There are some very strong words in any language…most misused, spoken without thought, without real relevance, without true meaning. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard “I’m Sorry”, or how many times I’ve counted myself a culprit of overusing that phrase. Hello, Goodbye…we say them every day….but do we stop to think about what they really mean? About if they were really final? And, of course, hate…and love…very powerful words, indeed… Most people believe hate and love are the opposites of each other, but I’ve been told that indifference, is the opposite to both, which are merely the same in a positive or negative light.

I stand here, having stepped back for a moment, a long moment, simply to watch…as I did a good half a year ago…to watch, to see, what has become of a world… The world is what you make of it: your online world, a message board, your offline world, your school, your work, your play…they are, indeed, all variations of the same. Life, a roller coaster of hills…tears, anger, laughter, chills…

Hello…how many faces pass in and out of our lives…how many we never stop to appreciate until we have wronged them, until they are gone, until we notice an emptiness where they once filled a place…Hello…an opening, a greeting, a beginning…do you say hello to your friends? When you say hello, is it a reflex? An invite to speak? An offering of some small piece of yourself? Or is it just a word? Do you all remember the firsts of your lives? The first time you fell in love? The first person you lost? The first time you were rejected? The first broken heart? The first day of your favorite trip? The first time you posted at the boards? The first time you felt important? Accepted? The first time you thought of someone else, before you thought of yourself?

And do you remember the last? The last time you said you were sorry? And meant it? The last time you hurt a friend? The last time a friend hurt you? The last time you said goodbye? And didn’t want to? And did want to? The last time you said something you didn’t mean? The last time you lost something important to you? Goodbye is not as hard as hello. Goodbye is an ending…endings may be sad, but beginnings are more difficult…Beginnings, Ends, it’s all a matter of the choices we make…

Hello & Goodbye, we say them without even thinking, not even seeing that a hello can be the start of something wonderful, were we to open ourselves to an idea, to a person, to a situation…nor do we realize…that any goodbye can be forever. Life is indeed unpredictable, sometimes painful, as recent events have forced many of us to see. Little words…we say them many times a day, a week, a month, a year, a life…without stopping to think about how every hello, every goodbye, can change our lives dramatically.

I’m sorry…I apologize…do they mean the same as “I was wrong…” “Forgive me...” Really, truly, honestly? A world of materialistic, self-centered people…I can include myself in that group, in fact, I am fairly sure I could include just about everyone…we’ve all put ourselves first at one time or another. But if you remember the last time you said you were sorry, do you remember why you said it? Do you remember if you meant it? Were you saying it just to pacify? I’m sorry becomes a very empty phrase in a world where people step on each other with no regard for feelings. Yes, there is such a thing as free speech, as an open forum…but to the point of people berating each other with nonsense? To the point of not knowing when to say not “I am sorry” but “I am wrong, forgive me” ? We all like to be right, we all like to be accepted…stop for a moment, and think about walking miles…in another person’s shoes. Think the way they think, feel the way they feel, and then wonder to yourself if your words, spoken without thought, your actions, committed without thought, are enough to damage someone else with little reason. Feelings are bound to be hurt at times, for none of us are alike…we all have our highs and lows, our likes and dislikes…but more and more, I see the selfishness of a world absorbed in its own priorities tearing each other apart, and the simple kindness and friendship once evident every day interaction has fallen by the wayside. Apologies have becomes blank statements, and childish, petty, selfish banter is all we have resorted to. A pity…

We are a chain…and in a chain, we can have no weak links, lest the entire thing fall apart. The tension within the worlds we reside in builds to almost unbearable levels at times. Watching over the past few days, the past few months, has made me realize this. Here and in my offline world. But…those days, those days when some outside force acts upon a group, a world, those selfish feelings are immediately put aside in favor of supporting the group as a whole. I do not need to cite specific instances, each of you can recall enough on your own. Remember those days, for they seem to be of a time that we all have left behind. Family, community, call it what you must…it is a chain…and when one person, just one person, lashes out, hurts another, it radiates through the entire chain to affect us all, even those who simply watch. And if one link is broken, the chain is no more. I see no chain where was once a bond of respect, trust & friendship…I only see discarded bits of sad, sorry and selfish enemies.

To Hate, to Love…once a long time ago, I made a post about what love really is. In most respects, I continue to stand by the feeling that none of us truly knows, or ever will. The Single good quality I find in myself is my ability to seek the positive. In every person…in every situation, in every day of my life, I am fighting…I am fighting for the good. I do not believe the world has gone to shit. I do not believe people are evil. I strive to find the bright and radiant in everything, I give my life to learn to love. That is what love is about…learning…If you can find simply one thing to love, to appreciate, in every day, the selfish negativity that surrounds us all will diminish, even if only a little bit. Have you ever spent a day walking around and smiling at complete strangers? I have. And you know, nine out of ten of them smiled back at me…and maybe those nine out of ten will smile at the next ten they meet, and nine out of their ten will do the same…and maybe that single smile will echo across the people we meet to save someone far away.

That’s all it takes…an effort…a resolve…a desire…to find the good in life. Hate? What can be so terrible in your life as to make you hate? Because someone betrayed you? Because someone lied to you? Because someone doesn’t agree with you? Because someone did something without thinking? Because you’re sick, or tired…disappointed, hurt, depressed? Because you’re angry, fed up, defeated? Because you have nothing to live for? We’ve all been there. There is always something to live for. And I don’t mean your family…or your friends. I’m not talking about your music, your art, your games, your stories, or even a sunny day.

You live for yourself.

And in living for yourself, you live for all the rest. If you live for yourself, then you must somewhere deep down believe there is a bit of good inside you…and if you love that bit of good, you can find the ability to love everything around you.

It isn’t easy. I fall. I fall often. I cry. I cry a lot. I hurt, I rage, I apologize…I say hello and goodbye without thinking. I cry “I’m sorry” without remembering why I’m saying it. I even hate for no reason sometimes. I am a culprit of all the things I preach to you about. Therefore I am no better than anyone else, nor have I ever claimed to be. But there is something else I do that I think some of you refuse to. I love. There are some of you who don’t know me, maybe never will, and there are others among you whom I know I have touched. There are days when my life falls apart. There are days when I can find little reason to go on. But I do. Because love is trust. Trust…is the belief that things will get better. Trust is the feeling that someone out there cares, even if you don’t know it. Trust is that little thing inside us that makes us hope, dream, wish…why do I say that? Because if we did not trust ourselves, we would never believe those hopes, dreams, & wishes had a chance of coming true. But we do, or we wouldn’t have them in the first place. My love for everyone and everything around me is rooted in hope, & in trust.

Hello & Goodbye…I’m Sorry…Hate…Love…They are all very powerful things. It is up to each one of us how we choose to live life…but everything we do affects the universe around us. I have my days of being hopeless and negative…but I have many more of being full of the hope, trust, & love that life can offer. “And though we choose between reality & madness…it’s either sadness or euphoria…”