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Mint's Pumpkin Issue[03.17.01] » by Minty-Fresh It was the great Harvest Festival * Somewhere in town* Mint
perched herself on the side of the water fountain, while Rue was standing on
the other side doing absolutely nothing. She felt extremely bored to the point that she would fall
asleep with her head under water. (Wow how fun) "So, Rue, wanna purchase some helium?" Mint asked
hopefully. Rue cringed at the weirdness and acwardness of Mint's
question. (Pssst maybe she's on weed watch out) "Why would you -as in us-
want to buy helium for?" "I dunno, stick it in my ear" Mint stated. "..." Rue was disturbed by Mint's weirdness today.
"Ooooook, someone had to much sugar today." "I'm just being stupid that's all." Mint chuckled.
A Short woman with a Dutch looking green dress approached
the two of them looking for some customers to try her * doo doo doo* Pumpkin
pie! "Oh hello, I've made the best pumpkin pie and I'd like
you to try it, oh and by the way my name Hitomi" Hitomi said. "Did you say...pump-pumpkin?" Mint stuttered "Yes I did! Would you like to try it?" Rue explained to Hitomi, that Mint has a slight phobia
called 'Pumkiniuos maxiphobia' "Yes, Mint is a little strange but you know what I
mean" Rue explained. Mint just couldn't stand being in the presents of a pumpkin
so she slapped it out of Hitomi's hands and -SPLAT- right on the ground.
"Mint…. You're an idiot" Rue muttered "Look what you did!" "You ruined my prize wining pumpkin pie, you..you silly
dumb-dumb head!" Hitomi cried in tears. Mint turned her back to Hitomi (who was crying her eyes out
and hitting the ground). Rue tried calming them down a bit. "All right all
right! Let's stop crying and just apologize" Hitomi looked at Rue, then Mint. "You'll pay for it Mint!" Mint look surprised
"Pay? For the pumpkin?" "Yes, Mint! I'm going to make another pumpkin pie, and
YOU are going to help me!" "What? How?" "You have to go to the forest and get me all the items
I need on a list that I'm going to make now!" Hitomi scribbled on the
piece of paper, and handed it to Mint. "Get everything on that list before noon!" She
instructed. "If you don't, the Harvest festival feast will be
ruined!" Rue nodded in agreement. "Uh, you should go alone
Mint" Mint slapped Rue in the face as if he really deserved it,uh
yeah he did disserve it! That Spongy loner! "Are you crazy! I'm not going
alone!" Rue snapped back " Arrrrg! That smarts! Besides Mint
you should go alone, maybe that'll teach you a lesson. Maybe you can be less
aggressive too." Hitomi was getting
very impatient "Take this basket and list with you, now just go!" Mint was uncomfortable about this but she did it anyway. As she was on her way out she took a look at the list Hitomi
gave to her. It reads: 2 Powder Flowers 5 Bay leafs 2 Sugar Canes 5 Cinnamon Sticks 1 honeydew Plant and A Pumpkin! Mint thought it was no problem, until she realized that she
never heard of any of the items.
*** As Mint was walking down the forest, she had no idea where
to get the two powder flowers, so Mint searched for Bell so she could find out
where this powder-whatever-ma-bob flower was. Miraculously, Mint found her sitting on the edge of a
flowing river. "Hey, Bell!" Mint greeted "I need your
help...not that I really needed it anyway" "." Bell replied
"." "....?" Mint asked "...." ".....!" Mint shouted "....!" "Well..?" "Eh?" Mint
wasn't really hanging on to Bell's ...-ing. "You were going to ask me something?" Bell asked. Mint took out her list and showed it too Bell. "I'm
picking up some *cough cough* important things for some girl." Mint
explained. Bell peered at the list. "Hmm, I know where the Powder
Flower is!" "Really?" Mint cheered out. "Hooray!" "But, can you do me a favor?" "Sure! I could!" "I was doing some yoga in the flower patch, then I
accidentally left one of my yoga tapes there." Mint scratched her head. "Um, I didn't know you did
yoga?" Bell crossed her legs. "I do it because my stress level
is around 2,000,000,000%, mmmkay and besides…my hair is turning gray!" "um, Bell." "What?" "Your hair is naturally gray" Mint informed. "Oh....yeah.....THAT IS NOT! FUNNY, Now go get my yoga
tapes!" From the record of stress, Bell just lost another hair. "oh wow! Another hair" Mint teased "Ok now
where is this place?" Bell pointed outwards to a path. "Its straight down
there, then take a right left right then a left then you past a turning fork
and turn left then go left again, then walk up a big hill and turn right two
times then left then take another right and then a left then you go straight
for a while then you see an owls nest then turn left and then go straight and
then make a left and then a right!" "How the hell am I supposed to follow that
direction!" Mint exclaimed "I need to get there today, please and
thank you!" Bell thought for a moment and then realizes that was the way
to God's country. "You know, I have easier directions." "Could've told me that before you silly twit."
