A knock at the door made her jump and she crossed the room to open it, completely surprised to see a very distraught Jarric when she did. "Jules, can I talk to you?" he said in a very hushed voice and she nodded, letting him in and locking the door behind him.

"What's wrong…?" she started as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Can you come to Timber with me?"

Julia's eyes went wide in surprise and she gestured without saying anything, the words seeming frozen. "Jarric…what? What is going on…?"

"I need to go to Timber to get my little sister. I got a letter from my mother today…I promise I'll explain on the way, but I would really appreciate the…moral support.

Well…I was complaining that my life was in a rut… "I…I would, but I don't ride trains…it's…a long story…"

He smiled up at her gratefully, then stood to give her a quick hug. "We'll find some other way to get there, I promise. I need to go talk to my Uncle – don't worry about your responsibilities here, he'll understand."

"Alright…but…"

"We'll leave tomorrow – make sure you dress warmly…and…"

"What?"

"Nothing, nevermind…I'll see you tomorrow morning." Julia watched as he let himself out and then paced around her room several times. Her intuition was telling her that something major was going on that Jarric was afraid to tell her about. But why would he want me along, then? I don't understand… One thing was for sure, life was about to become a mysterious adventure.

"Great…it sounds like something out of a mystery novel," she groaned to herself, crossing her little room to the dresser. She slid the top drawer open to retrieve a long thin box, her heart beating just a bit faster. "Something else I didn't want to look at for a long time…" she whispered. She lifted the box from the drawer and carried it over to the table, lifting the lid carefully and setting it on the chair. The blade reflected the light of her Tiffany lamp, safe within the tissue paper for many years. The three jewels in the handle were as bright as she remembered, two sapphires and one diamond… Oh mom…are you the one whispering to me that I'm going to need this soon…?

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"I'm not used to seeing you dressed like that."

Julia smirked in the early morning light as they left the Deling City Hotel behind them and she followed Jarric towards the edge of town. Instead of her usual girlish outfits, she was dressed all in dark blue, with strong black boots and a heavy red cloak tied around her, her mother's short sword sheathed at her side. "I guess there's a lot you don't know about me…"

Jarric smiled at her and then his gaze turned curious as he noticed the sword at her side. "You...know how to fight with that?"

Julia nodded, tucking her hands into her pockets to keep them warmer. "My brother taught me more than just how to throw a punch…I guess losing our parents young made us sure that we could fend for ourselves in any situation. So where are we headed…?"

"The military base…a friend of mine owes me a favor…"

The two walked in silence until they arrived, and Julia wondered why they were stopping here. Her curiosity was further heightened when General Caraway appeared from the main tent, lifting a hand to Jarric in greeting. "This is your friend…?" she said softly.

"Our parents work together," he said in reply, and then quickened his pace to reach where Will stood, offering a hand to shake. "How are you?"

"I'm the same as always…so what about this favor?" He raised an eyebrow expectantly and waited for Jarric to answer.

"Nothing big…I just need to borrow two horses to go to Timber."

It was then that Will noticed Julia standing a few feet behind Jarric, and smiling at her, he gestured for her to come closer. "It's nice to see you again, Miss Heartilly," he said. "I didn't realize you knew Jarric."

Julia nodded as Jarric lifted the flap of the bag at his side to retrieve the letter he'd gotten yesterday, handing it over to the General to read. He skimmed it quickly and then looked up with a frown. "Miss Heartilly, will you excuse us for a moment?" Jarric followed Will inside the tent and she was left alone outside in the chill morning air. Wandering across the clearing she hummed the melody to her latest song, her hands idly playing an air piano. What's in that letter…why did Jarric ask me along…

Her thoughts drifted to her friend Tess who lived in Timber, and she wondered if she should pay her a visit while she was in town. Will and Jarric reappeared then, each leading a horse and she jogged back across the clearing to them with a smile. "Please be careful, you two," Will said seriously as she put one foot in the stirrup and swung herself up and over the horse.

"What's the horse's name?" she asked as Jarric mounted his stead.

"Yours is Sunflower, and the one Jarric's riding is Thistle," Will answered with a small smile.

"Thank you again," Jarric said to Will as he turned his horse to leave. "I will send word as soon as I find out more of what's going on."

Julia waved and then followed Jarric out of the military base and down a narrow path through the woods. "So…"

"Oh…Jul, I didn't even think to ask if you could ride, I just assumed…"

"Don't worry about it," she replied, reaching a gloved her to brush a strand of chestnut hair out of her face. "I just…I really wish you'd tell me what's going on."

