Knockin' On Heaven's Door

[05.05.00] » by Kefka Floyd

A small note, if you haven't gotten to the last part of the second disc of Xenogears (before you fight Deus for the last time) this story might contain some spoilers. You've been warned. Now on with the story!



"This girl holds the dreams of the future, Elly."

"The future..."

"She is our daughter. She can think... feel... on her own. She is the angel that will free mankind from its own undoing."

"Kim..." The two of them huddled around the nanoassembler. Inside was the... to say the least, brainchild of a hypocritical scientist trying to save a species that he despises.

"This. Is the future of mankind."



Emeralda sat on her bed. Remembering what Kim said.

Thinking. Feeling.

Am I alive? I think, therefore I am?

What a load! No, that was not life. Life is... a spirit. A soul.

Do I have a soul?

There was only one person she knew of who could answer that question. He was down the corridor.

Emeralda walked briskly to Billy's chambers. She pressed the enter button.

"Come in." Emeralda quietly entered Billy's room. He was on his bed, strumming a few chords on his guitar. "Oh, hi Emmy! What's up?" Emeralda shuffled her feet a bit.

"Billy, does Emeralda have soul?" Billy dropped his guitar on the ground with a resounding charang. He did not expect this.

"My Fender!" Billy leaped to the aid of his guitar. No apparent damage, but that can wait till later.

I am a priest... But certainly no judge of a person's soul...

"Well... Emeralda... umm... why are you asking me?"

"Billy... father! Father!" It didn't take long for Billy to put two and two together.

Father... Well, now this is easier...

"Emeralda, there are some people who say you are not born with a soul; that you have to earn it. I don't really believe in that... But how do you know if you have a soul if you haven't done any soul searching?" Billy grimaced at the odd choice of words, but it still fit.

"Emeralda... search!" Emeralda ran out of Billy's chambers.

I wonder if I said something wrong... Billy thought as he returned to inspecting his guitar.



Emeralda strode towards Crescens. The magnificent gear shone in the fluorescent lighting of the Yggdrasil's hangar.

It is a work of art... Just like me... or so he said...

Yes, that day seemed so far away, but it felt like yesterday.

"This... is yours."

"...Mine?" The concept of "mine" was new. How could this man, of all people, give her a gift? "Why Krelian give me gift?" Krelian smirked.

"You are the perfect being. You have no faults. So you should have a machine that compliments you. No faults at all, Crescens will obey your every command." Krelian took Emeralda's hand. "But before you can use it we must have a little... training session." He led her to a small machine. "Please put your finger in here."


"Don't ask questions." Emeralda placed her index finger in the small hole. A sixty cycle hum cued up. Emeralda felt shivers and jolts throughout her body.

"Stop..." She managed to utter a single word before her eyes fixated.

"Now, how do you feel?" Krelian smirked, knowing the answer before she would say it.

"Emeralda... destroy..."

Emeralda shuddered at the thoughts of the past. But that was the past, this is now. Crescen's wing-hand lifted her into the cockpit.

"Go, Crescens..." Crescens flew out of the gear hangar. Where to go... Yes, that was it! There... that was the place.



"What? She's gone?" Fei had a flabbergasted look plastered on his face. He dismissed the captain of the gear hangar who brought the news.

"Well, why would she leave? Does Emeralda have anywhere to go?" Citan raised an interesting question. No one had an answer. Except one person.

"Umm, Citan..."

"Yes Billy?" Billy fidgeted for a second before speaking.

"Emeralda asked me if she had a soul... I kind of said she should do some soul searching." Everyone glared at Billy. "Well, what did you expect me to say? That she doesn't have a soul?" Billy suddenly realized what he said. Citan butted in before anyone could retort.

"Well, we shouldn't stand here. We should find her. Billy and I will go as one team. Fei, Bart, and Maria will be another. Everyone else stay here and help the crew of the Yggdrasil to locate her." Everyone nodded in agreement.