*** Elena ran outside of
her house to meet Rue. (She's an idiot by nature so she stopped to think
about why she came out running.) Instead, Rue just walked by her to see why she was thinking
so hard. "Hey don't be so hard on yourself, If you think anymore
*whisper* your brain will explode." Rue said, trying to stop her from
looking like an idiot in public. "Eep! My brain?" Elena asked. "Uhhhhhhhh...yeah" Rue started. "Anyway,
why did you come out here?" "Uh yeah! I remember yay! So where is Mint?" "She's out." Rue snapped back. "Now lets get
some apple juice and memorize our A,B,C's" "Yay, A B C" Rue guided her to one of the pie in the face target wall. "Now, Elena! Stay very still." *** "I finally I'm here!" Mint shouted as she walked
down the sweet smelling flower patch. The Powder flowers give out a sweet smell that is very
relaxing, usually people use for insomnia when anybody can't get to sleep. Mint just spotted the yoga tapes *Thank goodness it wasn't
hard to find* "All I gotta do is get two of these babies" she
said aloud to herself "::Yawn:: Oy
vey! I feel a little…..::Yawn:: Sleepy" Mint suddenly perked herself up, she needs to get these
ingredients before noon, but the flowers were so beautiful and sprayed out such a lovely sent. "ooooooooooh it's raining flowers!" Mint said with
slurred speech. (Obviously these things make you hallucinate big time) "Err, If I just grab em' and go, I'll make it in
time!" She thought. Mint stumbled out of her weird state, thus grabed the deadly
(and lovely) powder flower. Mint then dragged herself out of the patch with an ichty
nose and a itchy bum. *** With Bell still siting in the same place, with a slightly
shorter temper. "I got it Bell!" Mint said sleepily "Here's your yoga tape" "...ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" Bell moistened her hand
toward her little stepping stone. "Oooooooh ok! I got the dill." Mint (Carefully)
dropped the yoga tapes, then went on her way. Now she's walking with a shorter pawn of: 2 Powder Flowers 5 Bay leafs 2 Sugar Canes 5 Cinnamon Sticks 1 honeydew Plant And A Pumpkin! This time Mint skipped the Bay leafs and just say to Hitomi
'I forgot' and if she gets mad, screw her! *** Now that Mint is refreshed and a little calmer. She found
herself in another part of the forest. Mint saw a young *ahem * young boy hanging on a tree,
preparing to jump to his death. Mint stopped under the tree for a closer look. "Excuse me." Mint started "Are you going to kill yourself? The boy looked down "Yes, but can you move out of the
way?" "Um why should I?" Mint asked forcefully. "Because I don't want to land on your tush I mean
moo." Mint yelled, "What did you say you dirty old man?" The boy shouted back. "I'm not a dirty old man, I'm a
dirty young man!!" Mint looked back at her list. "Mr.
