A Final Fantasy Memorial Day
[04.01.00] » by Fritz Fraundorf
The FF7 characters are all sitting on a couch somewhere, watching TV.
Barret: Oh boy! Blue's Clues!
Cid: What the %!@#^&!? I wanna watch Dukes of Hazzard!
They start fighting over the remote.
Tifa: Cloud, let's make out.
Aeris: No, he's mine!
Tifa and Aeris start fighting.
Scarlet enters and starts chasing all the guys around the room, trying to have sex with them.
Scarlet throws herself at Rufus and tackles him. They start making out.
Cloud: Hey, has anyone seen my hair spray?
Sephiroth: I took it!
Cloud and Sephiroth clash in a long and gory battle involving a chainsaw, machine guns, and lots of profanity.
Cloud: YOUR MOM FUCKING SUCKS!!!!
Sephiroth: SHUT THE FUCK UP DUMBASS!!!!
Vincent drinks lots of Jolt and goes crazy. He starts sucking peoples' blood.
Everyone: Oh no! It's a vampire!
Yuffie: Good thing I'm Yuffie the Vampire Slayer!
Fritz: EVERYONE STOP THIS!
Fritz: BECAUSE I'M THE AUTHOR AND I SAID SO.
Sephiroth: Oh, okay.
Cait Sith: Hey, this wasn't in the script!
Yuffie: I'm a Materia Girl!