoiling your new pet—" The woman spoke as she came closer and sat beside the girl. She then handed the girl, 'Rin', the bottle. "—He's a puppy and so he needs lot's of milk. No junk foods just yet."

New pet? He was a pet? What was a pet?

"Mom, but—" the girl was about to start her protest when her mother forced the bottle into her hand.

"No buts. Puppies need milk, like babies do. And Angelo is a puppy." The woman's finger started tickling him. And he liked it.

'Angelo' he thought. 'Is that my…..name?'

"When you were I baby, I didn't go feeding you candies wondering how cute you will get. Besides he needs nutrients…" the woman explained.

The humans cared for him? But why? Why did humans care for him?

The girl placed the end of the bottle onto his mouth and he drank from it. Its contents… were so similar from what he got from his mother….

The rectangular brown thing on the wall opened again, this time a man peered into the room.

"Julia, so how's the new pet going along with our little Princess Rinoa?" the man inquired, a wide smile on his face.

"Just perfect, Hal." The woman answered. She then turned to Rinoa and spoke to her.

"Rin, get dressed, you don't want to miss the concert, do you?" the woman asked with a smile.

"No, of course not, mom!—" Rinoa took the bottle from her pet's mouth and stood up.

He wasn't going to get hurt…. He knew he wasn't going to get hurt. The humans… he was their new pet?

But why, how? How, after he attacked them?

Rinoa then placed him back on the soft small bed she took him from.

"—But I just wish we can bring Angelo with us…."

"When he's old enough, Rin. Now get dressed, your dad and I will be waiting outside."

Rinoa nodded, and walked over to the wardrobe.

Julia exited the room silently.

Angelo was amazed. The girl, Rinoa, wanted to take him to the 'concert'. Did that mean she cared for him?

Rinoa dressed, and she gave him a peck on his head.

Before exiting the room, Rinoa looked back and spoke to him in a way similar to how humans talk with other humans in an introduction.

"I'll come back later, don't go wandering around, Angelo." She said as she opened the door. "Oh, and remember my name. I'm Rinoa, my mom's called Julia, and my dad's called Hal. Wait for me Angelo."

And with that Rinoa exited the room, leaving a confused little puppy wondering and feeling somehow guilty.

He could not understand why this Rinoa cared for him, he could not understand why the humans helped him, but he knew he would….

~*~*~*~

4

He struggled to understand them. But he could not truly. He struggled to know why they saved him. But he could not truly.

For he could not talk to them as a human would.

For they could not read his thoughts.

For they were different.

Several years passed. He might have found it hard to understand them sometimes. But he did not find it hard to know them….and…and…

….to love them.

How ashamed would his mother be once she found out that her child had learned to love those who neglected their species….

Would his mother even be ashamed?

He didn't know.

He met other dogs, talked to them, but he did not like them truly.

They didn't understand him; they regarded him as lowly.

For while they awoke in a beautiful home with their parents, he was plucked out of one of the dark alleyways of Deling.

He also knew where he was. He knew where he lived, and who owned him.

He lived in the mansion owned by the General Hal Caraway, and Julia Heartilly Caraway, a singer. The girl he grew to love most was called Rinoa; she was their daughter.

In years, he became truly trusted, and he trusted them.

They took him to parties, Rinoa talked about how wonderful he was, how gifted he was, they took him to Julia's concerts once he was old and strong enough, and from there he grew to love the way Julia sang and played the piano.

He also admired Julia, and treated him like he was his mother.

From what Rinoa told him one day, if it weren't for Julia's kind-heartedness he wouldn't be part of the Caraway household.

He loved them all, loved Rinoa, loved Julia, and loved Hal.

But he wished he understood them more, and knew why they loved him despite what he did.

The Caraways were perfect, and that made it even harder for him to understand them. They were so complex… what did they find in him that made them love him…

They would never be shattered by death—they were perfect, how could they?

They would never be parted by anger and hatred—they were perfect, how could they?

But all these were before it happened.

And the it that happened made him understand humans, made him love her more, made him closer to them, and made him relate to them in a way no other from his species would have done.

~*~*~*~

5

It was a winter then.

In December.

Rinoa was eight.

And that night was the night Rinoa would sing at her school.

The night when she would sing like her mother Julia.

The night when it would happen….