Kill-myself-for-the-hell-of-it, before you kill yourself, may I ask you a
question?" The boy looked down at Mint. "Ask away" "Well could you tell me where the sugar cane's
grow?" "Hmmmmm well I left my empty shotgun and combat boots
next to the patch, do you need directions?" Mint didn't feel comfortable taking directions from a
polite-maniac, but she was desperate. "Ok" She agreed. "Oh yeah by the way I'm Koryouku , Nice to meet
you!" He greeted her. "The
sugar cane patch is over to the left, then you take a left left right, then a
right left left, right?" " Right! I think" She agreed "No its left, then right, right?" "Ok it's a right right left right?" Then Mint just
walked away and just relay on her natural brainpower. The rude pigtailed red head walked right on ahead and found
the Sugar cane patch right away, either she took a very large step and happened
to be at the right place or she was drunk. No she wasn't drunk, nor had very
long legs…. Koryouku had long legs and
was drunk as ox. (Duh don't take directions from a maniac, Mint) where were we? "Yay I found the sugar canes!" She cheered. Then the red took out her geometric weapon-thing-ma-jagger
and chopped two canes off. "Finally!" Mint sighed. She grabbed the combat
boots and the empty shotgun. She then traveled back to the tree where Koryouku was still
hanging in there. What was better is Mint was with even a shorter pawn that sourly
consist of: 2 Powder Flowers 5 Bay leafs 2 Sugar Canes 5 Cinnamon Sticks 1 honeydew Plant And A Pumpkin! Kory watched Mint travel back with his combat boots and
empty shotgun. "Ah, my old combat boots and shotgun, I wont be seeing
those anymore." Kory shaded a tear from his eyes. "I wish I wasn't
going to die!" Mint started cry a bit too, she dropped her items and began
to cry. (WUS!) "I can't believe you're going die!!" She Wailed. Koryouku stopped and thought for a moment, he didn't have to
die (But it would be nice if he did) after all not everything turns out right. "Hey hey hey!" He shouted. "I'm dead yet! I
can still enjoy the lovely smells my combat boots makes and that empty clicking
sound my shotgun makes too." Mint stopped her fake crying then looked at Kory. (Drama
Queen) "You're crazy, I ought to be going now 'cause I gotta
get back to Hitomi before noon." Mint glanced at her watch thus at Kory. "That's all you have to say? Well I'd like to say
something as well" Koryouku cleared his throat. "YOU
SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" Mint grabbed her basket and slowly walked out of Koryouku's
sight "I'll leave you up there till the cows come home. Now let's act like
Al Gore and leave" "What if cows
don't go home?"
*** Mint skipped along the dusty debris trial back home; as a
lanky, thin women with a poncho stalked her. She pounced at her and
screamed. "I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN!!" Mint froze in her tracks, she stood there with a strict face
and said. "Whadda whadda?" The lanky, thin women peered into Mint's face. "What? Is there a gummy bear on my face?" "Oh I'm sorry." The lanky, thin women apologized.
"I thought you were my husband!" Mint thought in her mind: "She just meet stressful
Bell, Willing-to-kill-himself Koryouku and a tall leaping mad women prepared to
kill. Although Mint could've went to the local supermarket and bought all the
items she needed at 5 minutes or less."
But since Mint isn't that bright, she just went on with her weird ways. "Which way home?" Mint promptly asked. (Unaware
that this person could be a mad killer leading her to her house) Lanky, thin women suddenly clicked into nice and pleasant
mode. "Oh hello, my name is Keyi" Mint re-thought about her question and realized that is not
the correct answer to her question. Thus she took a breath and asked her again. "Which way home?" Keyi (on the other hand) told her a half-decent answer.
"It depends on where home is." She hypothetically said. "I think
home is where the heart is." Mint caught herself in a situation with a lanky thin and
high vocabulary mad husband killer. She might as well give up or go directly to
the point. "My brain is
telling me to tell you that I want to find the bay leafs. Can you help
me?" Mint said rather slowly. Keyi looked at Mint's basket then remarkably said something
highly intelligent! "Yes, I know where the Bay leafs are; they're in my
pocket! Do you want them?" Mint shook her head
vigorously. (These two can't communicate well.) "Yes, I'm running out of
time, I need to get it now!" "I'll let you have my leafs only if you can master me
at vocabulary." Mint cushioned her head in her hands for a very short
moment, of course Mint would give
herself up for a simple(Yeah right) vocabulary war! Keyi spat out a few words for Mint to define.
