Endless

[11.07.00] » by Astarte

Ellone walked through the huge expanse of flowers, her eyes closed. Every step that she took brought the perfumed fragrance of spring flowers with it. Every step that she took was another delay in the decision that she had to make. She had been here so many times before, trying to decide what to do.

She had a choice to make, an important one. She wasn't really old enough to make the kind of decisions that she was being forced to but fate wasn't known for its kindness. Here she was, only ten years old, and the weight of fate was pressing down on her. She had a choice to make and it would affect the destiny of the one she loved most.

Every time she'd come to this point in time, she had made a mistake. Her choice had inevitably ended up destroying the lives of everyone she cared about. Squall always died. Ultemicia always won. Ellone always made the wrong choice at the wrong time.

Ellone let herself fall into the flowers and watched as tiny insects rose up in protesting clouds. The last time around had been particularly bad and Ellone had the immense misfortune of remembering it vividly. She always remembered her past mistakes just before she had to make her choice.

The last time she'd made disastrous mistakes. She had accidentally led Esthar soldiers right to where a very pregnant Raine was hiding. Ellone still could not wipe the vision from her eyes of seeing Raine shot in the chest and left to die. Managing to escape her captors, she had returned to Winhill to discover that the doctor had been able to save the baby but not her. The mayor had wisely sent her and her newborn 'brother' to a distant orphanage. This horrific mistake had set the stage for what had followed.

It had happened in this very field, two days from now. Squall had been five years old. Ellone had felt so guilty about her role in Raine's death that she'd simply not been able to leave the orphanage and its comforting isolation. Nightmarish visions of Raine's death had haunted her dreams every night and she had become a nervous wreck, seeing Esthar soldiers in every shadow. That was why, when a troop of Esthar soldiers landed, all that she'd been able to do was hide, simply too terrified to think of anything else.

Too terrified to protect Squall from the soldiers who grabbed the little boy and dragged him away. Too terrified to say anything to the soldiers who promised to let him go if she would come out of hiding. Too terrified to move long after they left. By the time she'd regained her courage, the ship, and her baby brother, were gone.

The next time she'd seen him had been years later, when he was in his late teens. Adel had vanished soon after Squall's kidnapping and a new sorceress had taken the throne in her place. The mysterious silver haired queen had raised Squall and he had grown up to become a vicious and cruel man. Known as the Black Viper, he had been her loyal servant and her most trusted enforcer. When the Queen of Esthar decided to search for Ellone, she had sent him. With Esthar's armies at his back, Squall had swept through nation after nation, leaving nothing but bodies in his wake as he searched for his former sister.

By that time, Ellone had been forced to build an army of her own with the Kramers to help her. Eventually, her forces were able to corner and kill Squall and make their way to their ultimate goal: Ultemicia. Ellone did not know the details of their battle, she only knew that Ultemicia won. She suspected that the woman had been thrown back to become Adel's mysterious successor. Every time Ultemicia won, time replayed itself. Only Squall could kill her and Squall always died, leaving Ultemicia undefeatable.

So here Ellone was, again, trying to figure out what it was that she was supposed to do. Ellone could remember what all the consequences had been, and all her choices. It was a great deal for a kid to cope with, knowing that literally everything hinged on her choices. She also knew that once she made the choice, she would know if it was the right one. It was a horrible feeling, knowing that you've condemned your brother to death for the thousandth time.

In all the thousands of cycles, Squall had never once lived long enough to see his eighteenth birthday. She had seen him shot, have his throat slit, burned alive, drowned, stabbed, poisoned, dismembered, strangled and worse. She remembered seeing the lovely little boy passed around from soldier to soldier until he eventually died of their abuse. Ellone wanted nothing more than to save him. Beautiful, dear Squall deserved better than he was getting. Her only consolation was that he did not know that he was dying over and over again.

Ellone closed her eyes tightly. What was it that she needed to do? What was it that she had never done? Whatever it was, that had to be the solution, didn't it? She had tried so many different things but none of them had worked. What could it be? She laughed harshly, bitter tears streaming down her cheek.

"Maybe I should just leave. Go away and leave them all behind," she muttered in pained frustration. Of course, she couldn't do that. She could never leave Squall behind. That would be the absolute worst thing that she could do.

Ellone abruptly sat up. That was something that she'd never done. In all the endless repetitions of time, she had never left them behind, never willingly just walked out on her little brother and her life. Could it work? She wondered, dragging her fingers through her hair. It had become damp with the sweat of her frustrated fear. She bit her lip so hard that she could taste the salty metallic tang of her own blood.

"If I'm not at the orphanage, if nobody knows where I am... If there is nobody in the entire world who knows how to find me then maybe...". That had to be it, it just had to. Ellone got up. That was what she would do. She would pack a few things and sneak away, hide where no-one would find her.

She half ran to the orphanage, desperate to take action. She wasn't sure how much she had to do in order for her choice to become concrete reality. Ellone wasn't going to wait, she wanted to know her brother's fate. She would just grab a few things and...

A momentary dizziness hit her, making her slow down momentarily. Looking up she saw Matron standing in the courtyard. She looked ill. In the distance she saw her baby brother run off, likely looking for her. It was the tall man standing with Matron that caught her attention. It was Squall, not the child she knew now, but the grown man she remembered from all her times before. Instinct made her hide behind a wall so she could get a better look at this intruder. This Squall had a serious face but gentle eyes. A long diagonal scar ran between them making Ellone whimper in sympathy. This Squall had endured battle.

Matron and adult Squall spoke together softly for a moment then he gave her a strange salute and disappeared. Ellone walked up to Matron and looked into her eyes. Something was different but for a brief second she didn't know what it was. Knowledge struck her. Matron Edea had inherited the power of another sorceress, a power that she recognized.

"Matron," she said with a calm smile on her face. "Its not safe any more. I have to go. Now. Where I can't be found."

She knew that she should be sad but she wasn't. Edea had inherited the power of a dying Ultemicia. Squall would live. Her lovely dear brother would finally fulfil his destiny. She had, at long last, made the right choice.

Her memory faded as reality was wrenched back into the time stream. The endless cycle was endless no more.

Fin.