Angelo, bigger and in an adult body, excitedly hopped onto the seat next to Rinoa's in Julia's car.

Tonight was the night when he would finally see Rinoa sing on a stage like her mother did.

Tonight was the night when he would see Rinoa's finger's fly across the piano playing her mother's best song 'Eyes on Me'.

Tonight was the night when he would see Rinoa dressed in a beautiful shiny white dress embedded with hundreds of beautiful pearls.

Her father, whom unfortunately would not be able to see her daughter's performance, gave the dress to her.

Rinoa was beautiful.

And Angelo loved the way his mistresses smiled in pure happiness.

He loved them, and he gave them a big place in his heart.

Perfect—everything was perfect; they were perfect.

The Caraway family was perfect.

"Ready to go?"

Asked Julia as she entered the backseat in her striking red spaghetti dress.

Angelo looked up to Rinoa, who hugged him. After hugging him briefly, she then turned to answer her mother's question.

"Mm—" she said with a nod. "I feel so excited mom, really, really, excited Mom!"

Her mother smiled.

"Honey, I'm so proud of you, you know…" Angelo watched as she produced a small velvet box.

"This is for you Rinoa, my beautiful angel." Julia declared as she handed Rinoa the box.

Rinoa's eyes brightened with happiness, and Angelo felt happy too.

He was so proud, so proud of his mistress.

Rinoa opened the small box and revealed a ring necklace.

"Wear the ring when you're older….. A friend of mine gave me that—" Julia paused.

"Then… it's yours mom… You don't want it? It's so beautiful…." Rinoa said, her hand holding the ring necklace extended to her mom.

"No, it's not that I don't want it. It's just that…a man gave it to me.. so I didn't want to wear it, especially when I started dating your father—" Julia trailed away, and Angelo could see her face slightly reddening.

Rinoa smiled, and she put on the necklace. "Oh…. So my mom had someone else before dad… was he cute, Mom?"

Julia smiled, and caused a couple of dimples to appear. "Yes, Rin, yes he was, very handsome in fact. And if he hadn't left I would have ended up marrying him instead of your father…"

"He was cuter that father then…. Mom, if you could change the past, would you—"

"No, of course not. I'm glad I married your father. You see bad things happen for the good things to come. So it's best you accept it…."

The conversation ended with Julia ordering the driver to go.

Angelo understood the truths in Julia and Rinoa's conversation. Bad things happen for the good things to come.

Like when his mother died, and he got hurt badly.

All of those happened so that he could be a part of the Caraway family.

Everything was fine, at least until they came halfway to Rinoa's school, when she declared that she had forgotten about her piano sheets.

It was a good thing though that they had set off an hour earlier their expected arrival time at the school—leaving enough time for them to arrive as expected if they hurried up.

So, they went back, and picked up Rinoa's piano sheets for the "Eyes on Me".

Julia wasn't that worried, as well as Rinoa.

And because of his mistresses' confidence, Angelo felt no worry.

But things were meant to go from good to bad.

Because of the icy streets, a car going at a fast speed skidded. It struck their car with great force that they were thrown off to another lane and their car was overturned when it landed.

They were still all right by then. Their car was as strong as it was expensive. They thought everything was going to be alright if they waited calmly and patiently for rescue.

Angelo believed it too.

But their fate took a drastic turn.

Angelo didn't really know what happened, but he knew.

A truck had tried to stop when it saw the accident, but because of the icy road, it skidded instead, and smashed them.

They, Rinoa and him, would survive, Julia wouldn't. She had made herself a shield for her daughter and him.

She saved them from death.

She sacrificed herself for her daughter's life, and for Angelo's.

It was almost an hour later, the time when Rinoa should have been singing beautifully at stage, playing the piano, when help arrived.

By then it was too late, far, far too late.

Julia was long dead by that time; cold as ice.

While she was still alive, Angelo recalled Rinoa singing for her mother.

Singing for her as if she was frightened that her mother would never hear her sing.

It was sad and Angelo felt the pain of someone's death once again.

He felt like crying as he heard Julia struggling to sing with her daughter.

Her voice as beautiful as it should be.

Julia shouldn't have died, why? Why did she die?

In Julia's final minutes, Rinoa was crying.

When she died, Rinoa cried more.

It was unfair.

Life was unfair to them.

