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Chapter Seven I don't have to be the one to tell her. The sound of sobbing from inside the house filled Kain with a feeling of relief. He was ashamed of it, but the entire way to Rosa's house, he had been desperately wishing he didn't have to be the one to tell her that her father was dead. Someone else had gotten there first. He could hear a deep voice behind the door, and someone crying... Rosa's mother, almost certainly. But Rosa... Where was Rosa? As concerned as he was, Kain paused as he was about to knock. He remembered vividly the day his own father's death had been reported to him. That day hadn't been so terrible - there was no evidence, so he could deny it. But when his father's armor was returned to him... "There you are..." Cecil said, out of breath but sounding relieved. "Why'd you run off like that?" Kain didn't look up from the helmet he held in his hands as he sat beneath the bushes. "I wanted to be alone." "Kain..." Rosa caught up then, panting and leaning over, trying to get her breath back. "You don't have to be." "I want to be." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his friends glance at each other. "I'm so sorry this happened," Rosa told him, and Cecil nodded. "It's not your fault." Cecil looked at him curiously. "That's not what she meant. You know that." "Yeah. Would you go now?" "Kain, we're your friends." Rosa knelt down beside him, trying to make eye contact, but he turned his head. "Then why don't you listen to me? Go away." "We just want to help..." "You can't. Go away." But as many times as he told them that, they still didn't believe him. And so he'd ended up sitting there with the two of them for an hour or so, blocking the sounds of their voices out of his head as they tried to comfort him. They could do him no good; they couldn't understand the way he felt. But now, Kain understood how Rosa must be feeling. He couldn't subject her to the unwanted attention she and Cecil had forced on him years ago. Just as he'd turned to leave, the door opened. "Kain!" Rosa's mother exclaimed. He turned to see her standing in the doorway with a grim-looking messenger. Her eyes were all red. It had been her he'd heard crying. It was eerie enough seeing an adult cry, but an adult who had once wiped away his own tears when he was a child? "Mrs. Farrell... I'm sorry..." he muttered. "I shouldn't disturb you at a time like-" She'd turned away from him though, and called back into the house with a shaky voice. "Rosa, Kain's come to see you." Kain shook his head, but before he could say anything, Rosa's mother was ushering him in. "I'm so glad you've come, Kain - I have to go take care of some things at the castle, but I didn't want to leave Rosa alone... she said she'd be all right, but I just thought... oh, this can't be happening," she said, holding her head in her hands. "You'll stay with her, won't you?" Kain nodded helplessly. "If she wants me to..." "She's back in her room," Mrs. Farrell told him, hurrying out the door. "I'll be back in a few hours... Kain, thank you for being her friend." Kain sighed as the door closed behind her, but then a sniffling noise behind him made him turn his head. Rosa was standing there, pale and unsteady, a handkerchief clutched in one hand. "You came..." she whispered. He nodded. "You'd probably rather be alone now, right?" he said, turning back to the door. He'd told her mother he'd stay only if she wanted him to, and why would she want him to? "It's okay, I understand." "No! Kain..." She grabbed hold of his hand quickly, before he could reach for the door's latch. "Please, stay with me." He looked back at her, and caught his breath suddenly. Her dark blue eyes were glistening, and her hand was shaking. "Stay with me," she repeated tearfully. He nodded again. "If you want." She paused, glancing around the room, as if searching for something. "I was in school," she continued shakily. "We'd just started math... and the messenger came... he pulled me out of class and told me to come home..." Kain had no idea what to say, and so he remained silent, just letting her hold his hand and talk. She was still dressed for school, he noticed. The long grey skirt and pink blouse wouldn't have been something she'd have worn out in the forests with Cecil and himself. He didn't often see her dressed so nicely, with her hair down around her face like that. Her eyes continued to wander the room. "Mama was... crying... when I got here..." she murmured. Finally, her eyes met his, as they began to overflow. "Kain, he's never coming home... I'm never going to call him my Papa again... He'll never call me his little flower..." She's beautiful. The thought hit Kain like a sword blow in the gut, and his eyes widened. Of all the times to realize such a thing... but she was. He knew from the times they'd spent together hunting in the woods that she was strong, and yet the cut of her skirt emphasized her slender waist. Her eyes were dark in her pale face, framed by her golden hair, and shimmering with tears. Deep within them, Kain could see the innocence he treasured so much, and despite the tragedy, it remained. It was at the heart of who she was. He loved that innocence. He loved her. "How could someone kill my Papa, Kain?" she asked him, tears rolling down her cheeks. "How could anyone do such a thing?" Kain's heart was suddenly filled with outrage. How could anyone do this? How dare anyone do anything that hurt Rosa? She was looking up into his face, her eyes pleading for an answer. Staring back into them, Kain began to feel things he'd never felt before, things he couldn't identify. A strange sort of