"I was planning on it," he said with a sigh. "I just wanted to wait until we were out here where no one could overhear us."

"Now I'm even more curious," she said softly. Jarric was silent for a moment and the only sound was the cold winter wind whipping through the trees.

"I'd simply let you read my mother's letter, but I don't think you'd understand it, so I'll try to explain myself. My parents are agents for the Galbadian government, and they are currently working undercover. It's one of the reasons why I'm here in Deling City with my uncle – it's safer for me to be separated from my parents, and also, my uncle wanted me to watch out for you."

"Me? What do I have to do with this?"

"I'm getting to that," he said with a wry expression. "You do know about the war that's beginning to escalate, right?"

"I know a little bit…that a Sorceress has taken over Esthar…and there's something going on with some ruins on that continent…but I really don't know much more than that."

"Every Sorceress needs a successor," he added. "Sorceress Adel has her sights set on one particular girl, who's barely more than a baby at the moment."

"That's terrible…" she muttered. "Why this one particular girl? I've sure there are many in Esthar that are already highly skilled in magickal arts…"

"Apparently the child is gifted in some way…right now I'm not really sure. Adel murdered the girl's family while they were living peacefully in the little town of Balamb. The government in Balamb is not particularly strong, and they turned to Galbadia for help. The entire thing is very top secret because they don't want to alarm the people. When a war starts hitting too close to people's hearts, they tend to panic…"

"So your parents are working for the government in connection with this situation…?"

"Yes…my father is in Esthar right now with General Caraway's father, trying to track down where the little girl is being kept. My mother knows a lot more about the entire situation, but I think they are going to rescue the girl and take her into hiding. Someone is afraid that Adel passing on her powers to this girl could bring more havoc upon Esthar, and eventually the world."

Julia frowned to herself, trying her hardest to draw upon old memories. "My family is from Esthar…well, I think so, at least. We lived there for quite awhile when I was very young."

"I know that…I think it's the reason I brought you with me."

Julia gave him a startled look and brought her horse to a stop. "What are you talking about? You've completely lost me."

"I don't know a lot about this, I told you…but my mother requested I bring you with me to Timber, and so I did as she asked…" Jarric stopped his horse too, and turned to look at Julia, whose face was about as red as her wool coat at the moment.

"I really dislike being lied to," she said through clenched teeth.

"I'm not lying to you, Jules, I promise," he said, closing his eyes with another sigh. "You know we're better friends than that. Just wait to get mad at me until after we reach Timber…I'd like to get there by nightfall. Time is really of the essence right now…"

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Jarric tied their horses to the gate in front of the little house on the edge of town and she followed him in silence to the door. Before he even had a chance to knock, it swung open and a little girl of perhaps six came flying out and wrapped her arms around Jarric's legs. "Mommy said you were coming!!" she squealed excitedly, her blonde ringlets bouncing as she hopped around. Jarric reached down to scoop her up into his arms for a hug and then she turned to look at Julia with curious blue eyes. "Who are you?"

"Rinoa!" another voice intoned sharply from the doorway. The woman had the same blonde hair, twisted into a braid, and Julia could only assume this was their mother. "Don't be so rude!"

Julia laughed at this as she followed Jarric inside. "It's really ok," she said.

"Julia, this is my mother, Felice, and my little sister, Rinoa. Mom, this is Miss Julia Heartilly."

Felice came forward to give Julia a warm hug which she returned somewhat awkwardly. "You look so much like your mother."

"You…you knew my mother?" Julia's eyes went wide.

Felice nodded and then turned to lift Rinoa from Jarric's arms. "I will explain more later on," she said softly. "Right now, I need to get this little one to bed."

Julia nodded and Jarric touched her arm lightly. "Didn't you say you wanted to pay a visit to an old friend of yours? You may want to go now, because I'm not sure how long we'll be here."

Julia nodded and let herself out the front door, wandering down the streets of Timber as the sun started to set, trying to figure out how many years it had been since she'd gone to visit Tess. They'd been friends as children, as soon as she and Tim had gone to live with their grandparents on the farm outside Deling, but she'd left to open a book store in Timber not too long after Julia left to pursue her music. She reached the front door and knocked a bit hesitantly, but as soon as she saw her friend, couldn't help but grin. "Surprise."

"Jules!!!" Tess said in surprise, giving her a huge hug. "What are you doing here?!"

"If you can believe it…I'm not really sure…"

Tess gestured for her to come in, and the two sat down on the couch in the living room. "I haven't heard from you in a few months. I was starting to worry about you."