And Angelo felt the anger again as the rescuers pulled them out of the wreckage.

~*~*~*~

6

He saw them—people, watching, gaping like idiots around the wreckage.

Among them, he saw Hal's ashen face.

How long have they been watching?

How long were they panicking, gaping, doing nothing, while they suffered inside?

While a soul slowly and painfully slipped away, there they were, talking about the horrible accident from afar.

They were all talk no action!

Could they not rush to the wreck and helped them out?

Were their feet glued to the ground?

Were they so far that it took them an hour to pull them out?

Were they deaf so as not to hear the sad songs sung from the wreckage?

He hated them, why didn't humans save one of their kind?

It was understandable that humans won't help a dog, but other people…other humans…..Why?

~*~*~*~

The rescuers pulled out a fear-stricken Rinoa out of the wreckage after they pulled out Angelo.

Her dress was torn, and red with both her mother and her blood.

Then they pulled out Julia's body.

And he saw Hal run towards his wife, his face with pure pain and sadness, ignoring his daughter and everyone else.

He heard gasps as the people saw the dead body of the famous singer.

He heard something from them that he hated.

They said, had they known that Julia was in there, they would have rushed to rescue her.

It angered him.

What if it was only Rinoa in that car? What if it was another person?

The problem was they didn't know!

They didn't know…..

~*~*~*~

Everything suddenly changed from that event.

The once always-happy Caraway Mansion became like a haunted house.

Its master, Hal, was rarely seen out.

Rinoa never sang a note since then.

She never even touched the old grand piano in the Family room ever since that.

Although Rinoa was very sad though—there was Angelo to entertain her.

Angelo did his best to make his mistress happy, and very soon, they became far more closer that Rinoa was with her father.

After a few months, Rinoa, the Rinoa Angelo first met was back.

But the old Hal Caraway was not back, and by the way the situation looked, he would never be back.

He blamed Rinoa for Julia's death.

Saying that if Rinoa wasn't dumb enough to forget her piano sheets, then Julia would have been alive.

He even wished that Rinoa were the one who'd died in the accident.

And Angelo didn't like that.

How could he do that to his own daughter?

How could he wish death for his own child—someone who carried his blood?

But then again, Angelo thought of the father whom he never knew.

Fathers were not the one who suffered to bring a child to the world—it was the woman, the mother.

Fathers did not understand the importance of a child as a mother did.

And Hal was not to blame.

He was afraid. No, he was confused.

But afraid or not, Hal and his daughter started fighting a lot.

The least Angelo could do was to make Rinoa forget of the anger that she felt for her father by playing with her.

At one time, He almost thought of himself as the replacement for Julia—a father when there was no Hal to be a father to Rinoa.

~*~*~*~

But Angelo was not able to suppress the bitterness Rinoa felt for her father.

He knew that Rinoa didn't understand why her father was like that.

They both didn't understand each other.

And now, it was him who understood them more.

If only he were human as so to speak to them both.

But he wasn't, he was a dog.

Six years after the accident, Rinoa was fed up.

Her father was fighting her or rather punishing her by shutting her to the world with no one to play and talk with but her dog and some servants occasionally.

To add to the slowly accumulating anger and bitterness, was her adolescence.

Everybody, and now as well as Angelo, knew well that once a child reaches adolescence, he/she had a tendency to become truly rebellious.

And Rinoa became rebellious, and she ran away.

And Angelo came with her.

He came with him partly to protect her, partly in an attempt to make her return to her father.

But he was a dog, what could he do?

Nevertheless he came, and protected her.

He silently promised to Julia that he would protect her.

And that one day, he would make the father and daughter unite—that would be when Rinoa is older. For he knew as long as Rinoa was still an adolescent and not an adult, she would not truly understand.

He would, he would, as long as he had life, he would.

Follow her to the edges of the earth, he would.

Protect her from all evil, he would.

Help her understand, he would.

For he now understood them.

For he now knew that human and his species, and all animals were the same.

That humans felt pain too as animals did.

That they lived a far more complicated life than animals did.

That a human's life was far unfair than an animal's life.

That loneliness and abandonment were also part of humans' life.

That his mistress was suffering what he had suffered.

He understood, and he knew and felt that he was the only one who would be able to help Rinoa get pass this obstacle—

—to reach the good thing after the bad thing.

~*~*~*~

~The End