Love This Life

[05.01.01] » by Nik

"When I realize the weight that's firmly on my shoulders, I just try and find a place I can take a walk on my blind side..."

It was a simple setting--the four of them versus one demon. There was a quick roundabout--"Go talk to it!" Ulala said, nudging Maya forward with her elbow. In turn, Maya had grabbed Ulala's shirt sleeve, bringing her along. Baofu was stepping forward at the same time, glancing over and silently agreeing to work with the two of them--just this once.

"Hey, you know what?" Ulala laughed, her voice loud for the demon's own entertainment, "I bet Baofu will never get married! I feel kind of sorry for him! I won't let it get that bad...if he doesn't find someone, then I'll do -- yeah right!" She covered her mouth to stifle a forced giggle, and Maya raised a delicate eyebrow.

Ulala noted that her friend didn't look too sure about her withdrawl. That would be addressed later.

"Oh god, don't even say that." Baofu sighed, bringing his hand to his stomach, "just thinking of that is a fate worse than--"

"SHUT UP, you MORONS!" The demon screamed, crushing his stick against the ground. "You're really pissing me off! No one would believe this nonsense!" And he attacked them, and they beat him, and they went on with their little excursion through the nightclub. Oh yeah, it happened all the time. It was old hat. It was the norm.

"Ma-ya," Ulala whispered to her friend. "What the hell? You don't truly believe that I like Baofu, do you?"

She widened her plum-colored eyes. "I didn't say that, did I?" She asked, bringing her hand to rest against her chest. "Ulala, of course I don't think you like him." She finished her sentence with a smile. Convincing.

Ulala didn't believe a word of it. "Whatever." She snapped, now annoyed with her company.

"I thought you guys did a pretty good job back there--guess the demon didn't fall for the act." Sighed Katsuya, raising his hands. Sarcastic.

Ulala and Baofu both glared back at him--no one believed their little act, it seemed. Act?

"Well, Baofu is sure to meet his match, I'm sure there are plenty of interested females..." She snickered as she spoke, not prepared for what the topic of her discussion was planning to say.

"Oh, sure. She's probably with the one guy on earth that would ever take you seriously." He sighed. "I'm not some hopeless fading female, Ulala. Looks like you'd better work on catching your man as soon as you possibly can--time's running out for you."

She frowned at the man, getting only a satisfied half-smirk back. She wouldn't take those words as any type of truth--doing that would slip her back into her jealousy. Quickly, she pushed them from her mind and turned back to Katsuya. "What about you, Katsuya? Is there a Mrs. Suou?" She asked, realizing that he'd probably take it as a come-on.

"Just his mother," Baofu laughed. Maya politely covered her mouth to conceal a giggle, and Katsuya shot them both a glare.

"No, no Mrs. Suou. Haven't got time." He replied.

"Married to the job, hmm?" Ulala continued, smiling back at him.

"The job requires me to be married to it. Most of the time it's a good life, though." He nodded to reassure himself.

Ulala sighed to herself. Yep, everyone was as depressed as she was, and they were all trying as hard as she was to hide it. Even Maya wanted something she couldn't seem to find. They walked on in silence, not bothering to attempt to contact any further demons--let them attack, the "good guys" were in a bad enough mood to kill. Good thing there weren't any stray clubbers in the twisted hallways.

The entire situation was strange, and for the first time, Ulala allowed herself to ponder it. She believed in charms and fortune telling and spirits and everything else that came with the supernatural--but there had always been a distance between she and it. Now they were all thrown together in a strange place that was her real world--only, it didn't quite seem to be that. Was there something else beyond this place? Sometimes she thought she wasn't getting the whole truth.

"Maya knows," she thought to herself, "but she's not telling anyone else. It has something to do with her deja-vu boy, I think, anyway. Could Katsuya be hiding something, too?" She, as much as everyone else, wanted to know the reasons behind all of these paranormal events. Ulala decided not to say anything. The silence was fitting.

Every once in a while, though, Katsuya's coraframs managed to clack loudly against the tiles. Maya thought to hum a little tune. Katsuya's steps provided percussion.

"Listen, can you hear that? Just wait here." Baofu broke the almost-silence and looked at the rest of the party, letting them know by facial expression alone that he was serious. After that, he disappeared behind the corner.

There was some muted scuffle in the room, and the bang of a gun. Ulala was the first to rush to the other side.

"What the hell is going on?" She demanded, glaring at Baofu, and then allowing her eyes to sweep quickly over the two unconscious men on the carpet.

Baofu lit a cigarette, uninterested in the woman's question. "The password is 'Panther;' let's get going." He walked past her with an aire she detested--that whole 'I'm better than you' conceit that made her hate him in the first place.

"That yellow door--it seems odd; out of place. Why would something like that be here, in this club? It's more than just a casino, of course, but I wonder who knows of it?" Katsuya started, talking mainly to himself. Maya nodded in quiet agreement. Katsuya was the King of Non Sequitur. Whenever it was time to do something else, he had to make some odd, out-of-place reference. This time, it wasn't necessarily out of place, but it seemed like he should be more concerned with the men on the carpet than with the door they were about to go through.