"You know I'd never forget my best friend," she said with a grin. "It's just been a bit chaotic lately…" She proceeded to fill her friend in on every last detail, and after she finished Tess was silent for a moment, then took her glasses from her face, cleaning them thoughtfully on her blue denim shirt.

"Do you love Laguna?" she asked.

"I…I think I do…"

"Do you love Jarric?"

"I…we're friends…"

"Do you love Will?"

"I hardly know him…TESS! That wasn't the point of the story."

Tess grinned and replaced her glasses on her face, standing up and moving to the kitchen. "I know that…but obviously if these people know something about your parents, you're not going to find out until they tell you, right?"

"Yeah…but it still bothers me…the nightmares have been coming back again…"

Tess came back with two glasses and handed one to Julia, reaching over to give her a quick hug. "I know it means a lot to you…but Julia…don't let the agonies of the past ruin the happiness of your present…"

"But Tess…I don't even know if I am happy…"

************************************************************************

"So you can see that it's necessary for me to go to Esthar…"

"Why won't you let me go instead," Jarric said with a pointed look at his mother.

"No," Felice said with a shake of her head. "You don't know it like I do, you're not trained like I am…"

"But mother…"

Julia sat silently on the couch that same evening, listening as Felice explained to them why she'd summoned them to retrieve Rinoa. "Adel knows there are spies in Esthar – if I am there, your father and I will have a greater chance of escaping with the baby by posing as a family."

"Felice…" Julia finally interrupted. "I understand your needing to go, but why am I here?"

"Simple," she replied. "Those bullies in the bar in Deling were actually agents of Esthar undercover as well – they are after whoever here knows about this mission. Besides the fact that you defended Jarric that evening, your name ties you to the entire thing."

"What?"

"You didn't know your parents were involved in this? They were part of this same mission…"

A sinking feeling hit Julia and she brought a hand to her head. "You think the soldiers will be after me…?"

"I'm not positive, since it's been years since your parents died and your older brother probably knows nothing of it either. But I felt it safer to let you know before I left."

"I…I'm not feeling so well…I think I'm going to go lay down…"

"I'll be leaving as soon as I finish speaking with Jarric," Felice said, rising to give Julia a hug. "I'm really sorry to have dragged you into this – "

"It's not your fault," Julia said quickly and turned to head for the stairs to the guest room. "I just never knew a lot about my parents so…it's a lot to digest all at once, I guess…"

Alone in her room, Julia sat by the window, tracing designs in the frost on the pane, her mind spinning circle after circle. What if I'd never gone to Deling City to play piano? Would any of this be happening? Why didn't Tim know about Mom and Dad? I know I was young, but he's so much older than me…why…why… The single word echoed in her mind over and over until she finally lay down on the bed, holding the pillow over her head as if it could block out her own consciousness.

************************************************************************

I'm so sorry…Timothy…Julia…your parents were killed in a horrible train accident tonight… Seven year old Julia refused to believe it, and she pushed her way past the officer, running down the darkened lane to the main road, past all the farms and into the center of town…up the stairs…they'll be right there…waiting for me… Mommy…Daddy… Tears streamed down her face as she ducked under the turnstile, ignoring the calls of her brother and grandparents behind her. "No…no…" The train station was empty, and the darkness, it was swallowing her whole…eating away at her from the inside out…come back to me…

Julia woke up with a start, her hands clammy and her eyes filled with tears, hating herself for letting the same images haunt her repeatedly. She tumbled out of her bed, reaching into her bag to grab the book she often scribbled her thoughts in. Her mind suddenly recalled her mother's last words, before she'd left with her father on another business trip.

"Momma…don't go…stay here!"

Julia picked up the pen in a shaky hand, scrawling into her book. If I could only feel it again… "So let me come to you…close as I want to be…close enough to feel your beat beating fast…and stay there as I whisper…how I loved your peaceful eyes on me…"

Julia dropped the pencil and buried her face in her hands, the tears running free down her face. "I'd give anything to just to have your eyes on me again..."

The door suddenly flew open without anyone knocking and Jarric looked in at alarm. "Get dressed and grab your bag," he said in a hushed voice. "There's a regiment of Esthar soldiers at the edge of town – we've got to get out of here now."

Julia nodded as he left the room, dressing quickly and throwing her red cloak around her shoulders. She threw her book into her bag and ran down the stairs, her eyes catching the time on the clock. 5 AM… Jarric was already downstairs, buttoning the coat of a very sleepy Rinoa. "Are they looking for your mother or us?"