gentleness, mingled with violence. He would have done anything to make her feel better, and at the same time, he wanted nothing more than vengeance, to vent his outrage... It's Rosa. She's perfect, she's beautiful... and I'm full of violence. Suddenly she reached for him, as if she might embrace him. Startled, Kain took a step backwards, out of her reach, and she stared at him in confusion. "Rosa..." Kain's heart was pounding as he saw in his mind a compelling picture of himself in her arms. As much as he longed for it, he couldn't allow it. He didn't deserve it. He'd done nothing for her in his entire life, and she'd given him so much, without even knowing it. There was no way he could repay her for that, was there? Her tear-stained cheeks colored faintly as she let go of his hand. "I'm sorry... I... I forgot you didn't like that. I'm so selfish..." "No!" he said quickly. "No... Rosa..." I'm the one who's selfish. Your father just died, and all I can think about is how much I want to take you in my arms and touch your face and... He took a deep breath, summoning up all the will he had to lock away the emotions that were flooding his mind. He had to be strong, if he was to become worthy. "Rosa, I have to do something for you." She shook her head. "You're my friend, you don't have to do anything..." "No, I do," he insisted, "really I do. Trust me." The answer came to him all of a sudden, and he smiled grimly. "I'm going to avenge your father." Shock won out over the grief and confusion on her face, and her sobs stopped abruptly. "You can't!" He nodded. "I can, and I will. I vow it to you." "Kain, you don't have to," she protested. "They're trained ninjas - you can't possibly think you could-" He ignored her protests. "I swear it, on my father's armor and my hope of becoming a Dragoon - your father's murderers will not live to see another sunrise," he finished firmly. Her face went dead white again as she heard the words spoken. She may have been innocent enough not to see all the violence within him, Kain thought, but she knew him well enough to know that this vow was one that could not be broken. "Why are you doing this?" she whispered as the tears began to roll down her cheeks again. "Because I have to." She started to say something else, but was cut off by the sound of the door opening. The two of them turned to see Cecil rush in, and go to Rosa's side, enfolding her in his arms. She clung to him, crying, as Kain looked on. Cecil could do that, unlike him. He could comfort such a perfect creature as Rosa without feeling awkward or thinking selfish thoughts. "Rosa, I'm so sorry," Cecil murmured to her. Kain stood there for a few moments, feeling the jealousy build inside him again until he could barely stand it. Cecil would hold her for a time, but he would do something more, he reminded himself as he headed for the door. Something that would last forever. "Kain, no!" Rosa's cry halted him just as his hand touched the latch, but he shook his head and opened it. "Cecil, stop him! He's going to get himself killed!" "What?" Cecil exclaimed from behind him. Just as Kain began to pull the door open, Cecil was suddenly standing in his way, holding the door shut. "Rosa, what do you mean? Where are you going?" he asked Kain. "I made a vow to avenge her father," he replied coldly. "You will not stop me, if you have any sense of honor." Cecil shook his head. "Kain, are you insane? You can't take out four ninjas all by yourself... or is someone going with you?" Kain bristled. How dare Cecil try to interfere with the one thing he could do to make himself worthy of Rosa? "I go alone." "That's foolish," Cecil told him. "She's right, you'll just get yourself killed. Sure, you're good, but not that good." "We'll see, won't we?" Kain remarked. "Step away from the door." Rosa was crying even harder, and Cecil glanced back at her before glaring at Kain. "Look what you're doing to her! Isn't it enough that her father was just killed? Do you think she really needs another death to mourn today?" "I have no intention of dying," Kain replied. "Well, intentions don't always determine the outcome," Cecil retorted. "So you'd rather her father's death went unpunished?" Kain shot back. Cecil threw up his hands in frustration. "No! But taking on four ninjas by yourself is suicide! And you, you've never even killed anyone before - you think you can handle it?" "Yes." Cecil sighed. "Kain... if you're so set on doing this, at least let me go with you. Then we could each take out two, that would be possible-" "I go alone," Kain repeated. "Besides, I wouldn't want it on your conscience if you had to kill again," he added in a lower voice. "I'll do it myself." "And what about your conscience?" "I have no moral dilemmas when it comes to those who have hurt Rosa. Stand aside, Cecil." "Kain," Cecil started, but Kain yanked the door open despite Cecil's attempt to hold it closed. He glanced back at Rosa, who was staring at them fearfully, weeping. "Don't worry, Rosa. I'll be fine. Cecil, take care of her, and I'll be back soon." As he left, he heard Cecil take a step outside after him, but when he glanced back, he saw Rosa throw her arms around Cecil's shoulders, crying. Cecil wasn't going anywhere. And why should he, Kain wondered - Rosa was with him. The jealousy flared up again briefly, but he pushed it aside. Cecil might be the one to comfort her now, but Kain would be the one to set things right. It was something he could do that Cecil couldn't - cold vengeance. She would respect him for that, and soon enough, it would be his turn to hold her. © 1999 by Andrea Hartmann. |
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