"This is where the signatures of Crescen's engine residue point to." Billy and Citan stood outside of a giant lighthouse. "I recognize this. The base is thousands of years old. It was sealed up before.

"Emeralda must have opened it," Billy remarked. "Maybe it's some kind of ruin?" Citan didn't answer. Inside the opening was an elevator. Once the elevator touched ground again, Citan gazed out.

"This is..." Citan was at a loss for words. Surrounding them was a ruin of an ancient Zeboim city.

"Spooky..." Billy quipped. The two gears walked through the streets. Some of the buildings still had power. Cars were strewn on the street.

"It looks like this building can be entered. Let's take a look." Citan and Billy jumped out of the gears and entered the building. It looked like a store of some sort. Papers were strewn about. Citan picked one up. "The Eldridge contained..." With each passing word, Citan's eyes grew bigger. "This cannot be! All of this... This information! Just laying here!" Citan found more reports strewn about, each more shocking than the previous.

"Citan... we still have to find Emeralda," Billy reminded. Citan gathered up all the papers he could and stowed them in the cargo compartment of Fenrir. The duo made their way through the thick of the city. "Look!" In an abandoned lot stood Crescens. "But where's Emmy?"

"She must have went in there," observed Citan. He jumped out and found a manhole cover. Billy followed. Inside the manhole was a subway system. It apparently got destroyed somehow. The pair ran through the tracks and found a station. A stairway led up. The stairway led to a destroyed city square.

"Look, there's Emeralda!" Billy ran towards Emeralda. "Emmy!" Emeralda looked up.

"Billy! Emeralda found soul!" She handed Billy a piece of paper.

"I... I can't read it... Citan, read this." Citan took the paper.

"All right... 'My daughter, you are blessed. If you have found this, you have finally found... your soul. You helped mankind to rebuild. This is the reward your soul has earned you." Citan finished reading. "Emeralda, where did you find this?"

"At house! Kim live there!" Emeralda pointed up. Apparently Fei's earlier self lived in the building she pointed at.

"But what is the reward?" Citan puzzled. He started thinking.

"Emeralda! Your body!" Billy interjected before Citan could finish. Citan looked over at Emeralda. Her clothes started to dissipate, and her body started to dematerialize into a cloud.

"The nanomachines are doing what happens when this message is read... It's a trigger!" Both of them watched silently as the nanomachines rearranged themselves. A foot appeared. Another one appeared. Legs built up, joining at a pelvis. From the hips a torso started to build.

"I see what is happening here... Yes, Emeralda is..." Citan was starting to figure out what was happening. A pair of arms built from the newly formed shoulders. A neck and head formed quickly. A bushel of green hair sprouted from the head. " adult now." The remaining nanomachine cloud swirled around and created her clothing and boots.

"I... am... an adult!" A smile grew on her face, which was no longer hidden by her scarf. Billy walked over to Emeralda.

"Emmy, I can answer your question now." Emeralda shook her head.

"No... I answered it myself. Perhaps that's what Kim wanted me to do. Find myself... and that's what I did." Citan looked at her in a different way for a second.

"Yes, perhaps."

I can express myself fully now... Save the best for last... Is that what Kim had in mind?

"Let us return. The others will want to know about this, don't you think?" Citan quipped. Emeralda nodded.

A new body... Is this the real reward for finally understanding myself?

The trio returned to the Yggdrasil. Everyone was surprised by Emeralda's new body, to say the least. Emeralda returned to her room.

This note... completes me... she thought as she tucked it in her pocket. She found her soul. She knew it.



Author's Notes

Heh... It took me a bit to write this story... mainly because I really couldn't figure out how to execute the idea. I've always liked Emmy. She reminds me a lot of Rydia from FF4 (gee, who could have guessed?), who is also my fave chara from that game. I like the more introspective look at Emmy, which was pretty much what this was about. If you would like to post this on your page, please ask me first! I will most definitely say yes. Have a good one!

Kefka Floyd

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