"I'm not sure…" He lifted Rinoa into his arms and gestured for her to follow him out the back door. "We can't take the horses, they'd hear us leaving…we'll have to go on foot…" Outside the half moon shed just enough light to see by and they made their way quietly through the town, ducking behind trees and market stall when they could. In Jarric's arms, Rinoa started to whimper, sensing their fear and he shushed her. "There's a half dozen of them in front of the train station…I don't know how we can get past…"

A light clicked on behind them, and as the door opened Julia realized they were standing in front of Tess's house. She tapped Jarric on the shoulder, gesturing for him to follow her and ran for the door, pushing Tess aside and closing it behind them, and shutting off the light. "Jules…?" Tess said softly in the darkness.

"We think they might be looking for us…"

"I understand," she said with a quick nod. "If you go out my back door, I think you can get to the south side of the train station…better yet, I'll take you there myself."

Jarric thanked her softly and the group made their way out the back door. As they closed on the station's south side, the early train pulled in and came to a halt. Julia shuddered and looked away, trying not to get upset, and then Jarric turned to them, putting Rinoa down. "Stay here," he said softly. "I'm going to see if there are any soldiers at the south entrance."

He moved with light steps out into the clearing and Julia watched in silence, intuition telling her something was wrong. "HALT!" a loud voice came and Rinoa started to whimper again. In the early morning silence, Jarric's voice was carried on the wind towards them, where snatches of his conversation with a solider could be heard. Suddenly the soldier gave him a swift knee in the stomach and Jarric doubled over. Rinoa shrieked, giving away their hiding space and ran into the clearing towards Jarric, calling his name. Julia and Tess raced after her, and on instinct Julia pulled her sword from its sheath.

Shots sounded across the clearing and little Rinoa sank to the ground. The solider had been so intent on the wailing child he failed to notice the two women, and as Tess lifted Rinoa into her arms, Julia swung the blade through the air to take down the surprised solider in one shot. Jarric stood, drawing his own blade, and shook his head. "Get on the train," he told the two of them. "The soldiers will think I took this one out and won't think to go after the train."

"Jarric…I can't…" Julia started, panic crossing her face.

"It means your life, and Tess' life…and Rinoa's life…"

"Come on, Julia," Tess said fearfully, hugging the crying little girl to her. "I don't think the little one's too badly injured, but we've got to get out of here fast."

Jarric led them up the stairs of the freight train, and took Rinoa from Tess's arms as she climbed into a half-empty box car, kissing the little girl on the forehead before lifting her up to Tess. He turned to look at Julia, who'd gone white as ghost. "I can't, Jarric…I can't…"

"Yes you can," he whispered to her. Julia closed her eyes, feeling dizzy, and then suddenly Jarric's hands were around her waist. His mouth pressed against hers and she lifted her arms around his neck. He lifted her up into his arms, and before she knew what had happened, he'd deposited her into the box car. "Take Rinoa to General Caraway," he said softly as the train started to pull out of the station. "He'll know what to do…"

"What about you?" she called back to him as he grew smaller.

"I'll meet you there! I promise…"

************************************************************************

"Tess…God, I'm so sorry…"

"Julia…you know I'd do anything for you…please don't worry about it."

Julia leaned against her best friend, resting her head on her shoulder as the train rumbled along towards Deling City. "Thank you…I…I hate trains…"

Tess laughed softly. "I know, sweetie," she said. "The important thing is getting this little girl somewhere safe." She'd wrapped little Rinoa's arm in part of the skirt torn from her dress, but she was still bleeding pretty badly, and they were both worried she might not make it. "You know where to find this General Caraway?" she asked, her gray eyes shining in the dim light of the box car.

"Yeah…he should still be at the military base…"

Several hours later the train finally rolled to a stop and the two climbed down and started the walk to the base outside of town. Tess followed Julia into the camp and several soldiers came running to greet them, one of them taking Rinoa out of her arms. "I need to see General Caraway right away," Julia said softly and one of the soldiers ran to get him.

"I'm going to follow them to make sure Rinoa is ok," Tess said as Will approached them with a worried expression on his face.

Julia nodded and then headed towards the general, following him into his private tent. "Where is Jarric?"

"Still in Timber…" Will sat down on at the table in the room as Julia explained what had happened. "He'd said he'd meet us back here, but with the amount of soldiers, I'm really worried…"

"Jarric is a lot stronger than he lets people perceive," Will assured her. "All we can do is await his return, or some other word from our agents in Esthar…I assume you know what's going on now…"

"More than I did before…" she said, looking down at the floor in an effort to control her reeling emotions.