"Ma-ya, did you see the way he just ignored me?" Ulala asked her friend, once they had a put a little space between themselves and the men. "Sometimes I think they both think I'm stupid...especially Baofu. I'm not stupid. I don't seem that way, do I?" Ulala--always concerned with herself. Maya knew better, though.

She had detected the hint of distress in her voice. Whenever Ulala didn't like something about herself, or something that may have been insinuated about her, she started jumping to conclusions and trying to change everything. "No, I don't think you seem stupid at all. You are definitely different, and you speak your mind, that's all." Maya shrugged and smiled. "Just try to be positive."

Ulala nodded, the white tips of her hair brushing down against her skin. "You're right," she said. "I guess I'm just over sensitive."

Maya wondered--if someone told Ulala she was pretty, did she think that she had to struggle to become beautiful? If someone told her her clothes were nice, would she work harder to obtain "perfect" clothes? You couldn't even compliment the woman without it turning into a room for improvement.

She sighed--her best friend was hopeless. No wonder she couldn't find a man to fall in love with. Of course, it was more than obvious that she had indeed found a man to fall in love with. She smiled to herself. Everyone was so miserable, everyone was so miserable that it was almost riotous. Where was the positive thinking?

Katsuya had forgotten that they were still walking. Usually, the trails were dotted with demons. Why was everything so strangely deserted? They'd just come through only moments ago. Had Tatsuya been through? Had he cleared a way for them? Impossible. With his keen ears he would have heard him. Maybe he would have even felt him here. Brothers possessed a special bond, some would say. Katsuya sighed. He missed his brother. He wasn't being a good brother, was he?

Baofu came to a stop before the gold-painted door, leveling the smirk before it could truly reach his lips. His glasses would hide his eyes, so he didn't have to worry about them seeing that. While everyone else cringed at the possibilities behind the door, he looked forward to them. He hoped for action beyond the lock.

"What's the password?" Squawked a voice from beyond as Baofu lightly knocked.

"Panther," He replied. Magically, the door opened.

They walked in. Katsuya's coraframs shut up when they met the plush, patterened carpet of the Secret Casino room.

No one turned to look when they entered, and only Ulala remained curious about who had asked for the password and opened the door.

Across the room, on a raised portion of the floor, sat a distinctively ugly Chinese man. Baofu shifted uncomfortably and hoped no one would notice. Of course, ever-watchful Ulala noticed right away.

"Baofu, are you okay?" She softly asked.

Truly, her concern misplaced his normal attitude, and he faultered at finding a comeback. She was worried about him, and he liked the feeling. He didn't like liking the feeling--getting close and being careful wasn't his thing.

"Who are you?" Questioned Katsuya, leaving Ulala with hurt feelings and an ignored query.

Maya stood by Katsuya, drawing her weapon and preparing a defensive stance. The Chinese man didn't feel like talking, it seemed, not until Baofu opened his mouth.

At this point, Ulala lost interest. She was pissed. Baofu the Asshole didn't have time to answer her, but he surely had time to chat with the geezer on the couch. Damn it, that was the last time she was ever going to give a single thought to him. From now on, she'd forget he existed, as that was how he prefered to think of her.

Maya had to concentrate on the pending battle no matter how badly she wanted to turn around and talk to Ulala. The woman was going to be a victim forever, at least in her own mind. It was boiling back down to that time when she had been used for her money. That time had ruined so many things about her best friend--the worst of it being the raging jealousy that had often gotten the best of her. Now, though, she was just settling into her pain cave. Baofu, don't block her in. Help her out. Maya wanted that more than anyone else. Not more than anything, though.

Katsuya felt utterly a part of nothing.

A battle cut into the sad/pissed/hopeful/confused thoughts of the group, and their imaginary lives were put on hold by the reality of demon-possession. There was, for a moment, an impossibly hard match with a popular high-schooler with the shadow of a joker, and afterwards, a sudden thought that went as quick as it came.

It was shared by them all--what is real, what isn't? Are my feelings important, or do they matter at all? Why am I being mocked? Who am I, really?

But wasn't it normal to ask these things?

The group left the room--another person saved, another blockade pushed out of the way. Back to the Velvet Room--back to the stupidly important feeling of continuing on their Hero Quests. No one was the wiser--all simply following along.

Katsuya's coraframs clicked and clacked as they moved on their trip through strange and ridiculous settings. No one questioned their reasons for being. Any thoughts were kept silent--whether they were about eachother or about themselves.

Maya laughed out loud and no one asked why. Let's think positive--let's all love this life, whatever it holds.

note: I just finished Persona 2 the other day and started thinking of the incredibly sad and strange worlds that it shatters. It got me thinking that I'd certainly be selfish when faced with a situation, and definitely unpredictable--hence this little weird piece of fiction. After all, it's just another day.