"Insurrection!" "Insurrection
is a noun. An open revolt against an established government." "Wow! impressive" Keyi gazed in amazement "I
didn't know what that meant. Ok how about,
Tranquil?" Mint thought about that one; she snapped back with the
correct answer. "Tranquil. An adjective. Means very calm and
quiet." "Albumen?" "Albumen. A Noun. Means the white part of an egg." Keyi just couldn't take it anymore. Without words, Keyi gave
her the bay leafs Mint has been asking for. "What a paradoxical mind you have!" Mint said
quite cheerfully. All of sudden Keyi turned back to her unstable self. "Shut up!" *** Now Mint walks out with even shorter, very shorter pawn: 2 Powder Flowers 5 Bay Leafs 2 Sugar Canes 5 Cinnamon Sticks 1 honeydew Plant And A Pumpkin! The pig-tailed red head was quite exhausted from visiting
Stressful Bell, Willing-to-kill-himself Koryouku and Crazy husband
killer-split-personality-Keyi. Mint glanced at her watch every second; it was almost noon
and she hasn't got a Honeydew plant,
Cinnamon Sticks or a flipping pumpkin! She jogged down the dusty path in search for 5 small
Cinnamon Sticks and 1 honeydew. "Why do I have to do this?" She thought in her
head. "I wish I never slapped that pumpkin pie out of Hitmoi's hand's, but yuck! Who wouldn't want
to slap that bland pumpkin pie." She found an empty area behind bushes, there were very close
to the gate where Mint came from. Mint studied the empty area, then low-and-behold! Three
Cinnamon Sticks just lying there. (If it belonged to someone….heheheheh you can
guess) "Aw sweet,
maybe good things come to those who are senile!" Mint had a grin from ear
to ear. As she was to pick up the cinnamon sticks (VERY SLOWLY) a short (2'11
Short)dark figure jumped out of the
bush and landed on her face.(Bad timing, Mint) "AAAAAAAAAH! Rabid creature trying out lippalsuction on
me!" Mint screamed with agony. The creature that was more afraid of her also responds.
"Me on lipalsuction out trying creature rabid." Finally Mint got the furry creature out of he/she/it's
grasp. "Who are you and what do you want?" She asked
forcefully. "?Want you do what and who you are" Obviously this
conversation was going no where fast. Mint thought of something quick to get
this backwards freak to understand what she wants. "I-WANT-YOUR-CINNAMON-STICKS-NOW!!!!" She
bellowed. "Now sticks cinnamon you want?" The black creature
seems to speaking an entire language that's sounds exactly like English
backwards. Mint caught on to
he/she/it's lingo. Mint smiled from ear to ear which gave her an earache.
"Sticks cinnamon your me give?" The black fuffypuff creature understood very well.
"Nutty is name my!" Out of strength he struggled to give the cinnamon sticks to
Mint. (The cinnamon sticks were bigger than him/her/it) "Maybe I should take them myself." Mint suggested.
"Thank you!" "You thank." *** As Mint was on her way out of forest, she heard someone
giggling like a schoolgirl. Except the voice sounded like a gay man. Mint (The
idiot that she is) turned right around to look for the source of the voice. "Hello? Is anybody there?" She asked. Every step Mint took, the giggle got louder. Mint heard infantile laughter. "Mm, pretty
Honeydew!" That one phrase triggered Mint mind, like a monkey being
shot out of a canon. She then turned around approximately 150 degrees to the
left, and her eye level at 5 inches x 5.6 feet off…the, aw who am I kidding?
(Ok let's keep it simple) Simple, understanding version: 'Mint turned around
and saw the a strange man hugging a Honeydew plant' (Wonder what he does at
night) "Um, excuse me!" Mint said very quickly. " I
need a Honeydew plant, right now, before noon, or its baby go bye bye for
me!" The brown hared hugely, buggy man. (Also know as the
Honeydew hugger of physical bliss man) looked into Mint's eye's, then.
