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Chapter FortyFive The prevailing mood of most of those on the Highwind was anxiety. Seven days were left in which to stop Meteor. Seven days in which to stop Sephiroth. No one was saying it outright, but that meant they had seven days to kill him or be killed.
Kit sat in the corner of the bridge, watching despondantly as Cloud tried to encourage his "troops," just like a good general. Except that he never had been a ranking member of the military at all, and he had no idea how to encourage a group of people who were so distracted, and whose loyalties were so torn. His words came slowly, awkwardly, and inspired no one.
"What are we all fighting for?" he asked them suddenly. "I want us all to understand that. Save the planet... for the future of the planet... Sure, that's all fine. But really, is that really how it is?"
The others looked up curiously now. What was he trying to say?
"For me, this is a personal feud. I want to beat Sephiroth. And settle my past. Saving the planet just happens to be a part of that," he stated. "I've been thinking... I think we all are fighting for ourselves. For ourselves... and that someone... something... whatever it is, that's important to us. That's what we're fighting for. That's why we keep up this battle for the planet."
Barret nodded. "You're right... It sounds cool sayin' it's to save the planet. But I was the one who blew up that Mako reactor... Lookin' back on it now, I can see that wasn't the right way to do things," he admitted. "I made a lot of friends and innocent bystanders suffer... At first, it was for revenge against Shinra. For attackin' my town. But now..." The big man's voice trailed off wistfully. "Yeah. I'm fightin' for Marlene. For Marlene... For Marlene's future... Yeah... I guess I want to save the planet for Marlene's sake."
Cloud nodded, and Kit could see understand dawning on the faces of those around her as they recalled their own families and friends - well, except for Cait Sith, but then, a robotic cat was a little hard to read. Everyone had someone they cared about, who they'd risk anything for, that they wanted to see just one more time.
"Go and see her," Cloud told Barret. "Make sure you're right, and come back. All of you. Get off the ship and find out your reasons for yourselves," he added, turning to the others. "I want you to make sure. Then I want you to come back."
Cid shrugged uneasily. "Maybe ain't none of us'll come back," he muttered. "Meteor's just gonna kill us all anyway. Let's just forget any useless struggling."
A few of the others looked slightly indignant, but Cloud simply nodded again. "I know why I'm fighting. I'm fighting to save the planet, and that's that. But besides that, there's something personal too... A very personal memory that I have." He paused for a moment. Thinking of Aeris, Kit assumed. "What about you all?" he asked finally. "I want all of you to find that something within yourselves. If you don't find it, then that's okay too," he said with a shrug. "You can't fight without a reason, right? So, I won't hold it against you if you don't come back."
If anything, his words made Cid look all the more uneasy, but finally he turned and told the helmsman to set a course for Rocket Town. It must have been tough on him, Kit supposed, to have discovered the woman he lived with in a whole new light only days before what may be the end of the world. It was only natural that he'd want to spend the rest of whatever time was left trying to sort out how he felt about that.
Red spoke up next, asking the helmsman to stop over Cosmo Canyon on the way west to Rocket Town, and Vincent quietly put in a request that he be dropped off by Nibelheim. Barret irritably said that they should head for Kalm first, since they were over Midgar already and it was just a short trip. Yuffie groaned, realizing that this meant she'd have a long ride to Wutai.
As the Highwind took off towards Kalm, Kit slipped out of the bridge, just to get away from them all. Sure, they all had someone they cared about, someone they'd be fighting for... but her? The person she wanted to protect was the man they'd have to defeat. So much for Cloud's philosophy.
No, the reason she had to fight wasn't for anyone in particular, she thought as she slumped down against the railing of the deck, watching the lights of Kalm as they approached and landed. There was no one left that she even remembered - Mara was gone, Shinra was in a shambles, even Hojo, the one last link to her past life, was gone. She was fighting for a world of strangers. And a son who would never meet his father.
She'd noticed earlier that her waist was beginning to get thicker now, and the reality was sinking in. Sephiroth's child, growing inside her... "I hope you can forgive me," she murmured, placing one hand over her stomach. "If I knew a way, I'd do anything it took to make you a complete family. But I don't think I have a choice anymore."
"You always have a choice," a voice said hesitantly, startling her.