"I know now is not really the time, but…I have some other not pleasant news…your friend Laguna's unit was attacked yesterday outside the city of Esthar. He is currently listed as MIA…but much of the unit was massacred in the surprise attack so…"

"Oh God…" she whispered, looking up as her eyes filled with tears. "Then he's…"

Will didn't answer her, only looked at her with sad eyes, and she sat down at the table, tears streaming silently down her face. "Julia…"

Oh God…not again… Will stood up and came around the table, sitting down beside her, and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I just…I can't…"

"Nothing's for certain…" he attempted to comfort her. Julia looked up at him and nodded slowly. "I…I'm going to go check on Rinoa…"

************************************************************************

"How's the little girl doing?"

Julia looked up from writing in her book as Will entered the tent where she and Tess had been living for the last week and shook her head. "Not so well…she lost a lot of blood during the long trip, and she's very weak. When she isn't sleeping, she's just tossing and crying out for Jarric or her parents…"

"I think she'll be ok in the end…if she doesn't seem any better in a few days, I'll have the medics take her into the city."

"Thank you…" she said, and they stood in silence for a moment before she closed her book and gestured for him to come sit down. "Will, I've been meaning to ask you…but I suppose I haven't had the guts…"

"What is it?"

Please don't take this the wrong way… "How come you're here…I mean, and not in Esthar working with your father?"

"It's…a long story," he said with a frown. "I didn't always intend to enter the military, you know."

"I don't mean any offense, but you seem to be too much a compassionate soul to tolerate a daily diet of fighting…"

Will shrugged and tugged at the sleeve of his jacket. "I wanted the money from the service to put myself through school…when I was younger I wanted to be a writer, an artist…I guess I'm not much of a dreamer anymore. Once you get to be my age, reality takes a toll on you."

Julia smirked and punched him playfully in the arm. "You're only a couple years older than me," she remarked. "You've got your whole life ahead of you!"

"Maybe," he replied with another shrug. "My life's been in a constant rut since I took this position at the base…and maybe I'm just too bitter and tired to bother trying to find something that would make me happier. I guess steady is more important than inspiring at this point."

"But what made you bitter…?" There's something so sad in his eyes, yet he insists on pretending he's strong, bitter and fed up with life… Yet at the same time, he has the compassion to go to all ends to send that letter for me…to be concerned about a child…I just don't get it… "Will…?"

"It's not something I enjoy talking about," he finally answered her. Before Julia could say anything else, a soldier stuck his head in the tent and saluted.

"Sir!" he reported. "Young man named Jarric Telorin here to see you!"

"Thank the Goddess," Julia said with relief as she and Will both jumped up and hurried out of the tent. "Jarric!" she called, running to him and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. "I was so worried! Where have you been?"

"Just hiding out," he answered, hugging her back and then moving to shake hands with Will. "I needed to lay low until some of the soldiers left town. How's Rinoa?"

Julia and Will led him toward the tent where he went immediately to his sister's side, reaching a gentle hand to her face. "Noe…I'm here…" The little girl turned to look at him and smiled gently before closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep. Jarric stood and came back over to them with a frown. "Can I talk to you two?"

Will nodded and they made their way back to his tent. "What now, Jarric? I thought this would be over for you…" Julia started.

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "My mother told me that if the soldiers showed up in Timber before we had a chance to leave then it was likely my father and Will's father were caught. She's already in Esthar, working to break them out, but once she does, they still need to rescue the child."

"Do they want backup?" the general asked, sitting down at the table in his room with a perturbed look.

"No…they're under orders to keep this quiet…it could well be a suicide mission…"

"Oh Jarric," Julia said in a shaky voice, bringing a hand to her face.

"I'm going to Esthar – I promised my mother I'd be waiting at the border to take the child from them…if they don't know I have her, my parents can draw attention away and have the soldiers follow them instead."

"I'm coming with you," Will announced suddenly and Jarric nodded. "This is too important a mission for it to fail."

"Well I'm coming too, then," she blurted out.

"What?" Will said, turning to look at her. "Don't be ridiculous. You're not suited to this."

You barely know me…much less know what I'm capable of… "General Caraway," she said icily. "I know how to fight. I would be an asset to you."

"She's right about that," Jarric said, interrupting Julia before she could go off on a tangent. "I've seen her handle a sword, and fight hand to hand…"

"It's a ridiculous idea," Will said with a shake of his head. "You're a musician… you're not a soldier…"

"I am more than a pretty face, a gentle voice…" she said through gritted teeth.

