Regret

[04.12.01] » by Douglas Pearlstein

Before

The click, click, click of shoes impacting against a marble floor ceased momentarily. The hiss of small hydraulics and metal grinding against metal announced the entrance of one Rufus Shinra. Double doors slid apart and what lay ahead of the young, red-haired, aristocratic youth, was a vast expanse, dotted with pieces of invaluable art and furniture, but what was most impressive was the amount of unused space. Only the wealthy could afford such luxury. The purpose, however, was standing at the back of the room, staring out huge glass windows. The person was composed of average stature, thinning hair, and a rather tight, black suite; Rufus started towards his father.

As the room engulfed him, Rufus noted that every object, including himself, was bathed in an eerie golden light, emanating from fake candles located here and there. The atmosphere was entirely surreal. As he approached, the reflection of a face appeared in that giant window, it was not looking at him, but seemed to focus on every minute detail of the city, dozens and dozens of stories below. A train could be seen spiraling along its track in the bowels of the city, spewing pollution from its enormous stack. The only other discernable objects were the buildings that were still standing, buildings in disrepair, and buildings in ruin. This was the city that Father Shinra governed and owned.

Finally, Rufus would break the silence. "I have returned, father. I have completed my allotted time learning of the world." That he had, for several years ago Father Shinra had advised Rufus to see and learn of the world he would some day rule. Rufus figured it was a clever way to temporarily exile him. But, the horrors and atrocities of the land had sunk deeper into Rufus than he, or any other person, could have possibly imagined. During that time he had fostered a growing hatred for his father. Instead of being properly schooled, years had been waited absorbing emotions through horrid events, but one of which stood prominent before the young man: loneliness. What stood literally before him, still in silence, was his father. "Do you have nothing to say to me?"

Father Shinra turned slightly toward his son. "Now that your learning is complete I have your first assignment. It involves a Mako Reactor in the north." He had yet to look at or address his son; his eyes were still intent upon the city.

".... What is out there father?" Rufus was now growing angry and his voice was breaking. For years he had not seen his father, why wouldn't he look at him? Why had he not even acknowledged him? "Well.... what is out there?!"

Slow and deliberately, calm and even, Father Shinra spoke as he turned to address his son. "Let me tell you what is out there: fear is out there. ; the fear of past mistakes that cannot be undone. The fear that events set in motion long ago are going horribly wrong, and that others, not I, will be made to reap the fruit.... One of the many fears is found in my Great War Hero and Shinra Knight." An artificial candle malfunctioned and burned out by the bed. Father Shinra stopped to swallow. "While he cannot be found, he has been seen.... here in The City."

Rufus stood there as his father continued to speak. Fear for his father and loneliness for himself, he thought. Quite a pair. And The City was just an empty vessel that held souls passing from one plane of existence to the next. His mother had been one of those; she died before her time, but then again, it seemed as if everyone still had some agenda to take care of before they shuffled off. What was the word people used to describe when they felt sorrow and loss, Rufus thought?

After

Two deaths and two parental lives gone. Rufus had been sent north at his father's request. The cold and bitter air of the northern Mako Reactor seemed to hold and repeat the words over and over. Your father is dead. How many times had Rufus heard it? Or rather, how many times did he repeat it to himself? The trip by airship back to The City, back to Midgar, was long, cold, and silent; his loneliness only festered inside his fleeting soul. The ship past over snow covered mountains, green, rolling hills, and finally to the coast of the northern continent. Then came the sea.

Massive, dark, and unknown, Rufus thought. But it harbored millions of thriving lives oblivious to the pain he was feeling. No different than The City and no different than all those people. Towards the horizon and the setting sun is where he made is oath. Swearing upon the darkness of the sea, the coming night, and his empty soul, Rufus swore to reek vengeance upon all those who stood against his ideals. In particular, one person standing higher than all the rest: the Great War Hero, the Shinra Knight. As if a battle was raging inside his body, the loneliness was slaughtered by the growing hatred of the people. The same people he would now govern. Not govern, rule.

When presented for the new President of Shinra and Midgar, Father Shinra's body was cold and rigid. First there was loneliness, then came fear, and finally darkness. Inside his father's room there was death, and outside hatred. It was at that moment he remembered he had not said goodbye to his father or he to Rufus. There was a word to describe what the young, red-haired, aristocratic youth felt. He was standing alone, in silence, and over his father's body, when a noise was heard on the balcony not far away. Rufus remembered what the word was called...

Regret

Author's Notes:

This is my first story for The GIA and my first set in a video game world. I designed this text with the primary goal of expressing emotions through visual and metaphoric objects. The "Great War hero, the Shinra Knight", is one of the latter. (I'm certain everyone knows whom I am talking about). I took inspiration for the Father Shinra / Knight relationship from the Tyrell / Roy relationship in the movie Blade Runner. I feel it worked quite well in this instance, for I felt both characters held quite a bit of sympathy from the audience in their respective mediums. I could go on and on about my purposes, but that would ruin the foundation of the story. I just hope everyone enjoyed it!