From Riovanes With Peanut Butter
[04.02.00] » by MiniMog
"I wonder why Riovanes is the only place in the world that sells peanut butter." Said Jeremy (A knight) with his friends Lloyd (An archer), Max (A summoner), Jenny (A monk), Ben (A geomancer), Duke (A lancer), and Lloyd’s black chocobo, Jiff. They were getting peanut butter after a behemoth in the Deep Dungeon ate the last of it and their peanut butter sandwiches (He swiped their pic-a-nic basket).
"I dunno. Maybe it’s because whoever started the peanut business wanted to stay as far away from Warjilis as possible" Answered Lloyd.
"It’s logic, really." Added Jeremy.
"Shut up. Either way, we have to get some peanut butter in Riovanes. Where are we now?" Said Lloyd.
"We’re almost at Dorter." Said Jenny.
"Really? Well, that was fast." Said Lloyd "I thought we were till in Lionel."
"Nope. Actually, we’ve just entered Dorter" Said Jenny, pointing out a sign that said ‘Welcome to Dorter". Suddenly a man ran up them.
"Do you have any yarn?" He asked in his English accent. "I like yarn. I have a yarn collection. I’ve got yarn from Goug, and Limberry, and Igros, and just about everywhere else. I was wondering… Do you have any yarn from Riovanes? That’s some mighty good stuff! It’s the only yarn I don’t have."
"Sorry, we don’t have any yarn, but we are going to Riovanes." Said Max.
"Oh, really!? I’ll give you something if you and get me some yarn. I’ll just sit on this rock until you come. I’ll be fine here because my house is right over there." He said, pointing to a shack.
"OK, then. What if you leave here to go far away, and we don’t find you here?" Questioned Lloyd.
"I’ll be here. I promise." The group left, in the direction of Goland Coal City, and Jenny kept looking back to see if he was still there.
"I’ll be here. I promise. I’m not sure from where, but that sounds familiar." She said aloud as she skipped a rock in a fountain (* * * * * * The rock skipped many, many, times), and looked at Jeremy’s ring with a lion on it, and Lloyd’s black cowboy hat. "I just can’t remember…"
"Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it is not that important. I think we should just get going." Said Max. The group went through Zeklaus Desert, no problem, as well as Goland and Lesalia. At Grog Hill however…
"Oh my God!" Yelled Jeremy.
"What?" Said Ben.
"Nothing." He answered. Nothing happened at Grog Hill. But when they reached Yardow… still nothing. Same with Yuguo.
"Wow. I wonder why nothing’s happened. Oh well." Said Duke. Nothing. Nothing ever happened until they reached the place they were headed for. It was like part of the law of physics or the gravitational pull of the sun and the moon.
"Maybe it has to do with the law of physics or the gravitational pull of the sun and the moon." Blurted out Jeremy.
"That’s retarded. Didn’t you just listen to what the narrator said after my speaking part?" Said Duke.
"What?" Asked everyone else.
"Uhhhh…duhhh…ummm…look! A monster! We must kill it for goods and services!" He responded. It was true. There was a monster, but it was just a goblin, so Duke just poked it with his spear, and it died. "HOORAY!" The lancer started to dance, but then Lloyd punched him.
"Shut up and let’s go." He said. They spent the night there and went to Riovanes. At Riovanes, they went to the peanut butter depository.
"Hey, Lloyd (If you haven’t noticed already, Lloyd’s the leader), can we get this jumbo jar of peanut butter?" Asked Jeremy, who was holding a peanut butter jar the size of man, and shaped like one too. "I think it’s cool, and when you’re done with it, it can be your new best friend!"
"Hey, if you’re gonna play with it, you’d better find a ball. He likes that!" Said the storeowner.
"I don’t think we need that big of a jar." Said Lloyd. "And that ‘friend idea is stupid. I think the store keep is a little… well… you know…"
"Retarded?" Asked Duke.
"Uhhhh… yeah." Said Lloyd. "We only need something small. Anyway, where are Ben and Jenny? Weren’t they here?"
"No, they left to get some yarn for that guy in Dorter. He sure likes yarn." Said Jeremy. "I wonder if he’s still sitting there, even after we’ve been gone for these past few days."
"Oh, I’m pretty sure he’s still there. He promised. Usually, when you promise, you keep it." Said Duke. "He’ll be there." Lloyd, Duke, and Jeremy looked around town for the other two, and found them in a shop.
"Hey guys! Look what I’ve got! It’s yarn! Now we can give it to that guy in Dorter for whatever he plans to give us." Said Ben. The group got the yarn, and traveled to Dorter, and obviously, nothing happened, like always. When they got there, they noticed the guy was still sitting on the rock, even though it was raining. Jenny handed him the yarn.
"Here’s you’re yarn. Now, what’s our reward?"
"My butt hurts from all this sitting…young…LADY." He said. "I mean… FUSHURUSHU! YOU WERE TRICKED!" The man transformed into this giant yellow squid-like thingy.
"What!?" She said.
"IT WAS ALL A TRICK! THAT GUY WHO SOLD YOU THE YARN WAS A STUDENT OF MINE NAMED MARTINE! HE TRICKED YOU INTO BUYING IT SO I’D GET SCREWED! FUSHURUSHU!" He yelled. Ben and Duke ran because they didn’t want to fight. The others managed to somehow hill him instantly.
"That…was…easy." Said Lloyd.
"It’s logic, really." Said Jeremy.
"Shut up!" Said Lloyd. Ben and Duke came back.
"That was fast." Said Duke.
"Oh, and bye the way, we need another pic-a-nic basket so we can carry our peanut butter sandwiches."