Confined Memories

[05.05.00] » by Jeremy S. Garrett

What happened?

Grahf's grunting moans could be heard from faraway lands, perhaps even under the sea. The pang of curiousness hit him hard. He had experienced some "amnesia" for some unexplainable reason. Of course, he had a good idea what had happened. He just needed to find it, inside him. Inside his memories.

It was a short, shallow time, that he knew. It hadn't lasted very long, but, it still seemed an eternity. How hurt his mind was. His mind, in so much pain. Grahf would surely break his mind. He was digging, and digging, so hard, that he could actually feel the metallic shovel against his brain, his head. He could almost see the flesh wounds, being done to him - only not to him, but his mind.

He knew it wouldn't help, but stubborn he could be sometimes, and stubborn he could be right now. He hated the fact that he had lost some time, some precious time. Because, time was of essence. He had many other plans for the people revolving around himself. Nervertheless, he had to do something about this state of "amnesia" he had. He just had to.

He could almost hear it call to him. He could remember it saying he had lost.

Lost what?

He didn't quite understand yet, but he did know that he would understand, and hopefully now. Of course, there was no hope in himself. He had lost hope a long time ago. After she went away, to a "good" place. Whrever that could be. Because, everything is bad, it all evolves around something. This something, for him, was power. And, he wouldn't lose anything. Nothing.

Lost what, doesn't matter. It's the fact that you actually lost. It's hard to know that you can still lose with all of your power.

He could hear its strange voice. As if an entity inside himself. Of course, there was, in an eccentric way. It speaks, when it's not real. Or is it? Grahf suspired a lonely breath, that no one should hear. No one should understand. He was powerless. This "entity" was correct. He had lost, and it was a huge battle, and war. To him, it was. To him, Grahf, someone to use the power, had lost.

I have lost... For now.

He admitted it, he had to. He knew it was the only way to go on with his plans. Still... He must find out what this case of "amnesia" was for. He knew it wasn't amnesia, but something else. Something like lost time, lost memory. Something, but not a disease, they couldn't exist within himself. For, he was a disease...

Releasing his hands from his "head," or his helment, that confines all this. His true face, his physical traits of true beauty, and even his emotions, on the outside. He hides his thoughts, his dreams, his memories, and even himself. How he hates this helment, and armor he wears. Sure, it makes him look mysterious, and avengeful. He was tired of living like this for such a long time.

Somehow, he lives with this life. Someone, that only he knows, and perhaps another man, or two. They know, but he is the onlyone that can feel this knowledge. Knowledge of himself. He feels it, and it burns. Like rubbing cold ice on the surface of your palm. It's cold, and it's taken as being good, almost holy, yet it burns. This is how he feels, only on a larger scale. Only on a larger one...

It's time, once again. It's time.

He must go on, as he has plans. Yes, lovely plans. Good or bad, they hold future. They hold a prominent promise. Unlike the faith everyone pushed everyone to know. To believe in. He once believed, and trusted this "God." How foolish he had been. How foolish anyone had been.

This "God" would never love, or cherish his life, that he supposedly created. Sophia, she. She was the only one, that could ever be the everlasting faith in everyone. She held so much of it, so much love. Grahf had once felt this love, and held this lovely faith. How memorial it was, to remember these feelings.

I owe it all to you... All to you, Mother Sophia.

His face wrapped itself into tormented anger, and grief. Of course, he only "saw" this, and felt it. Because, he was hidden by a mask, a helment. He was confined in himself. He felt something cold, salty on his flesh. His nerves when cold, and shot. Just for a few seconds, a few lovely momments. Pain! This was pain, and how much he welcomed it. This pain, from his emotions, from a single tear.

Tear? How long has it been... ?

He wanted to feel another splatter of a tear on his flesh. But, as he waited, silently, all he heard was the wind. The whispering of the wind. It's words, not understood, but hea rd. Perhaps one day he shall understand. Perhaps, one day.

As he walked away, from the small forest. He knew the time had come. The clinking of his armor could be heard, but not by his ears. He had learned to love the sound of his lovely armor. How much it had grown on him, attached to him. Like one, him and his armor. It's presence, not know as armor, but as skin.

He reached the end of the forest, besiding next to Lehan. Yes, the time was almost near. It was almost sundown, and Elhaym would be arriving with the gear. Our lovely Elhaym. Yes, our lovely, holy, Elhaym. How you haven't changed, not since the beginning of time. Yes...

He stopped himself, from thinking on Elhaym. He had more things to think about. Of course, he would see Elhaym soon, and he looked forward to this. How much closer he was to Lehan now. It was almost time, that he feel the power of Id. The lovely power, that will bring him total domination. This power, like a pang of hunger, and how much he wanted to feed on it.

The time was near. He walked off, slowly. His gear was near to the town. He wanted to walk, insted of using any sort of power to fly, or anything of the sort. Besides, he still had that "amnesia" memory lost, and Elhaym. He wanted to think, and remember many momments. He wanted to remember.