A Final Fantasy Memorial Day

[04.01.00] » by Fritz Fraundorf

   The FF7 characters are all sitting on a couch somewhere, watching TV.

   Barret: Oh boy! Blue's Clues!

   Cid: What the %!@#^&!? I wanna watch Dukes of Hazzard!

   They start fighting over the remote.

   Tifa: Cloud, let's make out.

   Aeris: No, he's mine!

   Tifa and Aeris start fighting.

   Cloud: ooooooookkkkkkkkkk

   Scarlet enters and starts chasing all the guys around the room, trying to have sex with them.

   Cloud: Help!

   Rufus enters.

   Scarlet: Roofy-Woofy!

   Scarlet throws herself at Rufus and tackles him. They start making out.

   Cloud: Hey, has anyone seen my hair spray?

   Sephiroth appears.

   Sephiroth: I took it!

   Cloud and Sephiroth clash in a long and gory battle involving a chainsaw, machine guns, and lots of profanity.

   Cloud: YOUR MOM FUCKING SUCKS!!!!

   Sephiroth: SHUT THE FUCK UP DUMBASS!!!!

   Cloud: ooooooookkkkkkkk

   Vincent drinks lots of Jolt and goes crazy. He starts sucking peoples' blood.

   Everyone: Oh no! It's a vampire!

   Yuffie: Good thing I'm Yuffie the Vampire Slayer!

   Fritz: EVERYONE STOP THIS!

   Sephiroth: Why?

   Fritz: BECAUSE I'M THE AUTHOR AND I SAID SO.

   Sephiroth: Oh, okay.

   Cait Sith: Hey, this wasn't in the script!

   Yuffie: I'm a Materia Girl!

   Cloud: oooooooooookkkkkkk

THE END