Predestiny

[05.26.00] » by Nightsong

We thought we wrote our own life stories

We thought we had free will

But if that was true

Then why were my actions manipulated?

What "entity" opened those gates?

How did the chain of events occur?

Why was I brought to fight Lavos?

It was beyond all chance that I should fight a destroyer

At least beyond all chance

When this being was not even in our timeline

That we fought him in the future

That we fought him in the past

And what of the lives we altered?

Why did we not see the paradox?

The many lives we ended.

Why didn't we change the future?

Were our actions predetermined?

I'm beginning to think so.

But who decided to control us?

Was it even a "who", or simply the course of things?

Perhaps all lives are this way.

But if they're not,

Then why was I singled out?

Why were my friends and I chosen?

I might have wanted to live my own life!

I don't regret my actions

And, if given a choice, would likely repeat them.

But even so, I wanted to live my own life, not have it lived for me.

I might have wanted to live a simple life

I might have wished to live in blissful ignorance of suffering and death

For I was truly still a child when the gates were opened.

Who made me grow up so fast?

What gave them the right?

Why am I a hero?

Why am I even here?

And now, that Lavos has fallen, is my purpose now complete?

Or is my life still predetermined?

Am I still to serve this force?

Or am I now free to do as I wish?

Will I even know the difference?

Will I even know?

….It's a bit different from my other works, I'm very well aware, but I've been experimenting with the first person.  Do e-mail me with any comments you might have.  I don't receive that much reader mail.