The Gift

[05.01.01] » by Negative Creep

Shera had seen quite a few odd things since she met the Captain. Meteors, insane SOLDIERs, and females whose busts defied everything she'd learned in physics were just a few of the odd things she had been subjected to. But she didn't think she had ever, ever been as stunned by a sight as she was by the scene that greeted her the morning of February 14th.

There was a baby Tonberry with a bright red bow tied around it's tail sitting at the foot of her bed. In it's paws was clutched a heart-shaped Valentine's card.

***

Cid was smoking his early morning cigarette on the back doorstoop when he heard the shriek. Dropping his cigarette and his mug of tea he sprinted back inside to see what was wrong, visions of villainy dancing in his head.

A strange sight greeted the blond dragoon's eyes when he reached the bedroom. Shera was perched at one end of the bed, hair mussed, glasses off, and a shotgun clutched in her hands. She was unsteadily aiming the weapon at his Valentine's Day gift to her, which he had thoughtfully left at the foot of the bed.

Obviously she didn't like it. Damn.

Confused and a little hurt, Cid let out a yelp and snatched the baby Tonberry from the foot of the bed, seconds before Shera let the shotgun fly with both barrels. The noise was deafening, but the only things damaged were the bedroom wall and Cid's pride. Both were left a little worse for the wear.

"Dammit woman, what are you doing?! Don't you like your present?"

Cid looked really hurt now. He had gone to all the trouble of catching this damn critter, thinking it would be the perfect pet for his beloved, only to have her try to blow it to pieces the moment she woke up. He would never understand the female mind.

Likewise, Shera would never understand male mentality. She had given up long ago, content to live and let live, but this was going to take some explaining. "Cid.......why the hell was there a monster sitting on my bed? And more importantly, why is it wearing a ribbon?"

Cid pouted, still annoyed at this unfriendly reaction to his gift, but explained anyway.

"Well..........I just...I wanted to do somethin' nice for ya. And I didn't know what you wanted, this bein' the first year we've been together and all. So I remembered what you said about getting a pet, and....well........I got you one!"

Shera raised one eyebrow and shifted her eyes to the green creature cradled in Cid's arms, which rolled it's huge yellow eyes to meet her gaze.

It bared its tiny fangs and hissed at her.

Shera started back and involuntarily reached for her gun again. Cid patted the tiny creature's head and beamed proudly.

"See? It already likes you!!"

Shera sighed. He couldn't get me a cat, oh no. He couldn't get me something unthreatening. He had to bring home the Bane of North Crater.

***

"Cid, I love you very much, and I know you tried very hard to get me a good Valentine's Day gift. But we are not keeping that.....that predator in the house. Can't we just get a kitten instead?"

The two of them were watching the Tonberry toddle around the living room, exploring every crevice with it's tiny blunt snout and blank yellow eyes. It had already become attached to Cid, squeaking happily every time he paid it the slightest bit of attention. Shera, however, it had taken a distasteful view of. Every time she looked at the tiny beast it hissed and made stabbing motions in her direction.

Cid never noticed, though. He was already enamored of the little beastie. It was just so cute!!

"I think.......I think we should name it Cessna."

Shera sighed. There was no changing the Captain's mind when he was set -- the Tonberry was here to stay. She gave "Cessna" a final shuddering glance and went into the kitchen to make some tea.

Cid patted the Tonberry on it's scaly head a final time. "Don't worry about her, fella. She'll learn to love you."

The blonde got up and exited the house, going out to work on the newly redone Tiny Bronco. Cessna was all alone in the living room.

It's a little known fact that Tonberries are extremely sociable creatures, and Cessna was no exception. Bored with the living room, lonely for his fellow Tonberries, the little creature wandered into the kitchen where the harassed Shera had gone. Shera didn't notice her company (she was busy heating water to make the Captain's tea with) and the Tonberry, chattering quietly to itself, soon found an item the harried scientist had dropped - a large, shiny kitchen knife.

Cessna paused. It peered curiously at the knife, then up at the busy Shera. A gleam came into it's beady yellow eyes. Once again its gaze went from the knife edge to Shera. It looked back and forth between the two several more times before a germ of an idea blossomed in it's mind. Oh yes, this would be quite entertaining.....