"Her parents were part of this, Will," Jarric interrupted again. "It should really be her decision to make."

There was silence for a moment and finally Will nodded. "Alright…"

"We'll leave tonight," Jarric said and then moved to leave the room. "I'm going to check on Rinoa again…"

Julia and Will stared at each other in silence, neither willing to be less stubborn than the other. I'll prove to you that I can take care of myself…that I'm more than some emotional, fragile, can't-take-care-of-herself girl… She turned and left the tent without another word. You want to hide all of your feelings behind that soldier façade, be my guest…but I put everything I've got out there… She found Tess in their tent, writing a letter home to her family and sat down across from her with a sigh, immediately pouring out everything that had just happened.

"He probably just doesn't want to see anyone else hurt," Tess said to her with all logic, giving her a hug. "I don't think it was meant as a personal insult. I certainly don't know how to fight, but I know you do…"

"Thanks Tess…" she said softly. "Maybe…maybe I can be emotional, maybe I've been hurt a lot in my life…but at least I have the guts to say I always followed my intuition, that I never locked myself inside a wall of bitterness just to keep people from getting close to me…" I start to see now that that's what it is…he doesn't want anyone to see past that wall he keeps up…but why…

************************************************************************

"If I'm not back in twenty-four hours, then I want you both to return to Galbadia and notify the government that the mission was aborted…"

"You're sure you want to do this alone?"

"We have no choice in the matter," Jarric said with a shake of his head. "My mother isn't where she said she'd be, and I'm only the only one of us that has entrance papers to Esthar.""

"Please be careful…and don't be ashamed to run if you're surrounded," Julia said, reaching to give him a hug. Jarric hugged her back and then took his bag off to leave it with them.

"Less weight to carry," he said with a small smile and then with a wave, rounded the rock formation, leaving Julia and Will alone.

"This is going to be the longest twenty-four hours of my life," Julia said with a sigh, rubbing her cold hands together. Will said nothing, only started throwing sticks in a pile to start a fire. "Are you not going to speak to me at all?" Julia finally asked after a good ten minutes of silence.

"I thought you were angry with me," he finally answered her. "I don't like confrontation, so I just didn't say anything."

Julia smiled wryly and then gave him a grateful look as the fire crackled to life in front of them. "I was…but I'm not really, anymore. I'm more curious than anything else."

"Curious about what?"

"Why you act the way you do."

Will sat down across from her, holding his own hands closer to the fire and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Someone must have hurt you terribly for you to act the way you do," she said softly. "I know that underneath that bitter soldier façade is a truly caring man. I saw it the first day I met you, when I was frantic to get that letter to Laguna…" She bit her lip at the mention of his name, but Will didn't say anything so she continued. "I saw it again when we brought Rinoa to the camp…"

"I never said I didn't care about anyone."

"I know…it's just…when you were talking to me about the things you dreamed about when you were younger…I want to know what made you not follow the dream you had…"

"Why does it matter?" He pulled his hat off, setting it beside him and ran his fingers through his dark curly hair. As she contemplated what to say next, she suddenly realized how very attractive her was.

"Because I find you interesting? Because I care about you?"

"How can you care about someone you don't even know that well?"

Julia sighed in frustration. "Was it a woman? A girlfriend?"

"Yes. Are you satisfied now?"

"No…"

"Miss Heartilly, what do you want from me?" he said, averting her eyes and gazing into the fire instead.

"I want to know…you…I guess…don't you want to know me?"

"It's been a long time since I let myself get close to anyone," he replied, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his legs. "It's too hard to let people know me anymore."

"If you give up and shut everyone out, of course it is," she replied. "You think I've never been hurt in my life? Do you having my parents die, having my brother fall in love and get a family, watching everyone else around me find happiness...made me feel any better about myself? It hasn't stopped me from caring about people, from letting myself feel sadness…from letting myself feel joy…"

"Her name was Becky," he finally interrupted her. "I was very young then, barely twenty…I thought I was in love. I took a position at the base here to stay close to her, took classes so that when I got out of the military I could get a good job, make a life for us…"

"And?"

"Suffice to say, I was too young to really understand what love is…it fell apart…if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it anymore…"

Julia stood up and came around the fire to sit next to him, looping an arm around his waist and leaning her head on his shoulder. He turned his head to look down at her with a wry smile, asking her with his eyes why she had done that. "Thanks for sharing," she said softly.