"WHAT-DO-YOU-WANT-FROM-ME?" He said utterly loud and clear. Mint took a big deep breath; begun once again "Sigh, I
want your honeydew-" Before Mint could finish, The Honey-dewer man
interrupted " No, I love my Honeydew, her name is 'Morning glory' and I'm
her lucky man, Guido." (So now another,
crazy-maniac added to the list: Stressful Bell, Willing-to-kill-himself
Koryouku, Crazy husband killer-split-personality-Keyi,
Inexperience-lipalsuction, backwards freak Nutty The name says it all and
Honeydew hugger of physical bliss Guido) Mint looked at this sick man enjoying his time with a fruit,
it reminded her about Zidane's parents, his mother was a monkey and his father
was really desperate for…yeah you know, that thing. Guido sang softly to his Honeydew. " Oh, my lovely
Honeydew! Lovely honeydew" The red head pigtail girl looked puzzled. "Is there
anyway you'll ever give that honeydew?" She asked quite hopefully. "
I need it now!" Guido thought for a moment. "Well, I'm certainly not
going to give up on my Morning glory, but if you find a melon more smoother,
prettier and much better * Which is not likely* than Morning glory, I may let
you have her, but please don't hurt her if you get a chance to own her." "Ok I'll do it, but I do seem to recall that I have at
least than 30 minutes to get all this stuff." Mint once again glance at
her watch. Guido slowly settled his Honeydew 'Morning glory' in an old
cradle that just mysteriously appeared out of thin air. Mint reviewed her list once again, just two more items left! 2 Powder Flowers 5 Bay Leafs 2 Sugar Canes 5 Cinnamon Sticks 1 honeydew Plant And A Pumpkin! "Ok, all I gotta go is trade something that is better
than 'Morning glory'?" Guido snapped his fingers. " Natch." "Alright then, that'll be easy, I'll be on my
way." Mint skipped along the opposite way where the entrance gate was, as
Guido watched her. *** "I wish I never did this." Was all that Mint was
thinking when she got into the deeper part of the forest. She didn't really
like Hitomi; she would rather play Ping-Pong with the backward freak on a
mountain, upside down in their underwear. (Of course that won't ever happen,
hopefully) After 2 minutes of back breaking, searching, fun, Mint found
a Cantaloupe patch behind a shady old shack. It looked deserted, so Mint walked
right on. There stands before her were 3 cantaloupe's that just didn't
look right, actually all 3 of them looked like the primenister's of Canada. Mint awed at the perfect details on Pierre Elliot Trudue's
nose. "This is the most perfect cantaloupe, I've ever seen, Guido has got
to take this one." She thought. She Carefully cut the vines off one of the Cantaloupe heads'. She dragged herself out of the shady part of forest,
traveling back to Guido's Honeydew love nest. "Hey, Guido!" She shouted from afar. "I got
you at great melon!" Guido walked a bit till they meet face to face, while was
cuddling with his honeydew. (Now that is WACKED) "Let me see this so called melon!" He started. He
peered into the odd melon. "YUCK, Get that peace-o-junk out of my
face!" "Well I thought it was really cool, even better than
stupid Morning glory!" Mint said quite rudely. Guido had deep feelings for his honeydew, the only right
thing to do is protect it. "Stop making fun of my honey!" He cried. "Get
me a GOOD looking melon with smooth skin." Mint cringed at him. "Fine, I'll get another one and
you'll have to like it." Mint dropped the cantaloupe on the dusty terrain. She
stormed off in a flash, without a word. "That good for nothing Guido!" Mint grumbled while
walking on. "He's such a picky worry wart!" Mint returned back with a big block of wax that looked like
Honeydew. This time, things were taking change, just like this wax honeydew. With Guido still swinging it affectionately on a swing set
from nowhere. Mint jogged back to the same place, to brag about the
Honeydew (That wasn't really a Honeydew) that she found. "Alright, I got a
Honeydew that's 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 + 2000 times better than
yours." Guido poked his nose in the air. "And that
equals?" "Well, I don't know!" Mint shrugged. "My
calculator doesn't have that many zero's." Guido out stretched
his one arm toward the (FAKE) Honeydew. "Give me that Honeydew!" Mint did so. (Hey what else can I say?) Mint stood there with a smile from ear to ear, she was
acting like she could pull thing off. (Or can't she?) Guido scratched it, sniffed it and even well...kissed it.
(Eww!) "Well, well, mint." He started. "You've got
yourself a nice melon, but it needs to pass the fire test!" Mint's Grin soon turned into a wrinkly old, stretched out
prune all the way to the ground. (In other words, she was frowning to the ground) "Uh, a-a-a fire test?" Mint asked quite nervously. Guido took out a bottle of vital toxin gasoline and a small
lighter with pictures of nude Honeydews (- A small lighter with pictures of a
fruit cups) "Stand back! I'm going to start." Guido started
pouring on the first bottle of gasoline and then another...and...um....and
another one and the last one. <i>I think that was 14 bottles now!<i/> Guido carefully pulled out his lighter then. <b>CLICK</b> One click for the Melon
<b>CLICK</b> two
clicks for the Booze
<b>CLICK</b> three
clicks to get ready and...