And, for the second time that day, Cid came running indoors at the sound of a scream.

The scene he was greeted with this time was almost as strange as the one witnessed earlier that morning. Shera was standing on the kitchen cabinet armed with a frying pan, glaring down at the floor where Cessna sat, chirring softly to itself and brandishing a large kitchen knife merrily.

Cid let out a shreik and swooped down on the Tonberry, jerking the knife from it's paws with one swift motion.

"No no NO Cessna!! Stop thaaaat! BAD Tonberry! Don't you know......."

Shera smiled. At last, the truth would come out.

"........That you could hurt yourself playing with shit like that?"

The female scientist groaned and put her face in her hands.

***

Shera refused to stay in the house alone with Cessna.

"It tried to STAB me! Can we pleeeeeeassee get rid of it? Please, Captain?"

Cid looked puzzled. Shera wouldn't lie; she was one of the most honest people he knew. He'd trusted her with his life more than once, and she was the reason he had fought Sephiroth. She was everything to him. But.....the cute little Tonberry just couldn't be a threat, could it? Maybe Shera was confused.

"But.....but Cessna would never do that! He loves you! He's your pet, after all. You........you really don't like my gift?"

Cid's lower lip trembled ever so slightly.

Shera rolled her eyes heavenward. Cripes, not that look. The Captain had gotten what he wanted with her more than once using that little gem. She met his eyes once, and that was all it took for her to capitulate.

"Fine, fine. We'll keep the thing a little longer, since I know you got it for me with the best intent. But if it tries to maim me one more time, it's going back to North Crater. Got it?"

Cid face went back to it's usual cheerful, boisterous expression.

"Of course, baby! Anything for you." He went to put his arms around her, and she gave in with only a hint of reluctance. Cid hid his grin. That puppy dog look had worked for him more times than he could recall.

***

A few days went by, and as usual peace reigned in Rocket Town. Cessna stayed out of trouble, Shera stayed out of it's way, and Cid stayed happy. Shera also had taken to locking the bedroom door without Cid's knowing; she'd live with the Tonberry, but she would NOT sleep with it wandering around the house. She wondered where it went at night, but never presented the question to the Captain, fearing he might want to let it sleep in their room or something as equally strange.

Then one night she got her answer. Early one morning *3:05, to be exact; or so the bedside clock said* there was a frantic rapping at the door. Still half asleep, she jerked a robe on, grabbed her shotgun from beside the bed, and went to see what was up.

She glanced at Cid as she left the room, still snoring peacefully away. I wonder if shotgun pellets would even penetrate that thick skull.

When she answered the door, she was met with half the population of Rocket Town standing on her doorstoop looking agitated. Leading the sleepy-looking mob was a neighbor of Cid and Shera's, an old man only known as Pops. He looked pretty damn scary to Shera in the daytime with his wild grey hair and empty eyes, but at three in the morning he was absolutely terrifying. She jumped about a foot backwards before she realized who it was.

"Erm......can I help you people?" she mumbled, still half asleep, pointing the shotgun at the group warily.

"Your damn monster has been eating our pets!" the old man crowed. The rest of the townsfolk agreed with raised and agitated voices.

"I saw that green thing you keep dragging off my cat!"

"It ate my Chihuahua!! Right in front of me!!"

"It comes 'round my house every night and peeps in my daughter-in-law's bedroom window!! And she sleeps naked!"

The entire crowd turned to stare at Pops, his son included.

"Whaaat?" the old man whined.

Shera gave the old fellow an odd look, then continued to address the angry mob. "Now look people, I don't know what's been eating your livestock and peeping in your windows, but it can't be our Tonberry. He sleeps in the house, you see. And we keep our doors locked. So I'd advise you all to go elsewhere to find the culprit, alright?"

"Oh yeah?" a voice rang out from the crowd "Why did I just see the little monster at the rocket then?"

Shera went pale. Oh shit. The Captain's new rocket. If that thing gets into the engine room with those tiny little paws....

Cid came to the door yawning sleepily. The only article of clothing he was wearing was a pair of tight boxer shorts with little planes printed on them in blue. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and walked up next to Shera.