She looked up to see Cloud standing above her. "Of all the people I thought would know when to leave me be," she muttered bitterly.
"What, you mean because of the way we were, as SOLDIERs?" he asked, equally bitter. "Have you forgotten already, I never was SOLDIER."
"Not because of SOLDIER," she answered. "Because you're a person who prefers that people leave you a wide emotional berth. So am I. I thought you'd respect that."
He shrugged. "Can't afford it now. Sometimes people say the exact opposite of what they want. There's a name for it..."
"What, you mean reverse psychology?" She laughed without any real humor. "You mean you think I wanted you to come check up on me? I'll give you some advice, Cloud Strife - leave the psychoanalysis to me, it's my department, as it turns out. For that matter... just leave. Please." She wasn't sure how much longer she could go on acting as if this wasn't tearing her up inside, and she didn't want to have to let Cloud see it.
"Actually, that's not why I came," he responded. "I have to ask you something. Just to make absolutely sure."
"Then ask, and make it fast. I need some time alone."
He nodded. "Just want to know... are you sure you can do this?"
She couldn't answer right away, and he took the opportunity to expand on it nervously. "I mean, this isn't going to be easy for any of us. And obviously, it's going to be more complicated for you."
She wanted to tell him to shut up, but she was afraid to speak. "I mean, he's the father of your child and all, and you loved him..." Cloud continued, getting a hard look on his face. "We can't afford to go easy on him, you know that. So when we go in there-"
"I won't let you down," Kit interrupted dully, turning away. "Is that what you wanted to know?"
"Well, yeah, sort of..." Cloud scratched his head, a bit flustered. "That and, are you going to be okay with it?"
When she didn't respond right away, he seemed to take it as an indication she didn't understand. "I mean..."
"I know what you mean," she cut him off. "And the truth is, I don't know. I guess we'll find out when it's all over."
"Well... if you think you can't do it, that's okay," he assured her. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"Yes I do. Don't you get it, Cloud?" she pleaded. "If it was just me who'd be hurt by allowing him to do as he pleased... so help me, even if it was just a small group of people like us who'd be hurt, I'd leave him to it. But it's not me, and it's not just us. We're talking about an entire planet full of people here."
"Yeah, but it's not your responsibility to take care of them," he pointed out. "If you don't want to do this, you can leave us. No one will blame you. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the others don't come back either."
Maybe none of you would blame me," she replied, "but I would blame myself. You told us to find our own reasons to fight... for ourselves... I can't fight for myself. I'll fight because it's either fight him, or fight myself for the rest of my life, if I even live any longer."
"And are you sure you won't end up fighting yourself over fighting him?" a strangely subdued voice came from the hallway. Cloud and Kit turned just in time to see Cait Sith bounding onto the deck, though without his usual cheerful manner.
"I know I will," Kit answered him. "But at least I'll be fighting myself for doing what was best for everyone, instead of what was best only for me."
The cat nodded, looking vaguely troubled. "Of course, you should take this time and consider all the options. Er, excuse me for butting in," he said, by way of belated apology. "I was just looking for Cloud."
"Yeah?" Cloud said, turning to him. "What is it?"
"I finally figured out where you should drop me off. When we head back towards Cosmo Canyon and Nibelheim, just land near the gates of Midgar for a sec, and I'll get off there."
"Midgar? Why Midgar?" Cloud asked curiously. "Shinra's gone, the place is a disaster area..."
"I know. That's why I figured, if my stuffed body can be there too, things might go a little smoother." The moogle bounced from foot to foot restlessly as the cat grinned. "We're trying to get everyone to take cover, and we could use all the extra hands we could get."
"Okay, works for me," Cloud said with a shrug. "And Kit, is there anywhere in particular you want to be dropped off?"
She shook her head with a sigh. "I don't have anywhere to go."
Cloud shrugged again. "I'll go let the helmsman know, I guess. Er... I'll be on the bridge, if you need me for anything."
After he'd left, the stuffed moogle bounced over to Kit's side, and the cat cocked its head and looked up at her. "You don't have anywhere to go? No place you want to see again? No one who you want to see, or who would want to see you?"
"Nope. Everything and everyone I've ever known or cared about has been either wiped out of my brain, or killed," she said bitterly. "Except for one, of course, and I can't exactly go to him now, can I?"
