Tortured

[04.02.00] » by Nightsong

Who am I?

I’ve asked myself before.

I thought I answered the question

But the answer told me nothing

Nothing, that is, that is useful

It merely raised more questions

Why did I forget?

How did I become him?

How did I forget him?

What made Zack meld with me?

How did I lose myself so totally

In a world of mirrors and deception?

I don’t understand.

I shall never understand, I suppose

Knowledge of who I am makes me wonder

Makes me wonder who I am

For though I know my identity

I don’t know what it is

None of my friends know me

They know an illusion of the past

They’ve never met “Cloud”

The one I know I am

Of course, I have forgotten Cloud

Even though I remember his past

For that personality has disappeared

It no longer exists

But I cannot be Zack any longer

Not with knowledge of what I do

So I’m left with nothing

Nothing at all

Nothing at all.

I should have guessed it would be this way

Outside of my mirror world

Outside of my protective shell of deception

Where I no longer matter

The only one who knows me from then is Tifa

And she knows me no longer

In fact, she didn’t really know me then

I was just the shy, violent kid

I hardly spoke to her ‘til our promise

A promise that would be better made…

That would be better made by someone like Zack

Not an illusionist, spinning his web.

I have no identity left to me

My existence is hopeless, it seems

What can I do any longer?

I’ve cut all ties to my past

Sephiroth’s dead. Nibelheim’s dead.

Even proud Zack, who I stole is dead.

And I’m left alone with a group of people who don’t know me

That expect me to know what to do

Not because I’m a great guy

But because of who they thought they knew

The past is dead

I know that now

It shall never be otherwise.

But in the past lies myself

Buried beneath my lies.