<b>CLICK</b> four clicks to lose The lighter was finally ablaze, held it close to the (Wax)
Honeydew, then.. "STOP!" Mint Howled, finally Mint's subcontionus
got a hold of her. "It's a wax
fruit!" She yelled out. "I was cheating, Guido." "Ah, you good for nothing, red head!" He insulted
"Get me a real, smooth, big and firm, Honeydew!" "Alright." Mint turned her back to him and
pretended to walk away, slowly. Guido forgot about the lighter in his hand and dropped it on
the waxed Honeydew melon. It made a huge explosion (Depends on what HUGE really
means) and he died. Mint jumped back with such a huge smile on her face. This
was to good to be true; the Honeydew was still on the swing, untouched. Mint giggle with glee. "Sweet!" *** All over town were getting ready for the big feast, as
Hitomi paced around the fountain with Rue (The Spongy loner and cat repellant)
and Elena. (The idiot by nature) "Where is that Mint?" Hitomi grumbled "Its 3 minutes to noon and she isn't
here!" (Now to get things moving out) Elena watched Hitomi pace
around the fountain; Elena got dizzy and passed out COLD on the ground. Hitomi stopped and looked at the old wooden gate, still no
Mint "Aren't you worried about Mint, Rue?" She
asked--still in a mood tone. "Likewise…" He said quietly. "Rue!" Hitomi stared "I've got an idea!"
She whispered something in his ear. Rue heard incorrectly. "But Hitomi, why would Shiva
want to eat Potato chips?" Hitomi was absolutely lost. "No! This is what I
said." She repeated her whisper abnormally loud and clear. "I've got
a plain B set up for this festival, and its going my WAY." "Yeah, right!" Rue doubted "I don't know
Hitomi, lets hope your going to make this 'Plain B' mumbo jumbo thing
work." *** Mint came back to the colourful town with: 2 Powder Flowers 5 Bay Leafs 2 Sugar Canes 5 Cinnamon Stick 1 honeydew Plant And A Pumpkin! All Mint had to get was one, big, fat, (Jiggley fruit!
Joke!) Pumpkin. She was still a little 'uneasy' about the pumpkin. Mint
scoured around for Hitomi, but no such luck was found yet. Well, Mint found the pumpkin pie that she ruined. (That is
rotting with sweet solitude with a hint of black flies.) Mint saw a long white cloth covered table by the steps
leading to the docking bay; right then and there she saw Hitomi and some
villagers, serving ...apple pie? (Nooo it's a snake! Of course it's a pie) "Hey, Hitomi!" She stared as she walked over to
the scene. "I got your items. All you need is pumpkin." "Well, look who's crawling back!" Hitomi said
under her breath "Oh Hi, Mint. Do you want to try my apple pie?" Mint wasn't catching on easy. "Wh-wh-what? You've got
to be kidding, I just got your stuff right here!" "Ha!, I actually have my prize winning Apple Pie, it
won 10 times in a row; my pumpkin pie won 5 times in a row." Hitomi
presented Mint to her Apple pie. "Actually I didn't need any of those
items you just got, I was playing with your mind, Cool huh?" Mint's face turned bloodshot red with envy. "You
tricked me?" "Yes, I did it because I was fed up with your cocky
attitude." Mint was not every inch happy with this. "So you're saying, you used me to get you stuff with no
use?" "Actually, I didn't know any of the items exist!"
Hitomi started, "I
didn't expect to you to come back with a whole load of junk." Mint couldn't take anymore of her qurkiness any more! So all
of a sudden, she grabbed a disturbingly large baseball bat and chased Hitomi
all around town. "I CAN'T WAIT TO JELLY-FY YOU HITOMI!" Mint bellowed. But Mint failing to do so, she instead chuckled and ran
after her on all fours. Rue and Elena decided to sit down, grab some pie, popcorn
and watch Mint act like a mofo untill the sun had setted! <b><i>The end</i> (Thank god!)</b> They'll be more of these coming soon! A 100% chance of this fanfic (NOT) becoming a movie. |
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