"Hmm." As the airship shuddered and began to rise into the air once more, the cat bowed his head, looking a bit sheepish. "Then would you consider coming with me?" Cait asked after a moment. "Like I said, we could use as many hands as we can get. The Meteor's poised to fall right on top of Midgar, and there are so many people there... so many can't get out, because they're too old, or too sick, or they have a few small children that they can't carry all at once... and so many others won't leave the only homes they've ever known."
She nodded. "Why not. It might be pointless though... if Meteor is just going to destroy the planet anyway." At least it would give her something to do to get her mind off what they'd be doing later.
"It won't happen," Cait said with a firm nod. "If at all possible, I want to come back. I don't know who else in this crowd might not return after they've seen their loved ones - what if Cloud's the only one left? Not that I don't have faith in him, but..."
Kit nodded. "It's too important to leave it up to chance, when you can make a difference."
"However small," Cait added. "That's why I'm going back to Midgar, you know. To make whatever difference a silly fortune-telling machine can make." The moogle bounced from foot to foot boastfully, and Kit couldn't help but smile a little at it. "Now if you don't mind, I'm a bit busy, and need to concentrate on some important things. So I'll just be turned off for awhile."
"I hope you realize you're talking about both yourself and the robot in the first person, Reeve," Kit observed.
"Hey, it's an alter ego," Cait protested. "Wouldn't be very believable if it talked about itself in the third person, would it? Anyway, just make some noise or something once we land near Midgar, and I'll be right back."
And with that, the cat fell silent. It was a little unnerving; Cait was so lively one minute, and completely still and lifeless the next. Kit was a little relieved when the short journey back to Midgar was finished, and the cat sprung to life again at the sound of her voice. Perhaps she did want to be alone, but not with an inanimate creature beside her that could come back to life at any moment.
"So, how are we going to get in?" Kit asked, once they'd gotten off the Highwind. They'd disembarked right beside the heavy steel doors that marked the entrance to Sector 3, and despite the extensive damage that the Weapon had done to the city inside the walls, the gates still stood tall and strong, without so much as a scratch.
"The gates, of course," Cait called back to her as the moogle bounded off towards the doors.
"Aren't they kept locked?" Kit asked, following him.
The cat nodded, stopping just in front of the doors. "Leave everything to..."
With a shudder and the shrieking noise of grating metal, the two interlocking plates slowly slid apart. Behind them was a very familiar shape - a small black and white toy cat perched on top of a huge white mountain of fur. "...Cait Sith!" the identical robot exclaimed cheerfully.
Kit blinked. "There are two?"
"Oh, that's right - you weren't around when the Temple of the Ancients shrank," the first Cait Sith said as the second bounced away with a wave. "There are a few Cait Siths. The first and best Cait Sith was sacrificed to get the Black Materia from the Temple, but the one you're seeing now is almost as polished. In fact, I'm getting more comfortable with these controls than I was with the first one," said the cat, with a flourishing bow. "And if I do say so myself, all of them are well-made enough to help out with things here. I'm glad you've come though," he added, turning to Kit seriously. "Some things are better done with a real set of hands. Now let's hurry - there's lots to be done here."
Kit nodded, taking a look around as she followed the hulking moogle through the gates. Just as in Sector 8, the place was a mess. Occasional dented vehicles were trying to make their way along the rubble-filled streets, not making much progress due to the twisted metal, shards of glass, and chunks of concrete, and often fleeing people. The glow of a huge fire was visible a few blocks away, and split pipelines near distressed wires threatened to ignite new ones at any moment. Overhead, the plate still looked more or less intact, but greatly distressed.
"I don't know how much time we have left," Cait admitted. "There's a chance it could come crashing down any second, and crush everyone here. So that's why we need to get everyone we can away from here immediately... But Kit, I don't want you to risk yourself, and your child, so why don't you stay at the edge of town, you can guide the people that I send out the gates safely-"
Kit shook her head. "If it could come crashing down at any second, we'll need to reach as many people as possible. I'd do more good in here than out there."
Cait looked uncertain, but nodded. "You're right... but if the plate gets any weaker, promise me you'll get to safety, all right?"