He nodded silently, and then a few moments later, looped an arm around her shoulders too.

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A gun shot in the distance startled Julia out of a sound sleep and she jumped up, rubbing her eyes furiously, to see Will in a crouch, peering around the edge of the rock formation. "What's going on?" she whispered.

"I'm not sure, it's too dark to make it out…" he whispered back. "Something's going on by the gate…I'd go and see, but we promised Jarric we wouldn't leave this spot…"

The end of his words were muffled as running footsteps became louder and Jarric appeared around the edge of the rocks, breathing heavily and clutching a bundle to his chest. "What's going on?" Will asked as Jarric handed the bundle to Julia. She could tell as soon as her arms grasped it that it was the little girl, wrapped in a blanket.

"Our fathers…caught, shot to death trying to escape," he muttered, still trying to catch his breath. "My mother is leading them in the other direction, but I have no doubt they'll catch her – they saw give me the child. I want you two to run, leave me here, I'm already injured."

"No," Will said forcefully. "You go with Julia and escape, you'll never make it if you stay here – you're bleeding terribly already."

"I don't want you to get killed," Jarric rasped, but Julia was already tugging on his arm.

"Jarric, we've got to run!"

Will and Julia met eyes and her mouthed a thank you to her. "Meet back at base. Don't stop running whatever you do."

"Will…" Jarric started again.

"You have a little sister, Julia has a whole family – my life is not much next to that. If I die here, then it was the will of the Goddess, and I completely accept it. Now go!"

Julia grabbed Jarric's arm and they started to run across the open fields of Esthar, towards a rocky part of the coast where they'd hidden the boat. Behind them gunshot after gunshot rang out, sounding closer and closer by the minute. There was no moon in the overcast sky, and in the dark Julia stumbled, going down on one knee and trying not to hurt the baby in her arms. Behind her she heard another gunshot and Jarric cried out.

She put the babe down carefully in the grass and crawled towards where he'd fallen, her ankle screaming a pain that signified she'd injured something. "Jarric?" she whispered.

He propped himself up on one elbow and she could see the blood trailing down his side. "Run, Julia, please…" he said to her, his voice barely above a whisper. "You can't worry about me…I know you're scared…I know I'm not going to make it…please…finish this for me…"

"Jarric," she said, the tears running down her face, one hand reaching out to touch his face, all the while watching the blood pool in its inky crimson color around them. There you are…with that look on your face…as if you've never hurt…as if you've never down… "Don't you leave me too," she sobbed.

"Be strong, Jules," he whispered. "Your mother would have wanted you to…so would mine…so do I…"

He coughed hard after that last statement and without thinking, Julia bent over him, kissing him long and hard, knowing it would be a last. "Thank you…thank you for bringing some life back into my lonely world…"

He smiled up at her, his eyes blinking slowly. "Someone…better pinch me…I must be dreaming…cause I think I'm seeing an angel before me…Julia…" His eyes closed softly and he went limp in her arms. Julia had no time to mourn for the gunshots were drawing closer again, and she reached behind her to pick up the child. Stumbling in the darkness, its threat to swallow her whole present with every painful step, she ran for the boat, for the water, for freedom, safety, life…

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Julia collapsed into Tess's arms the moment she arrived back at camp, too drained to even cry, and her last thoughts were bleak ones as the world faded to black around her.

It was dark again when she finally woke in the infirmary, though it had been dawn when she'd arrived. She felt her with her hands in the dark, the stitches across her forehead and then turned to look at the bed beside her. The little girl, barely a year old, lay sound asleep, her short dark hair framing her round face as she breathed softly. Images and memories came flooding back to Julia as she sat alone in the dark, and she let them for once, sobbing into her hands. She was surprised when a moment later a figure sat down in the dark on the end of her bed, and she looked up, expecting it to be Tess. Strong arms wrapped around her and she realized it was Will, that he was alive, and she started sobbing anew. He hands stroked her hair, her back, holding her tightly, and she cried…for her parents, for Laguna, for Jarric, his family…for all the people who'd ever lost someone, for the people they had lost… And in that suffocating darkness, for once, she wasn't alone…

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Light was flooding into the tent when Julia woke again, and she realized with a start that she must have cried herself right to sleep the night before. The tent was empty, even the little girl was gone from her place the evening before. Julia crawled out of the bed, testing her weight carefully on her bruised ankle. As she reached the door to the tent, the flap moved aside and Tess came in, smiling and embracing her. "I'm so glad you're ok…"

"Where is Will…?" she said softly, suddenly afraid that the night before had been a dream.