"Hey, what's goin' on? You left the bed all cold and --"

The pilot looked out at the crowd.

"Aww shit."

***

The crowd was dissolved soon enough. Between the Venus Gospel, Shera's shotgun, and Cid's tight boxers, most of the people were glad enough to turn tail and run back to their homes. After they were all dismissed, Cid and Shera set out for the rocket.

Shera told Cid about Cessna's exploits on the way.

"Awww......just because he ate some damn poodle we've gotta get rid of him?"

Shera sighed. She knew how attached Cid was to the little beast, but........

"Look Cid. I've tried to live with him. But there's a fine line between adorable mischievousness and frightening, serial killer-like behavior. And have you ever thought how Cessna might feel, trapped in that house all day? Tonberries need room to roam, and explorers to terrorize. We don't have either."

Cid looked absolutely crushed. Shera laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort her Captain. "He needs to be free, Cid."

Cid sighed, staring at the moon lowering over the Nibelheim mountains. "I know, I know, and it's not really keeping him as a pet that's bothering me. It's just.........I really, really wanted to get you something you'd like this Valentine's Day, and I ^%$* up, as usual. I just....I didn't want to disappoint you, that's all. That, and it was really damn cute."

Shera smiled, and before the distraught Captain could react she had thrown her arms around his neck.

"Oh Captain........that's so sweet!! But...but you could've just gotten me flowers or something, you know....."

Cid wrinkled his brow. "Flowers?"

The moment was mercifully cut short, however, by loud banging noises emanating from the nearby fuel tanks of the rocket, Cid's new Shinra 27. Cid dropped Shera like a sack of flour and ran in the direction of the gigantic machine.

"My poor rocket!! What's that little shit doing to it?!!"

Shera grumbled loudly and dusted herself off from the dew-drenched ground, following after the Captain. Sometimes I wonder why I even try.....

A shreik came from the fuel tanks, and Shera sped up her pace.

When she got to the tanks, she saw as equally strange a sight as the ones that had greeted Cid in the days before. Cessna was holding one of Cid's lighters, jumping around like a tiny green monkey in the interlacing bars of the storage bay that housed the fuel tanks. Below the frantically leaping and chittering Tonberry stood Cid, brandishing the Venus Gospel and using language that would have singed most ears.

"That is IT! It tried to burn down my baby, my rocket!! Tomorrow morning the little &^%* is GONE!"

Shera smiled.

***

The next afternoon Cessna was safely housed in a cat carrier, ready to be taken to it's new home.

"Thanks, Cid. Marlene's been buggin' me to get her a damn pet. I'll bet she'll love tha' little sucka."

Cid smirked. What Barret didn't know wouldn't kill him. Marlene, on the other hand....

"No problem, Barret. Just...um.....don't get any more pets, eh? That one's a damn handful as it is."

Barret laughed. "Don' have to tell me, brotha'."

As he turned to walk down the road, the Tonberry peered through the bars at Cid, and he could have sworn that it smiled at him. And....was that a lighter in it's paws? Cid shook his head and went back inside the house. He had his own gift to give, tucked neatly under his arm in a box.

Shera was in the kitchen, making tea as usual. Cid tapped her on the shoulder, and as she turned, he shoved the box into her open arms.

"Here. I hope this is a damn sight better than the last pet I got you."

Shera looked a bit puzzled *and a little apprehensive* but she unwrapped the box anyway.

"Ohhhhh........Cid!!"

Cid cringed.

"...........It's adorable!!"

Shera was hugging the life out of her new pet, a tiny blue-grey kitten. It looked at her straight in the face and mewled, giving the rocket scientist a tentative lick on the nose. Shera squealed again and resumed squeezing the kitten, making it's tiny eyes bug out ever so slightly.

"Oh Cid. This is better than any flowers ever could be. Thank you so much!!"

Cid beamed. His work for this year was done.

"I think I'll name her...........Sparkplug!"

Shera put the kitten down on the linoleum floor and went to get a tin of fish for her new charge. As she left the room, the kitten turned to face Cid. It's green eyes narrowed down to slits. The tiny red mouth opened ever so slightly, and a low growl rose from it's throat.

Hissssssssssssssssssssss!!

Cid's eyes widened.

Oh no.