Kit nodded. "I'll think of something. Now, let's split up. Cait, why don't you go help that woman over there," she told him, spotting a fallen figure by the road. "I don't know what's wrong, but she needs help getting out, at any rate. I'll go check on the fire over that way, see if there's anything I can do." The two nodded in agreement, and ran off their separate ways.
As it turned out, the fire had started in a residential zone, just in one house, but spread quickly to nearly an entire block. Debris from Weapon's attack had blocked some people's doors, and they were trapped inside. The more fortunate citizens, who were able to escape, were working at removing the rubble to provide an escape route, but it was slow going for them. Kit, being trained in SOLDIER, was stronger than most of them, and went to lend a hand.
One by one, the people trapped inside the burning houses were freed, though it seemed to take hours. Kit's hands were raw from gripping the broken concrete, and smeared with soot from the dirty smoke, when she finally looked up again and saw with surprise that there were more people helping than when she'd arrived. Many of them were wearing the blue and red uniforms of the Shinra army, and a few SOLDIER uniforms could be spotted here and there, holding back the flames with Ice spells or healing those who had been burned. She took a moment to ask one of the red-uniformed men if this was Shinra's orders, and he shook his head. Shinra was finished, he told her, and now it was every man for himself. There was no point in following Heidegger's selfish orders now. "We're trained to keep the peace in Midgar," he stated simply, "or when that peace is taken, to restore it. Some of us still remember why we joined the Shinra military, and that was to protect."
Kit just nodded and went back to her task, but the man's words had renewed her strength, and she smiled as she worked, shouting encouraging words to the frightened people. Shinra's selfish rule was over now, and Midgar could become a better place. If it survived, anyway.
The flames had been cornered and were dying down within a few hours, and Kit turned her attention to helping the injured and confused make their way to the gates of the city. A few times she passed one of the Cait Siths doing the same thing, bounding along the streets with a group of children in tow, or directing an old, nearly crippled man to an easier route. She was so busy herself that she didn't bother taking the time to talk to him and ask how things were going, and was quite surprised when one of them finally approached her. "How are you holding up?" the cat asked.
"Just fine," she said quickly. At the moment, she was guiding a mother with three young children out of the city, and she shifted the crying baby she was holding in her arms. "Don't waste time worrying about me - we've got to hurry."
The cat looked dubious. "Tired? Hungry? Need a break? You realize, you've been working all night."
Actually, she hadn't noticed, but when she looked towards the gates, she could see the sky was growing lighter. Still, she was doing pretty well. "Sephiroth didn't seem to need to eat or sleep," she remembered. "Maybe I can function without those things too."
"Just be careful, okay?" Cait advised her. "Don't wear yourself out. We have somewhere to go after this, if you remember."
"When do you think we should leave?" she asked him. "I don't know if we can get everyone evacuated in a single day..."
"I was thinking, maybe we'll take off in a few hours," Cait suggested. "The situation's a lot better here than it was, what with all the guys from Shinra helping out. You and I aren't needed here nearly as badly as we were when we arrived, so we can afford to go."
Kit nodded. "Just meet me at the gates when you're ready," she told him, hurrying off in that direction.
"Where you going, Kit?" asked one of the small children who trailed behind her, holding his mother's hand.
"Well..." Kit wasn't sure how to answer that. "We're going to go try to stop Meteor."
"Can that be done?" the mother asked incredulously. "Shinra tried everything..."
Her eyes looked so hopeful... Kit shrugged. "We hope so."
Having brought them to the gates, Kit was a bit reluctant to put down the child in her arms. It would be nice to hold a little boy of her own... Ignoring the worries that brought to her mind, she turned back to look for anyone else who might need assistance. The stream of refugees fleeing the city seemed endless, and so she continued to do so until Cait Sith stopped her once more at the gates. "It's time we got back to the Highwind," he told her. "Do you still want to go?"
Kit looked at him strangely. "Of course I do. Cloud's counting on us, remember?"
The cat nodded slightly, turning away wordlessly. The crowd of refugees outside the gates was huge, and the wide frame of Cait's moogle moved through it clumsily, clearing a path Kit could easily follow to one of Shinra's helicopters. "It seemed like the easiest way back," he explained. "Rather than calling Cloud and telling him to fly around the world again to pick us all up, we all arranged our own transportation. And Shinra won't be using this anymore." The cat made a clumsy bow, inviting her to climb aboard. "After you, milady."