Tess frowned and then reached into her pocket. "he…he left early this morning and didn't tell anyone where he was going…he left you a letter…" Julia turned away, unfolding the paper in shaky hands, sitting down on the bed as she read it once, twice, a third time…

Julia's hands shook as she finally set the letter down beside her. "I…I'm not sure why I'm upset…"

"It's better off this way," Tess said softly. "Jules…"

"It's not even the children…I know the mission had to end this way but…but last night…it seemed we were so close…and this letter…it's so cold…"

"Julia…"

Julia looked u at Tess and shook her head. "Don't worry about me, I'll be alright. I always am…"

Tess nodded and left Julia alone in the tent. How can you sit and hold someone while they cry…how can you share such emotion…and then turn around the next day as if nothing had happened… Julia paced the room slowly and then sat down on the bed again and reached to pull her book from the bag. "I kind of liked it your way…how you shyly placed your eyes on me…did you ever know…that I had mine on you…?" I thought we were starting to understand each other…

The hours passed as Julia lay on her back staring at the ceiling, her mind playing her songs, and she realized she needed to get back to her music. I need it…it's my only saving grace at moments like these… She had just made up her mind to walk back to Deling City herself when the flap of the tent moved aside and General Caraway entered.

"Are you ready to return to Deling City?" he said softly, his face betraying no emotion. Julia stood up without a word and limped slowly over to him, her eyes never leaving his face. Midnight blue met green-gold and she shook her head slowly.

"I have lost so many people in my life," she said softly. "I have never used it as an excuse to keep myself from caring, from loving, again. You can spend the rest of your life in denial, never crying for those you've lost, never loving those in your life, but I won't stand by and watch."

"Julia, you can't possibly understand – "

"But I do," she said pointedly. "With every glimmer in your soulful eyes, I see the pain, I see the past…and I know it eats away at you the same way it eats away at me. But it is a personal choice whether or not to dwell forever in that past, or to look to every day as another new beginning." She reached a hand up to touch his face lightly. "There is always a choice."

She stepped around him, calling out to Tess as she left the tent. The two of them climbed into the car the soldiers had brought them from the city, and then waved to the soldiers as the small car drove out of sight.

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You will always have a job here, Miss Heartilly…it'll be nice to hear some sweet music come from that piano again… Julia's hands swept over the keys as the last customer climbed the stairs and Tess smiled at her from her seat at the bar. "As lovely as I remember," she applauded and Julia laughed.

"I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow," she said with a sigh.

"I'll only be gone a few days," she replied, hopping off the stool and coming over to give her friend a hug. "I just need to close up the store in Timber, and then I'll be back."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Julia asked with a worried look.

"Positive," Tess replied. "I've got a long trip tomorrow, so I'm going to get some sleep. Don't stay up too late, alright?"

Julia nodded to her friend as she climbed the stairs and then let her hands drift over the ivory keys, an old favorite composition coming to her mind…The same one I played the last night Laguna was here… Tears sprung to her eyes and she lifted her left hand to brush them away, her other hand still spinning out the lonesome melody.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then suddenly there was harmony again. Her eyes snapped open as someone slid onto the bench beside her, adding the other part that she had neglected in order to brush her tears away. The simply melody wove around the two as they played, and when the song was over, the feeling seemed to linger in the air.

Julia turned to look at Will in surprise and he reached a hand to her face to brush another tear away. "I guess I forgot to mention I could play a little…or that I've been here and heard you play, a long time ago…"

"Why are you here?" she said softly, turning away with a sigh.

"I've been thinking about what you said," he replied. "I guess I have spent the last few years in my locked little castle…but there was also no one willing to try hard enough to break down the door."

"Maybe you didn't want them to…"

"What you said…about the past eating way…about there always being a choice…"

He reached a gentle hand up again to turn her face towards him, and as she looked into his eyes, his feelings were clear. "Will…" she whispered.

"I'm making a choice…and I'm choosing you." She closed her eyes as his lips met hers, their arms winding around each other in the dark, and the world around them, to Julia, seemed to burst into colorful and joyous song.

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Rinoa Heartilly flipped the last page of her mother's journal with a thoughtful sigh, placing the book carefully back into the box under her bed. Her own thoughts flashed to the people who'd already come in and out of her life, and she crossed her room in Balamb Garden to step out onto her balcony. Squall greeted her with a small smile and she moved to join him at the railing. Above the Garden, the sky was filled with stars… to her; they suddenly seemed a little brighter than they'd ever been before…