Author's note: This is a fragment that may become a full-fledged fic if I ever decide I have time to explore it. And in my mind, it's canon before she falls for Tidus, so nyah!


Summoner's Journal ~ Kilika Island ~ 3:34 AM

I know I should be asleep. You would scold me if you knew I was awake. "A summoner needs her rest, a summoner needs to be strong and alert..." I can hear your voice murmuring to me even now.

I can't sleep though... another of my haunting dreams has jarred me awake at this late hour. I can see you, in the bed right next to mine, so close and yet so far. I sit here in silence, simply reveling in watching the easy rise and fall of your chest, lost and found in watching you breathe.

I wish I could curl up against you, have you hold me, inhale the comforting scent of you, as I did when I was younger, wakened afraid from a dream.

I am supposed to be stronger than that now, though. After all, am I not Spira's hope? Spira's hope can't crumple like a child from a mere bad dream.

Maybe it's not so much the dream as feeling alone, though. Even though I have all my dearest friends to keep me company on this journey, I cannot help but feel separated from all of you.

I wonder sometimes, what you would do, if I gave into the call of my heart...how would you react if I just leaned over you one solemn night, wound my hands into your braids, and grazed your perfect lips with a tender kiss... I wonder, would you push me away? Perhaps it's only my imagination that believes I catch your wistful glances at me.

I am not allowed to love though, am I? Least of all, you...you who would call me sister, you who already has a true love, though he is gone from this world.

So many people left us today...I saw the pain in your eyes as I finished the sending. Is it pain remembering Chappu? Is it pain knowing you will lose me? Is it just pain, becase we know little but pain?

I wish for just a moment that I could embrace you, and that we could both forget the ravaging of the world...for just a moment...

Maybe another night, another place...I will put aside Spira for a night, and simply be Yuna. For now though, I close this book, and try to return to sleep. Once again, the duty of a summoner of Spira exceeds the desire of a lonely woman.