[05.13.00] » by Phil R-A

-The ascention-

I stand once again on the road to the heavens.

It feels like an eternity since I've made my descent.

I can feel the light against my skin, like a cold breeze from the sky.

I arrive at the doors of the first heaven.

Nobody needs to open them for me, for I KNOW.

-The transformation-

My pair of wings become two. I am in the likeness of those around me, but

memories remain.

No. I must reach the higher dimension. I know it is for the better... it is

what must be!

I fly higher, my wings flapping against the darknest, the light falling unto

my face like the rain.

Another door... I must go higher! Open up! Now!

Two more wings. I feel so different, but this feeling... It feels like a

long lost memory.

More and more light. My soul is flying through the ocean of the heaven, the

one and only.

I can feel the watery light against my wings, my soul.

-The memories-

My soul... the memories remain...

I have knowledge, wisdom... I KNOW! But I remember...

My wings... they feel tired. Something is stretching my wings! The pain...

why do I feel pain?

I do know... I remember. But why? Wisdom does not bring pain! The memories


I don't want those memories! The more I remember, the more it hurts! Stop

pulling my wings!

I am so close! I can drink from the source itself! Yes! Rise higher! Forget

everything that should not be!

Memories are the blood stains of the lower dimensions! They should have

never been!

I have to forget! Focuss on the source! Focuss on what IS!

The light is pourring over my face, like a spilled vase. It feels so

refreshing, It feels so good... But it feels so different...

I still remember... The pains I have caused... But I do not care... why?

Answer me! What am I supposed to do?

-The purification of the soul-

A drop of light reach my lipps... the taste of memories... I can see through

God's eyes! I see the truth!

I remember her scent... I remember her smile... I remember her eyes... I

remember her touch... I remember her soul!


God! Tear my wings appart! Slay me and cast me down to the lowest and

darkest heaven!

-The fall of the soul-

My pairs of wings are tearred appart one after the other.

As the light escape its shell, my soul descend through the heavens.

Two pairs of wings, but no regrets.

More pain, less light, one pair of wings, no regrets.

Even more torture, more pain, no more wings, no regrets.

The soul remains, the memories remains, the thoughts remains.

A blade of light strikes my soul. The descent is now faster than my thoughs.

Darknest... Light...


-The true ascention-

Young Boy: Mother!

Elhaym: Yes dear?

Young Boy: Nothing... I'm just... happy!

-The End-

My comments: Some of you might have read my editorial about the gnostic

influence in Xenogears. I decided to write a fan-fic about what Krelian goes

through after the ending. What he has to go through before reuniting with

God and be in the likeness of God (no more distinction between him and God).

But we saw that Krelian couldn't forget about the one he loved. He couldn't

leave things the way they were. He descended through the heavens a long time

ago like everyone else, but instead of living his life, he ignored it and

tried to ascend. Right before reuniting with God, a drop of light fell unto

his lipps, and he saw his own life through God's eyes. This way he was able

to look at himself with no anger, only truth, and he realized what he could

do. He asked God to send him back on Earth even if it would be very

painfull, so that he could become a true man among men, one who try to save

humanity. By doing so he also ended up with the one he trully wanted to be,

the way he trully wanted to be. In the end he become humanity's savior, even

if he made a lot of people suffer. By that, I mean that anyone can be

forgiven no matter what, it's all a matter of being true to yourself and

other. I hope you understand how Krelian felt (well, in this story at least)

instead of thinking it sounds "freaky". Thank you:)

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