Kit got into the helicopter easily, and discovered that the interior wasn't very large. Cait barely had the room to move freely when he got aboard, and so Kit moved to the seat in the back. "I assume you know how to fly this?"
"Sure thing," Cait said cheerfully. "Not that I've had much practice, but I've ridden in these things hundreds of times, and watched the pilots. It's not that hard, really."
"Well, that makes me feel really confident," Kit muttered, looking around for a seat belt as the gigantic moogle wedged its way between the controls and the pilot's chair.
"Don't worry about it," Cait assured her, flipping a few switches. "It's all under control." He paused, looking puzzled, then slapped his forehead. "Oh, of course. I didn't start the engine yet."
Kit sighed as the blades above them began to turn and they began to rise. Looking out the glass bubble that surrounded them, she finally got a good idea of exactly how many refugees there really were. "Reeve, where are all those people going to go now? There must be hundreds of them left without homes."
"Well... I'm not sure yet," the cat admitted. "I really wanted to come with you in person, to be on the Highwind with everyone else... whatever they may think of me," he muttered. "But no one else understands how to handle this situation - exactly what kind of resources and how much these people need. Being city planner, I had to puzzle out their needs as well as I could when Midgar was designed, though the President had his own agenda that got in the way. I'm really the only one left who knows how to deal with this particular problem." The cat shrugged. "Hopefully, the rest of the plate will hold, and we can just set up some temporary shelters outside the walls until repairs get made, and then we can begin to move them back in. But if not... well, someone knowledgeable has to be there to come up with another plan."
His voice sounded weary, and Kit felt bad for the man. "It's not like all this responsibility rests on your shoulders, necessarily," she pointed out. "If you've got too many other issues, there's no reason for you to send Cait to the crater with us."
"Didn't Cloud tell you the same thing last night? And I'd have to give the same answer you did, more or less: If there's anything I can do to save this world, I have to do it. Helping the citizens of Midgar to safety won't do any good unless there's somewhere safe for them to go, you know?"
Kit started to answer, but surprised herself by yawning instead. Cait noticed, and smiled. "I thought you said you didn't need to sleep."
"Maybe I was wrong," she admitted. "Sephiroth never seemed to, but I'm not exactly like Sephiroth."
"And thank goodness," the cat muttered, softly enough that Kit supposed she wasn't supposed to hear it. "It'll be a few hours before we get back to the Highwind," he told her. "Why don't you just relax for awhile?"
"You sound like you could use sleep more than I could," she observed.
"Maybe, but then who'd fly the copter?" he returned with a grin. "I'll get a nap in once we're back at the Highwind. Go on, doze off if you like - today's going to be a big day."
Kit didn't exactly want to be reminded of that, but she nodded and slid down in her seat. It wasn't very comfortable, but the hum of the blades overhead was a strangely soothing noise, and she soon felt herself growing drowsy. Her thoughts drifted back to the day's events, all the frightened and injured people, and the red-clad man who'd declared his duty to protect them, and something occurred to her. "Reeve? Why is it you asked me to come to Midgar with you, and not Cloud or Tifa? I don't think either of them had anywhere to go either. I'm sure they would have helped."
The cat paused. "Well... to be honest..."
"Yes?"
"I just... well, they're already set on their paths," Cait explained hesitantly. "They've got their personal reasons for going after Sephiroth. But you, you said you were just doing it because you felt like you had to protect the world. I thought... maybe if you helped the people of Midgar, you'd feel less obligated. Maybe you'd feel like you'd done enough already. I... don't want you to have to hurt the one you love, if it can be avoided."
Kit nodded. "I guess I can understand that reasoning, but it's like you said yourself - getting the people out of Midgar doesn't do any good if the world's destroyed. There are more people than that huge crowd back there that need protection. So no matter what, if I can do something about it..." Her thought was cut off by another yawn.
The cat smiled, turning back to the controls. "You and I think a lot alike," he commented. "But thinking won't do you any good now - you look exhausted. Get some sleep, okay? For the time being, you've helped all the people you can."
His words were true, and so Kit allowed herself to close her eyes. In no time at all, the hum of the motors and the smooth motion of the helicopter lulled her to sleep.
To Chapter FortySix. To the intro. That means it's mine, not yours! |
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